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[wherever Casey is staying, he shall wake up to a letter the morning of the 13th, addressed to him in beautiful blue ink, all looping, graceful letters.]

My dear friend Casey,

I hope this day is finding you well.

How fortitudinous that our paths crossed inside Vasilisa's but a few days ago! I can hardly begin to imagine how my arrival would have gone without the kind reassurances and gentle promises of friendship you provided me with. I look forward to getting to learn more about one another. The world you've come from sounds most interesting. I should very much like to hear more about it someday.

My short time in this place so far has been spent mostly in Willow. I've been making myself familiar with the layout, the shops, the darling little daily market. There is still so much to learn of our new home - there are moments I fear it shall take me years to learn the full of it properly! - but I am much emboldened to be surrounded by such generous, warm individuals, such as yourself, so willing to welcome me without pause.

We simply must take tea in my new home at your earliest convenience. Let me know when you are available and we shall set a date. I eagerly await your reply.

All the best,
Rue ♥

[It takes a while for him to read it; his education definitely did not include how to read cursive or fancy handwriting. He's going to cherish the heck out of this, though. His first letter! On real paper! It's beyond precious, and the fact that Rue took the time to write him like this over such a casual comment is just… ah! It's so much! This place is so much.]

Rue I got your letter! Thank you!! It's so nice! I'm gonna write you back! Give me some time, okay? Oh and I'd love tea! Anytime you're free!

[Oh! It does warm Rue's heart to know he's received their letter.]

Certainly, my friend! Please, take as much as you need. Some of the fun is simply in the anticipation.

And of course. How does this afternoon work for you? Or tomorrow morning, if not today?

I can visit this afternoon, yeah. It's the address on the letter?

[That sure does make it easier to know where to go and where to send a response. Envelopes are so sensible!]

[the power of an epistolary phase!!]

That is correct. My cottage is still quite simply furnished for now, but I would be delighted to have you over.

Should I bring anything?

[He's never visited anyone's house before, and isn't sure what he could bring, but he's got time! What is house visit protocol!?]

Only yourself. I shall provide the snacks.

Okay. Thank you! I'll be there in a bit.

[Tea with Rue, tea with Rue-!]

[True to his word a responding letter does arrive a couple of days later. It's… rudimentary, which is obvious by the envelope alone. Both letter and address are written in blocky, elementary-quality printing, though the content itself is just fine. His hands lack the experience or coordination for handwriting versus texting, clearly. He's enthusiastic at least?]

Dear Rue,

I'm doing well, I think. It's hard to get used to seeing so many people. This world is so lively but it's also too quiet. I've never been on my own before, so the quiet is new.

I'm glad I could help you when you first got here. You really helped me too. I can't lie, I was a mess. But you were so nice and calming to be around. That's amazing, you know? You're amazing. Thank you for giving me some peace when I really needed it.

I haven't stayed in Willow yet. I'm trying to stay in all the different places before I figure out where I want to settle. If I can settle. I'm used to moving around a lot, I can't remember the last time we had a long-time home. How do you choose? There's so many options. I'm staying in a hole in a hill in Lapine right now. I like living underground, because it feels like my old place. But maybe it'll change. The sun is too bright for me still. I loved seeing your home though, and maybe seeing more houses will give me ideas of what it's supposed to look like. I don't know how to decorate yet.

Writing is hard. It takes so long! I think I like it, though. You really have to think about what you're writing. Thank you again for the letter. I'll keep practicing.

All the best! Are you supposed to end things a certain way?
-Casey

[This letter comes with a small package - dropped off at his residence and tucked into the mailbox, not even mailed - containing a booklet of nice quality paper and some fancy ink pens. Just a little something to help make the experience even better.]

Dearest Casey,

It pleases me deeply to hear that you are doing well, though I completely understand the sentiment of finding so much of this world too quiet. While I do mostly enjoy the silence, it can, at times, be almost overwhelmingly so. Those are always the moments where the absence of my husband feels the most pronounced.

I know we are new friends, but I hope you do not think me too forward to extend a paw and offer you temporary stay at my lodgings, if the loneliness of living on your own ever becomes too much. You shall always have a place with me.

Thank you for such kind words, dear. Truly, I am grateful I was able to bring even a little peace to you that day. It was quite the ordeal for all of us.

Truth be told, Willow reminded me most of my home, so the choice was easy to make. I also find the cottages there to be more spacious than any of the housing elsewhere. Most of it is made with humans in mind, naturally, so most spaces do not have ceilings and doorframes to accommodate my unusual height and frame. The cottage I've found may not be completely perfect - I still must bow my head to clear the entryway - but it is as near as I can hope for.

I can not overstate that any space you create for your own will be perfect however you wish to style it. A living space is as much a reflection of yourself as the clothing you choose to wear. So I look forward to seeing what you create. But, having said that, if you need a creative eye on bringing your space together, I am more than happy to offer my talents.

Letter writing does take some practice and upkeep! To be told, I have not written a proper letter since I left Faerie, so I do feel most out of practice. So this is a wonderful way to hone that skill all over again. Thank you for indulging me with these letters, even if there are quicker ways to communicate in this world. And as a small thank you for writing with me, I've enclosed some fine paper and ink that should come in handy with your practice. Please let me know how you like them.

As far as a closer goes, most letters end in a Complimentary Close. It is the part that immediately precedes the signature and it can be any manner of closer. The most common would be Sincerely or Cordially or Always, but you can be as creative as you like. Much like this:

Always your friend,
Rue ♥

[His next letter comes a little faster, and it's written on some of the new paper they gave him. Each paragraph switches to a different colour pen.]

Dear Rue,

Thank you for the package! These look so nice. I like the colours. I feel really fancy writing a letter with this.

Thank you for the offer to let me stay, too. You're not the first to do that either. People here are so nice and welcoming, I don't know what to say. When I did that public post, I had a bunch of strangers offer to take me out for food, or to bring me stuff they baked, it was amazing. I had no idea folks could be so generous. I don't know how to thank everyone, now. It feels kind of empty just saying it. Is there anything I can do for you, that might help you? I'm not good at a lot but I can clean and take notes. I've been told I learn stuff quickly.

I wonder if there's anyone who could modify the house to make it easier. I'm no builder, so I could be wrong, but changing a door wouldn't be too hard, would it? Just make the whole thing a little bigger. I'll think about my own decorations, but I'll hold off until I really settle. I don't want to end up moving again and having to cart whatever I got with me. I don't have portals for that!

If we both need the practice, I don't mind writing more letters. I'm happy for it, actually! It's sort of fun? A different kind of fun than I'm used to. I can tell just by looking that you know a lot more about writing than I do. Never had much of a chance to do handwriting before. Hopefully it isn't too hard to read. If it is, sorry! But that's what the practice is for I guess.

If you don't mind my asking, and sorry if this is a weird question: do you look the way you do because of this place, or how you were born? Because back on Earth there were a lot of mutants and yokai with animal traits, but not all of them started out like that, and Thirteen gave a lot of people different features, too. I didn't want to end up saying something that might bother you if she did something you didn't like. (Oh, but you don't have to answer if you don't want to. And sorry again.)

If that's too weird, how about: have you ever seen a cat? I saw one for the first time the other day! It let me pet it! It was so soft... I think I'd like to turn into a cat instead of whatever Thirteen did to me.

Let's see. Sincerely, until next time,
Casey

To my dearest, Casey,

Nothing could please me more than to hear that you are enjoying the small gifts I sent along. Please let me know if you begin to run out of anything. Next time, we can shop for new supplies together.

As for your concerns, I must ask only that you trust in the goodness of the world around you. I also come from a world where such one-sided kindnesses often seems impossible, but I assure you, a word of thanks is sometimes more than enough. It certainly is for me. I expect nothing from you besides, I hope, a mutual continued promise of friendship.

You make a very convincing point. It seems silly to put my paw down and refuse to allow others to help me in the very same breath that I have asked you to let yourself be helped as well, but I suppose my mind is still struggling to believe this cottage is truly my own. I do not know if this world is quite that cruel yet, but my previous quarters were a rented unit with roommates. Sometimes I can hardly believe that all of this space is truly my own. Clearly, I must change my mindset.

As for your lodgings, you need not rush, little one. As I have stated, if you need a temporary place to stay while you are finding your perfect home, you will always have space here with me. Among the fey, time is so much less of a demand. I find that it is only with humans where time begins to become a more pressing concern, but I promise, you have all the time in the world to search. And while you do, you shall never be without a roof over your head.

Believe me, I have spent the last few millennia becoming a master of making words out of chicken scrawl and your handwriting is nothing of the sort. And practice is only improving it.

Oh, I must apologize! I should have assumed my shape would be new to someone from such a particular world. No, this is my true form, unaltered by Thirteen. I was born an owlbear. What you see is my most authentic self.

(And for your extra question, yes, I have had many associations with cats over the years. They are quite dear, don't you think? If I was to take an animal companion, I think I should like a feline.)

Until next time, my friend!

Always,
Rue ♥

[Is he gonna tear up a little every time they call him dearest? Maybe. It's such a gentle way to start a letter. No one's ever called him that before.

The letter this time has a new address on it, a little closer to Rue's home- a house in Leshy.]

Dear Rue,

I'd love to go shopping with you. I bet you'd have all kinds of great advice on what materials to buy. I'm not sure I'd know where to start. But at least I have plenty of spoons for it now?

Oh, and you can definitely count on me to keep on being your friend! I'm happy to, as long as you'll have me. I'd be an idiot to say no, especially when you've been so nice, and have never done anything to make me think otherwise. I'm lucky to have you.

If you want any help with your house, just say the word and I'll be there. I don't know that much about construction, but I do know a few tricks on making a small space work better for someone really tall. Oh, speaking of! I'm trying out the treehouses in Leshy now. It's not bad, the area smells really nice. I'm not sure I like how open it is though it has great background noise- nature sound amazing! I've never seen animals like this! I can always hear people around, which makes it feel less lonely. It's close by the lake, if you ever want to try those swimming lessons.

You don't have to apologize at all. I just didn't want to pry into it if it wasn't my business. I've never met an owlbear before, but I could probably write a whole book full of stuff I've never heard of. I'm glad I can say I met one now. Is it weird to say I think you look really cool? You remind me of home.

Have you been to the cat cafe? They're so cute. I wanted to stay and pet them all day, but the coffee made me sick so I had to go home. Next time I'll have tea.

Always your friend,
Casey

[Ooh, that one does feel good to write. He'll remember that.]

[This letter comes along with another small gift. Delicately folded up and wrapped in magically color changing wrapping paper is a varsity jacket, completed with Casey's name displayed on the back, in a soft teal color. It is the same exact jacket that Peter and the turtles are receiving, just in his color and with his own name.]

My friend,

And how grateful I am to have your friendship! Please think nothing of it, but I have attached a small token of my affection with this letter. I did not take your measurements, but I have a fairly keen eye on such things. If it needs taking in, however, please do not hesitate to ask. I would be happy to adjust it however you need.

That sounds quite exciting. What is it like to live among the trees? Despite my wings, I find that I am much more comfortable on the ground, but I have always been curious. Do you ever fear you shall fall? Or is it quite safe? And what luck, there is a lake near my home as well, so we shall have plenty of swimming spots to take advantage of once we begin.

It is only weird if you say it is. But thank you, dearest, there was a time where I was ashamed of my wild appearance, but I have since grown to love my shape. It is unique and strange in a land of mostly humans, yes, but it is also striking and soft and beautiful. Which may sound vain to say of oneself, but I could not care less. If my appearance has been torn down by others my whole life, then I shall be the one to rebuild it myself. To be a reminder of home, however, is a compliment I shall always hold dear.

Thank you.

I have not even heard of a cat café! That sounds darling. Would you like to join me there soon? I would love the company.

Please be wary of the fog as of late. It can be easy to get lost within if you are not careful.

Your friend forever,
Rue ♥

Edited 2023-08-24 19:57 (UTC)

Dear Rue,

Thank you again for the jacket! It's so nice. I've never gotten clothes this nice before. I promise I'll always treasure it! I think it fits just fine, though I wouldn't know how it's supposed to look. Still, I don't think you should change anything about it, it's perfect.

It's a little strange being around trees at all, nevermind living in one. They didn't exist anymore in my world, but here they're so huge it's like they're from another planet. I'm not worried about falling so much, since I usually have my gear with me. My glove has a grappling hook, so I should just be able to catch myself. If not, I can probably roll and land safely enough that I wouldn't die or anything, so don't worry.

I don't think it's vain to say you're soft and beautiful. It's just the truth. My sensei used to talk himself up all the time (how he was big and strong and handsome) and some people said he was full of himself, but to me it just sounded like confidence. Life is hard enough already, there's no reason to be hard on yourself too. I think he'd tell you something like that if he were here. I'm sorry that other people couldn't see that before. But I'm glad you have lots of people around you now who can tell you you're beautiful!

Actually, I have met an owl person before, now that I think back. When I was little, Big Mama visited our base (she's a huge spider yokai, i don't know if that's her real name) and she had guards with her. One of them was a huge owl yokai. I think his beak was as big as my head! I don't think he ever so much as looked at me, but I hid in sensei's scarf until they left. He didn't have a kind face like yours.

I'd be happy to go to the cat cafe with you. It's not too far at all. And even if it was, it would be worth it! Call me biased, but I love cats now. I vote we go there next. I bet they'd love to sit on all your soft feathers.

You be careful of the fog too! I'm gonna wear my mask every time I go out…

Also your friend forever!
-Casey

[The whole bottom of the page is covered in hearts of varying colours and a variety of little emote faces. Mikey would be proud. …But mostly he's just practicing with the new pens.]

Casey,

Whether you think it's perfect or not, I'll measure it next time I see you. I want to make sure there is enough room in the shoulders for you to continue to grow, while still not being a hassle by slipping off of you too easily. I promise, if I do any alteration on it, you may watch, to make certain I change nothing else.

And please, if there's any other clothing or tailoring you need, you simply must tell me. As your friend, I want to help where I can, to make your life in this land as easy as possible.

Thank you, I am much relieved to know you shall be safe up there among the trees. Though I may beg that any meetings we have are here, safely on the ground. I do not think my reflexes will save me as easily as yours will save you. What grace I have been blessed with only applies to the solid ground beneath my taloned feet. I am certain I shall become quite the clumsy oaf if ever I followed you up into the trees.

Your sensei is just as intelligent as I am certain he's told himself. I'm grateful you had someone like that to learn from. He sounds like a lovely man and a wonderful mentor.

Have you truly? How marvelous! I have yet to meet another owlbear myself, but I have indeed met another owl person. They were a dear friend to me and I shall never forget how seeing her wings struck me with such a sense of awe the first time. To think it took so much of my life to meet another physically similar to myself, even if not exactly the same.

It may be foolish, but I hope to meet another owlbear some day. I know they are beasts, that most are aggressive and wild and will not recognize me as their own, but it is a dream I have had since I was a cub. Just one and I will be satisfied.

(I am deeply touched that you think my face is kind. If I may speak plainly, I think yours is quite kind as well. Your eyes especially.)

It is settled. The cat café shall be our next new adventure together. I look forward to meeting all of the cats with you.

On another note, I have been taking daily trips to the market and my pantry is simply overflowing. You must come over and take some of this food. I will pack it up nicely for easy transport, but I will hear no argument.

See you shortly,
Rue ♥

Dear Rue,

Instead of making you work while we're out and about, next time I come over, you can measure if you want. There's no rush. I did want to ask you, though, do you have any suggestions about what kind of clothes I should wear? We didn't really have fashion back home, so I don't know anything about it. I've just been buying whatever looks comfortable. I guess it's never mattered too much to me, since we just took what we could get, but it would be silly if I had a pro right here and I didn't ask for ideas. Especially when you seem to love it as much as you do. (You've done enough though, so if it's too much work on top of whatever commissions you've got, don't worry about it!)

The treehouses are okay, but I don't think I'll live here. I want to live somewhere that my friends can visit. Not sure if I'll try the apartments next or somewhere else. Should I go to Gram? We could be neighbours for a bit. :)

As for sensei, I'm sure he'd like to hear you say that himself. You should tell him, since you all know each other. What a surprise that was! The world is bigger and smaller than I thought it would be at the same time. Or should I say universe, since we come from all different worlds? I don't know how it works.

I hope you do get to meet another owlbear someday. And who knows, maybe they'll be nicer than you think. Even if they're wild, though, that's not so bad. There's good and bad versions of all kinds in the world, even humans. Especially humans, sometimes.

So, you gave me so much food along with everyone else who's been helping me that now my pantry's the one overflowing. Thank you! I'm really well taken care of. I can't cook or do much else yet, but I wanted to send you something back, so I took a couple of extra days to press some leaves and blooms from the taller trees around here, since you can't climb up high. I hope they look okay. And don't worry, they were about to fall, so I didn't pull them off. I've never seen the seasons change before, but I asked around and it sounds like autumn might be starting soon.

<3
-Casey

[Included is an extra package with a cardstock page covered in multicoloured leaves and pressed flowers, arranged in a manner that is not half bad, albeit rather basic, conveying an air of "first-try". Casey never got to experience the normal arts and crafts of childhood, so let's just say he's testing the waters. They're lucky he's not sending macaroni art.]

[Casey hardly has to ask. This petter is quite a bit thicker than previous, because within it, Rue has attached multiple pages of designs for Casey, basic little sketches of himself (very rudimentary) in all sorts of different styles of clothing (much more detailed). There is some Athleisure, some casual, and some cozy. In all, there's about a dozen different selections for him to browse through.]

My dear friend,

I have attached some sketches that came to me over the last day of what I think would look lovely on you. Please let me know if any catch your eye and I'll be happy to bring them to life. (Though I may make you the oversized sweater regardless, as it is both darling and very practical for the colder weather.)

And please you must take my most sincere, ardent thanks for this beautiful gift! The next time you do visit, you shall see that it is hanging in my window. What a beautiful spray of flowers and greenery. Perhaps the next time you feel like crafting another, we can try together. It could be quite a great deal fun!

Oh, you simply must let me know if you decide to give Gram a try, though I warn you, it shall be very hard to leave if I am visiting you daily! Can you imagine, being able to take tea together and chat every single day while tending to our gardens? I can hardly imagine anything so lovely as that!

Pray, you must forgive me, as we have spoken of your Sensei in past tense, I hardly realized that he was here among us as well. May I inquire as to who he is? Someone that I already know? I can hardly guess as to who that would be, it certainly can not be my new friend Fenris. None of how you have described them matches him in the slightest.

I will close this letter with another word of thanks. Thank you, Casey, for being my friend and being so open to trying all of these new experiences. I find your bravery refreshing, how willing you are to open yourself and try new things. Sometimes that can be quite terrifying, but I have never once seen you why away from the unknown. I am so grateful to know you.

Your friend always, through thick and thin,
Rue ♥

[This letter is accompanied by many of the sketches returned to them with a number in the corner of each. It seems he's ranked them in order of favour. He shows that he's particularly fond of althleisure and cozy, and items with either simple flat colours or repeating patterns. Without cutting into the drawings themselves, there are a few arrows pointing towards some of the features he likes. More rarely, there might be a comment of if a particular article or part would be hard to move in. He's still got the mentality of function over fashion, sorry Rue.]

Dear Rue,

I don't know how to respond to these sketches without looking greedy! I love all of them. I marked down my favourites, so maybe you could pick a few that you like most, or would be fun for you to make? I took copies and am going to use them for reference when I shop for clothes. This is really going to help a ton, thank you! You went above and beyond anything I could imagine. Please take your time, you must have a lot of work to do already.

Next time I visit I'll definitely bring more flowers and pressed plants. There's a lot of them in the forest, way too many to count. I'm not sure where I'll put them all. Someone suggested I make a book, so I might do that. I can't get over how colourful everything is. This place is beautiful. No wonder people like nature so much.

Tea with you all the time does sound really nice, actually. That would be a big point in Gram's favour. I still have some time in the treehouse, but I'll probably scout out some of the cottages next week. I'll let you know as soon as I'm there. Maybe you can show me around :)

Sorry for the confusion! I thought he might have told you already. Sensei is Master Leonardo. I'm from the future in his world, or I guess an alternate timeline now. Where I came from aliens called the Krang destroyed the world, so I was sent back in time so they could be stopped. And they were! Leo and everyone saved the world, so now there's a different future. It's just a habit to call him sensei still, because I always have, but I don't think he minds. At least, he hasn't told me he does. Is that weird?

Actually that's a silly question. Everything about what I just said is weird… but sensei is Leo, just a future version. (I don't know anyone named Fenris.)

Rue, you don't have to thank me for being your friend. I'm happy to do it, and it means I get to have you as a friend, too. But if you insist, then thank you for being my friend too! It's a lot easier to be brave when I have someone like you encouraging me to try. I've never seen anybody support the people they care about the way you do. If you ever need someone to stand with you and help you feel brave, don't hesitate. I know we'll all come running.

Thank you thank you thank you!
-Casey

My dearest,

You must forgive me the strange order of this letter, but I simply could not wait to address this particular topic with you. My darling Leo is the Sensei you have spoken so fondly of? And you are from a future point from beyond where he is from? I believe I understand. Well! I should think after this story you've lived through that desiring to call Leo your Sensei is hardly the weirdest part of it! I imagine you are just fine. He would say otherwise, if such a thing bothered him in the slightest.

I am not at all surprised with the descriptions you have given me to imagine that man as Leo, nor the idea that he and his brothers have saved the world before, but I can not begin to conceive how strange a situation it is for you, darling. I can only hope it is not too difficult to navigate. The boys do adore you so much, even with these strange time shenanigans in play.

Well! Let me try to get back to the rest of the letter now.

There is nothing at all greedy about wanting to present well and dress in the style you are most comfortable in. As someone who went without for dozens of years, I can promise you that such a thing should simply be a human right. But I must say I am most delighted that you enjoyed any of my designs! I will get to work bringing a few to life for you posthaste.

A scrapbook of dried flowers perhaps? That could be quite beautiful. I prefer them living, certainly, but I've pressed many a flower in my day. It is a simple enough process with wondrous results. If you decide you should like to start such a hobby, I only ask that you bring your book by on occasion, so that I may see the results.

You hardly even need to ask. I would be more than happy to give you the full tour. I think my faerie friends at the market would be delighted to meet you.

Your words honor me, Casey, and I am grateful to know that neither you nor I must face this new world alone, even if there are those we wish were here experiencing this all with us. So, instead of thanking you again for your friendship, I shall simply say that I am very happy to know you.

Be well my friend,
Rue ♥

[This letter arrives from a new address- a not-too-distant cottage in Gram, of course.]

Dear Rue,

I won't lie, it's been ha ~~pai~~ challenging. They're so kind and fun to be around, and they've taught me so much about what life should be like. They're the same people deep down, but they're missing so many memories. To me, they've always been there, as far back as I can remember, but to them we only met a month or so ago. It's like my whole family forgot who I am. Or more like, they're my family, but I'm not theirs. If that makes any sense.

Peter told me something similar, that they like me and all, and I hope that's true. I think it is. I want them to like me. I'd be too scared otherwise, I don't want to lose them again. But I worry sometimes I must seem like this weird kid they just met who knows them better than I should. Sometimes… it's hard to be around them. There's so many things I want to say to them, but none of it would make any sense. I don't want to bother them by acting like we're closer than we are, or to make them feel pressure to be something they're not. I said some things to ~~sensei~~ Leo that I probably shouldn't have when I first met him. He wasn't what I expected, and that's not fair to him. I want to do better. I'll try harder to make new memories instead.

[There's a gap here, and a shift in pen colour. A pause in the letter.]

That was a lot, now that I look up. I'm sorry to drop all of that on you. Should I have just started over? I couldn't lie to you, though. Please don't tell them I said all that, unless you feel like you have to. I can't imagine how it'd make them feel. I think it helped to write it down though, so… thank you.

Sorry this letter is kind of a bummer. Better news: I went ahead and found a book I think will work for the flowers. I haven't gathered too many yet, but it's a start. I might have to wait for a while, though- if fall is coming like people say, there won't be many flowers or leaves left. I'll save what I can and wait until spring. (Flowers come back in spring, right? I sort of remember hearing that.) The idea of normal seasons is so weird to me, but I'm excited to see what comes. Do you have a favourite season?

I didn't know you had faerie friends! I'd love to meet them. I've never met a faerie before. What are they like? Anything I should know? You probably noticed, but I'm in Gram now. It's really nice and peaceful here, I can see why you like it.

I'm happy to know you too, Rue. I'm really glad I got to meet you. I feel safe with you. I guess that's why I'm saying too much. Promise you'll tell me if I overshare?

❤️
Casey

My friend,

You never need worry about dropping a thing upon me. That is simply what friends are for, to help carry the burdens we all have, so that not a single one of us must face it completely alone. It is the same as you would do for me, as any of the turtles would do for you or I, and vice-versa. You can trust me with your feelings, Casey. I promise that that trust will never be misplaced.

Oh, I can not wait to see your flower book! With all of the lovely greenery in Gram, I doubt it will take you very long to fill it. As far as the flowers go, I suppose that most are meant to live only during the warmer months, but mine may just be touched with magic enough to keep them alive year round. And you are always welcome to them, naturally.

How on brand for me to say Spring, but I just love the way that nature recovers from the harshness of Winter, how it softens the land and brings forth such beautiful new blooms. It is a time of replenishment, of rebirth, it is the triumph of making it through the most difficult time of the year and thriving. There is a love and warmth and the beauty of new life in Spring, but I have also thought of it as courageous in a sense, a time to rest and recover after the fight through Winter, to emerge alive on the other side of the new year and find nothing but endless possibilities awaiting you.

But I digress, what do you think your favorite season shall be? If you are quite uncertain, I'm sure we shall discover that together, as they begin to change.

And Casey! I thought you must know, but you very much have met a faerie before: me. Had I not mentioned my association with the fey before this? You must forgive me, dear. I know that my shape suggests something wilder, but even if I was not born a fey, I am fey by the magic that brought me to sapience. The blood that runs through me is faerie, not owlbear, as I have been remade in the fey magic's acceptance. But! Having said that, of course I shall be happy to introduce you to my friends. We just may need to speak more on that specifically beforehand. There is much to know before speaking to a faerie.

You shall never make me uncomfortable with oversharing, but I promise you, if I feel such a way, I will let you know. Until that very moment, you must tell me anything that you like. You are my friend and I enjoy hearing from you, all the good and all the bad. Do not feel as if you need to shield a thing from me.

I find myself in anticipation of Autumn as it sweeps in closer to us.

Your friend forever,
Rue ♥

Edited 2023-09-12 04:59 (UTC)

Dear Rue,

I could fill this whole page with thank yous over and over and it still wouldn't feel like enough. Instead of wasting this nice paper I'll just say it once: thank you for always helping me. If I can grow up to be even half as supportive to people I care about as you are, I'd be happy. And of course I'd come running if you ever needed my support now.

I'm not sure what season I'll like best. There's things I'm interested about in each of them, and stuff I know I won't like. Probably the one I'm most curious about is winter. I want to see what snow is like, to do everything you can do with it like skating or sledding or snowball fights. I want to know what a "snow day" means! But I don't know if I'll like the cold. It was cold plenty of times back home and it just made everything harder. Maybe it feels different if you have a nice house to warm up in after. Oh, and hot chocolate! I've had it now, but I hear it feels different when you have it during a snow day. So I want to try that.

About the faerie stuff, I guess I just don't know enough about it to tell the difference! I don't know much about fey or faerie, are they the same? Or can you be fey and also faerie? And are there also fairies, or is that the same, just spelled different? I don't think my world had any of those, except in old stories. Even most of those were lost in my time. We had yokai and mutants and witches, mostly. Anyway, I won't forget that! Faerie and fey, got it. And now I know how to make flower crowns, so I can share and talk with more faeries in Gram. :) I hope they like me.

The trees are turning interesting colours. That means autumn's really coming, right? I might make a whole other book just for keeping leaves. I'm going to end up keeping so much stuff now that I have the space for it. I'd better pick where to live before I get too serious with all of that, though. That part's harder than I thought it would be.

Love,
Casey

My most dearest friend,

My greatest apologies on the delay of this correspondence! As you well know, things have been busy for us as of late, and it has only been a day or so since I've seen you in person, but still, I enjoy our letters too, enough that I'd love to continue them long after our writing practice has concluded.

There is nothing quite like a day out in the cold and then coming in to thick blankets and a warm drink. We shall have to plan for that once winter arrives. I can easily see that as something we invite the turtles and Peter too along with us, an afternoon playing in the snow with them sounds like quite the event. I imagine even I would be shaking snow from my feathers after that. Either way, I look forward to spending the next seasons with you as you experience them for the first time.

It is hardly your fault. I clearly have done an atrocious job at explaining. Yes, for the most part, such words are interchangeable, though I suppose that fey encompasses those within the Feywild who are not true faeries, as well as those associated with our magic from the Material Plane. It is rather complicated, isn't it? Having lived within it, I'd hardly realized how much it was to explain. But for the ease of conversation, I am both, though not by blood, only by magic.

As for the faeries in Gram, I'm certain they will adore you just as I have, but I will make proper introductions once I have coached you in the way of faeries. I like them dearly, of course, but most fey are tricksters by nature and will do anything to bind a human to their service. I do not sense such motive when I have spoken to them in the past, but that was between their own kind. I fear they may be very eager to strike an unfair deal with you. So, coaching first, then we shall make new friends.

If you need someone to listen through your pros and cons of each housing sector, I would be happy to hear your thoughts on all of them. You deserve a home where you will feel safe, that you can make into your own, and I fully support you no matter what you choose. Let it be known that I will make the trip however far just to come and enjoy your lovely company.

Chase your happiness always,
Rue ♥

Dear Rue,

You don't have to apologize, I didn't even get this letter until today. I was staying in the Tides a lot, instead of going back and forth. It's hard for me to go in the submarine, but I can't swim well enough to do the nymph thing. But I wanted to explore the city! Even after this long I still feel like I've barely seen any of it. It's so pretty and lively. It's too far away for me to actually do it, but I keep thinking, what an amazing place it would be to live.

A day out in the snow with everyone sounds really amazing. If we do that, we have to ask them to sing the snow day song. Sensei and Commander O'Neil used to sing the bits they remembered in December around the base sometimes, and I've always wanted to hear the whole thing.

You didn't do anything wrong with explaining! I should have asked more questions, but I didn't want to grill you on what you are. That felt kind of rude when we hadn't known each other very long yet. I think I understand the fey a little better now. Though you have me kind of worried! I'll try to be careful not to get tricked by any faeries... hopefully I don't trip up trying to make friends. But if you're both fey and faerie, does that mean you're secretly a trickster too? :)

Thank you for the offer to help me pick my home, and for all your encouragement. It means a lot to know you'll still visit me. And I'll visit you! I think I do want to pick a place that's close enough to everyone that visiting won't be too hard, though. I want to be around in case anyone needs me, if it's for a fight or just emergency blanket forts or something. It's always important to be on call for whatever's needed. At least that's how I grew up.

Always your friend,
Casey

My lovely Casey,

Tides was quite the overwhelmingly wonderful experience, wasn't it? But I hope that you know that the distance would never stop any of the boys or myself from coming to visit if that is where you'd like to stay. In the end, we only want you where you would feel happiest, the place that would end up making you the best home.

Speaking of, it has been some time now, hasn't it? Have you come any closer to picking where you should like to settle down? There's never any rush, of course, but I do admit I'm already quite excited about the prospect of throwing a housewarming party in your new space.

The snow day song? You have made me curious! I should like to hear them sing it as well, I imagine it's both lovely and rather silly, knowing them. Either way, it would become just another memory the two of us could treasure with them.

As for the inquiry as to whether or not I am secretly a trickster, I refuse to comment. :)

Your dearest and perhaps sneakiest friend,
Rue ♥

Dear Rue,

I'm not really worried about the distance for you. Leo can portal anyone anywhere, and I'm sure you'd visit. It would be a problem for me, I don't feel safe in the sub. And I want to live closer! I'd just rather get around on the Cat Bus. Also, I tried out the Tides houses. They're very pretty, but kind of scary to be in for very long. The ocean is way too close through the glass when you can't breathe underwater. I think I'd go crazy if I tried to live there! It's cool to stay for a little bit, though.

I think I'm getting closer to choosing. I'm going to try living in Satori Hills next, to see if I like the apartments, and then I'll choose. Maybe if I set a deadline for myself... how about, by the end of October, I'll find a home :) That sounds nice. I think a part of me is worried I'll end up choosing wrong, but since I've moved around so much already, it's not that hard to pick up and live somewhere else. As long as I decide for sure before I get too settled. I don't have that much stuff to move right now, but if I really started decorating, I'd have more than a box or two.

You not answering the question just makes me suspicious, you know! Not that I mind either way. Our whole family can be tricksters, they used to always pull pranks and tell jokes. There's no reason why you can't be one, too.

Speaking of faerie, do you know how to make pie? I met a new friend recently, and he talked about liking something called faerie pie. Made with faeries! I was worried at first, but in his world, faeries are what they call bugs, not people. So I guess it's bug pie? Anyway, I said I would ask if you knew a kind of pie that a faerie might eat. Maybe it'd be a good replacement. (Don't worry, I told him not to eat the faeries here.)

Your less sneaky friend,
Casey

My darling friend,

I can not believe that over a week has passed since I sat down to write you back. Forgive me, Casey. I have had a great deal on my mind and it has left me in quite the sullen mood. That is hardly an excuse, I know, but I hope that you know how incredibly sorry I am. I will do what I can to communicate better in the future. And please know how grateful I am for your continued friendship and patience with me.

Anyways, the end of October sounds like a perfect date to come to your decision. That will be plenty of time to settle into a home before the holiday season and any potential snowfall we might have. As fun as the snow may be to play in, it is hardly the best type of weather when it comes to moving and I should hate to see you struggle through it while adjusting. Perhaps it is presumptuous, but I am already writing in my calender for a date to throw a small party in honor of your new home.

(Do not stress, I shall keep the invite list between us and our dearest friends.)

Regarding pies, the faerie variety and otherwise, I do not, but I believe I have a recipe book that outlines the process rather clearly. Is that something you might be interested in trying out together soon? I admit, I pale a little at the thought of your new friend eating faeries of any variety, but considering my close relatives eat humans, I suppose I do not have much room to speak! Though I appreciate you warning him off of the Willow faeries. Truth be told, I would be more worried for his sake over theirs if he tried!

Have you heard much about the upcoming holiday at the end of the month? It is not one I am familiar with, but costumes and candy are heavily involved. It makes me quite curious and I wonder if there shall be another party. Or if I should throw one myself.

Pray, I hope you are well, Casey. Know that even when we do not speak, you are in my thoughts and heart.

Your friend always,
Rue ♥

Dear Rue,

100% forgiven <3

I didn't even think about snow being a factor. Is it that hard to move in? All I know about it is that it's cold and wet. Probably a good thing I still don't have that much to move, but it's still a lot more than what I started out with! Especially with my closet starting to fill up thanks to a certain someone's great recommendations. It is getting kind of tiring. Maybe I'll end up picking Satori Hills because I don't feel like moving it all again.

A party would be nice. Would you help me if it was at my new place? I want to learn how to host properly. I never had to think about it back home but it seems like a really important skill to learn. And you're always so good at it. I'd definitely forget something.

You don't have to put yourself out learning pie with me if you don't want to, but if you DO then yeah I'd be happy to learn it together :) Maybe that can be our one new thing for the day. It's not urgent or anything, I just thought of it and wondered if it was doable, since, well. He's kind of like me? Okay, he's a lot like me. A lot of experiences that most people would normally have tried are new for him, too. I want to help him, the same way everyone's been helping me this whole time. (I'm sure he'd say he could handle the faeries, though. Unlike me he actually has magic, so it's better if they don't fight.)

The holiday is… Halloween, right? I've heard a little bit about it, but not much. Costumes and candy were kind of off the table back home. If it isn't celebrated here, a party could be cool! If you feel like it, of course. It wouldn't be fair to ask you to do too much work. But if you needed help, there's lots of us around who'd step up. What kind of costume would you make?

I was thinking of you too. I'm glad you're okay. If you ever need anything, please don't think twice about asking. I'll be there in a flash! (not as flashy as sensei's portals, but you know.)

Love,
Casey

[This letter comes a little late, but it comes attached with a box of sugar cookies. The cookies are little cookie cutouts of turtles and humans, all cartoonishly decorated as his family members. The piping isn't perfect, but it just goes to show they did not simply magic them together.]

My loveliest friend,

I know it has been said many times since my last letter, but again, thank you for your assistance, in both my particular plight and for how swiftly you managed to lighten my foul mood. Your kindness and swiftness dispatched of my molt and my mood in record time. Please enjoy the attached cookies. I am newly practiced in true decorating, so I hope the likenesses come through.

As for snow, it truly depends on the depth of it. Once it reaches a certain height, it can be incredibly strenuous to wade through. Not to mention the threat of slipping and sliding around. No, I think having yourself settled before any big snow storms would be for the best. I have not yet asked around about how winters normally go here, but it is better safe than sorry. Settling in early November should be perfect.

Of course I would help you with arranging your housewarming party. Do you think I would leave you alone to handle such an event all on your own? I daresay, I would never!

Oh Casey, I would not offer if I was not absolutely interested. I promise you. In fact, I feel that learning together would end up being beneficial to the both of us. My kitchen skills have already improved significantly since my very first attempt at cooking last year, but there is still very much that I do not know or have practice in. Back in Gloucester, it was very simple to go to the cafeteria or to order in every night, but there is not much in the way of dining out in Willow, so I am forcing myself to learn. It does not always end perfectly, but I do not feel as pressured for things to be as perfect as I once would have.

How nice that you have made a new friend. :) I am very proud of you, dear. You are, as always, a gentle, generous, sweet boy. I'm certain your new friend is very lucky to have you in his life, to have someone with similar experiences and knowledge of his predicament. Please, if either of you need a thing on this journey together, you need only ask.

Truth be told, I had not considered a costume for myself. I was so much more focused on the party itself, but that is a very fair question to ask. I will have to do more research.

Would you like to stay over again sometime soon? I very much enjoyed watching television with you until neither of us could keep our eyes open. I do not wish you keep you from home, but I would love to do it again.

Wishing you a beautiful day,
Rue ♥

[In contrast, Casey's response comes faster than normal, though the letter is shorter as well. Included is a torn sheet from his notebook with his housing pros and cons list, with sections of it scribbled out, and Satori Hills circled a few times in red:

Burrows:
+ most like home
+ secure, 1 entrance only
+ nice neighbourhood, close to Satori
+ cool in summer
+ good for gardening
- TOO much like home? not trying new things
- don't really know anyone here

Treehouses:
+ trees are pretty
+ good for grappling
- Rue can't visit :(
- what if I fall out??
- doesn't always feel sturdy
- neighbours don't like palladium drones

Gram:
+ nice houses!
+ Rue lives here
+ food is amazing
- sometimes don't feel like making flower crowns
- far from everything

Satori Hills:
+ everyone else lives here
+ don't take up much space
+ really good for grappling
+ already furnished
+ Hunter is here now
+ sensei says he can visit more :)
+ / - less space to decorate
- ~~too close, might be a bother to fam~~
- kind of loud, can hear other floors
- lots of people around, is it safe?]

Dear Rue,

Thank you for the cookies! They were really good and super cute. I'm going to find a recipe and send something back in the box once we eat them all. Brace yourself! (I'm still learning, too.)

So, here's a weird update I didn't expect: I have a roommate now. Hunter needed a place to stay, and I had an extra room, so it just kind of ended up that way. (You met him in ADI, right? A different version? He said he met you here. He's the new friend I mentioned.) It's been about a week, and we're still figuring it out, but now that he's here I kind of don't want to move anymore. We talked about decorating and it just felt nice to make it our own. I've been thinking about it, and maybe it wasn't that I didn't like any of the houses before. Maybe I just hated living alone and didn't notice the real problem until it stopped being a problem. Does that make sense? Anyways, unless Hunter says he wants his own place, I think I'll stay in Satori Hills. Besides you, it IS nice to be near everyone.

I'm not sure if he'd be comfortable having a housewarming party too early, since he's still getting used to everything. But I'll ask him. He could use more friends, and he seems to get along okay with Leo. I'm warming him up to the idea of hanging out with Peter too. And Donnie and Raph and you of course, but that'll be a lot easier for him. And thank you for everything you said... I'll try to live up to your pride and all that praise. I really want to be a good friend.

I'd love to come over again! Maybe this weekend? We can try to bake a pie and then watch whatever you want all night. Do you think there are any shows or movies about Halloween? So we can both research it :)

Love,
Casey

Dear Casey,

That is a very nice update and well before your self-appointed due date. How lovely to have made a new friend and a roommate all in one. I'm certain you will be very happy being so close by to everyone else. The convenience alone makes it a perfect choice and I know that if it already feels like a home to you now, that feeling will only grow the more you make it your own. As always, you only need to ask if you require anything, though I'm happy to hear the two of you are doing so well on your own already.

And certainly. I do get ahead of myself at times, you must forgive me. You need not think anymore of it. If a party would be too much for Hunter, then we must respect his comfort level above all else as it is his space too. Perhaps in the future at the some point, but truly, there is no need to stress over it. It was simply a thought that I had, of course. There are always plenty more parties to look forward to in the future.

Do not fret, Casey. I already know you will be a wonderful friend to him.

As to your earlier question, yes, I did know another Hunter previously, though he was quite different. Either way, I look forward to learning more about this Hunter, especially since he has become a dear friend to you.

I will let you decide when would work best for you. I certainly know the chaos of settling into a home and making it your own, so I do not wish to impose when I have already asked so much of all of you. I do not know for certain if there are Halloween-themed movies and shows, but I will do some investigation before our next movie night. I'm certain that if I ask Donnie for one, he will provide us with a very specific and detailed tierlist of Halloween-themed media to watch. Truth be told, we may need more than one evening devoted to this holiday.

Much love,
Rue ♥

[This letter was left on some visible surface in Rue's house after the TV was delivered.]

Dear Rue,

Thank you :) If you have any advice on how to decorate a place, I'd really appreciate it. Both me and Hunter are totally new to that kind of thing, turns out. We're just winging it so far. I am working on getting a printer I can connect to my relic and (more importantly) my mask, so I can have real copies of my digitals. That's the decoration I want most right now. I haven't seen a lot of real photos but I really like the idea of getting to hold them and put them up on a wall. If I get it working, I'd be happy to print pictures out for you too, if you'd want.

I was wondering, maybe we could test drive with the Halloween party? It's close to the end of the month anyway. If it's at your house, Hunter can decide if he's uncomfortable to just go whenever he wants. If we hosted a party, there's not really anywhere else TO go. Just a thought. But maybe he'll be fine. I'm not stressed, though! Not very stressed at least. There are some things I'm worried about for him, but I promised I wouldn't say anything, so instead I'll just say that with all you've done for me, I think he could use the same sort of kindness.

I'm not so worried about getting home set-up that I won't visit you, don't fret :) I'll come over soon, no imposition. I'm excited to learn more about Halloween, and to see you of course. We'll talk for real then.

Love,
Casey

[In the margins at the bottom, in a different coloured pen, there's a message scrawled hastily, I hope you like your present <3]

[It takes Rue just a touch longer to figure out what they would like to say. So much has changed between the last letter they received and now and it leaves them paused for a few beats before they finally put pen to paper.]

My darling Casey,

I read this letter and I hardly know how where to begin. So much has changed since you originally wrote it, but I hope you feel the same way that I do, that the changes have been for the better. It is exciting and new and I feel a touch nervous even picking up this pen again, but truly, it is in all the best of ways.

I know I said it many times that day, but thank you again for my gift. Between you and Leo and Donnie, I feel so spoiled as of late. And the sheer size of it! Now I pick up every detail of every show! I can not wait for our aforementioned family movie night. It will be a delightful time to spend all together. I only hope that we can all come to some agreement on what to watch.

A wall of photographs sounds so lovely, Casey. When you are able to set yours up, would you be able to help me with mine? I should like to frame a few photographs of all of us together for my cottage. That is the one thing that I am missing, photos of my friends and family.

If you are asking me to host a Halloween party at my home, then the only answer I will have for you is an astounding yes. I would love to! Especially if it would help ease Hunter into the idea of being around so many people at once, especially some who may not be as familiar as others. I will get started on decorations and catering immediately. Do you think there should be games? I think so. And prizes. Oh, and a costume contest too.

Is there anything I can help with in regards to Hunter? I have spoken to him a few times, but if you feel that he is need of a patented Rue motivational speech, I need at least a little preparation. You know that you need only ask and I would do anything for you. You mean such a great deal to me. Ask and it is yours.

(Within reason.)

Loving you dearly,
Rue ♥

To the best mom ever,

I can't believe I just wrote that :) No argument here, though. Change is usually scarier for me, and I guess it started out that way, but it's hard to remember how that felt now. I feel better than I have in months.

I'm looking forward to our first big movie night. I don't even care what we watch! So much is still new, and most of it is fun. (Though maybe not any period dramas. I don't understand half of what people say in those. Sorry!)

I've started the photo board! I got a printer and with Donnie's help, I was able to get everything connected, and have started printing. It works with the relic, too. Everything was digital in the future, so it's another new thing… it's nice to have copies I can hold, though.

Of course I'll help you with getting your photos! It might take a little time, but if you lend me your phone from the other world, I can get it connected and download those photos, too. (Or I can come over at do it at your place. I wouldn't blame you if you'd rather hold on to it. Just might take some time.) Any photos you want printed out from your relic, you should just be able to send them to me. I'll bring them next time I come over.

Wow, it's really less than a week till Halloween… is that enough time? Can I help with anything? I don't have a costume D: Is there anything I can do? I didn't think time would go by this fast. Feels like I blinked and it's been 3 months already.

About Hunter, I think if you just treat him like you treat anybody else, he'll be okay. We're both figuring out what 'normal' is, but you helped me so much just by talking to me, letting me ask questions and being kind. Any advice I could give would just be telling you to do something you're already good at. :) Though if you could help us BOTH get costumes for Halloween, I'm sure he'd appreciate it.

Love,
Casey

[Included are two printed photos; one is the selfie he and Rue had taken at the beauty salon in Tides, and one is a photo of future Leo and Donatello together, looking... well, very tired, but happy about something unknown. A much younger Casey is perched on Leo's shoulders- though it's more like he's sprawled, because he looks as if he fell asleep up there. There's a message written on the back:

this one is a secret, just for us. but I thought you might like to have it. I know they'd have loved you, too.]

[Let it be known that Rue reads that intro and immediately sets the letter down to just cry a few happy tears. They never knew such a title could mean so much to them, but here they are!]

To the best son ever in return,

I can not tell you how happy it makes me to know you feel so well, not just regarding you and I, but in general as well. You deserve all of the joy in the world and it makes me endlessly proud to watch you take strides to achieve that daily.

Nevermind then! I take it all back! I can not be friends with someone who does not enjoy period dramas!

(I am kidding, of course. :) We do not need to watch them together. I can on my own.)

Thank you! I do not mind giving you my old phone for a time. I have gone this long without these pictures before they were returned to me, another few days would be nothing. That sounds perfect. I will have to look through current photographs on my relic and send them directly to you. Perhaps along with your photo board, we should start a photo album of our family. That way we could include other things of importance in there as well, written notes and dried flowers and such. It could be quite special.

A few days away and no costume for either you or Hunter? Never fear, dearest, I will be over shortly then so we can plan something for you both. Otherwise, if you should like to bring snacks or help me cut out paper bats for decoration, I'd be grateful for your help. The finishing touches can all be completed the morning of, if you want to help me in the set up too.

And for what it is worth, thank you. I will do what I can to treat Hunter the same way that I have treated you. That should not be a problem in slightest. I am already very fond of him.

I shall see you shortly!
Rue ♡

[And then after that letter is finished, in a different color ink, Rue continues before they actually send this one out.]

An addendum, because it has been on my mind and I must tell someone. May I confess something to you, Casey?

I have asked Leo and Peter if they would like to be formally adopted by me as well and I am very nervous over them saying no. It would change nothing, of course, I love them so dearly, but I have just been fretting over it since.

Do you think that they might be hurt that I have asked? That they may think I am trying to replace the families they already have?

I do not mean to unload on you, but who could understand more than you? And I trust your opinion and your heart so completely.

I love you dearly. ♡

Dear Mom :) :) :)

I hope you're happy, too. You deserve it just as much if not more. I know you haven't gotten the answers you're hoping for, but when it was me, your patience and understanding made a huge difference. I'm sure they appreciate you not pressuring them the same way I did. And until (unless) you get an answer I'll do what I can to fill the void. I won't even brag about being the best son :P

I'm sending your phone back! Thank you for trusting me with it. I copied the photo directory to my computer, so I can print and send them over time. It's taking a surprisingly long time to go through it all! (Not yours, but both of ours combined) I've never done this before so I had no idea it was such a process. It'll be worth it when we have the ones we want in our hands, though.

I love the idea of a photo album. Back home there were many people whose photo books were their most cherished possession. On memorial days a lot of us would gather around and look through them, sharing stories about who they were and what their lives were like. Or sometimes we didn't know who they were, so we could only guess; the people who owned them had died, but we wanted to remember their families for them, if that makes sense. I think I'd like to have a book where I know all the stories.

Speaking of memories (sort of), I have a question. In your world is there a spell or potion that can let someone dive into the mind of another? At the Halloween party, Hunter mentioned his world had a potion that could do that, and I know back home there's a memory spell that can do the same thing. There's no purpose for the question or anything, I'm just amazed at how many similarities there are between worlds, even with how different they can be. (And you know I love to hear about magic.)

I'm starting school at the start of next week. First time ever! I'm really nervous, but I think it'll be okay. I hope so, anyway. I'm glad Hunter's going to be there. I definitely didn't want to go alone. Do you know anything about school? Anyway, wish me luck!

Love you,
Casey

[Included is a small package with Rue's cell phone, and a few randomly printed images (dealer's choice) from its photo collection.]

[And attached to this is exactly what they've discussed, a brand new photo album with a space to write Casey's name on inside cover. Rue's already included a few of their favorite shots of the family, most with Casey included, as well as a letter or two from their correspondence - the very tame, less dramatic ones - if he should like to include them too, and a dried flower from Rue's garden.]

My darling Casey,

I can not understate how deeply happy you have made me. It's true, I am still aflutter with nerves, but the reality is that the matter is completely out of my paws. If neither Leo nor Peter wish to discuss it further, the only thing I can do is continue to give them their space. And, if it does not exasperate them too much, remind them of how much they are loved and that I always am willing to talk more on it, anytime. Always.

Thank you, Casey. You have already been such a great support to me all through our friendship and beyond. Maybe what began as a writing exercise truly helped the both of us to learn to speak with one another honestly and openly, without the pretense of navigating a new friendship. I am forever grateful we began writing to one another and that we continue on now with it still.

Is it silly to say that it feels as if everything has changed and nothing has all at the same time? You are still the same caring, joyous, warm-hearted friend I have always known, but now when I think that you are my son too? I feel very foolish for how happy it makes me. But it does make me very happy. :)

Thank you again for these beautiful pictures! I am going to frame and place them all over my cottage, so that when my friends come over, I can point out my lovely family to them.

Yes, most potions do not dig deep enough into the mind, but there are some spells that do go much further, though it is a part of magic that would be considered taboo to be used without explicit permission. I had a very good time talking the differences between the Demon Realm and the Feywild with Hunter. If he ever wanted to talk more about magic - and you wanted to enjoy the conversation - you know that I would be happy to indulge.

My darling, you are going to do amazing in school. Text me every day to tell me if you've learned anything. And if you would like any special clothing made for school, I would be happy to get you whatever you need. A nice jacket and pair of slacks, perhaps? Something in the school colors? Whatever you like, you only need to ask. I have never had an experience in school myself, but I have seen them many times on television! I wonder if the depiction is very faithful. I want to hear all about it!

Sending all of the love,
Rue ♡

Dear Mom,

Thank you for the winter clothes! They're so soft and warm! I can barely feel the cold at all. I'm already putting them to good use. And thank you for the photo book! I'm going to fill it up fast with whatever I don't hang on my photo board. Speaking of, it's looking great so far. It's really nice to see it on my wall, especially when everything used to be so bare.

For the record, I don't think any of what you said is silly or foolish or anything like that. It IS different, even if nothing that technical has changed. I feel it too! Some days I wake up worried that it's all some crazy dream and I'll actually wake up back on Earth again. Having this new connection reminds me that it's real. So, thank you. Again. A million times!

I'll be sure to pass along the message to Hunter. And maybe encourage him a little more than usual to take you up on it. I would love very much to lurk in on any magic theory conversations you would be willing to share with me :) :) :) And if you ever need a test subject for spell demonstrations maybe, just maybe, I would be pretty OK with "helping". (Just not any mind-diving ones, though I don't think either of you are interested in trying that anyway. Them being taboo makes sense. The Krang could force themselves into the minds of people they captured and it was incredibly painful for them. But that's not magic, just... whatever else they were. The potions you made for the Halloween party were still weird but much softer.)

I've already texted you, like you asked, but of course I'll say it again- school is strange so far! Any lessons I got growing up were informal, whatever I could get when people were available, or sometimes self-taught lessons between a few of us kids. This is a lot more organized, and having a schedule for it makes sense. The class is small so it's not too intimidating to go. We can follow up on lessons, and I have homework now. I don't mind it, though. Some of it I already know thanks to Uncle Tello, and some is still new. It's amazing. I think I do like it. There's no uniform requirement or anything, but if you are looking for ideas, the school colours are grey and pink, and there's a mascot(??) of a wolf named Togo.

Love you!
-Casey

[Included is another set of randomly selected photos. At the very bottom of the set is a new one: Casey, in the snowy area of the school of Thoth, cheeks pink from the cold (and a little from embarrassment) as he holds out one hand as if carrying the school in the background. Under his coat he's wearing the new sweater, with the scarf and mittens, of course.]

My darling boy,

I can hardly believe it has been so long since our last written correspondence. But with the month we have had, I can hardly blame us!

It is such a strange feeling to go back to how things were. Almost surreal, I suppose, to be sitting in my home and know I can stroll right back down to the market as if we were not just fighting for our lives a week ago. But there is peace within me as well, the promise that no matter how difficult the trials of this land can be, we can always expect them to end. We never were given such relief back at ADI, so that feels like quite the blessing here.

Forgive me for the length of this letter, my next one will be filled with much more substance. Today I am just feeling contemplative.

The one thing that I am certain of, that remains unchanged no matter what trial we are facing, is that I love you endlessly, my son. I feel our bond has only strengthened as of late, to the point where I know nothing could ever tear us apart. You are mine as much as any owlbear cub could ever be. No one can change that.

Yours always,
Mom ♡

[The response comes pretty quickly. Evidently he's missed letters, too.]

Dear Mom,

It's been so long I forgot what we were talking about, even. It's okay, though. I think it's just nice to send letters again. Even if I see you all the time in person, it's weirdly relaxing to check the mail and find something from you there. The break was needed for sure, with all that was happening, but it's great to go back to normal, too.

I know how you feel about the lack of relief. The war never ended back home, even when there were lulls they could disappear at any time, and they never lasted long. The trial shook me up for sure, but it's nothing compared to how life used to be. Perspective counts for a lot, even if none of us deserve the old life or the trials. (It IS worth it, though. I haven't forgotten that.)

And maybe I'm a LITTLE grateful for it. Just a little. I'm not sure if or when I might've unlocked the owlbear familiar if not for the trial. Maybe my full potential is to get stronger or something. Either way, thank you for everything. I wouldn't be as I am now if it wasn't for you.

Love you,
Casey

My darling son,

I could not agree more! More than anything, it finally feels that things are back to normal now that we are once again writing one another. I did not even realize how much I was missing it until I was sitting down with my paper and ink and addressing an envelope with your address again. Let us hope nothing else puts these letters on hold for some time.

(That is a plea, Thirteen! All of us are most desperate for a break!)

Even after seeing it with my own eyes, I can still barely believe you have an owlbear form now. There just are no words to put to paper that could explain just how deeply that means to me. To be the same as you, for even just a moment, that will be a memory I carry on for the rest of my life. The way you trilled and chirped and the softness of your feathers - I must stop myself or I will never end this! But all of that to say that I love you so endlessly, my little cub, and my promise remains true: If you should ever like to explore more with that form, I am more than happy to oblige.

But truly, seeing your sweet human face will always be enough for me.

I can not wait to see you in the shop after school soon! Please bring Hunter and any other little friends you make.

Affectionately yours,
Rue ♡

Dear Mom,

I'll be saying it, too! Please, Thirteen, give us a break. You can push us towards our full potential or whatever at a more leisurely pace, maybe.

I know I told you already, but I do want to say again that I'm glad you like me being an owlbear for a little bit. I think if things had been less hectic I might have worried if I was infringing on something, I don't know. It's silly in retrospect. There wasn't even time to think about it, my instincts just told me to be huge and powerful and that's what I became. I had no idea I could change my size like that, though. I wonder if there are other things I could turn into. Maybe something more useful than a pangolin?

As for exploring it more, I'm all in. Is there maybe a day when you'll be at home instead of the shop, and I could stop by while you're free? Or maybe after you close up one day, we can take a walk and find a quiet place in the woods to practice. I don't think that beautiful store is a good place for a new owlbear to learn how to walk or use his claws :) I'll text you later, we can pick a day.

I'll let Hunter know and we can swing by after school a lot. We'll be together already so it wouldn't be any extra effort to go to the store after instead of going right home. We'll bring you snacks from the food carts too. Maybe Toph can come as well? She was thinking of going to the tech school too.

Love you love you,
-Casey <3

[Attached is a small flier for a Wintertime Holiday Party on December 24th, open to the public, at Hoot Couture.]

Casey my darling,

Trust me, little cub. You being an owlbear feels so extraordinarily special to me. A connection beyond even the one we already have. The chance to be the exact same, even if but for a moment, I feel as if we've reached an entirely new level of understanding of one another. And while I've never heard of any familiar form changing size, it does not surprise me that if anyone was to discover it, it would be you.

I love you endlessly and always. I must sound like a broken record at times, but I must say it or surely it will burst from me.

Truly, I so look forward to our Owlbear Training Sessions! It is no surprise that I have a great deal of practice living as an owlbear, but it will be quite fascinating to see what I managed to learn naturally and what was amplified by the fae magic that I was awakened by. Not to turn our sessions into research, but the results will be most interesting to see laid out in front of us.

Please! Invite Toph and any other friends the two of you make. I want all of you to feel welcome to come in at any time. What's mine is always yours. And you must spread the word of our holiday party coming up next week! A chance to celebrate as many holiday traditions possible with all of our friends and family.

Stay especially warm during these cold months! Whatever you are lacking in clothing, just let me know. I will not let any of my sons freeze before the spring returns.

And I love you, my perfectly brilliant boy,
Rue ♡

[This letter is delivered in person.]

Dear Mom,

Well as you can see I took you up on your offer. I hope our lesson went well. If it didn't, I hope you enjoyed the defeated cuddles. :) Either way, we'll get there.

I don't mind if the lessons are research. I'm learning from it too, after all. Make me your test subject! But you can't take blood samples, leave that in Donnie's corner.

Here are some things I did learn this week: one, I can understand Flapjack a little bit now! Hunter says that happens sometimes, if you're around a palisman enough. And two, I understand him a LOT better when I'm an owlbear. He thinks it's because we're both birds. He also thinks it's funny the way I talk as an owlbear, so maybe the noises I make aren't so coherent. Maybe I need to learn how to talk both ways… I have a lot to learn.

I'll tell lots of people about the party! It sounds amazing. Your parties are always great. I'll have to think of a holiday tradition to share, though. We never celebrated much but there were a few things I could say. There is one in particular, but I would need you or Hunter to help. It's a magic thing.

I'm well stocked for winter gear now, thank you! Maybe a hat? I'd like to keep my ears. That's all, though! The coat I bought (I definitely bought it!) is perfect.

Mom, I want to thank you again for supporting me. What happened at Kuma Lisa, I could never have handled it alone. I know that healing doesn't happen overnight, and like always I have a long way to go. But I can't express enough how much better everything is with you here to help. I said it before and I still mean it, I don't need a perfect mom. A mom who loves me is more than enough. I think about your promise and it helps so much.

Thank you, I love you,
Casey <3

[Attached with this letter is a set of five new beanies in different colors, so Casey doesn't have to set aside style for functionality.]

My darling boy,

It seems a touch silly to write when so much of my time lately has been spent with you, but let me get back on track with these letters.

I apologize if our lessons were maybe not entirely the most productive lessons possible, but I appreciate you listening to the worries of my heart while also giving me the space to process some startling new emotions. I still don't quite know how I feel about all of that mess, but I know how grateful I am that I was able to explore it with you by my side. I'm not entirely certain how it might have gone with someone else, or worse, if I had been alone.

Either way, I promise your next lesson will be much more fruitful. And trust me, I will not go easy on you. :)

Tell Flapjack to be kind my son or I will polymorph him into a tree frog. You are learning to speak in an entirely different language, which is already more than he can do! Some grace would be kind. I think you've done a fantastic job so far and you are only getting better.

If it is magic, you know I am happy to assist however I am able. You only need to say the word and it will be yours. Speaking of, are you still enjoying that enchanted jacket from my shop? The smell is still just as strong, isn't? The effect should be permanent, but yours was the very first one I ever did like that, so I only wanted to check in and see what I could improve upon.

[Rue's letters are normally very precise and perfect, not a letter or comma out of place, no uncertainty in their voice. But there's a freshness in the shine of the ink that suggests Rue magically erased this last section and rewrote it later.]

I can not thank you enough for trusting me, even if in that moment we were not given much of a choice. Please come to me with anything you ever need, Casey. You know there are no judgements between us, no details needed, no excuses to be made. I will accept you exactly as you are, just as you do for me. I only ever want your happiness, so to know I was able to help means everything to me. I love you endlessly and always.

Yours Forever,
Mom ♡

Dear Mom,

It's strange to think of this as the end of the year. (I don't even know what year it is, technically. I came from 2044, went to 2020, and now in this world it's a mystery. I guess I'll just call it Year 2 for those of us who started a new life here, does that make sense? Anyway.)

You know I'm always happy to listen to you, whatever it is. I feel honoured to hear it, actually. I feel very trusted. I know you would say it's a mother's duty to help their children in times of need or something like that, but I'm still glad for the chance to give back a little. You deserve to have a listening ear, too. For that you can always count on me, promise.

Bring your worst next time, though :)

Oh, I don't mean to get poor Flapjack in trouble. He's very supportive! But it is a little funny, so I don't blame him for laughing. It's a good natured kind of laugh. Can you really turn him into a frog though?

I forgot to mention it at the party but the strung magic lights were the one thing we were able to do sometimes in the future for Christmas. Master Michelangelo did it. So you had it done without me saying anything! It was perfect. The jacket is also perfect, and the smell hasn't gone away at all. I wear it almost every day, thank you.

[He has to really debate on the last section. There's a few dabbed ink spots where he'd tapped the paper for a while.]

Thank you for everything. I always know where to go when I need help. I wish it didn't happen as often as it did, that I could come visit you for only good things all the time. I know I'm going to keep on needing help over and over. I wish that ~~I wasn't~~ ~~I could~~ ~~you weren't~~ I didn't have to ask so much of you. Even if you don't think it's a burden, and even if I know I need it. It's still a bummer sometimes. So! I hope this coming year I'll be much stronger, and we can have more fun and fewer tears.

Love you, and thank you,
Casey

Happy New Year!!!

[Rue has added a few illusions of exploding fireworks against this parchment, fully soundless, just little explosions of ink along the top of the letter.]

To my darling youngest son,

What a year that has passed us by! I can hardly believe how quickly it has gone, but my heart is so very full at the idea that we shall enter this new one together, as a family.

It is so strange to think that this time last year, I was trapped in that awful place back in Massachusetts, with my Knickolas at my side, but otherwise absolutely alone. I was newly arrived and terrified, already so uncertain of my place back in the Feywild and now I had find a fit into another realm entirely! And the sudden pressure to use all of this new technology! It so often made my head spin!

There are not many reasons to bring up that sad place anymore, not when the four of us have been so lucky to leave it behind completely, but I will say only this: Those first few and the last final months there, I so often felt crushingly alone. Made to feel Othered and so frequently left behind. It was very difficult. I do not completely know how I made it through some of those wretched days.

But knowing now of the utter happiness that would take over my life, I would have suffered through that place a million times over if it meant I would end up here with all of you. I promise, this missive is not meant to be disheartening, I'm only trying to convey the full joy that you all make me feel. To think that I could go from my darkest place to this pure bliss, I never knew it was possible to be so happy.

Thank you.

Forgive me my tangent. I am feeling so contemplative with the turn of the new year.

As for Flapjack, do not doubt in my ability. I could absolutely turn him (or even you) into a frog or any other small animal at any moment. No one shall be rude to my son though, so tell him to behave or else.

Oh yes, the magic lights! I will keep that in mind for next year. Though Hunter and I had fun decorating the shop and Hob and I enjoyed fixing up the cottage, perhaps next year all of us can hang lights and decorate the tree together. (As long as I am allowed to have a tree up in my home next year. ;) )

Let me only say that tears are not a sign of weakness but a sign of strength. I know I have said in the past that feeling is a gift, and to feel so strongly about something you cry, means that your connection to that thing or person or event is just that impossibly strong to evoke such an equally strong emotion out of you.

So do not worry if you cry as much as you did in the previous year, darling - to be quite honest, I imagine I likely will too - because as long as we have one another, whatever tears we shed won't last for very long. I promise there will be more smiles and laughs right behind them. Last year, we spent a very great deal of time giving grace to others. I think this year, we should focus on allowing ourselves a little grace too.

Be extra kind to my Casey this year. I won't stand for anyone being hard on him, even himself.

You are my brightest joy always,
Mom ♡

Happy New Year, Mom :)

Looking back to last year is strange for me too. A year ago things at home were getting worse and worse. The resistance was losing people and resources too quickly. The Krang were more aggressive, I think they could tell we were weak. Sensei was determined as ever but with how he talked to Master Michelangelo, we could tell things were getting desperate. Sometimes I had dreams about how it was going to end for us. Would I die? Would I end up a Krang zombie? In the morning I'd think, hope! Always hope! Don't give up! But it got harder and harder. I never for a second imagined I'd end up where I am now. Growing up, having a whole new family, being safe, I didn't think it was possible.

I don't think it's disheartening to reflect on the bad stuff that happened. Maybe that doesn't mean as much coming from me (because sometimes I make it sound like I had nothing BUT bad stuff in the past) but I really believe it! I think it makes us who we are. Maybe if you hadn't felt like you didn't belong in the other America, you wouldn't feel as strongly about being accepted here. Maybe if I hadn't been scared of the future back home, I wouldn't be excited to actually HAVE a future now. I don't know. I could just be desperate to find good where there isn't any. I am young and naive. But I am also a ninja (even if I'm not a very good one) so I will try to hope. Always hope!

If you need forgiveness though, I forgive you, so please forgive me too. <3

And Flapjack is a perfect angel, he's done no wrong, let's not talk about frog spells anymore. I want to stay on his good side! For Hunter's sake. He's been nothing but kind to me.

Yes you can have a tree! Maybe I will help decorate it, even. Just show me what to do. But can we use the materials for something after? What bothered me was how they just got thrown out. You could do so much with a whole tree! I don't want to be a wasteful human :(

You make a lot of good points about crying. It's a hard thing because crying makes people uncomfortable, right? And talking about things that make us cry is also uncomfortable. We want to be good to those around us, but we want to be honest with ourselves, too. I guess a part of it is knowing your audience. I wouldn't want to cry around Donnie. But little cries with you or Hunter are safe, and I feel better after. I know it's a part of who I am. Giving grace to myself... well, it's kind of a new thing. I can try it out.

I'll do my best to be kinder to myself. Make sure to do the same to my mom, okay? :)

Love you,
Casey

My Casey,

I do not know if I've ever told you this before so plainly, but Casey, I so admire the strength of your heart. To have lived through so much, but to still remain so optimistic and hopeful and ready to support all of those around you - I have known those who have experienced a fraction of what you have who refuse to ever see even a sliver of light ahead of them.

It leaves me so proud of you, of the endlessly kind, generous, and hopeful young man you are growing up to be. When I am around you, the pain of the past never feels quite so heavy. You make the world better for everyone around you, just by being yourself.

You are forgiven. Always. I think after all we've been through and all we've made ourselves carry, we deserve a chance for a little forgiveness.

Oh, Casey! How gracious of you to allow me to have a tree. ;) (I am kidding, of course, but I know that is more difficult to translate in writing versus teasing in person.) Looking back, I don't know if I've ever experienced a winter holiday quite like the one we spent together. It is perhaps my new favorite memory of the whole family in this realm, all of you in your pajamas in my living room, sipping cocoa and watching every conversation get derailed into a new exciting tangent. Just thinking back upon it, my heart feels so full. Thank you so much for being a part of it.

As for the tree after, my Hob has taken to building as of late. I think he'll very much like to use the wood for woodworking, if that is acceptable fate. Speaking of, if there is anything you need in your apartment, you should ask him to make it. It'll be good practice for him, something to keep busy while I'm out at the shop most days.

Truth be told, giving grace to myself is not always my strongest talent either, but I will do my best, knowing that we are working on it together.

One last thing, if I may: Hob and I have decided remarry in April. Would you be in our wedding party? I can think of nothing that would make happier than to have you there by my side that day.

Endlessly Yours,
Mom ♡

Edited 2024-01-14 05:42 (UTC)

Dear Mom,

I've written and rewritten this like a dozen times now. I kept trying to think of how to go back to normal after everything, and I think that's the problem. I'm not ready to go back to normal. So I'm just going to write and do my best.

I'm sure it's no surprise that I've been thinking a lot about what happened in the institute. Going back to my world and that last day got me back into that mindset. More than that, those other versions of myself in the dreams kind of scared me. One you didn't meet was so angry at everything. Master Draxum called it my "pain and anger, roaming with no outlet". That I should shed more light on them if I don't like how they look. And I don't, so… maybe I need to work on that. Maybe I'm a lot less okay than I thought I was. Or I've gotten less okay the more time passes between then and now, instead of getting better. That's scary, too. That's not how it's supposed to go.

Hunter thinks I might have something called "survivor's guilt", so I'm trying to read about that. Feeling guilty for being alive instead of someone else, thinking there was something else I could have done, reliving it over and over- that was my whole mindscape. I don't know what to do with it yet, but it probably helps, being able to call it something. It was just a big mess of feelings before.

I'm sorry for dumping all of this on you. I just wanted you to know, if I'm not really myself sometimes, going forward, it's because of all this. I'm going to try feeling all my feelings more honestly. But please tell me if I act like a jerk. I don't want to do this in a way that hurts people.

I'm trying to focus on the good things, too. I learned a lot about other people. Helped some, I think. I have a Familiar bond now and it's really changed how Hunter and I talk. I got the new bird form out of it, too. And I did get a pin. So I don't have to go back there anymore. I got to see you when you were so cute and small :)

I'd like to do that thing we talked about before. Going a little wild. If you're up for it, I think it'll help. Maybe the owlbear can be my outlet.

Next letter I'm going to talk less about me. That's a rule I'm putting down! But thank you for reading all of this. About your wedding, of course I'll be part of it. Whatever you want me to do, I'll do, just say the word.

Love you always,
Casey

My Little Cub,

You know that I would never speak dishonestly to you. For as long as we have known one another, deceiving you in any capacity is just simply not an option for me. I could not bear it, even if a lie can sometimes be far kinder than the truth.

I think that we must stop thinking of the Before as a normal we must return to again. To speak most plainly, what was Before is no longer attainable. You and I have been irrevocably changed and continuing to think that we can simply go back is setting the both of us up for much disappointment.

I apologize, first and foremost, if saying such a thing feels cruel, my Casey. I do not mean it cruelly, but I could not blame you for reading it that way. I hope that you can forgive me for the truth I must speak.

Recovery is not black and white. Often, there are more lows than highs, more terrible days than happy ones, more intense stretches of pain compared to the weeks when it feels easier to breathe again. You are not falling behind in your recovery or failing yourself, you are simply in a difficult stretch. And that's okay, my love. It's alright if in the aftermath of that mess you feel the weight of how much you've been repressing in the past. If you feel betrayed by the world, by us, or even by yourself, you are allowed to express that pain, to be heard even if it feels cruel to speak aloud.

None of us have come to one another unbroken by the lives we've lived. Though our trauma is different, we all still hurt and grieve. It doesn't make us less than who we are. So even now, even at what may feel to be your lowest point, you are still yourself, Casey Jones. And as your mother, I love every inch of you, both on your best days and your worst. You know that I only ever wish for you to live authentically. Feelings were meant to be felt, feel them freely, express them how you need to, and know that no matter what, I will be right by your side.

I have a friend I would like you to speak to, if you would be willing. It would require some trust and honesty from you, but I've learned that having an outlet with someone trained who is not family can be very important to healing the heart. Think on it, do not deny me this without giving it thought first. I ask because I see the value and help it could bring to you, not as a punishment.

You will do no such thing. I always wish to hear about you. What is the purpose of letters from my son if I do not get to hear all about him?

My love eternally,
Mom

PS. Such a thought still terrifies me, but I would follow you anywhere. Let me know when and where and I will be there to try being wild with you.

Dear Mom,

If it's cruel, it isn't because of you. Don't need to forgive that. It does freak me out, I won't lie. The idea that we can't go back to how things were isn't new to me, but it's always been the worst case scenario in the past. It isn't the worst here, but that's kind of how it starts. Goes from bad to bad to bad and suddenly it's the worst it can be. That's scary. Irrational, yeah. But I'm feeling those feelings like you keep saying I should.

A lot of what you said makes sense, I guess. I have some thinking to do. "Betrayal" might be a good way of putting it. I got used to the peace of this world, started to depend on it because I've never felt it before. And then the fae attacks broke that, now all of this… kind of feels like the world is telling me I can't feel safe. I know that's not right (irrational again) but my instincts keep going haywire. It's hard to make that stop.

I'm really, really glad we have you, though. I don't know what I'd do without you. I know I've said it before but I mean it- knowing I'm loved makes everything a little easier. That you love me for being me, and that you're okay with who I am and how I love you. I don't know. It just helps so much. I hope you don't feel too discouraged when you can't fix what's wrong with me. Whatever you do, it does make me better.

I thought about meeting with your friend. I'm not sure if I'll be able to do it, to trust and be honest with someone I don't know, especially about this stuff, but I do trust you, and if you think it'll help, then I'll try. I'll talk to them.

I know you put it in the PS but I'm moving it here because it's important. Do you not want to do the wild stuff anymore? It's okay if you don't. If you're scared you don't have to! I don't want to ask you to do anything you won't like. I bet Hob would go. Or maybe April, she seems like she was really into it when she found her familiar form. Please don't push yourself past your limits for me, I do have options.

Valentines is tomorrow... my first one ever. Thank you so much for your help with the outfits. Just like everything you make, they're wonderful. I hope you have an amazing day with Hob, you deserve it and more. (And if he messes anything up, let us know so we can bully him.)

Love you, love you,
Casey

My wonderful boy,

Hear me when I say I do not know who I would be today if I did not have you. I am so grateful that if we must experience all of this, that I am experiencing it with you, someone I trust with my heart completely. The world might be cruel at times, but it also led us to one another, and for that I will always believe that goodness prevails in the end.

And though I am aware you already know how I feel, Casey, I will tell you a hundred times over how loved you are. I love you more than my favorite dresses, my favorite tea, even more than the peonies that have taken over my garden. I love you more than my Hob loves his tiny waffles and more than Leo loves Jupiter Jim. I love endlessly, through every up and down and inbetween. Nothing brings me more joy than knowing I will get to remind you of that love for every single day of the rest of our lives.

Let it be said that you are not broken and neither am I. We are hurt but whole and always healing. Thank you for agreeing, my love. It is something to try, to talk to someone with experience discussing these things. If it does not work or you feel uncomfortable, I will not force you to continue, but just trying would mean the world to me. I will arrange it all.

Thank you. You know more of why such a thing frightens me, but I would like to try. I promised you and I feel there is some power to be felt in going wild while still remaining in control of myself. Just be patient with me, I am very inexperienced.

I am so glad you had such a wonderful holiday. The first of many, I promise. I hope you enjoyed your gift. :)

I love you wildly,
Mom

Edited 2024-02-20 07:04 (UTC)

Dear Mom,

I've been thinking a lot about all you've said. That we have each other, that we trust each other, that good prevails even if things are hard right now. It reminds me of sensei. You remember in the dream, those were some of the last words he ever said to me? That hope is a ninja's greatest weapon. I've said it before, but seeing him again, and hearing something similar from you, really hit it home for me. I mean, obviously it's not just for ninjas. It's for all of us.

It was months ago, but I remember thinking one time when I was with you, that hope might be the greatest weapon, but love is the greatest shield. What damages us hits a little less hard when we love. All of what you said, loving this and loving me more than whatever else we have here, I agree, I feel the same. I never had much stuff growing up, but I had a lot of love. I was so lucky then. I'm lucky here.

I want to try and remember that part of my world again. I hate that so many people have seen it now, because I don't want to be pitied for how I grew up. But at the same time, it kind of makes it easier, because now they understand me better. Maybe. I don't know. Sorry, this letter is kind of rambling. What I'm trying to say is, that mindscape showed how I existed, but not how I lived. I wish it'd shown more love. It was just at the end… Sensei and Master Michelangelo loved me, so they saved me. Out of everyone, I'm the one they picked. So I should try and remember mostly that.

Just tell me where and when, for this friend of yours. Maybe I'll copy some of these thoughts down. They might make better sense of all this.

We can try being wild, okay. If you really want. Just promise you'll tell me to stop if you don't like it or it scares you.

Let's try to brighten these letters up next :) I can't believe you kept those gifts a secret so well! I didn't suspect a thing, but me and Hunter having the same matching ideas… you're amazing as ever. Thank you, I loved the gifts, and they all looked perfect together. All that said, Valentines was wonderful. The holidays were nice before but there's something kind of magical about it being one on one. I want to celebrate more and more, year after year. I want life to keep being exciting in good ways.

Love you forever,
Casey

My darling son,

You impress me more each and every day, Casey.

I know it is not always possible to focus solely on the very best of our pasts, but taking the time to hold those special memories close is a wonderful idea. You were raised up in such boundless love, even living through the very worst of your world could never erase that. Their love has marked you forever, just the same as yours has marked them. Even now they are warmed by it, like I imagine you are whenever you think back on those most happy and loving memories of your family.

Just the same as I feel whenever I think of you calling me 'mom'. Or the first time you allowed me to hold your hand. Whatever happens, nothing will ever make me forget how I felt in those moments. Those feelings of love persist, beyond distance, beyond even death. Wherever they are now, your family still feels every bit of that love shared with you.

And please, you already know I would listen to story after story of them. You do not even need to ask. Just sit me down and start speaking. I will be enthralled in mere moments.

Thank you, dear. Even if it does not work out with him in the longterm, I imagine that he'll be able to give you tools to use on your own in the future. So thank you, for agreeing to try. I will not ask for updates, but if you would ever like to tell me about it, you know I would want to hear everything.

And I will, but sometimes we have no choice but to finally face our fears. Perhaps soon. I will think on it more.

:)

What kind of mother would I be if I ruined the surprise? I am so glad I was able to keep it from both of you and that it was such a wonderful time. There's at least a dozen more holidays to celebrate together in the future, some that even I have never heard of! Within no time at all we will be closing in on our first anniversary of arriving to this world and finding one another. Perhaps that can be a holiday all of our own, a special day for you and I to do something just for us.

I do not know what, but I imagine with the two of us planning, it shall be quite the event!

Love you forever and then some,
Mom

[The letter is paired with a small delicately cushioned package containing four blue feathers, two long, two short.]

Dear Mom,

Thank you for everything you sent before. I feel a little better, these days. There's still plenty of stressful things coming, but I'm starting to get better at managing how I feel, I think. (I guess I'll find out the next time things go wrong. But hopefully not for a very long time!)

I've been wondering... do you really think love can reach even people who are gone? It's a nice sentiment. It's kind of how Hamato ninpo works. I don't know if Leo or anyone has ever explained, but they're all connected directly to their ancestors. They can reach out through ninpo and borrow the power of those who died. Master Michelangelo could speak with them and learn from them, too. It's a very "powered by love" vibe. It would be neat if our voices reached the ones we loved like that. Or even just how we feel. I'd like to believe it, anyway.

I'll have to think of more stories. There's so many I never know where to begin. Not a bad problem to have, though.

I don't mind if you ask, you know. Probably whatever I talk about with him, I can talk about with you. For right now everything is a little overwhelming, though, so I want to go slowly.

It's crazy to imagine it's already past six months since we got here. So much has changed. I wonder what we'll be like when a year rolls by? (Maybe a little taller?) I'd love to celebrate that anniversary, though. Just for us sounds really nice. I met a lot of people that day, but after everything that's happened, our meeting was the most important to me.

Mom, I want to thank you again for your help with Hunter. I know you would have helped anyway, since he's your son too, but even so. The truth is, we had a fight on Valentines, and I really felt the stress then. (We worked it out, but we'd never fought before. I didn't know fights with words could be just as scary as the ones with weapons.) I wish I hadn't let him wait so long, but hindsight only helps so much... in the end though, we really needed you and just like always you were right there. I'm so grateful. I think after all this serious stuff is done I'd like to take a week and just goof off. No drama! I'll climb more trees. Play DDR. If anyone asks me to be mature I will come over and hide under your bed. Tell them you didn't see me! (I'm kidding. Unless...!)

I'm sure you've noticed the feathers by now. I have a request. The body for the Golden Guard is almost done, but Draxum had an idea that got me thinking. We're going to use an ingredient from Hunter's world to let the robot breathe. So he can at least experience some aspect of actual life. Can you put one of your shop enchantments on the feathers to help him feel more? The long ones are for the wings, so I was thinking maybe the feel of a nice breeze. The little ones go on his head, and I wasn't sure, so I thought I'd leave it up to you. A warm sun? A nice smell? Whatever you think is best.

Love,
Casey

[Attached with the letter are the feathers returned, enchanted as asked, the long ones do indeed give off the feeling of a light breeze against the face and the others a lazy, perfect warmth against them, as if stretched out beneath the sunshine.]

My wondrous boy,

I'm so proud of you, my Casey. Sometimes the most arduous part of experiencing something as terrible as you did is simply being able to come out on the other side. To acknowledge that things do get better, even if there is still some lingering fear of the future. But you are doing spectacularly, my love, and whatever Thirteen brings next, I hold no doubt in my heart we shall all make it through stronger on our own and together.

Always.

As for your question, to speak plainly, I do. Have I told you much about how the fae pass on? I know that death is of a far greater consequence for mortals, but it is very different back home. The fae do not truly die, they just become something else, a new spirit born in an entirely different body. I have heard of fae becoming trees or flowers or shells on the shore, but the essence of who they were lives on, as do all of the feelings they ever felt. I would like to imagine it is the same for those in other realms as well. Even if they do not become fresh blooms or rushing rivers, that who they are lives on with all of their essences intact forever.

It is why I know they are always watching over you. If it were me, no distance could keep us apart. I know it is the same for them.

Slowly is just fine, dear. All of this will be at your own pace, I promise. And if he ever tries to push you harder than you are ready for, you only need to tell me and I will set him straight so fast his head will spin.

Fighting with loved ones can be terrifying, but I'm proud of you and Hunter for working through such fear. And of course, my love. I would be there for any of you always. Always. It is such an honor to be your mother, Casey. That being said, I am happy to aid in your stress-free week! Please feel free to come hide under my bed as often as you like. Perhaps I will close the shop a few days and we can simply watch movies on the couch all day long. I'm certain Hob will treat us both to every sweet under the sun. We won't have to get up for anyone!

I've returned the feathers, freshly enchanted. I hope these are just what he needs. I can not wait to see him again.

Love forever and ever,
Mom

Edited 2024-03-03 07:11 (UTC)

Dear Mom,

Thank you. I'll try to keep it up. I've got the support of everyone, so I don't have much excuse to fail! I'll keep moving forward.

It sounds kind of like reincarnation. I've heard of that before, though I don't know much about it, or believe in it, really. It sounds kind of cool, though? Becoming something else. A part of nature maybe, with your feelings living on... Maybe that's why pretty scenery sometimes makes people cry? :) I wonder what I'd turn into when I died, if I was fae. (Not for a long long time, though!)

It'd be nice if they could watch over me across dimensions. If I was Hamato by blood, and still in my timeline, I could talk to them for real. I'm not sure how it'd work back in the past. I think I'd be afraid to try. What if they weren't there? What if it didn't work at all? I'm not sure which would feel worse. (But what if it DID work? What would I say? Would I be able to let go again?) Both are messy! Being adopted is tough sometimes. Like, I know I'm loved and part of the family, but some of the rules are different.

Ugh, I guess I really do have a lot more work to do. All of that was such a bummer to read back! For once I don't feel rushed, though. Back home we never had time for this, we went mission to mission and tried not to think about it. It worked until it didn't. Doesn't work like that here, either. I've got a big backlog of mess to work through... just thinking about it makes me feel tired! I want to get better, though. Feeling hopeful that I can. That's new.

I think I'd like to spend more time napping on that nice velvet :) Falling asleep listening to you working sounds nice actually. And I'd love to have a movie weekend or something with you! Nothing but relaxing and whatever silly films we can find. Let's watch some stuff that makes us laugh. We could all use more of that.

Thank you for the feathers, they're perfect. The bird's body is done now. Hunter loves it, the guard seems to approve of it, too. We can do the ritual whenever Master Draxum is ready. I'll be so glad when this is finally over!

Love you, love you, love you,
Casey

My very heart,

Let me assure you, my darling boy, if you were ever to pass on as a fae, you and I would be fated to remain together forever. Our hearts are too wound together to ever untangle, so of course our spirits would need to rest with one another. Perhaps our new lives would be a pair of flowers stretching up to the sky or two strong trees, who would dance in the breeze! Truth be told, the what hardly matters as long as you and I were together. Though all of this is quite silly to imagine, isn't it?

(But I agree most ardently. Not for a long, long time!)

Oh sweetheart, I can not imagine how you feel and I wish more than anything I had the answers you seek. Would you like to speak more about it together with me? To talk about what you might say to them? What you'd like to hear back? You know I would want to hear all of it, your every thought and worry and hope. And perhaps, not knowing for certain if they can hear you in this realm or not, you may still find some relief in the words being shared aloud with someone.

But that is up to you, my Casey. :) I love you and respect whatever choice you make. Just take your time. Of everything I have learned in this place, one of the most important realizations has been that you and I and everyone else has been given so much time. Time to heal and to grow and to keep trying.

Velvet it is! I may have a gift for you the next time you visit the shop. :) Come over and I will tuck you in for a nap while I work. I admit, I love my shop dearly, but it is never so wonderful as when you boys are over visiting. Even if you are busy with homework in the corner, just having you there, hearing your voices in the background, it brings me so much joy. So come nap anytime! I will put up a curtain for naps even!

Soon, my love. Soon.

You make my every single day better, little cub,
Mom

Edited 2024-03-12 06:27 (UTC)

Dear Mom,

I think if I had a choice I'd rather be a fae tree. Flowers don't live very long, right? But trees can go for years and years. I'd still want to stay with you for a long time! (I am going to stop talking about theoretical dying now, though. It's kind of morbid even for me. I just think the fae thing is neat.)

I'm not sure what to say or think about, re: the Hamato spirits… I'm not sure what I would say. To sensei at least I'd want to yell at him a little for not planning to go with me, for sending me alone even if he didn't have much choice. But then I would forgive him, and thank him for saving me. I'd want him to know that I'm safe and happy. I would ask if it's okay to call him dad. I don't know what else… I don't know if I should let myself think about it. It would hurt a lot if no one answered. I guess all of that is a start, though. The rest might just come naturally if I meet him again.

Hey, Mom… you worry about being a good mom for us, don't you? If you're doing right by us or are enough. Sometimes we mess up and hide things, or you're not 100% perfect and second-guess yourself. I've seen it here and there. I want to tell you, sometimes I go back and re-read a bunch of your letters when I'm feeling low. All your kindness and encouragement in the months since we met have made me feel so much stronger than I would be otherwise. You coddle us when we need it but you still give us plenty of space to grow up. I think you're an amazing mom, and you're only getting better at it.

Thank you again for the robe. It makes me really happy to wear it. I laid it out on my bed the other day and it almost felt like sleeping at your shop. It made me think actually, maybe I could get Hunter a sewing machine for his birthday? He seems to really like it. Then our apartment would feel like your shop sometimes on days we don't go :)

With love,
Casey

Casey my most darling boy,

Pray, forgive me for the lateness of this letter. How time has gotten away from me so often as of late! To you and to you alone I will solely admit that running the shop, taking so many orders, and planning a wedding all at once is almost more than this old owlbear can handle alone. I thought it would be nothing for a professional like myself, but I'm clearly out of practice. To think it's been an entire year since I last planned a wedding. I used to plan for multiple events at the same time!

But that being said, I'm enjoying myself, even if my perfectionist side is peeking out just a touch more than I'd like. I just have to keep reminding myself this is a casual affair, for family and friends, it does not need all of Faerie's over-the-top opulence.

What about writing them a letter? You could get out every thought and feeling out onto paper for your sensei and the rest of the family, all in one place, so that when the day comes that you see them again, you will have all you want to say prepared and you don't have to spend every moment until then carrying it inside of you. Letters have become such an important part of our relationship and so therapeutic too, it might help to organize your thoughts. Writing to you always helps me with my own.

[It's not very much, Rue is not an artist in any sense, they just have a keen eye for design and fashion, but between paragraphs in this letter, it is clear they paused to take in their son's kind words of encouragement, and while they paused, they drew miniature versions of them and Casey holding hands, little stick arms and hands, smiling brightly and wearing scribbled flower crowns.]

I am touched that you would say such a thing.

I do worry, but I also know such worries are illogical. I can not say that I have any real experience with mothers and how they should or shouldn't act, but the love I hold for you boys is stronger than the fae magic that gave me life. Love that powerful can not be wrong. Even if I make mistakes or fail in saying the wrong thing, there is no doubt in my heart that I am your mother and those bonds between us can never be broken.

That being said, I would very much prefer if I was the perfect mother, but I assure you that I'm doing my best and I will always keep growing to be the parent you all deserve. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your life. Nothing has ever made as much sense to me before.

I'm so very happy that you enjoy the robe, little one. :) In truth, I was thinking of getting him one for his birthday the last few months, would you like to find the perfect one together?

With endless love,
Mom

Dear Mom,

You should take time off! Close the shop, delay orders that don't have a time limit. Spend more time on yourself! You don't want to feel overloaded on your wedding, right? And whatever you think you still need to finish, let us help! Instead of having people come in, we can do deliveries, so you don't have to spend so many hours in the shop! I'll do anything to help. If you don't ask, I'll just bully my way in and do it anyway, so you'd better put me to work :)

You're right that it doesn't have to be super fancy. Only as fancy as you want it to be! So if you want to go crazy, then definitely go crazy, even if it's only for a small group. Have a wedding you'll be satisfied with after it's over.

Writing a letter is a really good idea, so thank you for that. It's sure helped me get my thoughts across in all the letters we've written, to the point where sometimes I feel bad about all the info-dumping I've inflicted on you. (I know you don't mind, but I still want to be self-aware enough to say it. Whether or not I'm capable of stopping is another thing.) I started working on some. Or more like, I started, then restarted, then restarted… it's harder to get my thoughts straight. Maybe because I don't know for sure if they'll ever see it or hear it… you'd think that would make it easier. Low pressure, you know? I'll keep working on it, though. It's better than the alternative, whatever that might be.

I think the love of a mother can be different, depending on the mother giving it. From what little I remember of my bio mom, her way of showing love was a lot different from how you show it, but I craved it just as much as I do now with you. You couldn't possibly be more different, but I loved her, and I love you, all the same. Anyway, you've been an official mom for a long time now, so you have SOME experience at least. You've seen what works and what doesn't. We're all learning together, that's okay.

I'm so glad to have you in my life, too. I'm not a perfect son, but I'm happy to be imperfect together. What matters most is that we're happy. And I am, so that's plenty.

It makes SO much more sense for you to be the one giving him a sewing machine! I don't even know where I'd start looking for what's good or not… searching for one together is an amazing idea. I'm all in :)

Love you always,
Casey

[The letter is accompanied by a couple of little sketches, one of Rue solo, one with them and Hob, another with them and a little owlbear cub. Not the most advanced art, but he's clearly been practicing hard the last several months. They come with a little post-it:]

I did these during my day off, Hunter agreed art didn't count as work :) I might try to use them for painting practice later. it's a lot better than leaves glued on paper!

Darling,

You drive a hard bargain. As tempting as it is to keep doing things my own way, I know that would only force you into bullying, so I will graciously accept some help. But even then, only a little. And only on evenings you do not feel overwhelmed with schoolwork. I don't want to interfere with your studies, your schooling is so important to me and I would never forgive myself for ruining that for you.

But thank you for the offer. Truly. I do not know what I would do without you in my life, and I am so very grateful I shall never have to find out.

As difficult as it may be, as you have seen in all of our practicing with letter writing and flower crown making, most things start off hard and get easier with time. It's in the repetitions, the repeated motions of your pen gliding over the paper, soon enough all of your thoughts will spill out like ink across your paper, instead of having to spend the time overthinking every single one. Just continue to give yourself that grace we spoke of. Eventually, writing to them will be as easy as writing a letter to me. :)

(Is that a fair assumption to make? That writing to me is easy? I certainly hope I am not too far off in that belief. For me, there is no one I could write more sincerely with than you.)

I suppose I have been your official mother for some time now, haven't I? It's so strange to me, how it feels as if I've only just met you and that I've been your mother forever all at once. I have been a parent for a mere comma in the life of a fae, but it has been the happiest and proudest months of my long life. I have held acclaimed titles, been the emissary of joy for every fae across Faerie, but none of that has ever compared to the joy of being your mother.

You are my everything,
Mom

Do not dare insult my favorite piece of artwork, Casey Jones. Though I love these beautiful sketches, I will defend your leaf paper until the day I die!

[When Rue opens this letter, a whole pile of rainbow glitter falls out. Just a heap of it. It gets everywhere.]

Dear Mom,

APRIL FOOLS!

Do you know this holiday? I read it on a calendar and had to look into it. It's all about pranks and jokes. It's pretty silly. So here is the prank! This isn't a real letter. It's just glitter. April Fools!

Love,
Casey

PS: I'll send a real letter tomorrow.
PS PS: I think you can just magic the glitter away, but if not, let me know and I'll come over and clean it up.
PS PS PS: If it makes you feel better, I got glitter all over myself putting this together, so I guess I pranked myself at the same time. Also Hunter. Also the couch.

Dear Mom,

Here is a real letter, I promise. Any glitter included in this envelope is purely accidental.

I don't think it'll get in the way of schoolwork. Definitely won't ruin a thing :) I do still have to catch up after spending so much time on the bird bot, but I think that's going well since a lot of it is coding, and I can do that anywhere. If I bring my laptop to your shop, I can let it compile some code while we work together. (If Donnie hasn't filled you with tech terms already, that just means I tell the computer to do some work for me on its own.)

Giving yourself grace is harder than it sounds, turns out. I started a few letters again. I've gotten further than before. I think I'll wait until after the wedding, though. Between that and school and the stuff with Hunter and the guard, I'm thinking about too much to really get my thoughts together. It's okay to let it wait for a while, I think. I know where they are, and it's not as if I know how to get there yet. Or if I ever could.

It's very fair to assume writing to you is easier! And accurate. I think it was hard at first, because I didn't know how to write by hand, or how letters worked, and I didn't know you that well. It definitely got easier over time, the more letters we wrote to each other. Now it's been eight months (wow!) and it feels almost like nothing could be easier. The words come to mind and my hand knows how to write every word. I can't write fancy the way you do, but I think it's more legible than it used to be :)

You've been my mom for 5 months and 10 days! Not that I'm counting. (I am counting a little.) Slightly longer than a comma in a human's life. I'm glad it makes you happy, either way. Looking back, it's amazing how much better everything is, and so much of that is thanks to you.

All my love,
Casey

My very happiness,

It is the night before my wedding and I am surprised by the calmness I feel. I thought I might be more nervous tonight, a flutter of raw nerves and old uncertainties rearing up, but in their place, I feel peaceful. I feel ready. I did not think I would ever be able to face marriage again after what happened, but I trust him. And more than that, I trust you and the other boys. Whatever happens, I will not have to face it alone again. And knowing that gives me a strength I've never had before.

Will you stand with me while Hob and I exchange vows? Just in case I should like to take your hand?

Now, enough of that. Back to the topics of our previous letters.

I'm endlessly proud of you for making so many attempts at writing to your sensei. Please know, darling, that every attempt is a success, simply for trying. Even if you are not able to finish the letters properly, you are still getting those important feelings and thoughts of yours out onto paper.

Every single time will get easier. I promise you that.

Eight months! I imagine we have so many letters written just between the two of us that we could wallpaper one of my living room walls, don't you think? That is so many sentences, so many words, so many letters - and more than anything, so many honest feelings. I would say you're an old pro by now, Casey. No matter my experience in letter writing, neither of us would have gotten anywhere in this endeavor if you had not been courageous enough to open up to me. So give yourself some credit, darling. :) More than just your handwriting has improved!

And I will be your mother for so so SO much longer. :) Please keep counting, that is another anniversary we will be able to celebrate together.

My love for you is endless,
Mom

Dear newly wedded Mom,

I'm sorry it's been so long. I kept looking at your last letter and wanting to respond but after you-know-what I think my heart needed a break from letters. Even good letters. But I miss them and hearing from you, so here I am, wiping the slate clean! I don't want to talk about any of that. At least not here. Still processing a lot.

I know I must've said it a hundred times already, but your wedding was amazing :) Thank you for having one, it made my first one extra special. I'm so glad it went so well, and that you were able to find peace and the happiness you deserve. I'm glad he has your trust, and he'd better love you more than you can ever imagine or else he'll be in big trouble!

And of course you already know the answer, but I'll always stand by you no matter what. In weddings or out.

Now that it's been so long and I know how to write better, do you think I could learn to write curly letters like you? I've tried to copy it a little but it's harder than it looks. I don't think I'll be able to learn it through guesswork. But it does look really fancy, doesn't it? Like a whole other language.

I'm counting and counting! We've got a whole pile of birthdays coming up, party-wise, but after all of that, we can have an anniversary day just for us, maybe :)

Love you love you,
Casey

My darling son,

I know I have given you my thanks a dozen times over, but thank you again, for your support and your love. And simply for being at my side the whole day long. My heart is still aflutter from the love I received from all of you. That day will remain with me in picture perfect clarity for the rest of my life.

It may have been the first wedding you attended but hardly the last! You will be able to experience weddings and so much more, I have no doubt.

Oh! Cursive? Casey, I would be so utterly delighted to teach you to write as I do. Can we make plans this week? I will set up a lesson plan immediately! We will need parchment and pens and plenty of scratch paper. Perhaps a notebook even, for practice! Or a chalkboard...

Soon. :) Let us get through these next few birthdays first and then we will celebrate.

I love you, my Casey. And I am endlessly proud of you. Always.

Forever and Always,
Mom

Dear Mom,

A wedding should be memorable, right? Something so good you never forget! But if you really want picture perfect clarity, I have lots of photos :) I'll be printing them out, so if you know anyone who has photos as well, send them to me! I want to put them all together.

I wonder who else would get married. I bet Leo and Peter will one day, but they're probably a few years off from that. I don't know other adults well enough for more, I don't think. But I'd love to see more! Weddings are nice. Everyone looked so happy that day.

Cursive is the word! Thank you. I'm a little late, but I think I can get everything except scratch paper (because I don't know what that is) and a chalkboard (because I don't know if I can get one that is travel sized??). Maybe we could meet up on a non-school day before you open the shop? We can go shopping, have a first lesson, and I can practice in the corner while you work. :) How about Monday?

Love you, love you,
Casey

My darling,

Oh please, my Casey. I would be so grateful to see all of your photos! Though I adore the photographs I have of our previous wedding, for Knickolas' sake, I would like to put the past behind us, and focus instead of our present. And our future. Which means a lot of reorganizing my current photo albums. :) So your help would be much appreciated.

Peter and Leo have some time to wait, but there are quite a few couples in Folkmore who are either planning for their weddings or are quite close to being engaged. I hope that we won't have to wait very long for the next one. :) Truthfully, as fun as my own was, it will be a relief to simply attend and party!

Forgive me, dear, I only mean some extra paper for practicing on, normally one of lesser quality than the paper we write these letters with. As for the chalkboard, leave it to me. I will find us something we can use! As for Monday, I accept. :) I won't go as easy as I do during our owlbear lessons though, so you better come prepared!

I love you endlessly, my son,
Mom

[This letter is written in... cursive! A very clumsy, careful, and slow cursive, which probably makes it easier to read but also weirdly mechanical-looking. He's still practicing.]

Dear Mom,

I needed a new project! (Not really but I'm doing it anyway. Bumped to the top of the list! Only the best for the best mom.) If you need help reorganizing the rest, just let me know. For now, leave the wedding photos to me. <3

More weddings would be amazing, yes! If you hear about one that's kind of open like yours, I'd love to see it. We sure have a lot of parties in this world, huh? Between our own and Thirteen's. It's amazing we still have energy for dancing and stuff. My closet is getting stuffed full of fancy clothes.

We should plan a party for you, just to get a feel for how much work it is, and how much you do for everyone. I know it wouldn't be a match for your work, but I'm curious to see if we could pull it off. Between all of us, I'm sure we could make something fun for you!

...This is hard :( but it's good to learn :) I'll keep practicing.

Love you,
Casey

Casey, my son,

Well! What an eventful weekend it has been! I will not lie, Peter's disappearance, no matter how brief it may have been, shook me to the very core for those awful few days he was gone. But I am so beyond grateful he's returned, even with the new terrible hurt he carries.

I don't know what we might have done if he hadn't come back to us... Or what we might do if one of you other boys ends up leaving without a word.

But I did not begin writing this letter just to air my lingering worries.

Thank you, Casey. For thinking of me in the midst of that mess. For wanting to celebrate such an important piece of me. It does not matter that we found one another so late into our lives, being your mother is the very best thing I've ever done with my life. So thank you. Always. I will continue to do my very best for you and the other boys.

I will admit, the idea of you boys throwing a party without my assistant tickles me greatly! But knowing myself, I doubt I could just sit by and simply watch. Perhaps some time, one day in the future.

Also my darling, please look back at the first few pages of your cursive training notebook and see how much improvement you've made already! I think you may be surprised!

See you soon, my wonderful son,
Mom

Dear Mom,

I think Peter is going to need a lot of reassurance for a while. I'm sure you've got it covered, but I didn't want to miss saying something just in case… are there other ways to create bonds between people? Like the fae bond, something that could get in the way of people vanishing. I don't know. Maybe it's stupid to think we'd find anything stronger than Thirteen, but it's worth trying, right?

You can air your worries though! Any time. I have the same ones… I don't know what I'd do if Thirteen sent you away from us. We'd try to get you back of course! But I don't have any kind of power for that. Maybe Donnie would figure out dimension portals after all. I'd try to help him with that.

I know it wasn't the same as a full party but I'm glad we could share that moment. It meant so much to me, to help you feel seen the way you helped me. I'll always be happy that you're my mom. Don't ever stop! (I know you won't. But don't!)

One day we'll throw you a surprise party and you won't have a choice >:) You'll just have to be pampered and partied at with no interference.

Looking forward to Hunter's first birthday with us! I'll come early to help wrap our gift <3

Love you always,
Casey

My little cub,

Sometimes I find myself stuck between protecting you as your mother and the honesty of the bond we've built together. But I will be truthful with you, Casey. I may not know the full extent of Thirteen's power, but from what we have experienced ourselves, I don't believe there's anything in this realm more powerful than her.

But I wouldn't want my hesitance to stop us from looking. You're right. When it comes to you boys, it is always worth it, a hundred times over.

As much as I don't like to think of us being separated, I do believe that our Donnie would fix it in the end. I can not even begin to understand how, but I know he would.

And for what it is worth, I will never stop being your mother. :) Always. No matter what.

The day that you boys throw me a party, I can already say will be another one of the best days of my life. Just another perfect memory to hold to my heart forever.

I love you, my darling. I hope that you never doubt just how deep that love for you goes.

Yours forever,
Mom

[This letter arrives crumpled, with the first half smudged and legible but rough.]

Dear Mom,

This trial sucks :( I'm so tired of being soggy. I got the rain to stop for now but I have to keep banishing myself to the balcony to avoid getting all the electronics wet. At least the actual weather isn't bad.

Anyway you're probably right about Thirteen being stronger. But I still want to search, too. Maybe I'll talk to Master Draxum. (Later, though. He really needs to rest, he's been non-stop since he got here.)

I hope we can remember this world if we end up going home early. I don't ever want to forget you're my mom. But we'll still be connected forever, right? That's how we can find each other someday. I'll keep hoping for that, no matter what.

I have a question for you! I'm thinking of asking on the network too, but your opinion is the most important. What colouration is the best for a cat? I'm done programming my school project so_______

[There's a streak of fuzzy ink across the page, like he was startled out of the last word. Then, a little more clear:]

stupid cloud! ruined my letter!

I love you goodbye :(
-Casey

[This letter comes attached with a bundle of waterproof paper, just in case of rain. ;)]

My sweetest, soggiest son,

I hope you have been feeling better since our adventure in letting off steam! Please, you know that if you ever feel that raincloud coming on, just come over and we can sit in my garden. Watering the plants will be soothing and I never mind the rain if I get to spend time with my most darling boy.

Pray, is Master Draxum well? I know he has been quite busy since his arrival to Folkmore, but the way you phrase it makes me worry. Truth be told, I never expected that the two of us would get along so well, but I can hardly imagine a time where he wasn't a part of our family. It warms my heart that you and Hunter like him as well. :)

You both are the most wonderful sons.

Anyway, to speak to your next worry, I will only say this: No matter what happens, I will always be your mother, Casey Jones, no matter the distance or dimension that separate us. And more than that, I will find you again. You have my word. Nothing will keep me from finding you, as many times as I must.

Oh! The best cat colouration? Well, I believe every feline is beautiful it their own way! But if I must pick, I quite enjoy orange cats with white bellies or the gray striped ones with spotted bellies. Both are so very darling, don't you think? What's your favorite, dear?

Don't you dare, Casey Jones! A little rainfall hasn't ruined a thing. I will cherish this letter just as much as I have every single one that you've ever sent. I love you endlessly, my little cub.

Always with love,
Mom

Dear Mom,

I love you endlessly too :) I hope you liked your surprise. And hopefully better late than never. Our love isn't late, just... not as timely as we'd like sometimes.

I do feel a lot better, mostly because that weather is gone now! But you helped a lot at the time, just like always. Thanks for always being there. You're the best ever!

About Draxum, if he hasn't told you already, he'd better tell you soon. I'm gonna text him a bunch of grumpy emoji until he caves. If he HAS told you, though, try not to judge him too harshly. He was a villain not that long ago, but he's a good guy deep down. Sorry, this is vague. I hate being stuck in the middle, but I'm also glad to be someone thought of as trustworthy, for confiding and stuff... I don't like that this keeps happening, though, and I end up being the one to prod someone into sharing with the people who ought to know. Are you angry? I'll understand if you're angry. I'm really sorry.

I'm really happy you'll always find me, though. It's reassuring. The idea of being from different worlds is less scary, when I think about that.

Orange or grey stripes are cute too. I got a lot of suggestions for cat colours. Lots of black, lots of calico. Master Draxum recommended tie-dye, do you know how to do that? The results look really cool. I kind of want to try it. Barring that, I like the look of a torbie cat.

I'm glad you cherish my letters but I'm MORE glad that this one isn't rained on. Hopefully the next trial is less damp. But at least I can kind of talk as your little cub now :P

Love you forever,
Casey

Casey my darling boy,

I can not believe that you boys went behind my back and planned the most wondrous, beautiful party for me! It means the world that you and Peter and darling Hunter went out of your way just to bring so much joy into my heart. Thank you, endlessly. I have never once had a party in my honor outside of the two weddings that I both coordinated and hosted myself. So for this special event in particular, I will never forget how much that day meant to me.

And please, you never have to thank me for helping you weather any storm, my darling. Big or small, I am right here for you through it all. Just as I trust you will be there for me in return. Such a thing might have been impossible for me to pen once upon a time, but now it comes so simply. Our relationship has grown so much and I could not be happier.

As for the matter of Draxum, we have spoken, yes, and of his own volition. I did not approach him first or bully him on this matter in the slightest. He only came to me when he was ready and I'm so very grateful for it, though it does trouble this old heart of mine to hear how he's suffered. I worry for him deeply, for this and the rest of what he's been through. I can only hope that him coming to me with this means he will trust me easier in the future. He should feel safe reaching out, not terrified of getting his hands slapped.

As for you, my Casey, I am not angry with you. Now or ever. I feel as if that would be utterly impossible. It does make me sad, to hear you've been trapped in the middle of so many secrets as of late, but I know that is only because of the trust built up between you and everyone else. Just please. I only ask that you don't carry the rest of the world's burdens along with your own. Not alone.

Since the weather is beginning to turn, we should play with tie-dye this weekend. Plan to come over and I'll have everything prepared for us. Bring along whoever you think might have fun. The more, the merrier.

You are always my little cursing cub ♥
Mom

Dear Mama-san :)

I'm so glad the party went well. It really taught us how much work you put into it, and how good at them you are! You make it look so effortless, but it took longer and required way more steps than we thought going in. It must be the mark of a true professional, for you to host so many and make them go off without a single hitch. I really admire you more than ever!

(It wasn't TOO much work, to clarify. It was so worth it to celebrate you!)

I'm glad things worked out with Draxum. And I really will try not to carry too much, going forward... try being the key word. Sometimes I get kinda in over my head. But it's because I love my family! So I don't entirely feel guilty for it. Just a little bit... I think what bothers me more is other people having to support me when I struggle by taking on too much. Even if I probably shouldn't worry about that either, because family helps me the way I want to help family...

Ah, whatever! Everyone speak up if you need help. Including me. Life would be so much easier if we stopped hiding things. And if we stopped being kind of hypocritical about it.

I still have a million complicated thoughts in my head right now, with everything going on. New people coming, others going... I'm so glad you're still here. If I'm around more than usual, it's because seeing your face calms me down more than I know how to say.

Love you always,
Casey

[Today's letter is enclosed in an envelope with a few cat punny stickers all over.]

Casey!

Every single time you call me Mama-san, I fear my heart will go out! It is just so very darling and I can hear it in your sweet voice so perfectly in my head!

You flatter me so much, my love. Don't forget that I've done hundreds if not thousands of parties over the course of my life. Of course the first one would seem like much more work, but you all did such an amazing job, do not sell yourself short. My effortlessness is simply due to excess practice. If I put you in charge of every party from here on out, I imagine you would become a master in no time.

(I will not, haha! I only meant it as a hypothetical. :) )

I find myself agreeing most ardently! How many problems would be so easily resolved by simply speaking up?!

That includes you, my darling, but I'm not saying that to shame you, simply as a reminder. I am all too aware of how strange things are for you right now, and we all want to be there for you, though maybe I would like it just a touch more than the others. :) I'm proud of you, Casey Jones. You are the brave beyond your young years. Things are going to turn out alright, whatever happens we will be right there with you. I will be right there with you. And you will always be my little cub.

My darling boy, I love you endlessly, forever and ever,
Rue (Your mama-san)

Edited 2024-07-10 04:28 (UTC)

Dear Mom,

Sorry this one's so delayed. I don't even have a good excuse, this trial isn't that bad. Just weird. I've got no complaints, but I kind of want to throw some cards in Thoth's office that are covered in a million question marks when I go back to school.

Do you have a favourite party you've organized? (Besides your wedding, I think that's too easy an answer!) You definitely shouldn't put me in charge of them (unless you want to celebrate a small disaster) but if you need help going forward, I'd like to learn more.

Speaking of celebrating! We're not that far away from the day we met :) It may not be as exciting as the anniversary of the adoption, but if you're free, I'd love to go out and do something with you. Or even stay in and have an "us" day.

It's kind of funny, looking back at how worried I was about everything when this month started. Family stuff, like with Cassandra, it all kind of blurred together and I kept wondering what I'm supposed to do, how I'm supposed to say what needs saying. Now, things are so much better, I'm excited about the future. Just like always, I did feel safer knowing I always had somewhere to go. If she didn't want me or didn't like the idea of being a mom, or even knowing me once she learned of that connection, I'd always have you. I'm glad you think I'm brave, and I don't disagree, but I'm so grateful that I can take my time and hide a little when I need to, with your support. I'm so glad to be your little cub, always!

I was wondering. If she wants me to call her as a mother, not her name, would you share it with her? Should we find some other version for her to use? Or would you want to be Mama-san for real? I'm cool with whatever. We're making it up as we go anyway. But how you feel is important to me!

Love you, love you, love you,
Casey (Junior!)

Dear Casey,

It is no worries at all, little one. These letters are never an obligation. I'm happy enough to be written at all, you never need to fret over getting them done. Not ever.

If you are quite serious in learning, my darling, I would be so happy to teach you, but only if you are truly interested! I won't want to waste your precious time with my silly talk of party planning otherwise. As for a favorite event outside of my own Wedding, it will always be the Bloom. More than anything I wish I could share the magic of it and the Feywild with you and the other boys. Truly, it would be unlike anything you've ever experienced. What I can do is just a mere fraction of the Feywild's beauty. I feel the true Bloom at it's peak would blow all of you away.

I miss it, of course, but never enough to return.

And of course, my darling. As if I ever need any excuse to celebrate the two of us. What would make you most happy to do? I'm up for either a day on the town or a day in, whichever you prefer. I'll make either as special as you deserve.

And as long as you wish to be, you'll always remain my little cub, no matter how old you get or how tall you grow. That will never change. But I'm so grateful it has been easier than all of us expected and that you are feeling more confident in building your relationship with her. You ARE brave, and that doesn't change just because you need time to reassess your feelings or to think things through. That only goes back to that message of giving ourselves grace that we are both attempting this year. Take your time always. Relationships worth making won't pressure you for more than you're ready to give.

Ah, I don't want to be selfish, so please do whatever would make you most happy. But I fear I would be quite hurt to not be called your mom anymore. You were the first to ever call me mom and that is so deeply special to me. However, if that is what would make you both happy, I would take whatever name you would give me. I won't stand in the way of your mother, of course. That wouldn't be at all fair of me.

I love you always and forever my darling son,
Mom

Edited 2024-07-31 07:59 (UTC)

Dear Mom,

I don't think it's a waste! It's important to you, and you always seem so happy doing it. It might be a good thing for me to learn. It might not end up being MY big passion, but that doesn't mean it can't be fun for me too. I'd like to try at least once, and I can tell you how I feel after, how about that? :)

Maybe we should do a Bloom, or something like it, one day. It might not be exactly like the Feywild, but we could do our own version. A Folkmore Bloom. It's still a very pretty place, right?

I like the idea of going out, but also staying in and relaxing. Maybe I can come over and we'll decide on the spot? I think that suits us best. Or we could go out and do something in the evening, maybe. As long as your husband doesn't mind if I steal you all day :P (I know he won't.)

Please don't ever think I want you to be anything less than my mom! That isn't what I meant at all. The word is just a word, you'll always be Mom as long as you want to be. I was asking because you seemed to like Mama-san, I didn't know if it was better or easier or what. If you want to stay as Mom then you're Mom forever. It's okay to be selfish about that sort of thing! (Or, don't call it selfish. It's 100% fine to want what you want, especially when it's something you already have. I would never dream of taking it away from you.)

I haven't actually called Cassandra Mom yet, either. I don't know how she'd feel about it. Just one more thing I can't figure out how to ask yet. There's still so much I haven't said. It doesn't matter in the end, though. If I can have two moms, I can have two Moms, you know?

Love you forever,
Casey

My Casey,

It is so strange to see our previous conversation from Before and to realize that such simpler times were but a week earlier. All of it is precious to me, of course, everything we discuss means such a great deal to me, but I find myself struggling with just how to address it.

Maybe a fresh start would be best.

Tell me about how things have been with your mother. I'm so grateful they are going well - and I will not tease you to say I said as much - but I would love to hear just what you've both been up to together. How are you feeling about things with her? Is everything better than you imagined?

My apologies that this letter is so short in comparison to the rest. Since Knickolas left, I find the words just haven't come as easy. I hardly know what else to say. Come over soon, please? We'll watch something fun and drink cocoa together.

I love you more than anything,
Mom

Dear Mom,

Being home again and writing a letter after staying at your place for so long feels a little strange. It's nice to be here, but I miss you too! I'll be visiting more going forward, so don't worry. There's still a few weeks before the next year of school starts, I have lots of free time.

Things are going really well with my other mom! Did I tell you, she took me flying when I had that kid-version illusion going on? We went right up to the clouds. It was amazing. I don't know how to describe how it felt, believing she was the one who raised me, and having her back from the dead for those few hours. I don't think my kid self could have been happier than that. Even if it was brief and I know the truth now, I really can't see it as anything but a gift. I'm a little sad, but I'm glad for it. And April told her about my timeline, that she died. I didn't have to. You were right about all of it. I was kind of guilty at first, but April wasn't angry. And I feel lighter for it.

Besides our anniversary (which was awesome), writing this made me realize, we've now been writing back and forth like this for over a year! Your first letter to me was dated August 13th. Every single one of these letters is a treasure to me. Thank you for always writing me back, seeing one of your fancy envelopes in my mailbox makes the whole day better.

Always yours,
Casey

My most handsome son,

(Please don't tell Leo! Or Donnie!)

I know I only just saw you yesterday, but after so much time spent together, I find that I am missing your company as well. What a blessing that I have BINX and Ciel to keep me company, so that I don't have to keep dragging you poor boys all of the way out into Willow every single day. I'll miss the lazy days of summer, but I'm excited for you to get back into school and have fun learning with other teenagers.

I'm so grateful for April, but there was no doubt in my heart that someone in the family would take that weight off of your shoulders. I'm glad things have been so well for the two of you, it's what you both deserve, a second chance. Together. My heart is so joyful for both of you.

Oh! It has been over a year now! I can hardly believe it. It feels both shorter and longer at the same time, doesn't it? But a full year of letters! You hardly need the practice anymore, but I would be so happy to keep writing to you for the rest of our lives, even when we are back in New York and living under the same roof. This is a tradition we must keep up always.

Thank you for everything, my Casey.

I love you endlessly, my little cub,
Mom

To my beautiful owlbear mama-san,

(You can't hold me to that! You hand me the greatest weapon to razz them in a dumb brother fight and then say I can't tell them? So cruel, Mother!)

School's starting soon, so Hunter and I will be back to regular visits to Gram or your shop after school. Don't miss us too much, because we'll be around a lot more in the next week. It's a good thing you never get sick of us :)

I was wondering. Did you want to borrow Queen for a while? I know it's not the same, but maybe having a cat in the house would help you feel better. of course it's not a replacement for any of us visiting! That'll still happen. But just in case, maybe it'd be nice to have her around. We have a full apartment here, so I won't mind if she's with you.

I'm really glad, too. I'm so lucky to have everyone. I'm going to spend more time with my other mom and get to know her, too. There's so much to learn! So many questions I want to ask. I don't know where to begin. I have a lot of thinking to do, but also a lot of talking. I just have to make sure I do more of one than the other. Don't want to overthink and miss my chance.

You don't have to worry about not writing any letters. I'll always write back! No matter how long it might take or if I run out of things to say, I'll figure something out. I don't want to stop, and I can always use more practice! Look, my cursive isn't as pretty as yours. So I still have more to learn!

Thank YOU, always. Love you forever,
Casey

My darling,

Oh! My heart always jumps when you call me mama-san. Being your mother will always be the most important title I've ever held, but there's something so cute about mama-san, it makes me feel all silly inside in the best of ways.

Never ever. Nothing could ever make me sick of any of your visits, but it will be good for me to actually work during the day instead of just spending the time with my sweet boys. I promise to get everything I need done during the day so after school will be our time. :)

Do you really not mind? Would she? I think the company might be helpful, especially in the evening hours, but I don't want to take her from her home if she'd prefer to remain with you. Perhaps it really is time for me to look at the shelters for a friend to adopt and bring home, just so things are a bit more lively again at the cottage.

I have no doubt that you will navigate this new relationship just as I've watched you navigate through every other one - with your full, accepting, generous heart. Everything will be fine, my love. As you've said, don't overthink things. Just follow your feelings, like you always have. They will rarely steer you wrong.

As for your writing, I will have to show bring some of your first letters to the shop to show you just how improved it has truly become! You would not believe the difference a year of letter writing would make! But I'm so proud of you for sticking with it always and there is no doubt in my heart that one day your writing will outshine even my own! Just you wait and see.

Love you always,
Mom

Dear Mom,

It feels weird to be back here. Kind of scary, too. I keep thinking it might flood again, or I might hear voices, or everyone will get whisked away like before. I keep checking to make sure Hunter's still here. I know you don't mind, but if I come by the shop or your house more often for a while, that's why. (Everything needs fixing anyway, so I can at least lend an extra pair of hands.)

I hope we can stay here and have a peaceful time for a long while. I never want to be left behind like that again. I guess a part of me is glad that it was me and not someone used to survival situations, since it was so dangerous. I super didn't miss that life though. I'm really grateful that we're all together and alive.

Everything we talked about before this happened feels so far away, now. I still wanted to send a letter right away, though, since it'd been so long. I missed it a lot. I didn't want to send you one while we were in Amrita since I know you like to keep them. I wasn't sure what would happen once Thirteen let us go.

I'm sorry for worrying everyone. Even if it's not my fault (at least not that Thirteen's implied), still. I wish you didn't have to go through all of that either!

Sorry this letter is so short, too. Having some trouble getting words together. My head's not all there yet. Just need some more time to get over it.

I love you, I love you, I love you,
Casey

My Casey,

I can not deny that it worries this old heart of mine to be back after what we and Folkmore itself have endured, but I believe it must be safe now, or Thirteen would not have let us return. That trial, for as long as it persisted, is finally over, and we have the chance to return to some kind of normalcy again.

Well, as normal as our lives have ever been.

As usual, if you or Hunter ever need me, say the word and I will be there. And of course you can come stay with me at the shop, anytime that you like. You know I love your company, and especially in this time of rebuild, we need to lean on the ones that we love and trust the most, which would be you a hundred times over.

If I have the chance, I will ask Thirteen directly why she picked you and Peter and Raphael to stay behind. It's cruel, if it was truly on purpose and not just an accident, but I want to make it known to her that I will not stand for it again. Being separated from you, even for such a short time, was terrifying. Next time, she had better leave all of us behind or take us all to safety together.

There's no need to apologize, my darling. It was fully out of your control. If anything, I should be apologizing to you that I was not able to come and sweep you back up as immediately as I wanted to. I know April and the others were looking for you, but I felt so hopeless being unable to do anything but stay back and wait. I'm so sorry, Casey. I hope you can forgive me.

We should think ahead to the holidays. Perhaps you would like to help me plan for a holiday party in December this year?

I love you forever and always, my little cub. Please come over anytime.

Love,
Mom

Dear Mom,

Things are starting to feel stable again. I'm trying not to worry, because it won't help anything, but some days are harder than others. If things are going back to normal, doesn't that mean the usual schedule will come back, too? So we wouldn't be too far off from the next trial. Scary to think about. We'll just have to do our best, I guess. And hopefully this time stick together.

Is the shop back to normal or does it still need work? I'm happy to help out. I don't feel bad about taking shelter there (I know you'd rather we be safe) but I didn't like that it'd flooded. If it needs more fixing, I'm here for it.

I want to know what Thirteen would say, but at the same time, I'm afraid of the answer. This is her world, and I usually love it here. If she doesn't like me or has something against me, or I did something wrong... I don't know. I guess it's better to know, so maybe there's a way to avoid what happened in the future. But it scares me. I'm not usually scared of this place.

I don't want you to apologize, Mom, you didn't do anything wrong. I'm grateful that you were safe in Amrita that whole time. I was in such a panic looking for everyone, because we had no answers. As soon as I found out that most of us were safe, I was able to focus on surviving and looking for the ones who were left. If you need to hear it, then I forgive you, but I really believe that there's nothing to forgive.

I'd love to help you with a party. I can't think of a better way to learn than from a mistrex :) Please teach me everything I need to know! I'll support you.

Love you always. I'll be visiting again soon,
Casey

My boy ♡

You and I have been thinking along the same lines, I see. I had the same thought earlier today, that because of the extended duration of the last trial, the next must be just around the corner. But after such a devastating one, won't Thirteen give us a break next? Something less impactful and not at all dangerous? I can only hope so, for all of our sakes.

The shop is perfectly put together again, just a few things out of place. The beautiful mural that Michelangelo made still remains untouched, and that is the most important part to me. The rest? It can be remade. My important memories and my more important people, they are safe and that is all that matters.

I wonder if she picked those that she did for a different purpose completely. Not out of anger or cruelty or a sense to hurt, but because she saw it would contribute to reaching your full potential. Maybe she saw something else within you, your strength and unwavering determination. I can't say I agree if that's really her truth, but it does seem less cruel.

Either way, I'm grateful to put that whole experience behind us and to focus on the future, which includes our holiday party. I'll connect with you soon and we'll start the preparations. There's so much to do!

Please be well, my darling. I love you endlessly, every single day.

Your mother,
Mom :p

P.S. I have more stringed cheese at the shop!

Dear Mom,

I can't even begin to tell you how relieved I am at how tame this month is so far. It could all fall apart in a second, I know, but just waking up and finding everyone still here, and the world mostly normal, wow! This trial is shaping up to be more annoying than bad. I feel so much better. Maybe I will have a good birthday for once :) I can brag about it to April. (She might smack me and I'd deserve it, but she's the only one who gets it.)

The shop does look great! I'm glad the mural survived. I hope the one in Donnie's lab is okay, too. Maybe you can ask him? He doesn't really return my messages these days. [There's a tiny doodle of a mini-Casey shrugging in the margins.] I think Hoot Couture being in tiptop shape is like a sure sign that things are going good, and it means you can fill Folkmore with more beautiful clothes. I bet that makes you happy.

Maybe you're right, about Thirteen. That's a nicer way of thinking about it. At least less cruel, like you said. Leaving me out there because she figured I could handle it, or it'd help me do my best... I guess it being such a big worldly crisis was familiar, and that helped. I didn't want to think badly of Thirteen, considering all I've gained in this world. I'm still grateful, mostly. I'd like it if she maybe thought less of me, though! At least for a while.

I'm going to watch some holiday documentaries and videos to see if anything inspires me. I can't have you doing all the work! :) One more real winter holiday! I'd like to do a better job at presents this year, now that I'm a little more practiced at it, so I'll have to think about that, too. I'm excited!

Love you, love you! (Thank you for the cheese <3)
-Casey

Happy Holidays to my most darling boy!

I can not even begin to express my relief to see that our Michelangelo's beautiful art remains. I don't know what I might have done if it had been lost. Recreating it would never have done the original justice, not with all of the love he put into every brush stroke.

Ah, but I digress! Darling, has he not been returning messages to you either? I fear our Donnie is becoming as much of a recluse as he was last year during this season as well. Do we need to host an intervention for him? The last one we threw didn't exactly go the way we wanted, but I do believe it opened doors that might have remained under lock and key otherwise.

Perhaps we should ask Leonardo?

Of course being able to create and share those creations with all of Folkmore - and my beautiful, perfect family - is so very important to me, but nothing makes this old owlbear happier than the afternoons spent with you and Hunter and the others in my shop. That is what made me love that space, the sound of you doing homework and giggling and stealing kisses thinking I wouldn't see. Those are the memories I'll hold with me my entire life, not who was wearing what.

(Though yes, I am immensely proud of what I've created here. :) )

I was thinking for the party this year that, depending on the weather, we might set up a small campfire outside in one of the nearby parks roast marshmallows. The cold doesn't bother me so much, but I know that humans shouldn't be outside in the snow for too long, is that correct? What do you think?

I love you so completely, my darling boy!

My son forever and always,
Mom

Happy holidays to the kindest mom ever!

I have to be careful not to use "best" so much anymore. It used to come so naturally, but I don't want to discount Cassandra Senior's efforts either. I mean, you're definitely still better at being mom, but she's trying hard to learn! (Is it like you not saying out loud if you have a favourite son? :P) It'll be an interesting day if she can match your level in great mom-ness.

I don't know if an intervention would help with Donnie. He's so stubborn, it's hard to get him to listen to feelings of other people, nevermind addressing his own, and to him I'm sure what he's doing is perfectly logical. I asked Leo about it, and he said to let Donnie finish whatever it is he's working on for now. As long as he's eating and drinking and not hurting himself, I guess I'll just stay out of it. Leo knows him best after all. But I told him if he needs help with anything, just let me know. Same to you! You'd get through to him way better than I ever could.

I have a different project I've been working on for a while, but once it's finished (probably after the holidays) I'd like to get back to work on my cloak. Now that I have access to more old files on my mask (Donnie helped with that at least) I've dug up the schematics for a bunch of Uncle Tello's tech. It's nice to get back to work! I can see why you enjoy the shop and staying so busy. Hopefully you're not TOO busy though. :)

(there's no such thing as stealing kisses if they're willing! But quit stealing looks at us! Do we need to get a curtain :P )

I love the idea of a campfire! Maybe if it was a section of the park near somewhere indoors as well? In case the weather gets too rough, or people get cold and need to go inside for a break. Or is there a way to magically set up a warm section where the wind can't affect somebody? We could also have runners (I volunteer!) who can cook marshmallows and bring them to people who can't be near the fires.

I'm excited for my second Christmas here :)

Love you love you,
Casey

To my growing son!

I dare not deny it, my dear Casey. When Cassandra first entered our family here, I was so fearful of being pushed out as your mother. Please believe me when I say it was not for lack of our bond that I thought as much, merely my own internalized fear of your true mother taking understandable precedence over me. Back then, hearing you say such a thing about her, I might have grown jealous.

However, these days, I feel none of that same fear or jealousy. I'm only grateful for your growing relationship with the woman, and how our own relationship remains unchanging. You are still my son. Only now, you are her son too. And that is wonderful. :)

As much as I wish to argue about Donnie, I see exactly what you mean. You're right. Leo would know what to do best out of all of us, so if he says to wait, then I will agree to wait too. Though I do think you're downplaying your own role in his life, darling. Donatello loves you, it is just in his own way - which I admit, I do not always understand, but I'm trying to learn.

Believe me, I am never TOO busy in this place. It is nothing like it was back in the Faerie, where my every second was accounted for. Here, I work at my leisure. I promise. And I can not wait to see your new cloak completed!

(Perhaps a curtain would give more privacy, but I also don't believe my shop is the place you're looking to find it!)

Countdown to our little party! I can not wait, my darling! It will be a most beautiful, happy, wonderful holiday!

Love you the most,
Mom

Happy new year, Mom!

The holidays are done and we did it! We hosted a whole party together. It feels kind of like a dream now that it's over. It was so overwhelming at first! Do you remember what it was like, your first time? Were you super nervous, like me? Or were you an unshakeable pro from the very start? I can imagine either one. Nobody's perfect the first time, but you're so capable.

I'm glad you feel better about my other mom being here. I really love you both! I could never choose if somebody asked. You're both so different, and amazing in different ways (and some of the same ways, too). I know how lucky I am to have two moms. A whole ten years I had none, and now I have two. I couldn't ask for a better life. It IS wonderful :)

I don't like to argue with you (about Donnie or otherwise) but I think you're off the mark. I don't think he loves me. I don't even think he likes me. It's okay, I guess. Not everybody has to. Uncle Tello loved me because I grew up around him, he had my whole life to get used to me. It's only been a year and a half. Maybe he will someday, or never. But it hurts to think about it when I know it isn't true yet.

How is your new furry friend settling in? Do they have a favourite body yet, are they a good snuggler? Not as good as we are, I know :P but I think I nailed the programming. I think Queen misses you a little but is also glad to be home. We'll have to have cat play dates or something. Or, or maybe they'd also like to visit the cat cafe? We've got options, now. Not that we need an excuse to go.

I was thinking about sleeping over soon, maybe. There's something I want to talk to you about, but not in a letter.

Love you lots, and here's to another amazing year with my amazing mom <3
Casey

A happiest of new years to my son,

No, no, no. I assure you that I was never a pro when I first started out hosting parties. If anything, I was even more of a mess than you're feeling now, simply because I came into hosting alone, instead of with a proper mentor. I remember the utter exhaustion I used to feel, but also the sense of pride when everything was over. I hope you've enjoyed helping me enough that you'll do it again with me next year, Casey.

And you deserve every wonderful moment. ♡

No one could compare to you and I when it comes to snuggling, but I have been awfully impressed with my new companion and their love of cuddling with me. I know that you were missing Queen, but I'm so still grateful you went out of your way to do this for me. I could not ask for a more understanding and generous son. (I think because of my size, they quite enjoy the largest body, just to not drown in my feathers.)

Oh Casey, that makes me so sad to hear such a thing. Of course I believe you, but I just can't imagine a reason why anyone would dislike you, especially Donnie. Pray, my love, is this something you might like my help in navigating? Or would you prefer to do it yourself? Just say the word, dear.

Thank you for another amazing year, my darling son.

Our love is forever,
Mom

Dear (dear dear dear) Mom,

Is it weird that it's a relief you had the same kind of learning curve? I always feel kind of helpless (or at least unhelpful) when I'm not good at something right away, especially when there's someone around who's a pro. I had a lot of talks with sensei about that stuff, growing up. I wanted to be good at everything, because we didn't have much time to be bad. It could get somebody killed. Parties are a lot more low-stakes, but your reputation was on the line! I had to do good. Thankfully I had an amazing mentor. I'd love to keep helping out, though. It's a big job, and I don't like the idea of you having to keep doing it alone either. I'll do my best to learn well!

Well I'm glad that the new cat is no competition for me! But I'm also glad you have someone for good cuddles when one of us isn't there. I think both bodies are good, but I agree the big one seems better suited for your arms. You've got lots of big kids for hugs, so it makes sense to have a big cat too! Did you figure out a name?

About Donnie, I wouldn't do anything about it. He's busy with his project and won't care at all. It'd probably just make him resent me for even bringing it up. I guess it's just nice to be able to vent about it a little. He's not Uncle Tello, we both know that, and I still miss everyone but the others like me, so it's easier to grieve and love them differently. Maybe once he's done whatever he's working on, we can talk again. April knows too, and she knows him better than anyone (besides maybe Leo) so if she thinks it's worth bringing up at some point, I trust her with it. Otherwise, better to just leave it alone.

Don't want to leave this on bad vibes, so I'm including a recipe. It's Uncle Mikey's risotto! I think I finally mastered it, and it's amazing. I'll bring you some next time I visit.

Love you so much,
Casey

[The letter includes a copy of a recipe card for some tasty, tasty risotto.]

My darlingest boy,

Oh Casey! It isn't an odd feeling in the slightest! I am certain that with my thousand plus years at doing this, it must look like it comes as easily as breathing. But I promise that is solely due to practice. When I was first beginning, I could barely string a proper sentence together without stammering through it or getting distracted with another forgotten task that had popped up into my mind! You did amazing, my Casey, and I promise that with more practice, you will only get better and better.

As long as you enjoy it, of course. :) I want you to only ever do what brings you so much joy in your life. :)

Pray, I have not yet come up with a name for her. I've thought of at least five dozen, but none truly matches the energy that I feel within her. Perhaps the next time you come over, I may rattle off a few ideas at you in front of her, just to see what you think. She doesn't seem to particularly care either way, which I admit feels like even more pressure, but within the next week or two I'll certainly come up with something.

I see. I hope that if you feel like this way about anyone, darling, that you aren't keeping it to yourself. Even if it's someone that we all love, I think it's healthy to speak up, even if it's just a quiet gossip session with someone you love. As it is, I'll go by Leo and April's opinion, of course, but still, he's a dummy to not see you for the joy you bring into all of our lives.

Oh! Please do bring it by! In fact, just to make this a proper exchange, I've attached one of Hob's for those delicate macarons he so enjoyed making. If you feel inspired, you should try to make them! And share them with me. ;)

All of the love in the world,
Your mother always

Dear Mom,

Here we are again. So much happened that I keep staring at the page wondering where to start. Where were we before? What were we thinking about? I had to re-read your last letter to even remember. I guess that's a good thing, reading your letters calms me down a lot.

I want to talk about what happened, but also I don't. It's done, it's over. I got my answer. That's a good thing too, isn't it? Now I can move on. Everything will be better, and I have so much good in my life. I'll stay in my corner and I won't have to think about it anymore.
But also I wish I could just forget it.
This sucks.

I think I'm leaning on not wanting to talk about it after all. Sorry. Maybe later.

Trying to get back on track:
I really did enjoy helping you plan the party. I want to do it again next year, and the year after, every year... whether we're still here or back in New York, count on me.

Does she have a name yet? I'll help you figure one out for sure. Pets need names. I've never had a real one before but I know that much. Plus if you don't give her a name, she can't program herself to answer to it. Here's a tip to incentivize you: she has a whole set of extra features that unlock when you give her a name.

I'm going to pick a new recipe to work on. Some of them have notes on them, I'm going to see if I can figure out sensei's favourite. We could surprise Leo. I won't bring macarons though, every time I try they deflate and look terrible. (They're tasty though.)

Love you,
Casey

My Casey,

I will never push you to do anything you don't want to, but I do so firmly believe that every hurt and ache and horror that we've talked about together, we have come out on the other side feeling more certain of our own feelings. Perhaps even more understanding of why it happened.

So please, whenever you are ready, you know that I would hear all of it, in person or through letter. But I promise not to ask until that day comes.

Thank you, my darling. There's no one I would like to have at my side more from here until the end of forever, assisting with my parties. Perhaps in New York we can start a small party business. You know, small events, birthdays and baby showers and the like. Much less stressful, but just as much fun.

But what if I do not see her as a pet but as a darling companion of mine? I want whatever name that is picked to be something she chooses. Perhaps I should start reading names out of a book and see if any seem to excite her!

Pick a date and we will cook to surprise our dear Leo. :)

I love you, my boy. I'm so grateful you're safe.

Love you,
Mom

Edited 2025-02-25 20:15 (UTC)

Dear Mom,

Thank you. I love you. I promise I'm thinking about it. You'll be the first when I decide. <3

A party business sounds like it could be fun! I don't know anything about running a business in New York OR about running parties, so I'd have a lot of reading to do. Good thing I like to learn. Maybe I should take out some books from the library on business and stuff. Oh, here's a thought: what if we ran parties in the Hidden City? Or at Big Mama's hotel. (As long as she doesn't start more fights.) Then you could be yourself, no disguise needed.

I guess she could be either, she's yours so you decide how it works :) Maybe I can write a random algorithm to add to her code next time I visit, something that lets her pick a name based on what she already likes... she and Queen are due for a software update anyway. I've been learning new code from Uncle Tello's files and his SHELLDON AI is so much more complicated! It'd be cool if they could be more free-thinking.

How about next weekend for the cookathon? That'd give us more time to practice. And it should be pre-whatever-trial-is-next, unless she throws a wildcard at us. I want it to be good for Leo, he deserves it.

I'm really grateful you're safe too! It makes all the difference, you being right there when we all came home. If you ever feel like you didn't do enough, please remember that. You were right where I needed you.

Love you, love you,
Casey

My most courageous Casey,

You know, Casey, that's a rather brilliant idea, isn't it? I hadn't even considered the possibility of hosting parties for the inhabitants of the Hidden City, but surely they must have as much love of partying as anyone else. I can't even begin to imagine what kinds of parties they might enjoy down there, but I'm certain between the two of us we could figure out exactly what they like.

As for your research, I think it's a fine idea. Obviously I'm happy to teach you from my own experience, but some help on the business end may be beneficial. I admit, it's the one piece I am not so fond of, but is ultimately almost as important as the clothing I make. You being able to fill in for that knowledge I lack would be such a boon, my love. We would be unstoppable!

Oh, would you? I would be so happy to know that she had even a little more control over her own agency. Not that she isn't perfect as she is - she's been such a wonderful companion in the house - but sometimes I fear her entire world revolves around me and I am reminded just a touch too much of the fae that kept me as such a willing pet. If she felt that way, even slightly, I believe the guilt would eat me alive.

Next weekend it is. :) No interruptions, it will just be you and I the whole time!

Thank you, Casey. Perhaps that is what I needed to hear, but I promise you to always be there for you, just as you've been for me.

If we can borrow Leonardo for the portal, might you like to take another trip to Tides with me in a few weeks? I thought I might do some shopping for new fabrics. Just let me know in your next letter and if you would, I'll pick another weekend for a casual little trip. :)

Your mother forever and always,
Mom

Dear Magical Majestic Marvelous Multi-Talented Mother,

(I took out a thesaurus from the library for a project and forgot to bring it back.)

If Master Draxum were still here I could ask him more about the Hidden City. I doubt he'd know much about the party scene, but at least I could learn more culture. Wonder if I could find books about that in the library? Or summon with lore, maybe. Actually, I'm going to make a list of book ideas and see what comes up. There's other stuff I've been meaning to look for, anyway.

We're already unstoppable, this would just make us even mightier :P I'll add business books to the list, too. It might be a little boring at first but I think I could get into it. I like math and numbers, that's a big part of it. And writing business policy is almost like writing code, right? (Just smile and nod, even I don't know. We can pretend.)

I've got the cat code patch mostly done, but there's some bugs I have to work on. When I installed it on Queen she curled up into a ball and started rolling around the living room. (I took a video, don't worry. It was unsettling but cute.) Maybe the code really did give her free will and that's what her heart called her to do? Maybe I also need to program in a "blink once for yes, twice for no" function, just so I can get confirmed feedback when I'm testing stuff. Anyway, maybe by the next sleepover I'll have it done for them.

I can go to Tides any time now! Portal or not. I tried out the elevator a while back, and it's nowhere near as stressful as the sub ride. No krakens, no long trips, just a quick ride down, only a few minutes max. If I turn into a bird or the pangolin it's even less scary. I'll ask Leo anyway, I'm sure he won't mind. But if he's busy we have options now :) I can't wait!

Your Safe Silly Salubrious Sassy Son,
Casey

My love,

You're too silly!

I think that's a very good idea, my Casey. Pray, what other books might you be looking into? I'm curious to know what my genius son is so eager to read up on.

Well, while you teach yourself, you can teach me as well. It would benefit me greatly to finally learn and I can think of no better teacher than my own business partner! Math is hardly my strongest suit, but if we plan to run a proper business for a profit, since I imagine we won't be making money simply by conversing, it would behoove me to take this seriously. And if we're to have a beautiful cabin in the woods with the largest television imaginable, we'll need to be able to afford it.

Casey Jones!! If you do not text me that video immediately I fear I will never forgive me! Perhaps you could bring Queen by the shop this next week, we can see if she has any opinion on her favorite color of ribbon to play with.

Oh excellent! :) That is so perfect, dear. I'm so proud of you for facing your fear. To think! It's been so long since our first trip a year and a half ago, this one will so much less dramatic. Perhaps we should visit the pet store and see if those turtles are still there, hm?

I love you endlessly, my brave boy. Sending kisses from my cottage!
Mom

Dear Mom,

Made you smile though, right? :)

I took out a few business texts, plus one for advanced coding, and I've been on the lookout for magic texts. First, I wanted to see if I could find any history on the Hidden City or yokai. The city itself must have so much to learn about! And yokai culture would be important if we want to plan parties for them. I grew up around yokai but there wasn't much time to learn cultural stuff. Second... well, don't tell Hunter, I don't want to make him uncomfortable. But I'm looking for textbooks on grimwalkers. Something weird happened over the winter holidays, and even though it seems okay now, it made me realize how little we still know. I want to keep him safe, but I don't want to upset him by bringing it up yet, either. I figure if I know more about what he is, I can make sure he's healthy. No luck finding anything yet, but if the libraries won't give me anything, there's always lore. (Since I don't want you to worry, you should know that he's totally okay as far as I know and I haven't seen anything to fuss about. This is preventative care!)

The good thing about business math is it's pretty simple, far as I can tell. I think between the two of us we'll have no trouble with that part. Though, I need to check if the Hidden City has a different currency. Oh, or currency conversion? I've never used anything except lore, but I know others exist. New York uses the dollar, maybe Hidden City has the yen or yokai dollar? The others have been there, they'd know. Don't worry about affording stuff, though. Donatello would probably buy you whatever you want. Uncle Tello used to talk about how he had no money trouble at all, back when money mattered.

Still working on the code kinks, but I'll bring Queen as soon as I get it working. Knowing her she'd want every ribbon you have in stock, so better get extra.

I'm looking forward to our Tides visit! It really is crazy how far we've come since then. That was even pre-adoption. We should so visit the turtles! I wonder if they'd remember us. I should thank them for helping to calm me down. They were so cute. Here's to a visit with no panic attacks.

Love and kisses, I'll visit the cottage real soon! <3
Casey

Casey ❤️

You always do.

Casey! You have done a very terrible job of making me not worry. :( What is wrong with my son? Why have I only just heard of his now? Is Hunter worried over this as well? Should I say anything to him? Should I say nothing at all? Is he waiting for his mother to come and fix this?

...

Pray, I apologize. After everything that happened, I am just more worried than I normally might be. If you're certain he will be well, I trust your opinion, my Casey.

Just please remember I am right here if you or him ever need a single thing.

Anyway, to the rest of your letter, I remember the dollar! It is the currency we used back in Massachusetts, though I frequently used a card that kept track of my dollars in digital form. It was quite convenient! Hopefully whatever they use in the Hidden City will be just as easy for us.

Thank you! I will so be looking forward to our playdate in the shop!

Perhaps if there are turtles to purchase, we should bring them home with us. Surely they'll be happier out of that store. What do you think? Would that be too strange? I wouldn't want to make the others feel uncomfortable.

Here is to a beautiful spring together,
Mom

Dear Mom,

I'm sorry! He really is okay. He'd tell me if he wasn't. And if it WAS something I'd make sure he told you too. I promise! Here is what happened: he used some blood to make my tracker necklace, and it made the skin on his hand turn a kind of weird colour. It was just temporary, though. I think maybe since he's made of wood, he can change colour like a tree? I don't know. It's why I want grimwalker books! He's as healthy as ever though.

I'm sure whatever currency they use in Hidden City, we'll figure it out just fine. We got the hang of lore pretty quick!

I'm not sure if it would be strange or not to have tank turtles. I mean, they also started out as regular turtles! Maybe they were at a pet store as babies before Master Draxum got them. They don't have to be pets either way, though. They could be like your cat, just friends :) You can talk to them like you would any other friend, so to me it makes sense. Would you keep them at your cottage? I think you should ask them if they want to live with you!

Love you always,
Casey

To my most darling boy,

My heart feels so entirely relieved, Casey. Forgive my utter panic in my last correspondence, I know in my heart of hearts that you would let me know if the situation was truly dire. And I trust in Hunter to come to me if it was ever really needed. It's just after everything that we've been through as of late, my illogical fear overtook my more logical reasoning. I didn't mean to overreact the way I did, but I apologize for it nonetheless.

That being said, I'm so grateful and relieved at your explanation!

I will say that whenever we leave for the mortal world again, I will miss the idea of Lore as a currency. It's not dissimilar to fae currency, which is all for show really, but being able to generate it simply by speaking! I daresay that you and I would never run out of Lore ever! Still, I agree that we'll figure it out together. And it helps that we know a few turtles who will be more than willing to help us out.

I think I will. :) I've been wanting to add a small pond on the right side of my home, away from my big trees in the garden, and it would be the perfect place for a happy family of turtles. And when it snows, I'd be more than happy to bring them inside, perhaps make an indoor pool for them. I quite like the thought of my house being so overrun with other animals. But I will ask the others first, just to be absolutely certain it is not too strange to them. :) Thank you, my darling Casey.

Pray, we are coming up on our second anniversary in this place, aren't we? I can barely believe it's nearly been two years here! We will have to mark the occasion, of course. :)

Loving you more and more by the minute,
Mom

Dear Mom,

No need to apologize. I don't think it's illogical. It's easy to forget there's always stuff to worry about, even when things seem fine on our end. If it feels like you don't know, then you don't know and it's scary, right? That's why I always eavesdropped on the family meetings when sensei was all "you're too young for this one". Too bad, sensei, I went anyway. (I probably was too young, but oh well.)

I think I'll miss lore, too. I read that some places you have to work like 2 or 3 hours just to buy a single hamburger! That's crazy to me. Here I can afford it by asking the spirit cooking it about their day. Feels a lot more friendly, too. It'd be cool if yokai currency was similar, but judging by how Big Mama moved her business to New York, I wonder if it's actually worse D8

A pond at your house sounds so nice! If you didn't end up with turtles, you could always get frogs or fish. There's lots of water creatures that I bet would love a pond. Want help building it? I can dig holes! I'm gonna find books on building outdoor ponds now.

It really is crazy how soon it's coming up. Two years almost... time goes by so quick. I wonder what we should do this year? Something similar? Or maybe something we've never done before. I'll have to think about it.

Here's to infinite more years!
Casey

My darling boy,

Pray, I hadn't even considered how the cost actually translated to items. Back at ADI, we worked for our pay, of course, but I hadn't quite realized how generously we were paid in comparison. Everything there was simply on a card and, outside of the horrors, we were well taken care of. The fact that humans have to work multiple hours a day only to be fed doesn't sit right with me at all.

For all of the things we did wrong back in Faerie, no one ever went hungry.

Would you mind, terribly? I was thinking of asking Peter and Leo and Raph as well, I think between the four of you with my supervision, we could complete it within an afternoon or two. :) Naturally, I will pay you all in kisses and food and clothing, of course.

Since we spent last year doing all of our favorites, perhaps this is the year when we try something that is new for both of us together. I don't quite know what just yet, but there must be something we have yet to experience. Skydiving, perhaps.

Here is to forever! ♡
Mom

Dear Supermom,

We probably won't ever be hurting for money considering we'll be able to make or grow most of what we need in the woods. And anything YOU need, Donatello would totally get for you. (Which means we'd all benefit.) Maybe if we got extra money from the business we could give it away to people who can't get food? Going hungry is awful, I don't want anybody to go through that if I can help it.

I don't mind at all :) It can even help me practice some new glyphs. Kisses and food and clothes are the best currency! <3 <3 <3 I'm sure everyone would love to help you.

Skydiving, whoa! Actually, that could be cool. We could jump off of Never Fade. I've done it before, but the way I avoided a crash was turning into the bird form. Luz taught me a glyph that stops you from hitting the ground too fast after a long fall, do you know any magic like that?

Love you love you,
Casey

Supermom!!!

Dear Superson! :)

I'm so proud to be your mother, my sweet, wonderful, generous boy.

I think that would be a wonderful idea. If we can do anything to help make the world we'll be living in a better place, I would so happy to do whatever we possibly could. Though I wonder how my magic will be affected returning. Back in Massachusetts, using my magic was quite limited considering my connection was through the fae realm. I hope I'll be able to keep at least a few spells and abilities, healing especially, but otherwise, it's an easy sacrifice to make to be with my sons.

I DO love kisses. :) :) :)

Oh, that was a joke, dearest! I don't think I could ever do such a thing. I was terrified enough to leap out of a tree! And while I would never tell you not to, please consider how your mother may have a heart attack if you do.

Love you my Superson,
Rue

Dear Mom,

I'm proud to be your son, too! Always, always.

I think magic will work for you. You've had it for so long, and it exists for yokai and the family. There's different kinds of magic already, why not fae? Now, it might not work for Hunter and me. Glyph magic depends on the Titan on the Boiling Isles, and probably Thirteen here, and that doesn't exist on Earth. Same for the familiar magic. If it doesn't work, I'll be sad to let it go. But we'll all have each other, so even if none of us end up magical, I'll be happy. So don't worry! You'll always be you.

[Have a little doodle in the margins of a cartoony owlbear getting cheek smooches. Well deserved!]

Okay yeah I can see the joke making more sense. Trees are one thing, but the sky sure is up there! I won't be jumping off any time soon, don't worry. I have my staff or I can turn into the bird form anyway.

Time sure is flying. Summer's on its way! Love you,
Casey

My boy,

As long as I am myself and I'm still with all of you, it will hardly matter in the slightest. But I think I would also be sad to lose my magic again. My time in Massachusetts, outside of the Horrors, was difficult to navigate without the use of it. Granted, I'm much better adapted to life outside of the fae realm now, but still, how would I clean up messes? With a broom and mop? How terrible!

That is very true! You as a bird leaping out of a plane wouldn't worry me half as much, though I do wonder what it might feel like to fly. Is it strange that I am one of the only Legends in Folkmore who wasn't given wings to fly with? I assume Thirteen saw the wings I already had and decided they were enough, but I do feel at least a little cheated! Though an owlbear flying through the sky might incite more panic than anything.

To another wonderful summer with my family.

I love you endlessly,
Mom

Dear Mom,

How else do guardians get their place clean? They ask their kids to do it! You know, Hunter actually really likes cleaning. Not that I mind it, but there's a reason I do more cooking than cleaning at our place. Maybe I can sweep and he can mop. I don't like the wet chores. I think that's one big perk of being an owlbear versus being human- no pruney fingers!

I think an owlbear flying would be cool, not scary. Just ignore what anyone else might say. Actually, I was talking to Raph about this not long ago, and he was saying he's never had wings either. I wonder how that works? Maybe Thirteen is just waiting for the right moment to let both of your wings come out. Some kind of dramatic event like in a movie. If I jump off of more high things will you suddenly fly up to catch me just in time? (I will not.)

Time sure is flying, speaking of. Before we know it it'll be anniversary time again! Wonder what we should do this year. Maybe I'll pick a tattoo :P It feels impossible to choose just one though. Maybe I'll cover my whole body in them eventually, just because I'm indecisive.

Love you always,
Casey

My Casey,

Does he now? How is this the first time that I'm hearing that! Pray, is this something new he's come to love since living with you? I find the thought so darling, and I can't deny that it reminds me of my Knickolas, these boys who were bred for war finding their true selves within such domestic tasks.

Perhaps it won't be so terrible without my magic then, especially not when I have sons willing to pick up some of the slack. (Only some! I promise to do my own part as always.)

Thank you for the clarification! PLEASE, my love, do not jump off of anything! And perhaps, it can be difficult to understand just what she means sometimes. Though I wonder if it is more due to our size. Perhaps the wings needed would be so excessively giant that she had to leave them off. Or maybe we're just legendary enough without them.

A body covered in tattoos would be quite the beautiful work of art! ...But perhaps not your face, hm? It's just so handsome and perfect as is.

Maybe we should put together a new scrapbook? It's been awhile since I've sat down to work on one properly. I'm certain that between the two of us we have more than enough photographs.

My love for you grows stronger by the day,
Mom

Hi Mom!

The way he explained it, he used to do a lot of cleaning back in his world, so it's something he's confident in and he likes doing it because he's good at it. I checked a few times to make sure it wasn't upsetting him or giving him bad memories, but he really seemed happy to do it, so if he likes it, who am I to say no? Especially since he likes the chores I don't like much.

I think you should get to have ginormous wings if you wanted to fly. It wouldn't hurt anybody to have them! Maybe it would be cool. I DO think you're legendary with or without, though. Would you want flying wings, if you could have them?

I'm not going to tattoo my face! I don't even know what I'd put there. I get red slider markings like Leo when I use the disguise brooch to become a turtle, so if I did anything, maybe it'd be that. But I don't actually want to do it, so it's a moot point. I'm not a turtle, I'm just me. (You're making me blush :) ) I *am* Hamato though, so I was thinking maybe the Hamato emblem. Do you have some kind of symbol that represents you?

A scrapbook is a great idea! We have tons of new photos at this point. And I have that nice printer begging to be used. You should come over and hang out after work, we can find some books and make a copy for each of us.

Love you love you,
Casey

Hello my darling son!

Well, that makes this old heart of mine so thoroughly happy. I love that he's found so much joy in life at your side, that the two of you are so good at balancing the other out. Just like Peter and Leo, you are both such a perfect match. I do love to see you both taken care of by one another.

Oh, that is so very kind of you, dear, but I'm quite content on the ground. :) I think climbing trees is about the highest I would prefer to ever be, for now, at least. My natural wings will just have to do! (I say, as if I'm at all displeased with how glorious they are!)

Pray, I can not deny that the thought of you with little slider markings has made me just the slightest touch emotional. Wouldn't that be such a beautiful tribute to your father? I think, in that one instance alone, I will grant you permission for face tattoos, but only for that one! That being said, the Hamato emblem would be a fine choice instead, to represent your roots entirely. As for me, I do not. It's not something I've ever considered, nor have I the family history to pull from. What might represent Delloso de la Rue, hm? I can think of nothing that encompasses the whole of my being so easily.

Though, if I were to get something, perhaps a marking for each of my boys. Footprints, perhaps.

It sounds like date, my love. I can not wait a moment longer!

See you tomorrow,
Mom

Dear Mom,

I'm glad too. I think I'm so, so lucky. All of us are, to have found each other the way we did. In the bigger scale of things it hasn't been that long, but I really can't imagine life without any of us. (Now I have to, what's the phrase? Knock on wood? I read about that a while back. Thirteen, leave us alone.)

Your wings are super glorious, of course. I wonder if it would be hard to control if you did have another pair? Like, you'd really have to practice flapping one pair instead of another. I remember how hard it was to figure out flying with just one pair as a bird. And I never thought of it as having wings as an owlbear, since they work as arms, too. Though wings ARE wings for birds... wow, I'm suddenly glad we don't have to overthink this.

You saw the photo on my board with me and Leo as turtles together, right? I'll send it too. [There's a copy included in the envelope, now.] The disguise brooch picked the form for me, and at the time I don't think I was ready to say it, but it really nailed the idea, huh? If I was gonna be a turtle, I'd want to be like my dad, or if not him then at least like one of my uncles. But maybe not exactly the same? Sometimes I think about the scale markings I got coming here, on my arms and back- they're not really MY marks, just copies of my family's. I always thought it would be kind of cool to have my own. Maybe that's what the tattoos would be for instead. Something that's just me.

If I had to pick a symbol for you, I think it would be flowers. Or some kind of plant, for sure. That's just my first thought, though; we met when you gave me tea for the first time, you have that flower halo, and the first time you asked if I wanted to be family, you were making flower crowns. What if it was a flower crown made of symbols for everyone? Or a flower for everyone, something that represented the whole family. That could be cool. I bet it would look really pretty.

Love you,
Casey

My love,

I often feel much the same way, that all of you have been in my life for so much longer than you actually have. It is astounding to think I have existed for thousands upon thousands of years before any of you were even born. I think it reminds me of how truly special it is that we all even met in this place. We have everything fighting against us meeting and yet here we are, the happiest family to ever live.

It makes me feel that our family can truly withstand everything.

Truth be told, I'm glad I don't have to overthink it either. :P I'm perfectly content as is, with this single, non-flying pair of wings.

Ah, that does make so much more sense now that you've put it that way. You deserve to have things that are simply your own, not just continuations of others. Well, I am all for whatever tattoo ideas you might have then, even if they involve your face.

(Though I will beg you to consider it before you follow through! Just to be certain it's what you want!)

A specific flower to represent everyone in the family, all making up a single flower crown? Casey Jones, I could have considered this for ages and never come up with an idea so brilliant! But pray, now I'll have to think of flowers to associate with all of my boys. And certainly, some are easier than others, but some might take some real noodling! (Donatello.)

I am so grateful to have you in my life. Always, my love,

Mom

Dear Mom,

I am going to be a little whiny for a minute! My chest still hurts! Maybe I should have gotten a smaller tattoo. It does look really cool, though. I feel cool looking at it. It's like, I don't need it to be a part of anything, I definitely know that! But it still feels good to carry it, like sensei's slider marks. I don't know. I keep looking in the mirror and smiling at myself.

Thanks again for going with me, I don't regret. I do wish bodies healed naturally faster. I'd try magic but I don't want to mess it up! (It doesn't hurt a lot, it's just. You know how scabs are? I keep wanting to pick at it.)

Lately I've been talking to some people who're unhappy about being here, or questioning how I can be happy, and sometimes it's hard to give them a good answer. I mean, I always tell them that my family is here, I have two amazing moms and all my brothers (and whatever Donnie counts as), April, and Hunter, and Peter... even with trials and the weird stuff Thirteen does, this is a good home for me. And sometimes I say my old home was worse, but that somehow comes across as insufficient. It's not like I'm telling THEM to call Folkmore home, it's just my opinion. Does anyone question you on that sort of thing? What do you say? I feel so awkward, not hating Thirteen. I don't LIKE her, just. I love it here, mostly.

oh sorry for the short letter today I just heard cannons above. The pirates are back! I'm gonna fight them :) (very safely)

Love you forever,
Casey

My darling,

My apologies on the lateness of this correspondence! The shop has had a revolving door these last few weeks, as everyone rushes in to get their summer clothing in order before the weather gets too hot. I daresay I've barely slept just to keep up on all of these orders!

But all of that to say, I love you, my sweet child. Your presence at the shop is always such a delight and comfort in my life. It makes the hours fly by.

Do not pick at it!

I'm certain you know that, but the mother in me needed to remind you! As for the bruising ache that you feel, while I agree with you that we shouldn't use magic to heal the skin as it may alter the artwork, perhaps I could settle a little soothing magic just to ease that discomfort for you. You need only say the word and my magic is all yours.

(And also, when you feel comfortable showing it off, send me a picture of it ASAP! I want to see how it's healing. :) )

As to your question, yes, I do feel as if my sanity is called in question at least once a week or so by those who refuse to see this place as anything but a prison. I'm aware things are very different for you and I - we have lives in Folkmore and our families are here with us - but at the same time, I've learned so much about myself and what kind of owlbear I want to strive to become. Thirteen has been kind to all of us for the most part, giving us all the space to grow. When I'm asked that question, I always return to you boys as my answer to why I love it here, but I think even if we hadn't met, I would have found some peace in this place. Maybe not the utter happiness I have now, but a calmness to my soul.

I can only hope that all of those who question being in Folkmore find their own reason for wanting to stay.

I love you endlessly,
Mom

[Included in the envelope is a printed selfie of Casey, tugging the neckline of a loose tank top down and finger-gunning the healed tattoo on his chest. It looks pretty good!]

Dear Mom,

I'm glad I waited a bit to write this letter. I'm still reeling from everything, but I feel much more calm now. Like I can leave the apartment and follow the usual schedule without panicking about sensei not being around when I come back. I still can't believe he's really here.

I'm happy, but I'm also worried. He seems bothered about disrupting my life or getting in the way of what I have here. But he isn't! He's part of it now. I've told him, but he's so stubborn and I can tell he's thinking about it. Can I ask: when my other mom showed up here, I wanted to make sure you knew I still loved you, didn't want to replace anyone, I could have two moms. Did I do okay? Is there anything else I could have said or done to make things easier for you? If I missed something, I'm sorry... I just don't want him to think I don't want him around. He's acting like he's some kind of washed up relic, but he isn't! He's my dad. We came from the same terrible place. I've lived here almost two years, so what? He lived in the original New York for 16. We both know how life can be good, and how it can be bad. Being here together doesn't change us. We carry that world with us, and everyone we lost.

Sorry, that's a lot. Everything still feels like a lot right now!

The tattoo looks a lot better now. I think it's healed good. I managed to not pick it, though I definitely scratched it. Not much at least. Now that it looks more like it should, I'm happy I did it more than ever. I haven't really shown it around, but with summer in full swing, it's time to swim, right? So I guess it'll come out.

I think I'd like it here too, even without you and everyone else from home. It does make our lives here soooo much better though :) I'll hope for the same, that people can be happy here in some way. Even little ways. (Ice cream and velvet chairs exist here. That's enough for me!)

Love,
Casey

My Casey,

Breathe, my little cub. Everything is going to be alright.

I must ask that you give the older Leonardo the space and time that he needs to adjust. I know it would be so much simpler for all of us if he could just be swept up into our arms as a happy new addition to our little family, but that wouldn't be fair of us to expect that of him just yet. You know exactly the kind of traumatizing world that he's arrived from and how complicated he must be feeling about being here instead. Just be patient, my love, and give him the space he needs.

Quite like we had to go through when I first asked to adopt you. It feels like a lifetime ago, like we were both completely different people back then, but you had every right to need time to figure everything out within your heart. That's all that Leonardo needs now. Just time to think and the reminder of how much you care for him.

As for me, please do not worry. You did everything you could to soothe me then and I have not forgotten it. Try not to misplace any of your concern over him as guilt over you doing something wrong. All you've done is love him and carve out a space for him to settle when he's ready. The rest is in his hands.

I wish I could make this easier, but I promise, it won't be like this forever.

So what you are saying is we need another family day at the lake, hm? Or perhaps a beach day instead.

(Though let us be clear, no velvet chaise is going to be half as wonderful without a giant, fluffy mother to come snuggle on it with, hm? :>)

You always make me so proud of you.

Love You Always,
Mom

Dear Mom,

I've been trying to follow your advice, promise. It's really hard, though. Giving him time, that's easier. But space? I just want to follow him around everywhere, check in on him all the time. He keeps telling me he's the parent, so it must be exhausting. I feel bad but it's hard to make myself stop. The fact that where we came from was so hard is one of the reasons I don't want to leave him alone. I remember how hard those days were. If not for you and everyone, I don't know if I would've come out of it okay. There were some pretty dark days. You all gave me hope, that I might have a future. But I'm still alive, I never died. I'm not sure how to help sensei feel that same kind of hope.

I will keep trying, though. He deserves it. He's earned the chance to live again, to have fun and experience a real life, not just war, like I did. I hope we can all help him together, and that Thirteen lets him stay long enough to get there.

I'm glad you still feel good about everything. I know I've been kinda distracted and focused on sensei for a while, but I'm not forgetting you! I'll keep visiting like always. I never want to miss out on time with Mom :) But if you ever feel neglected, please scold me. You can even ground me! (Although sensei might unground me. What's the word? Co-parent? I hope you're getting along!)

I think a day at the lake or the ocean would be really nice. The lake might be better? It's closer to your place, and everyone might have a better time with freshwater. Dad's arm can go in water, but it's heavy and the salt might mess with his joints. I'm not sure about Leo's arm, but I'm sure Donnie thought about waterproofing. We didn't have to worry about big bodies of saltwater back home.

Of course the chaise is best with you there! Whether it's cuddling or just the sound of you working in the background, it isn't the same without you around. That's why I didn't bother getting one for my place.

Love you love you love you,
Casey

My darling son, my perfect boy,

You are doing so well. Never doubt that. As long as you are being led by your heart and following the love you hold for your sensei, I know that to be true. Just continue to dig deep for that patience, alright? It will come in time. The thing to keep in mind is that we have unlimited time in this place. That alone will be such a freeing feeling to Leonardo once he's able to let himself feel that relief.

But knowing what I know of it, he's stubborn, so it will take some time. Just keep reminding him that he is still just as loved even when he's struggling as he is. He may need the reassurance.

(Though let me be clear that I will pull rank if he attempts to undermine my parenting. No one un-grounds my son but me!)

Then it's settled. A little lake date for the whole family come August, with a full lunch spread. Any requests, dearest? I can get started making a menu immediately! Does your Leonardo have the same favorite foods as the younger Leonard does? Is he as opposed to eating salads as you? Pray, I hadn't even considered I need to learn everything I can about his tastes! I will need to play catch up very quickly.

Please don't fret, I understand the importance and I am giving you the space you need. (Do you see what I did there? :> It is the same advice that I gave you to!) What time that we do get together is the most precious to me, even if it is simply sitting in my shop and listening to you tell me about your day while I work. Every moment means everything. Besides, we have forever. I can wait while you tend to your Sensei and bring him around to our side of things.

(I suppose, in a sense, it makes me his mother as well, does it not? How strange to consider.)

Anyway, I love you, darling. Be well and be good to yourself most of all.

From your feathered parent,
Mom

PALLADIUM_DRONES_COMPLETE_DISCOGRAPHY.RAR

Edited 2023-08-23 07:07 (UTC)

[!!!

INTERNAL SCREAMING]

Thank you, Donnie! I'm gonna educate my neighbours on them right away!

[AKA gonna blast the hell out of this and probably have someone banging on his door in no time.]

Heya Casey. You busy today? I've got the stuff we need for Baseball 101 if you're free!

[!!!]

I'm ready! Just tell me where!

[insert some location that definitely exists here]

Would you be up for hanging out sometime today? We could probably get food or something together.

Of course! I'd love to. Do you have a place in mind, or do you just want to walk the neighbourhood and see what sticks out? There's still so many options that I have trouble deciding.

I was thinking of walking around and seeing what caught our eye. I'm still on Luan Street right now, but, I can meet you depending on where you are.

I can go to Luan Street, no problem. Just give me a bit of time and I'll be right there!

[Already on his way over, woo- he may not be able to web-sling but his grapple helps him get around faster if there's trees or buildings, so he shouldn't take a terribly long time.]

Okay, I'll be wearing a really yellow jacket if that helps you spot me. I'll wait out by some of the food stalls for you.

[As promised, Peter is waiting for Casey, in a very yellow varsity jacket Rue gave him. He has his hands tucked in his pockets, just idly rocking on his heels.]

[Casey wanders onto the street a little while later, clad in his own varsity jacket, a teal-coloured variant. As soon as he spots Peter he laughs a little, jogging closer with a wave. He's taken to wearing his mask around the back of his head, so it's not quite as in-your-face as it would be on top.]

Hey! We match.

[Casey having the same Rue styled jacket startles a delighted kind of laugh from Peter. He visibly brightens with a smile as Casey jogs over.]

We do! I see Rue made sure you had a family jacket too.

[His eyes go wide at that. When Rue had given it to him, it hadn't had any sort of title or much explanation attached. He'd never have imagined it would be something so deep.]

A... family jacket? Are you sure?

I mean, yes-? [Peter was assuming that since Rue had given it to him alongside a heartfelt conversation.] Rue made these for Leo, Donnie, you and I. So...

[They did not! He cherishes it dearly yet he still didn't know the gift he'd really gotten, gosh.]

O-oh... [Casey touches a hand to the fabric at his chest, his tone taking on a sense of quiet wonder.] That's... really kind of them. It feels a little undeserved, considering all you guys must have been through together.

I mean, you're close with Donnie and Leo right-? You know them super well, and, Rue is Rue, they're full of a lot of love to give.

[Peter tucks his hands into his pockets with an easy kind of smile. An assurance.]

[That feels unfairly deceptive of an impression to leave, so after a momentary awkward fidget, he gently corrects,]

I know them, but... I wouldn't say we're close. Since I'm from the future, to them I'm more or less a stranger. I don't think they'd see me as family.

[He won't disagree on the Rue point, though. They very obviously have love to spare, and he's deeply grateful for that.]

Oh. [Peter blinks a little bit, thrown off to some extent.] Well, give it some time. I know they already like you a lot. We have the time and space to figure each other out here, which helps.

[Peter genuinely does mean that.]

[Somewhat of a bittersweet comfort, that one, but it isn't Peter's fault and it is a comfort nonetheless, so Casey smiles.]

Yeah... I hope so. I really- [Ugh, what is he doing?] ...I wanna be a good friend for them.

I know you will be. [Peter gently bumps their shoulders together, offering the other teenager an encouraging kind of smile.]

You feeling hungry? There seem like there are a lot of good places to eat. [Peter offers a gentle out for the conversation, a way for Casey to focus on something easier. What they had planned on doing in the first place.]

[The bump and the smile really do wonders for Casey's mood, and his own smile broadens in response. Peter's confidence just makes him want to live up to that expectation.]

I can always eat. Maybe we can follow our noses, pick whatever smells the best.

[First rule of the apocalypse: never turn down food when it's available. Or maybe the first rule is to check for Krang goo first, then eat it. Regardless, yes to food.

He starts walking down the road, falling into step with Peter, stuffing his hands in the jacket pockets. It's so nice and cozy. It's the nicest thing he's ever owned. What the heck, Rue.]

The problem is everything smells good. It makes narrowing everything down feel super impossible. [He says easily enough as his attention drifts across the stalls on display.

There is still a relief in feeling all of his senses completely. Even if it can be overwhelming at times, Peter would rather be able to smell, hear and taste everything to its fullest extent.]

Seriously... I run into that problem every day. Doesn't help that I've never had anything so I wanna try everything. It's still so weird to have to think about what to eat rather than whether you're going to eat at all.

[What a beautiful issue to have, though. Day by day he grows increasingly amazed at how small all of these problems are.

Rather than following his nose, his eyes scan for names on the menus of the stalls and shops they pass before pointing at one with a series of rolls on display. There's a sizzle of grilling food behind the front counter, and the scent of soy and teriyaki in the air.]

What's 'sushi'?

[The more they talk, the wider the scope of how bad the future had been becomes clearer to Peter.] Well, I'm glad you're here and experiencing this kind of problem. Going hungry isn't- its not super great. [He never went without in that same way. Even when May and Ben were struggling, Peter knew he usually got food first.

Sushi is a Japanese food, like- raw fish in rolls. [Peter helpfully mimes a roll shape in his hands.]

Its really good, super fresh if you go to the right place. They also have non-fish options too- [He eyes the menu to be sure.] Yeah, looks like they have tempura here too.

[Casey can only nod emphatically. It's not great! It's kind of terrible! Here he hasn't gone more than an hour with a rumbling stomach once he discovered he can just. Eat. Whenever he wants. It's kind of wild.

He's more curious about sushi than exploring the subject of food shortages any day of the week though, so he listens to Peter's explanation with interest.]

Can we try it? I always wanted to try Japanese food. Since, you know.

[His family, and the whole ninja thing. Even his mom had that history with the old Foot Clan. Call him curious to discover more about his roots.]

[Peter can relate in his own way. He's Jewish, he doesn't feel connected to it. Not since his uncle died.

He doesn't know how to even approach the topic sometimes. He doesn't participate in the culture like he could, half afraid he doesn't really belong anymore. He doesn't quite fit anywhere. He's always just slightly wrong to click in place.]

Yeah, of course- [Peter's attention settles back on the menu, eying the options.] Do... you want help picking? Like suggestions or do you want to just wing it?

There are a lot of options, and- I dunno how much fish you've had just yet.

[Casey follows his gaze, trying to parse the menu as well, but... in truth, most of the words are completely lost on him. Different species of fish mean little to him, and he doesn't know enough Japanese to understand what the terms might refer to. (Even tempura is pushing it.) He's grateful for Peter's ideas up front, as it'll probably spare him the embarrassment of ordering something completely off-base.]

I've never had fish before. Maybe, order whatever you want, we can get extra and share it?

[Peter nods at that, smiling reassuringly back at Casey.] We can just order a lot and share, see what you like best. Grab a seat and I'll order.

[He steps forward to join the line. Thankfully it isn't too long of a wait. Peter orders... an obscene amount of food. Peter is shooed away after paying, and he'll make a beeline back to Casey.]

Now we wait.

[In that time, Casey has found them a good-sized picnic table in the eating area for the food carts, whichever happens to have the nicest scenery. He smiles at Peter as he approaches, fingers idly drumming against the wood.]

I can manage waiting. Thanks for inviting me out, by the way. I keep getting a little stir crazy in the house with no work assignments, but whenever I go out on my own, I get stuck on too many choices.

[Peter settles down across from Casey easily, relaxed with the other teenager.] Hey, I'm happy to just hang out with you.

I also kinda figured we both needed to go out and do something. Trying out food is always a really good time. [At least in Peter's mind anyway.]

What kind of job do you do-? I'm kind of taking my time figuring out jobs right now. [Just being social means he and Leo can pay rent just fine honestly.]

[Casey's smile brightens at rhe first part and he nods. He's happy to hang out as well. There's so many new people, and he wants to get to know them properly.]

I didn't have a job exactly. At least, nothing with a title. I did whatever needed doing at the base, it kinda depended on who else was around and what we were gonna struggle the most with. I'd go on patrol with sensei, I went scouting for Krang monsters or scavenging supplies. And sometimes tech at the base needed repair, or they needed someone to run errands…

[He shrugs. If he tried to list all the jobs he did on the regular, he'd be here all day.]

Everybody just did whatever they could, and every day was different. For you… maybe just do whatever interests you?

[Peter listens at the description, finding it hard to imagine just how that kind of life would even really feel like.] Are you doing stuff similar here? Like, odd and end jobs-? Or just enjoying yourself trying new things?

I feel like I'm going to give you the same advice if you do want a job here. Though... having a job here feels really optional? [Sometimes Peter is amazed by how different this place is from home, much less the haunted variation of Massachusetts he met Leo, Donnie and Rue at.] As long as you're talking with people, you're going to be fine.

Ah... I don't know.

[Casey furrows his brows, mulling that over as rests his chin on his hands.]

I like trying new things, and there's so much here that I could do just about anything and it'd be new. But if it's fun, it doesn't really feel like work, and... I feel kind of wrong, not working. There's always been work that needed to be done. There was more work than we had people to do it. Sitting around doing nothing, not having to do anything... is it weird that it feels wrong?

[If he has time to sit around, he has time to train, at the bare minimum. But there isn't really anything to fight here, and once he's done his daily chores around the house he doesn't... really have anything required of him. It's sort of grating on his anxiety.]

[Peter nods a little at that, resting his elbows on the surface of the picnic table.]

Yeah, I can get that. Not doing anything just... its weird? It's nice for a break, but not long term. You start feeling antsy about it. [He's been enjoying the down time to get to know Leo more, to relax, but he has projects to work on. Eventually a job offer from Tony.]

Are there things you did back home while working that you enjoyed doing or found satisfying to do? You could probably lean into that.

Yeah, that's exactly it.

[Definitely comfort to be found in a kindred spirit of sorts. To know he's not alone in the stir-crazy feeling is... well, it's reassuring for sure.]

I used to help Un- Donnie in the lab, and he said I could help him here too, so there's that. Training with sensei... I liked learning how to do new things. It made me feel useful, but sometimes it was fun, too. [He pauses, then smiles a bit sheepishly.] Does that sound too much like work still?

You could probably try one of the colleges? [If Casey likes learning that feels like the best space to go.] You'd have classes and learn new stuff pretty much every day.

Its not work, but, it'd make you happy.

Oh... yeah, maybe. I thought about it.

[He fidgets a little, unsure.]

It might depend on how full they are. I'm still kind of iffy with crowds, and I'll probably ask too many questions...

Some schools are pretty packed, but... I think here they'd have room for smaller classes? [He offers back encouragingly.]

If it helps, school is all about asking questions.

Mm... that helps.

[A place to learn and ask questions- it's definitely a good place for him these days. Still makes him feel a bit antsy, but...]

I'll think about it. Thanks.

Yeah, take your time to think about it. All we have here is time. [Peter offers back easily.] I know I keep wanting to check them out, but the dorm part kind of makes me hesitate. I don't want to live apart from Leo.

I could take a couple classes too with you, if you wanted a study buddy. Ned and I did that with a few shared classes.

[Wait, hang on.]

Do you have to live in the dorms to go to school?

For colleges its an option. [Peter says with a shrug in kind.] Most American high schools don't do that. Here it seems like the dorms are a good idea to be close to the school.

[Peter nearly continues with that thought, only to be sidetracked as his name is called from the sushi stall.]

Lemme go grab the food. I'll be right back. [Peter pushes himself up from his seat, drifting back towards the stall.

When he returns, well, he returns with two comically large plates of sushi and tempura. He sets the plates down gingerly on the table, laying out the utensils and napkins as well.] Here, this should be enough for both of us.

[Casey is left to mull over his options as Peter gets the food, still unsure, but the moment all that food is dropped down onto the table, all thoughts of school are banished. Casey leans in at once, eyes wide, taking in the sight. To his inexperienced eyes, it looks so strange! Meat and rice wrapped in leaf? (People ate leaves even in the past??) And food coated in something crispy... he doesn't know where to start. But-]

It smells amazing... [He ducks his head down so that his nose is practically level with the table, getting up close to it all.] It looks so fancy, too.

Sushi is definitely like- a fancier meal for sure. At least in New York. [Peter offers back with a shrug. He looks over the food before he picks up a pair of chopsticks to break apart. He shakes off some loose bits of wood from the sticks before plucking up one of the rolls.]

May and I usually got Thai food way more often since there was a place near our old apartment, before we moved anyway.

[Casey watches him with the chopsticks, taking his own set and following suit once he's seen the whole process. He's eaten with chopsticks before, but never the fresh, break-apart versions.]

What food?

[Like food tied up?? Yeah that one went right over his head.]

Thai Food, it's- another cultural food. Like, this is culturally Japanese. [Peter says in kind, not surprised Casey doesn't know. He's still learning well, everything.]

Oh, Thai. [He says like he knows anything about that. Sure didn't exist in his world. But it's one more thing to add to the list- maybe he'll find recipes somewhere, who knows.] There sure are a lot of cultures...

[He's not quite sure he's ready to eat the sushi leaf yet (seriously why is it leaf) so he picks one of the tempura, taking a bite and chewing thoughtfully for all of 2 seconds. Then he stuffs another two in his mouth. THAT'S REAL GOOD-]

The world, our world- is really huge. There are so many cultures and places to see. [Peter hasn't seen what the turtles and Casey's New York is like yet, but he'll fold it in as his own without much thought. He's coming back with them, so, it's home.

He is talking whilst eating, casual as can be.] I always wanted to travel, but I only ever went to Germany with Mr. Stark when I was like fourteen.

If you want to make anything spicey, there is wasabi too, but, you need a teeny tiny amount of it on food for it to kick in. [He gestures at the dab of wasabi on the shared plate between them.]

The world always seemed so small to me. We couldn't travel very far out of the New York, since being above ground over a long distance was dangerous, especially if we tried to move a bigger group. I've never been out of state. Even if we'd gone anywhere, it wouldn't matter- everything looked the same by my time, anyway. Just a lot of dead empty space.

[He's never had spicey food before, but today is a day to be adventurous! So he smears a bit of the wasabi over a piece of sushi. Thankfully he follows Peter's advice and only adds a small amount. Otherwise he might've taken half the glob.]

I think I'd like to travel one day, too. So much of what I've heard sounds amazing.

Thankfully, the world is... a lot bigger than that. A lot less dangerous in some ways. I'm glad you get to see more of it in a different light. [Peter says quietly back with a brief frown, trying to picture what Casey had lived through, had grown up in.

It sounds... horrible, but, Casey doesn't need someone to just outright say that. He's already aware. He's dealing with the culture shock already.] To be fair, I don't know what the version of New York you guys are from is like exactly. Leo can be a little specific about what he tells me.

[He has noticed his boyfriend's tendency to pick and choose what is told to him. He's letting it be in the moment.]

[Casey's tone as he speaks of it is a mixture of reluctance and matter-of-fact simplicity; he knows it's horrible, but for him it was normal. It's a world of peace that is new and unusual to him, leaving him far more floundering than he'd like.

He considers the comment on New York, and Leo. Hmm.]

I'm not much use for that, I only saw it for maybe half a day before coming here, and most of that was spent fighting. It seemed... fine? Really loud, and way too many people. Everything was intact and there were lights everywhere you looked. [He can guess why it would be hard for Leo to talk about it, though. Things were very intense, the last time any of them were there.] You might get a more clinical description from Donnie.

[He plops the sushi into his mouth.]

[-and then lurches right backwards, falling off the picnic bench, laid flat in the grass.]

-Burning! It's burning! The sushi attacked me, be careful!

[Yeah, the wasabi's new.]

[He had some semblance of a reply in mind, then Casey falls off the bench onto the ground.]

...That would be the wasabi, actually. [Peter is relieved Casey isn't actually hurt or anything.] Do you want me to grab you some water...?

[Casey crawls his way back up onto the bench, reaching to accept the water and chugging a good half of it. It does help quite a bit, actually, so after a moment he draws it back with a heavy exhale.]

Phew... you weren't kidding...

[Maybe he'd better take it easy on the spicy stuff for now.]

That was towards the higher end of the spicy scale, so, uh- next time we'll go with something way more mild. [Peter offers back with a sympathetic scrunch of his nose.]

I'm glad I at least warned you a little before hand. [Peter could guess if Casey did a full dab, he would've keeled over.]

[He would be deceased. He's just going to try a sushi without the wasabi this time.]

So that's spice, huh. [Flavoured food sure is, uh. Adventurous. It's not a bad thing though, now that the surprise has worn off.] Where were we...?

Its one kind of spice. There are like a big variety of spicy or hot food. [Peter reaches out to pluck up a piece of sushi with his chopsticks from the plate to pop into his mouth.]

Mostly talking about New York. Nothing super serious at least.

Oh right, New York. I hope it's as nice as everyone makes it out to be. It was really... intense above ground, from what little I saw.

[He fidgets a bit.]

...Do you think they'd let me stay in the lair with them? At least for a little while...

[Peter is quite as he chews thoughtfully, May's insistence on some manners at least sticking around with the eighteen year old.]

I mean, you're family, so I don't see why they wouldn't let you stay? [He says this plainly enough, not aware of Casey's complicated history with Leo, much less the tangled mess of everything that's happened. He just feels like the Hamato's wouldn't want Casey to leave.] Leo is bringing me back with him, so, we'd both be adjusting to the lair.

[Casey's eyes widen at that. (Surprise, immediately following the little bubble of warmth at the idea that he might already be considered family, and that him being welcome is a given. It's very kind, and he hopes it's true.)]

That's right! I remember that coming up before. [Was it with Leo? Was it Peter himself? Shrug. The info is Out There.] You guys must really be close, if you'd give up your world to go with him, huh.

[He's never dated anyone before, kind of low priority for both age and the life he's led, but many relationships in the apocalypse were... short term, low commitment. For obvious reasons. And he's kind of only known single parents. Giving your life up for your partner (not in the literal sense) seems like a pretty big deal.]

[Peter later might wonder if he overstepped in speaking for Leo's family, but... it feels right. Of course Casey is a part of it. It's Casey.]

Oh- yeah- [Peter distantly remembers the conversation, though it was slightly overshadowed by Casey being shocked by the fact Peter and Leo are dating.] I think when we first met maybe? Not super sure.

I love him, so, I want to stay with him. [He fiddles with the chopsticks absently, picking up a tempura veggie.

He isn't sure if he should get into his whole... being dead thing. Casey has enough on his plate as is.] I don't have anywhere else to be anyway... [He dips the tempura'd broccoli into a bit of wasabi.] I'll always choose him anyway.

[He pops it into his mouth with little problem, not too bothered by the spiciness.]

[If Casey counts as family then Peter absolutely does. He gets full family rights. Them's the rules.

The rest of what Peter says is all very sweet, and it's obvious that he means it. It's still early enough that the idea of Leo dating anyone is a little weird for him - still figuring out how to navigate this Leo being his peer and not the larger-than-life sensei who raised him - but he at least has the sense to keep those mental hurdles to himself. Genuinely, he's happy for them.]

It's... really nice. To see sensei happy with somebody, I mean. And I'm glad that he can give you a place the belong too, if it's what you need. [He smiles a bit sheepishly.] Is it weird to feel kinda happy, knowing someone else will be in the same position? At least we can help each other...

I know its a little weird for you, but... I'm glad you approve. [He means that as well, wishing he could phrase it a bit better. Casey isn't some scary figure in Leo's life that Peter needs approval of, but he's still someone important.] It feels nice to belong somewhere. I'm happy I make him happy too.

I don't think its weird, its like- a relief, you know? Adjusting is way harder alone.

[Peter's being very kind about it, but the gentle callout still makes Casey wince a little. Yeah, he'd been... way too obvious.]

I'm sorry. [Because yeah, it's merited.] I really should've kept it together. The last thing I'd want is for anyone to think I didn't... I don't know, approve of it. Not that you'd need it.

[Certainly not from him. He could try and explain, but that would just feel like an excuse for poor behaviour.]

You're fine, Casey. [Peter answers with a little shrug.

He fiddles with his chopsticks absently again, his mind thinking back to how Not Great Tony and Leo's introduction went.] It was a way better reaction than we've had before, so, I think you're more than fine. It was kind of a shock since it was sudden for you.

We both just care about Leo, and want to see him happy, that's the main thing.

[He's not sure if that makes him feel better (who did it worse? Does he need to attempt to menace someone) but he's grateful for Peter's understanding. It definitely wasn't meant to be malicious.]

Yeah... that's true for sure. I'm still figuring out how to be around everyone, and I don't want to screw it up. But if that's what I focus on, maybe it'll be okay.

Its gonna take time I think- cause I know for sure a lot has changed for Leo, Donnie compared to when you last saw them too. Not- a lot of great stuff happened at the ADI. [He thinks back to Donnie all but forgetting Leo, to the weird mysteries they had to deal with, the whole guy turned into a bear thing- it was a lot.] I think, we all need that time to figure each other out, and find footing.

So, you aren't alone in the feeling, trust me.

[Casey is quiet at that for a moment, looking somewhat pensive as he chews his way through a few more bits of sushi.]

I haven't heard much about ADI... just that it wasn't a great place for anyone. I hope this world can be good for you guys, even if it's not as good as being home.

If you ever want to ask any questions, feel free to. I'll tell you what I did know. They didn't exactly tell us much. [Peter fiddles with his chopsticks again, trying to decide how he feels about the ADI after all this time. The sense of freedom, peace- relief is such a stark contrast to where he was before.]

It wouldn't be bad to stay a long while, so Leo, Donnie, Raph and Rue can enjoy all of this.

[He considers the offer. Does it count as going behind their backs if Peter was there to see it? Probably not, but it still feels weird to ask about what happened. Hmm.]

Is there anything you want to talk about it? Or- anything I should know?

[No one's obligated to share with him, but his priority is and always will be his family. He wants to be able to help them, if they need it.]

It'd probably be good if you knew about a specific thing. [Peter rests his elbow against the tabletop. His usual ravenous appetite squelched for the moment as he frowns.] I'm not even sure why this happened, but... Donnie forgot Leo existed at all.

He remembered the rest of their family, but not Leo. It lasted for a long time too.

[Casey's eyes widen at that, quietly horrified.]

They had the power to do that?

[Poor Leo...]

The entities there caused a lot of bad stuff. People going crazy, changing shape, disappearing... [Peter answers with a deepening frown.]

Donnie remembered, thankfully, but it was... not great. [Leo had struggled with that, and all Peter could do was try to support him as a friend then.]

I- I can imagine. [It's not the same, but considering he's been dealing with a similar feeling of being the only one 'forgotten' by his family? He can deeply sympathize with how it must have hurt.] I'll... try to keep that in mind. That isn't something that anybody would be able to shrug off fast, even sensei.

[Though he'd fake it like the best of them.]

I can guess it... didn't really help things with them, but, they're figuring things out. [Peter is staying firmly out of Donnie and Leo's months long spanning argument.] It was already hard for them and Rue, and then that happened too.

Because they're not human?

[Easy to see the common denominator there. Earth of the past was... weird... about mutants and yokai.]

Yeah, the ADI really wasn't... friendly to non-humans. [Peter is aware he was mostly human enough, he was fine. He was mutated, but not outwardly. He was fine.]

The ADI started falling apart towards the end, and everyone was starting to break away to go on their own, but, the non-humans had nowhere else to go.

[Casey frowns tightly.]

I'm glad they came here then... that all of us did. No one cares if someone's human or not here.

[Who knows if he'd have met Peter or Rue otherwise. It's still not a perfect scenario - they're missing half the family - but at least they can be themselves.]

Its the biggest positive here, next to the freedom everyone has. I don't know what Thirteen is planning exactly, but... I'm thankful.

[He blows out a breath.] Sorry, this is probably way heavy to talk about over lunch. We're supposed to be hanging out.

You don't have to apologize. Hanging out doesn't mean it can't be serious. Otherwise, how are you supposed to share the big stuff with friends?

[Not that he's an expert at hanging out or friends his age, but it's a simple enough concept. Still, if Peter wants to lighten the subject, he won't object.]

[Peter blows out a short amused huff at Casey's point, his lips briefly quirking into a smile.] Okay, yeah, that's true- I just felt bad for getting so serious when we're trying new foods. We are friends, and its something worth talking about.

If we get introspective and serious every time we eat sushi, then we'll say its the sushi's fault. [He jokes idly back.]

[Casey laughs; clearly he's not that bothered about the seriousness of the prior topic. At the very least he bounces back quickly. In his world, if you can't recover from the more unhappy times and find cheer somewhere, you'll just always be miserable.]

Poor sushi, first it has wasabi to contend with, and now this.

These fish never deserved this. [Peter picks up another piece to pop into his mouth. He talks with his mouth full.] Though they are delicious like this.

It is pretty tasty. Good call on letting me try it out.

[He could really get used to eating stuff like this.]

We'll find the next thing to try out later, because there are so many options. Almost endless options honestly.

Fusion food will probably blow your mind.

What's that?

[Are you sick of him asking what things are yet?]

Fusion Food is when someone decides to combine two kinds of super different foods together to make something new. Like... Japanese and Mexican food, or Korean and Southern food. Its like a whole a whole sub section of restaurants.

[Never, Peter is happy to just hang out with Casey.]

Oh, wow... I'd like to try that, too. Though maybe I should make sure I try the original first? So I can appreciate the combination.

[There's already so many different types of food, and now there are combinations too!? Incredible. People are so creative.]

We need to figure out what you want to try next and go from there. Then fusion. [A plan is forming. A food plan.]

If Japanese and Mexican are a good fusion, we could start there?

[Since they're currently eating Japanese, that's half the equation done.]

Yeah, that'll be good! I'm sure Epiphany has at least one fusion place with that here. I mean... it has everything. [Peter is still trying to hit every food stall and stand he can. He assumes his whole spider metabolism is just extra hungry for some reason, unaware he's going to hit a growth spurt soon.]

That's true. Even just walking down the street earlier, it was kind of overwhelming. I might start working my way down the whole line of them if I can't decide what to eat.

[Though he ought to be cooking more. He won't get better if he always chickens out.]

Applause

[....sir this is a text]

Do you want video evidence or can I just tell you I'm clapping on my end?

I suppose I can take you at your word for now.

Your weapon is ready. Come thither

[He's lucky this is text because the NOISE he makes]

I'll be right there!

[He is R U N N I N G he is grappling he would run across the whole lake if he could in order to get to Satori Hills]

[Opens the window, assuming Casey will not want to bother with four flights of stairs or wait for the elevator. ...puts the welcome rug under the window. Don't you dare get dust or dirt in his lab.]

[Oh that's so thoughtful. Casey can see the open window as he swings from the next building over, so it isn't long before there's a thunk of a grapple hitting a few floors up, and a second thunk has Casey grabbing onto the sill and climbing in.]

It's really done? You're so fast! ...Hi, also.

[He's yanking at his boots on the mat.]

[Still startles at the loud THUNK against the building, but not as badly as he could've since he was expecting it to occur sooner or later. Donnie picks up a boxy rod the length of a femur from his worktable and holds it out to Casey, not bothering to get up from his chair.]

The designs actually weren't overly complex. The functions are limited, which I imagine was on purpose in order to keep field repairs to a minimum and to conserve resources. [Donnie points at it.] I still haven't been able to crack future-me's programming language so it might not be able to communicate with your mask, but it does sync up to my own gear at least.

[Honestly he assumed Donatello would take longer because his other projects would take priority, but he's certainly not about to say that, nor would he protest the gift. He accepts the rod with a grateful smile, gazing down at it in amazement.]

It's okay if they can't talk. It was supposed to mostly work on its own anyway, in case the mask was damaged.

[Looking down at the new version, he's genuinely impressed. It's been ages since it looked so... clean. He'd been using the old one for several years, and it'd been as new as anything could be twenty years into an apocalypse, but since then it'd been damaged and repaired so many times it was looking cobbled by the end, even if it still functioned just as well as ever thanks to Donnie's skilled design.

He takes a few steps back to make sure he's not about to damage anything in the room, then activates it so it extends to full size and revs up. Gleaming blades spin around the end, a sound both familiar and achingly nostalgic. This new version looks exactly the same as the old one, or near enough he can't tell, and more importantly it feels right. He can remember the first time he'd held it in his hands and felt it vibrate all up and down his arms, a heaviness he'd had to get used to. Listening with quiet wonder to the instructions for its maintenance and use. How pleased Uncle Tello had been that he loved it. (The manic laugh he'd heard two rooms over when sensei and Raph saw it for the first time.)

I could hug you, he thinks. He does not.]

Amazing... it's amazing! You're amazing! [He drags his attention away from the chainstick to grin at Donnie.] Thank you!

[Maybe Donnie prioritized once he got a good look at the plans, just because it was this incredibly curious mixture of familiar and new. It's almost as if he could see his future self's thought process in the plans; why he put what component where, how he designed the grip to fit, the chain to keep the teeth from snagging. A little surreal, but fascinating overall, to recognize himself in a blueprint he's never even touched.

There's also that. The look on Casey's face, the appreciation in his voice. Donnie's not exactly world-class when it comes to picking up on particular cues, but Casey is looking at him like he's ten feet tall, like he's a hundred years of wisdom and knowledge. Like he's greater than he is...or like he's just as great as Donnie knows he can be.

Donnie sits in his chair, leg crossed over his knee, watching Casey test the chainstick before clutching it to his chest and beaming at Donatello. You're amazing! He is, isn't he? Why does it feel so strange to hear, then? Maybe it's that look on his face, that uncomfortably open admiration.

Wow, Dee! I can't believe you got the mixer working again! These things are like five hundred dollars, I can't wait to use it!

Donnie tilts his head.] You're welcome. It's good, then? Balance is okay? Let me know right away if anything needs to be tweaked, don't just deal with it. [Casey can probably make his own adjustments on it, but...maybe Donnie wants to be responsible for that.]

Oh, sure.

[He hadn't actually planned on bothering Donnie with maintenance requests, but Donnie's not the type to offer to do work he isn't interested in, so. Huh.

He shuts down the whirring chainsaw and flips the safety, taking a few moments to examine the finer details now that he's done the initial test drive and cursory glance. The craftsmanship and assembly are expert, which isn't a surprise considering the engineer in front of him. It was never going to be an exact copy, as this world has so many more resources than the future had to offer, but it really is astonishing how close Donnie came to his first weapon. He can't call this better or worse than the old one, it's just... different in a way he struggles to quantify. Sort of like a mirror image: the same, but different enough that he can recognize something's changed. It takes him a bit for it to click: the quality is improved. He'd always loved it and found it perfect for him, but Uncle Tello had made the occasional comment about being unsatisfied with something or another, mostly material-related. This feels like the version he would've liked to make, with fewer limits, in a better world.

He swings it a few times, feeling the weight as it moves through the air, and spins it between his fingers and around his arm, not unlike how Donatello might've wielded his own staff. It wobbles oddly the first time, but when he catches it and tries again, the movement is smoother.]

The balance is different, but I had to replace the guide bar of the old one with a different metal last year, so I got used to the weight being off. This is more like the original. [He holds it balanced on both palms, hefting it experimentally, then nods.] Bit of training, and it'll be good.

[It's not as if Donnie spends his time bo training in front of a mirror, but he's definitely done it often enough to know what the feeling looks like. And what Casey is doing over there, it has some of his flair.

...weird.]

-excellent, [Donnie says after he recovers, clearing his throat and spinning in his chair to face his workbench. It's just a strange thing to accept on a level deeper than surface, that this kid actually did grow up around them, and they got older. Even if Casey Sr. had a baby nine months from now (yikes), Donnie would still be in his thirties by the time Casey is fifteen. Too weird.] If you kill anyone with that, I've never seen it in my life. [except for the fact where it's got the logo he slaps all over his shit right on the handle lmao]

[Casey makes a face at that, entirely missing whatever just happened, too busy messing around with the new staff.]

Usually try to avoid killing people, but sure. Lips are zipped.

[Infected Krang monsters who are still mostly people are a weird acceptable middle ground, and he did chainsaw one of the Foot Clan in the face trying to get the Key, but you know. Desperate times. (They're probably fine.)

He relaxes his posture at last, clicking the switch to transform the staff back into its more portable mode, tucking it away in its usual spot at his belt.]

So... what do you want for it? Is this for the lab work, do you need me to get something for you, do I owe you a favour...?

[Not accusatory or anything; he's very matter-of-fact in his tone. Reciprocity is important, after all. Donnie's future self might've made it a gift, but while he's been at times too presumptuous about the past versions of the turtles, he's not so bold to assume Donnie's being charitable to him this early.]

[squints at in confusion] You're already working for me, yes? [Like, under the table, not like a legal employee whose paperwork he needs to file]

Edited 2023-09-19 01:35 (UTC)

[Much as he'd love to call it working with, not for, now is really not the time for nuance or argument. He doesn't want chainstick privileges revoked, they're still in Donnie's apartment.]

Y...es? Unless firing me is on the table.

Unlikely. I need someone who can tell the difference between a spanner and a screwdriver, and individuals who meet that criteria are in depressingly short supply. [Waves Casey's concerns aside, unbothered.] Just take it. It was fun to work off of future me's designs, anyhow.

[It's a very Donatello answer, which makes it easy to accept. Caught up in the moment, Casey takes a step towards him, his arms beginning to move, but almost just as quickly he catches himself and takes that same step back. His clumsy aborted gesture has him frozen for a moment, unsure how to correct, and eventually overcorrects with a bow.]

Then, thank you again! I really appreciate it. Do you need any work done right now? If not, I'll get out of your way.

[He's assuming the answer is going to be no since Donnie is basically always busy, and in truth he really wants to go out and train with it, but he'd kick himself later if he didn't ask.]

[Casey gets the briefest of wary up-down eyes at that almost hug gesture, but it's aborted soon enough. Into a bow, which is..........weird. Did not enjoy literally any of that specific segment of interaction.]

I don't need you right now, so you can go. [Please go.]

[Message received, loud and clear, and for the first time the feeling is mutual- he has some complicated feelings to work through that he absolutely knows Donatello wants no part in.

With a quick turn on his heels, Casey grabs his shoes and jumps right out the window, still grinning like a goof. He's gone!]

[Immediately after Casey's newest letter, Rue appears at his new home in Gram, knocking politely at the door, a basket tucked under the wing.]

[He'd be tempted not to answer - he's running kind of high on emotions, understandably, and may not be very good company - but seeing Rue through the window means he can't possibly refuse. He opens the door, looking surprised to see them. He wouldn't have blamed them if they'd wanted to put some space between them following his word-vomit letter (that he immediately regretted sending as soon as it was out of his hands and he had the empty space to start worrying about it).]

Rue, hi. Um. You want to come in?

Do you have the time? I would hate to interrupt. It's only you said that you were nearby, so how could I not come over to welcome you?

[Among other things.

But the owlbear's expression isn't pinching with worry. Instead, they look calm and collected, a gentle smile reflecting in their eyes at seeing Casey again.]

[They look worried. A part of him had hoped they hadn't gotten his letter yet and their visit was just coincidence, but he's suspecting that's... not the case. He feels guilty, if he's gone and made them worried about him. Which is crazy! They have nothing to worry about. He's fine. Just feeling a little dramatic today. Or. Something.

He'll just have to put on his very best "I am fine" smile and step aside to let them in, gesturing towards the interior- the living room or kitchen is in view for easy access, and they can choose where to go.]

I don't mind at all. You might, though. I'm not sure I'm a very good host yet. Don't really know what I'm doing.

[Most of that is due to his not really having much as far as a welcoming home goes. Rue's place is beautiful and decorated, made cozy by their presence and the way they've allowed their character to reflect in the space they've made their own. Casey's still figuring out what 'home' is, and between having no concept of what it means to decorate and moving three times since arriving in this world, his house so far is 'sparse' at best; boring would be more accurate. Basic furniture, whatever colour he'd found it in, mostly empty. There are a few little flavours: his cloak hung by the door and the jacket they'd given him right next to it, his mask on the kitchen table, a collection of books on a shelf. The place is clean almost to a military degree.

Casey is at least dressed more casually. He'd taken their advice and gone shopping, and while he might not be up to their standards of fashion, the loose drawstring pants and oversized sweater is decidedly more cozy than his standard gear. Very stay-in-and-read-a-book outfit.]

[It may not be as warm and bright and welcoming as their home, but the militaristic sparseness of it certainly tugs at Rue's heart. It is how Hob kept his quarters, before they'd moved in to cohabitate, his room a simple bedroll on the floor and his clothing kept perfectly pressed in an otherwise empty closet. The only personal effects and color had come from trinkets from Rue themself, but otherwise, he'd been quite firm on not needing another thing. So maybe the sparseness of Casey's temporary lodgings aren't quite as cold as some might feel they are.

Besides, the little personal touches make the space his already.]

You don't need to worry about playing host, my friend, I only wanted to see you. I thought, if you were inclined, we could take a walk together.

[To catch some fresh air, to see the sights and feel nature's lush presence, before Rue brings up the contents of his letter. They do not want another birthday party incident on their paws. Casey deserves a bit more delicacy than that.]

Oh, uh. Oh! Yeah, that sounds good. [He hasn't gone outside today yet, and he probably should, if only to pretend he did something substantial with his day. He looks down at himself. He's... mostly presentable, he thinks? Actually, better ask an expert.] Should I get changed?

[rue gives him a quick up and down. appearance is very important ok.]

Not at all, I think you are adequately dressed for a quick walk through the forest. And you look too comfortable anyway, I would hate to make you change.

[Well, that's one saving grace for his day: Rue approves of his outfit. Or at least accepts it. He'll take that over 'change immediately, you're embarrassing to walk with'. (It doesn't sound like something Rue would say, but they do take fashion seriously, so.)

Quickly he scoots down and pulls his shoes on, then rises to grab his mask and bind it onto his belt. Maybe one day he'll be comfortable leaving his home without it, but it won't be any time soon. At least he's graduated from wearing it on his head all the time. (Baby steps.) Once he's ready, he'll lead them back outside, only long enough to close the door behind them.]

You know the neighbourhood best. Where to?

[Rue would absolutely say that, only a lot more kinder. And it would be less of a demand and more of their idea of dressing up for adventure. It's all in perspective.]

I was thinking the station. [Rue smiles gently as Casey returns, before turning to lead him away down the path.] You need a flower crown.

[His eyes widen at that, then grow bright, as considerable cheer enters his expression. By now he certainly doesn't have to say it, as it can practically be assumed: he's never had one before. He falls into easy step beside them, a subtle bounce to his movement, hands dipping into his pockets.]

Will you teach me how to make one?

[It is only by repetition alone that Rue does not immediately gasp at the very idea that Casey has never made a flower crown before. Of course he has not.

There is still so much for this boy to catch up on.]

I certainly can, but here, let us stop by my home and make our crowns first, before we head to the station. Then we may be able to trade the ones we craft for another's. A show of community.

Commodity? ...Oh... oh! I think I get it. [Idly he scuffs a hand through his hair, taking note of how bare it feels without his mask. Maybe the feel of a crown will help.] Is that why I get weird looks when I go shopping?

[There were an awful lot of people who have them in Gram, now that he thinks about it. Paying attention to specifics in culture is still fairly new to him as well, so it's easy to miss even the obvious nuances.]

Community, [they repeat gently back, patient as always, a giant paw coming to rest carefully at Casey's shoulder while they walk together.]

But I imagine that what you speak of is correct, even if sounds exceptionally rude of them. But flowers in general are very important to all of those who live here. Crowns are given freely to anyone visiting, so I imagine showing up with our own, we will be accepted immediately. Especially if we gift ours to newcomers coming off of the train.

[He's flustered by the mix-up, but their gentle correction helps mollify that awkwardness enough that he can nod and shrug it off.]

I want to make a good one, then, so it's a fair trade. And to make up for not paying enough attention before.

[He is so eager to do right by the world, even when the world has so clearly not done right by him. But Rue will not dim that light of his, even if he owes no one anything.]

Then we shall make the very best crowns possible. How lucky you are to be with an expert in crafting them. Come along, I know just the flower patch.

[And Casey lives so close by now that the walk isn't long at all, before Rue is conjuring up a soft blanket for the pair to kneel on, an assortment of blue and pink and purple flowers for them to choose from.]

You know, making flower crowns was one of the first things I ever learned to do.

[He follows them closely, sitting cross-legged on the blanket once it's in place and leaning in to peer at some of the flowers around them. He knows he's indeed very lucky, and he's ready to learn from the best.]

Really? Like when you were little?

[Pardon him while his imagination tries to conjure a little baby owlbear fey. Rue is so big as they are now, thinking about them being small and cute is almost too much. (Incredibly sweet, though.)]

[Unlike the rest of their kind, Rue has never once turned their talons on another living creature, not even in defense. Expertly slicing through sewing thread and flower stems though? That they can do.

Within moments, there is a pile of freshly cut flowers settled between them, Rue sorting them into piles of different colors, just to make the process easiest for a beginner. Less thinking, more feeling.]

Here, we will take one flower of each color so that you have three in your hand. [Rue demonstrates with plucking three up with their talons, carefully cradling the stems in their paw.] I have kept the stems long so that we can braid them together. The foundation of any good flower crown is not the flowers themself, but the stems we use to create the structure. Blooms and greenery can be tucked in and added later, but if the stems are too frail, the whole thing will collapse.

[It must be a little fascinating to watch how Rue works considering their giant paws, how precisely they braid the stems without slicing a single one.]

Mmhmm, [they hum, finishing off that first inch of a braid and then showing Casey how to add in a new flower, right over the center one, and braiding that into the base of the crown too, slowly extending it out into a strong circlet.] I was but a cub when I was taken by the fey. At first, they saw me as a pet of theirs, but as soon as I was awakened by the fey magic, I was allowed more freedoms. I was educated, taught magic, etiquette, given a name, and a place among their people. I do not know what their original intention for me was, but my interests always laid in decorating, in fashion, in the art of making things beautiful, I suppose.

[as they reach for another flower, Rue pauses to show Casey a perfect example of a bad stem, one that is too flimsy to hold, before Rue is setting that one aside and reaching for another.]

It was one of the first things I learned, to create silly little bracelets and crowns that would fall apart, always covering myself in flowers to feel more dainty and less like an outsider.

[Casey listens to their directions carefully, following step by step as they demonstrate. It is fascinating to watch them weave so expertly with their claws, especially when he has ten perfectly serviceable digits that feel like the most clumsy things in the world in comparison. His dexterity has always worked best when relying on objects: repair and assembly tools, or weapons, things he can hold and navigate within a project or against his foes. Flower stems are a very unorthodox tool to work with. Flimsy and pliant, still full of life and ready to spring loose and resist his tying. It's different from twisting wires together.

It's not rocket science either, though, and braids are a simple enough process that he begins to get the hang of it. His are not exactly elegant, nor is he fast in building it up, but they hold together decently. It means he can focus more on the rest of what Rue has to say. He doesn't like the idea of them being kept as a pet, but at least the other fey let Rue grow beyond that after they 'woke up'.]

I can imagine it. Covering yourself in flowers. [He smiles at them briefly, before his gaze lowers back to his crown-in-progress, twining the stems around each other. The movement is calming; he can understand why Rue would suggest it. Even the scent of this place is far more pleasant than the musty smell of a house unlived in until recently. It's good to be outside.] You've really mastered it since then... making things beautiful. You always are, and you never hold back on making other people look better, too.

[If it was anyone but Casey, Rue would clack their beak at them in mild protest of the flattery, but there is no doubt in their heart that the young boy is only speaking the absolute truth as he knows it, not simply trying to butter them up.

So instead, their expression turns fond as they smile over at him, admiring the way his crown is coming together.]

I'm sure it was quite the sight, a round owlbear cub sprinkled from beak to talon in forget-me-nots, not that very much has changed since then. But thank you, your kindness is always appreciated, Casey.

[Now that he has the basic idea down, Rue's paws fly through the process automatically, barely having to give it a thought as they tuck new blooms into the crown.]

Let it be said though, that for all of the mastery I possess now, it took me dozens of years, maybe even a hundred or so, before I could manipulate flowers without shredding them to pieces with my talons. It is a vague memory, but I remember feeling hopeless over it, crying over my imperfect works of art, how I would place a crown upon my head and it would crumble apart. I was devastated, frequently.

[Without any warning, Rue raises their crown, picking up the flower with the flimsy stem they discarded earlier and carefully tucking it right into the front of the crown, where the bright blue petals fit in seamlessly against a backdrop of pink and purples. And then, with it now fully complete, Rue takes the crown and plops it delicately onto Casey's head. Their talon gently bumps at his nose.]

Sometimes no matter what you do, no matter how you may try to force something to work, it may feel as if you do not fit in. But I promise, my dearest, one day you will wake up and find all of your stress was for naught. I can not imagine the devastation of feeling as if you are an outsider among your own family, but Casey, you must hear my words when I tell you it will work out in the end. You just need to be patient, to be gentle with both your and their feelings.

Just because you are making new memories together, does not mean you need to bury the old. Just because a flower's stem is too weak to use in the foundation, does not mean the bloom itself is any less important.

[And just like that, his letter is acknowledged, and beneath the flower crown Casey goes stark still.

He listens to them speak, though the whole time his gaze is transfixed to his lap, his hands curled and frozen around his woven flowers. He's been doing this all wrong from the start, hasn't he? Sharing what he shouldn't, hiding what he shouldn't. Calling Leo the greatest ninja, telling Michelangelo of his peerless mystic abilities, referring to April as commander, placing titles upon them that they hadn't yet earned but might someday, if they didn't have to cave in under the pressure. Not telling them that he cared deeply for them, even if they didn't know him, that he wanted to stay with them and fight by their sides. That he wanted to make up for his mistakes (accidental, benign, and devastating, all). That he wanted to get to know them all over again. That they didn't have to be sensei or masters or commanders, they didn't even have to be his family if he never earned that place with them a second time. They just had to be themselves.

"You just need to be patient, to be gentle with both your and their feelings."

What are they, though? His feelings. He'd been so focused on the mission since arriving in the past, and then the mission was accomplished, and then he was brought here and everything's been new, new, new. Every day something new. (He'd been trying, he'd been keeping that promise. This is today's new thing. There's always something.) The distractions have spared him from having to overthink it too much, from having to reflect on everything he had and everything he lost. On everything he has now and how the pieces don't quite fit into the puzzle anymore. Or one piece doesn't. Maybe it will someday. He just has to find a new space to occupy.

Slowly, his fingers begin to remember how they work again, and he reaches out to pluck two flowers from the piles, one blue, one purple. He spins them between his fingers, thinking about the fight the twins are still in the midst of. They're not quite in sync anymore, shifting and changing in the aftermath of whatever caused that disarray, but they're still family. They still love each other.

He still loves them. It's just that the wavelength is off.]

I don't... want to. I don't want to forget, or bury them. They're... [His hand trembles a little, and he curls his other around it, steadying it so he doesn't crush the blooms.] It just hurts a lot... to miss them.

[Rue is patient while they wait for Casey to process all of this, to allow himself to feel the full depth of his feelings, to dig deeper into every thought. One of the greatest perks of being so long-lived is knowing when to simply be and wait for the rest of the world to catch up with you. It does not bother Rue, quietness is an old friend at this point, even if their new home so frequently feels empty because of it, but they can sit and wait for Casey to work through this, however long he needs.

When he does speak again, his small hands trembling with emotion, Rue reaches out to engulf them with their own paws, gently enveloping his hands and the blooms, in a careful nest of feathers.]

I know it does, darling. And I will not lie to you and say that that feeling simply goes away. It is a reality of the life we live, that sometimes we must carry on with the memories of others who are no longer here with us.

But I will promise you that it will get easier, that the pain will dull, that soon the friends and family you've made in this place, will fill up those missing spaces in your chest that have been left aching. And more than that, please, come to me when you are feeling lonely, when you miss them especially. I would be delighted to sit with you and hear your every memory of them.

[because there may be memories the current turtles do not want to hear, are not ready to hear, but Casey still deserves a place to speak openly and freely about them.]

It can be difficult, to reminisce about those not currently in your life, but I promise that you have my full attention anytime, whether you need someone to listen, someone to discuss with, or perhaps even, just a hug.

[He shows no resistance to their pull, simply slumps into it, tilting sideways to rest against their pillowy fur and feathers as they hold his hands. Their words strike a chord, kind and true, and even if it's not unexpected, he appreciates it nonetheless. The reality of their lives, to carry on and remember those who are gone. It's a lesson he knows well, of course, albeit it not always spoken aloud but felt as he grew up. It was in the memorials they held for the fallen. It was in children left orphaned like himself, crying and asking where their parents had gone, whether a mission had been successful or not. It was in how Commander O'Neil had held him just a little too tightly one day and handed him his mask, telling him the mother he no longer remembers was never coming back. It was in vigils held for Master Raphael, for Uncle Tello. People died. Everyone died. You picked yourself up and kept fighting, for them, for everyone still alive. Giving up was worse.

And he'd done it. He'd lost the last survivors of his world, of his family, and he kept fighting. But the fight was over now and it was so, so much harder than it was before. He can't drown his grief by chainsawing a Krang zombie anymore. This world is wonderful and so fun and it's distracting in its own way, but sometimes he wonders: why him? What does he do now? How does he live without them?

No one's giving orders, now. Whatever he does, it's on him to lead. Even if all he's leading is his own life. That's... still pretty scary.]

...There's... something I can't tell them, [he finally whispers, almost too quiet to be heard normally, in a thick voice. Their big owlbear ears should have no trouble, though.] And I- I know I should talk about it. I want to be able to say it. [So often the words have been in his throat, burning a hole there, screaming to be heard, and he could never say it. He's thought it, and thought it, and thought it, and never.] I'm not... [Ready.] -But if I say it, it's real, and they'll never hear it, and...

[He won't get an answer. That's the worst of it, isn't it? He'll never know what they might say. What sensei might say. But the thought is there, and the words begging to be acknowledged. By him, by anyone.]

...I don't know what I'm saying, [he admits after another pause, sitting up a little to look at them, drawing comfort by their gentle looming presence around him. He's always felt comforted in the company of those who dwarf him, because it meant his family was there.] But... when I'm ready to say it, I think it'll be with you.

[Not if. He's not letting himself create that escape for himself. It won't be today, maybe not tomorrow or a month from now, but he'll douse that burning and make himself say it one day. At least with Rue, it wouldn't feel awkward. He wouldn't have to feel like he said it expecting an answer from them.]

[It's true, Rue's sharp hearing picks up those nearly inaudible whispers, even with Casey's voice choked with emotion and maybe a touch of his own terrible fear. There's more that he can not tell them yet, but after all that they have heard thus far, Rue can imagine the burden of carrying that secret alone has been weighing on him for a very long time. Without pause, their head tips gently against his while the boy continues to speak, as he rests against their feathers.

Their paws do not budge, do not dare to move for fear that Casey will tremble without them there.]

That truth will rest safely within your own heart until you are ready to share, so do not feel pressured by anyone else to speak it before you are ready. It is your choice alone on when and how it comes out. And dearest, I would be honored to there at your side when you finally feel safe to share it. But rest assured, I am happy to be at your side even before then, without explanation, if you ever just need the quiet presence or feathery hug of a friend.

[They mean every word. Casey will feel no pressure to share whatever knowledge he is holding, but Rue's offer to simply sit with them when the burden is too difficult, to seek out their wings for comfort when he feels he might break.

They are here for him, whatever he needs.]

[He looks down again, at their hands clasped gently around his own. An ignorant or inexperienced person might've felt fear to be held by such huge talons, huge paws, but for him it only makes him remember how, years ago, two small hands reached out and pressed against palms as big as his whole head, green, three-fingered. Four sets, all so different yet so similar at once, varying in size and strength and gentleness, but never love. There was always love. Big hands, huge hearts, and a belief that family was everything.

Casey closes his eyes for a long moment, allowing the rest of his senses to take over. The scent of grass and flowers in the air. The steady rise and fall of Rue's breathing at his back. The sound of nature around them, birds in the trees, buzzing insects. The taste of something heavy in his throat that he has to swallow. It's good. It's peaceful. And with Rue's words acting as a low-pressure invitation, for whenever he might be ready, their company and kindness are the greatest comforts.

A steady wave of relaxation washes over him, as if admitting he had a secret was confession enough to ease that tension, and he nods slowly, wrestling with a smile before he defeats it, eyes opening to offer a more serene expression to Rue. It's not a cure for sadness, not by a long shot. Nothing is ever that easy. But he feels decidedly better, and for him that's usually enough.]

Thank you... I won't forget. [How could he? He turns his hands to give their paws a soft, appreciative squeeze, mindful of the flowers. If they need reassurance that it's safe to let go, no more trembling, consider that a signal given.] Can I tell you a funny story?

[The only true cure for sadness is time, which Casey has plenty of here within this world. Rue trusts that as long as he takes it at his own pace, he will be just fine.

Casey gives them permission to release him and Rue does right after that tender squeeze, but that only means their paws are free now to dance carefully over his face, gently brushing the hair from his eyes, tucking it behind his ears, just doting over him with feather-light touches.]

I would love to hear one. Please go on.

Edited 2023-09-21 06:24 (UTC)

[O-oh, the fussing… Casey endures it with a quiet, shy smile, instinctively tilting his head into the touch. It's been a long time since someone did that. Somewhat distracted, it takes him a moment to remember what he was about to say.]

About three years ago, Un- uh, Donnie was working on a special project that would make the Krang, and I quote, "tangle those tentacles". He was researching how to mess with their sensors, so we could get around safer without alerting their dog monsters. He ended up making this, uh, pheromone? It made the dogs think they'd found us, but instead of our base, it'd lead them to a trap, which went off right in their faces- and the whole pack would go running home crying. Donnie figured out they were allergic to some chemical we found underground.

[His hands go back to weaving his flower crown, trying to finish it. It's not looking half bad actually.]

The best part is, since the dogs were made of Krang, that meant it was the Krang that were allergic. The dogs would roll on the ground, all over the Technodrome, even on the Krang themselves. So the next time we fought them… [He grins, as if they'd played a tremendous prank rather than tried to hold off a world endind apocalypse.] They showed up covered in huge purple pimples all over their faces, and spitting mad.

[Which is of course very offensive to one (1) purple turtle who would trademark that shade if he could.]

[Rue does not necessarily laugh at the story, but their whole expression softens even more, affection curling at the edges of their heart-shaped face, total adoration reflected in their eyes. It does not matter what iteration of Donatello it is, Rue loves that turtle so very much.

As he speaks, while Casey's attention drifts back down to the delicate flowers in his hands, Rue lets one of their doting paws pull back while the other just rests there at his shoulder. They don't want to be too overbearing or get in the way of his work, but the need to protect and comfort Casey persists, so just a gentle paw, that's all.]

That is funny. [Even without laughter, there's no doubt a spark of humor glinting there in their expression.] And how very true to the Donatello that I know! He is too bright, I sometimes feel as if I can hardly keep up. But it's comforting, isn't it? That for all that does change, there will always be so much that never does.

[Like before, he doesn't pull away from the paw, but rather keeps leaning towards it, enjoying the continued contact as he works. One more blue and purple flower, and he's about to tie it off into a circlet at last.]

Out of everyone, he's... the most like himself. There's differences, of course, but I can look at him and see where the Donnie I know came from. I... [His brows furrow, trailing off into another moment of silence, then shakes it off.] It's hard to keep my distance, because of that. To start over at zero. I just wanna hug him so bad sometimes! But you know how he is.

[He's a little shy about saying it, but Rue's heard the truth now, and it's easier to admit it. And Donnie is different in that sense. Leo would probably let him hug, in a pinch. Mikey and Raph, almost certainly. Donatello... yeah, no.

Finally, he lifts his finished flower crown, holding it up towards Rue's head, though they're too tall to reach where he is.]

Edited (finally finally finally) 2023-09-25 05:36 (UTC)

[Rue can see it, how much easier the words flow from Casey every single time that they talk. It's nice to see the proof of the trust that's been building up between them, to see Casey feel less terrified of saying the wrong thing.]

I do indeed. It took some time for us to come to an arrangement regarding hugs, but I am quite pleased that he'll suffer through them at all simply for my sake. [and just a touch gentler] It means a great deal to me.

[But then Casey presents his crown and lifts it, so Rue dips their head down to meet him halfway.]

Oh Casey, look how lovely it looks. What do you think? Shall we make another pair so we have a few to give away on our walk? I should very much like to keep this one, if you'll allow me.

[Their words net them another shy smile from him; he's visibly pleased and a little flustered by the idea that they want to keep his mediocre little flower crown. He's quick to nod.]

Of course! It's yours now, you can do whatever you want with it. [Carefully he lifts a hand to the crown on his own head, adjusting its position. He'd wanted to keep the one they made for him, so it's fair to do the same. He likes the idea of making another and keeping these. There's no shortage of flowers, that's for sure.]

[Just the reaction they were hoping for. He should be pleased and proud, it's a gorgeous crown, with such pleasing colors and such a strong foundation. The little details will come in time, now that he has the basics, he can customize them however he likes.]

Perfect, I think this shall be an excellent start to our day.

[A little emotional breakdown, then some flower crown making, then getting to see the sights all around town together. Rue could not ask for a better day.]

Casey, may I ask a favor?

[No longwinded pleasantries? Rue must be stressed out]

[Oh that is concerning, actually. He'd been about to reach out after receiving their letter, too.]

Of course, anything. What is it?

[this is humiliating in all sorts of ways]

May I borrow a comb?

[...That is not what he expected.]

Sure, I don't mind. I can bring it over right away. Would a brush be better?

[His hair is longer, so he doesn't actually use a comb that much.]

No, a thin-toothed comb would be most efficient. A brush would take a great deal more effort, I'm afraid.

Thank you, Casey. Truly, and I do not say this lightly, I owe you a great favor for this kindness.

[its literally just a comb, calm down]

Edited 2023-10-10 06:37 (UTC)

Seriously, it's no problem at all. Be right there.

[The fact that they're treating this like such a formal request is so odd to him. Borrowing stuff is just a day in the life of the apocalypse... he is so very curious now.

He's already on his way though. One comb, incoming!]

You are a life saver, Casey.

[It is very serious! Serious enough that Rue will not be waiting outside in the garden when he arrives or reading out on their outdoor patio like usual. Instead, whenever he arrives, they will be peering out from the door, a heavy shawl over their head, but even that does not hide the unusual spiky, sparseness of their feathers.

Rue is so meticulous about their appearance, it is a point of pride to them how soft and shiny their feathers normally look.

Still, their face softens at the sight of Casey.]

I hope I did not put you out, having to travel so far for me.

[Rue just casually triggering his PTSD during the commute over-

He arrives a short time later, jogging up to their door with an expression oddly mixed: friendliness towards Rue as usual, but with a slice each of curiosity and concern. This is all very unlike them.]

Don't worry about it, visiting you isn't a chore or anything. [He's always glad to see Rue, even if the circumstances seem very... odd. He fishes into his side pouch and offers the comb out to them. It's clean at least!] ...Is... there anything I can help with?

[He doesn't know what's going on but he is worried!]

[aaaaAAAHHH

Rue's big eyes reflect back that same friendliness mixed with concern, the owlbear's great paw - not quite as untamed and sparse as Rue's face, but still far less groomed than they'd prefer - slips through the open doorway and gently plucks the comb up with between two talons before disappearing.

They do not say it, but please know how grateful they are it is clean.]

I could not ask your help in this. It is overwhelming as is. [but Casey's expression is so sweet, so eager to be helpful, so worried for them. Rue's beak clacks gently.] I am only molting. It is not so big a deal, truly, I am just so wholly unprepared for it. And in the past, I have had help, so I feel most out of sorts. But sincerely, it is not as dire a situation as I must have made it sound.

[Oh... oh. He's not seen it with birds specifically, but the term is familiar to him. There were lizard yokai in his timeline who on occasion shed their skin. They were often irritable and sensitive before, during, and after, so Rue being out of sorts suddenly makes a lot of sense.]

You're not asking, I'm offering. [He shuffles awkwardly from foot to foot, not wanting to overstep, but not wanting to back off too early, either.] I'll go if you'd rather handle it alone, but... I want to help you.

[Rue's done nothing but help him over and over since he arrived. If he can't lend a hand in their hour of need, what is he even doing?]

[It is enough to give them pause.

Would it make them a hypocrite to offer themself up to the world around them but then refuse all help for themself? Would it hurt their relationships with others to see how badly they want to help but still refuse them?

And even more than those, would it really be so terrible to admit how desperate they are for some friendly conversation? For some physical affection? It has been such a lonely few days for someone as endlessly social as Rue.

Finally, they step aside and open the front door fully so that Casey can follow them inside.]

I think that I would deeply appreciate the help right now, Casey.

[An obvious relief passes through Casey, releasing some of the tension he'd been feeling from all that concern he carried. Hastily he follows them in, closing the door behind himself. It's pretty obvious based on how covered up they are and how they'd barely cracked open the door that they don't care to be seen like this by anyone else. It makes him feel very trusted in this moment, and he's determined to ensure they won't regret it.]

Just tell me what to do, and I'll take care of it.

[welcome to scrungly town. population: rue

It is only when Casey has so kindly followed them inside and slipped the door shut that Rue will allow him a true look at their current state, pushing the shawl from their head.

And really? It's not bad. Their new feathers look strange and pointed, capped at the tip instead of fluffy, more skin poking through than normal, but it is not nearly as dramatic as Rue is making it out to be.]

I can not apologize enough for the way that I look. Truth be told, I have spent so many years wearing the face of another, that I hardly know what to do to conceal such grotesqueness without resorting to magic. [Along their wings, their collarbone, the feathers are fluffy and full like normal, it is only their head and neck that still looks so scrungly.]

Once a year, owlbears molt and the process is rather humiliating. I thought a comb might help with some of the more difficult to reach feathers, but if you truly do not mind helping, I would be so grateful for an extra pair of hands with this.

[Well, it certainly is... different. He'd be lying if he said they looked fine, and he doubts someone as aesthetically gifted as Rue would let him get away with it. But really, grotesque seems a little far to him. He smiles, hoping to reassure them. Look, he's not recoiling in horror at the sight!]

It's okay, we'll fix it.

[He reaches out to gently grasp their paw and tug, urging them to enter the house proper and sit down somewhere comfortable. He's thinking the couch, and he can certainly help clean up after, but if they'd prefer not to get feathers all over the living room, the kitchen would also work. He just needs a way to reach their head, since they're so much taller.]

Are the old ones still coming out, or do you just need the new ones cleaned up?

Just the new.

[Rue does not need more prompting to follow after Casey, allowing him to tug them along, until they settle on the couch. It's maybe not the most convenient place to make a mess, but at least Rue can magic all of the feathers and pinfeather dust away after.]

It has been some days since the last of the old molted off. The new ones just need to released from their casings. I can easily get to the ones along my torso and wings, but my head - I presume that wild owlbears must preen one another every molt, the same way that birds do. I have relied on my old friend for so long, and then Hob was there to help me, but well, I was woefully unprepared this time around.

[and then softer, a touch more vulnerability, simply for Casey's ears alone.]

They itch something terrible. I can not stand the way it feels.

[That makes it easier. He'd been a little worried he might have to navigate which feathers to leave and which need to come loose, but if it's just fussing and rearranging, that's much more in line with his capabilities. That means he can really help.]

Oh! That's no problem. Here- [He climbs up to perch on the back of the couch, scrutinizing the feathers for a moment to get the lay of the land before using both hands to scritch through, his touch careful of the new feathers yet firm. He uses the pads of his fingers and his knuckles, ensuring his nails don't scratch at any tender skin beneath, and will start working his way over their head and neck.] How's that? Tell me if it hurts anywhere and I'll move.

[This is familiar territory! He can do scritches. He's the best at scritches.]

[It's nothing at all for Casey to perch like the sweetest gremlin behind Rue on the couch, immediately leaping to work with nimble fingers over their feathers. The casings over the new do not need much attention before they simply break apart, unrevealing the new, fluffy and full feathers beneath, leaving behind a mess but one Rue is almost immediately grateful for.

It does not take any time at all for the owlbear to fully melt into the couch as Casey works, big eyes sliding shut.]

That is quite nice. No, it does not hurt in the slightest, if anything, it feels like quite the relief so far.

Good! I'm glad it's helping.

[He sounds pleased about it, too. He pauses one hand briefly to examine one of the loose casings, very gently brushing his hand over the fresh feather left behind. It's so soft, and the difference is stark. He grins, and continues the process in a different area, learning gradually what to look for and how to identify which feathers need attention as more fresh moults are revealed. He's a quick learner, which is coming in handy now.]

Rue, the new feathers look so beautiful! No one's gonna have anything bad to say about it once we're done.

[Rue is just going to puddle beneath his touch, a gentle, trilling, near-musical sound slipping from their beak as they sigh out as another feather breaks free. The feeling is beyond description, like an itch beneath the skin that is finally getting scratched.

Their earlier embarrassment is fully dissipated. Rue shall never hesitate this long before asking for help again.]

They always do look extra glossy and full when new, don't they? If I did not have to go through with it yearly myself, I think I would find the whole process quite interesting. And here I am with only so much of my body covered in feathers. I can not imagine being a full bird.

[That was an incredibly cute noise, and Casey is just gonna work around to see if he can get them to do it more, secretly-

As fresh new feathers unfurl more, he moves one hand to gently and briefly brush his fingers through them, to keep them together and out of the way so he doesn't jostle them too much scratching their surroundings. They can get a proper brushing once he's done, but for now, gotta keep them safe.]

It would be a crazy amount of work, yeah. And to do it alone would be so much! I knew someone like that back home, and every year he was determined to make it everyone else's problem for like a week straight.

[Betrayal!!!

Rue is not normally caressed like this, usually it is them petting the hair of other's through their tears or rubbing soothing circles against trembling backs, having someone reach out like this towards them is such a wonderfully odd sensation. But it's lovely, to have their new feathers broken free and then gently brushed through, every touch so soft and careful.]

I could never imagine putting myself upon my friends like that. It is certainly not my favorite aspect of being an owlbear, but it is nothing I can not handle. [a soft pause, Rue tipping their head back into Casey's touch like a cat, guiding his hand without direction.]

Especially with assistance like this. Thank you again, this is already a dozen times better than I was feeling earlier.

[Casey's cheeks go pink at the praise, and he's grateful to be behind Rue where he can get away with it unseen. Taking note of the way they're tipping their head into his hand, he gives that spot extra attention.]

You're welcome. I'm just glad it's something I can do.

[If it'd been something really out there, like a magic feather-fraying illness or something, he'd be essentially useless, and he really doesn't like that. Something natural is much more easily managed.]

Who helped you before? Besides Hob.

[Casey manages to break free a particularly stubborn feather and Rue hums out in a mix of relief and delight, unintentionally ruffling their new feathers out until they are puffed up around their head and neck.]

Hm? [Relieved as they are, Rue nearly misses the question, their eyes finally fluttering back open.]

Ah well, before I knew Hob, I only had one true friend in my life. She helped me in absolutely everything for a very long time, the only who knew my secret. Her name was Wuvvy. She was a satyr. [a beat, before Rue quickly corrects themself] Is a satyr.

[They don't want to mislead or worry Casey. At least speaking about her does not hurt nearly as much as it once did.]

She was very good to me, caring and attentive and more generous than I deserved.

[Oh! They're puffing up! Casey stills his hands in the midst of the feathers for a moment, watching them sort of disappear in the middle of the fluff. Once they're done, he moves his hands to a fresh spot, continuing the process. There's a stubborn bit of casing clinging to one feather that he has to gently coax free.]

She sounds nice. What's a satyr? A kind of faerie?

[He's wordlessly grateful for their clarification; as someone who's getting used to referring to everyone he's ever known in past tense, the distinction is. Very important.]

[Rue reaches up to gently coax their feathers back down again. Sometimes they just get excited and can't help themself.]

A type of fey, yes, though more of a beast, like myself. If I were to describe her, I would say her torso and head were very humanoid-shaped, while her lower half was that of a goat. She had sweet goat-like ears and horns, and the most wide, startled eyes I'd ever seen.

[He tries to envision this, but is stalled by the fact that he's never seen a real goat. Beast-esque fey, though, got it. Ears and horns.]

You must've really trusted her, if she was the only one who knew your real self.

[He passes his fingers through the freshly-freed feathers in the space he'd just finished, helping to settle them down. Together they close up some of the gaps Rue had been worried about, covering the bare patches that had been previously too-visible.]

[Rue will be overjoyed by the time they finally arrive back in front of a mirror, to see the magic that Casey's perfectly small, nimble hands have cast over them.]

Indeed. [There is a silence then, intentional but not at all awkward given how comfortable the owlbear feels with the young teen, but still Rue hesitates on saying more. Casey, however, has proven time and time again that he deserves all of their trust.]

She was from another court than mine, but she left hers to follow me. At the time, it was to become my assistant, I thought that her interest laid more in the work than anything else, but - Well, we grew very close. I let her in on my true form and she was my most trusted confidante from then on. We were quite the team for nearly a millennia.

Whoa... that's so long to be together. No wonder you're missing her right now. Bet she'd have done all this in record time.

[His unpracticed hands surely pale in comparison to how Wuvvy might have done this, but at least Rue seems to approve of the job he's doing regardless. Feeling around, unless he's missed a spot, he thinks that most of the neck feathers have been uncapped. He leans forward, draping carefully over their shoulder, and reaches a hand down. ...Oh gosh, those feathers are so soft and tickling, though. Like the nicest, downiest pillow.]

Comb, please?

To be perfectly honest, you are speeding along quite quickly for your first time. Truly, I can not thank you enough. All of it, but especially the back of my head, would have taken me forever on my own.

[Forgive them, Casey, but with him leaning over their shoulder, the owlbear is just going to lean in to nuzzle the side of his head affectionately as they slip the comb into his hand, another happy trill at their beak.]

I hope I am not stealing you away from any other plans this afternoon.

[No forgiveness required, as the gesture makes him chuckle under his breath - the feathers tickle! - and, feeling an ounce of boldness, he goes ahead and nuzzles them in return, before the shyness takes over and he scoots to the feathers at their back again. It feels almost like home; the communal contact of hugs, head rubs, nuzzles, all of it- is a love language of his family, and it warms his heart to experience it again, however unexpectedly.

Very carefully he runs the comb through the fresh feathers, testing the waters to ensure it can travel smoothly without damaging or pulling too hard on the new coat. Once he's satisfied, he begins combing through in earnest, smoothing down the ruffled parts until they're laid flat and orderly, more in line with the appearance of their previous coat.]

I didn't have any plans- I was just thinking about what I was gonna do. Now I don't have to- you're today's "one new thing".

[He's definitely never helped tame a molt before.]

[It is the happiest day of Rue's life. Open and easy affection like this is exactly what has been missing in their life since Hob disappeared. To be able to experience it with anyone again, especially someone as dear as Casey, it fills their heart with such joy.

Perhaps they really have been more lonely than Rue was willing to admit, especially during this past week alone.]

You mean to say you have never helped another owlbear with their molt before? [Rue clacks their beak together teasingly, but doesn't otherwise move, not wanting to interrupt Casey's attention to their soft, glossy new feathers.] I can hardly believe it!

[Casey is quietly, internally preening that he just got away with it. Maybe... maybe he will do it again! ...At some point. It's in his back pocket, this new knowledge of permission.

But he laughs at that, still working the comb gently with one hand while the other moves down to scratch at a new area yet to be cleaned up. Luckily it's a simple job and he's a fast learner, so it's getting much easier the more he does it.]

Never have! But maybe I'll be an old pro by the time we finish. If we're still here next year, you'll know who to call.

[Give them a month or so, and there is no doubt these two will be openly nuzzling and cuddling all of the time.

It's such a simple touch, the scratch of human fingers through new feathers just itching to be freed, but it is more than enough to draw a gentle, almost reverberating coo out of from the owlbear, the sound hauntingly soft and absolutely joyful at the scritching.]

You shall be the very first one I call! And I know now not to stubbornly wait for so long before asking for help.

Good! You better.

[An empty threat, said with love. And they hecking DESERVE open cuddles, let it be their fate-

Casey leans in a bit, wanting to listen more closely to the noises Rue keeps making. He's never heard an owl before, so it's all new and pretty fascinating, on top of being cute as heck. He should keep his mouth shut at least, to not embarrass them, but...]

It's not the same thing, but I used to do something similar with the turtles- their future selves, I mean. Their shells can get itchy too, and there's spots that're hard to reach. Don't tell him you heard it from me, but... [He lowers his voice, conspiratorial.] Sometimes, sensei made noises like that, too.

[Oh dear. Getting called out like that is rather embarrassing, especially since Rue was so unaware that they were even doing it. As close as he is, fingers against their skin, Casey would be able to feel the gentle flush of embarrassment there, but at least Rue shakes out of it quickly enough.

The secret that he has shared is well worth a little gentle shame.]

Truly?

[It does not matter that it is Rue's own home and no one else is nearby. They follow Casey's lead, lowering their tone to a near whisper, angling their head just so to lean in closer towards the young teen and his secret.]

I did not know their shells were capable of becoming itchy. You helping them out in such a way must have been such a great relief then, the very same as you are doing for me now. [a gentle pause, Rue's big eyes blinking slowly] I can only imagine how darling Leo must have sounded. And in case it needs to be said, your secret is very safe with me. I shall say nothing, not even under threat of turtle pile.

[His brows lift a bit at the comment of how it might sound. That he can do! One day Rue might hear an authentic version, but he has a pretty solid imitation at least.]

Oh, um. I'm a little rusty, but it's like...

[Casey shifts a bit closer still, resting his chin on their shoulder so he can be close to their ear tuft as he utters a quiet chrrrrr noise, somewhere between a squeak and a purr. It's the kind of sound that is definitely testing the limits of human vocal chords, but through the blessing of a decade of practice, he nails it.]

[Casey drops his chin against their shoulder and then proceeds to make the most adorable little chirping purr that Rue has ever heard.]

That is so dear! Casey, we must get Leo to make it again here!

[He grins again, feeling secretly victorious for pulling it off. It has been months and months after all, but considering it's almost like a second language to him, it would have been embarrassing if he hadn't gotten it at least mostly right.]

You'd probably have a better chance of making that happen. We're doing okay but I don't know if I've earned shell-scratching rights yet.

[Not the sort of thing you just come out and do without a satisfying hint that it's allowed. Sort of like how he wouldn't currently be preening Rue's feathers without permission.]

[Though Rue would never speak it aloud, they are extraordinarily proud of Casey for being able to admit to something so vulnerable without immediately following it up with a sad puppy face or a tinge of sorrow to his tone. Because even if his relationship with Leo is not quite there yet, Rue believes that he knows it will get there in time.

It will happen and it sounds like Casey finally believes that himself.

So Rue turns their head just enough to press a quick, peck of a kiss to the side of Casey's head while he is so close.]

If I do, you shall be the very first I tell. Thank you for sharing such a heartwarming memory with me. And for your warm presence in general. I was so sullen earlier, but now I feel as if I have been smiling all day long with you.

[It's as much that he's in an excellent mood and not allowing himself to overthink the situation, but yes, a grand accomplishment. He hopes to have many more moments where the gaps in his relationships with the turtles isn't secretly soul-crushing. Progress is happening, slow and steady. (How very turtle-like.)

The little kiss makes him burn scarlet, a startled little noise (an accidental chirp? It's very quiet) escaping as he ducks back into place behind them, though for a moment his hands are paused and rested against the feathers instead of combing or scratching. O-oh... that was... nice.]

...I'm glad for that, too. Um- you really didn't look like yourself, when you opened the door. And not because of the feathers, either. [A beat, and then, hastily,] Not that you aren't allowed to be sad! [God knows they've let him be sad around them plenty.] Just... I'm happy I could do something to cheer you up.

[If they notice the flushing color of his cheeks or the darling little chirp (which they absolutely do), Rue is at least polite enough to not acknowledge it as they turn their head forward again, giving Casey space to finish combing through their fresh pin feathers.

But it seems that now Rue has two dear boys to keep working on dragging darling chirps from.]

You have cheered me up considerably. There is no doubt in my mind, I would still be wallowing if you had not offered your help. I would have been stubborn and insisted on keeping to myself and quietly grieving in my own self-imposed loneliness. I - [a pause, their beak clacking shut for a moment in thought. There are things that Rue will not worry the boys with, adult problems they would brush it off as, things their boys don't need to know. But talking to Casey and Leo is so easy at times, they nearly slip.

But Rue breathes deeply - and perched where Casey is, he will feel the full of it as they exhale out - and change direction.]

It was silly of me to not reach out before, but I am grateful I did when I did. And that you rose to help me. Your fingers are so nimble! I think you will easily surpass Hob's record.

[Thanks, Rue. He appreciates the courtesy. He doesn't have that much cause to be embarrassed about the noise - he'd just done it voluntarily after all - but he can hardly help his fluster. No one's done that in... a very long time. And no one's made him do that in a long time, either.

As he works, he listens to them speak, glad to hear that they're feeling better than before, and that his presence had really made a difference. He recognizes the shift in subject however, the sudden evasion of whatever else they might have said. He remains in place after they finish, quietly debating for a long moment as he slides his hands listlessly through the last lingering pin feathers: to follow where they're steering, or to tilt sideways? When he discards the final caps he decides, leans forward again, and wraps his arms around their neck - or as far as he can reach, anyway, still quite small in comparison - hugging them gently. His voice is half-muffled in the fluff.]

We're here for you. Anytime, okay? Don't even have to say why.

[He knows he's still young, and there's plenty that an adult isn't going to share with a kid. Sensei, and his uncles, all had plenty on their mind that they felt they had to shield him from. But there were plenty more conversations he eavesdropped on - some he felt he deserved to hear about, some he really shouldn't have heard at all. He couldn't resent them for protecting him, or... in some cases, protecting themselves. It's a balance he knows must be hard to maintain.

Support without explanation is easy to give, though. And so are hugs.]

[Oh.

There is no denying that the hug takes Rue by surprise, a soft hoot slipping from their beak at the unexpected touch. But Casey is not left to wonder for even a moment whether the touch is received favorably or not.

His skinny arms slip around Rue as far as they will go, and after a moment of gentle shock, the owlbear's massive paws rest over Casey's arms, holding him in place, bumping their head back affectionately into his.

Going from a busy home with Tim to the handful of perfect months living with their husband to being completely on their own has been such a challenge. If Rue does not keep busy all night long, the grief and loneliness and all-consuming fear just envelops them completely. It is just more difficult than they would ever like to admit, to live on knowing Hob is still lost out there in the human realm, maybe hurt or captured or even worse, while they sit in their quiet, peaceful home filling the time with pointless hobbies.

When it is too quiet, the guilt feels like a constant weight on their chest. But what is Rue to do but box it up during the day and just carry on?

Their paw pats at Casey's arm, a sigh shuddering through them as Rue blinks back a few stray tears. What did they ever do to deserve such a sweet presence in their life?]

You are such a good boy, Casey. I love you, dearly. I hope you know that.

[He squeezes them a little tighter as they hug him back, and he closes his eyes, more than content to rest like that as long as Rue needs. Hugs aren't a cure-all by any means, but god have they ever helped him, all his life. He's been held and coddled and told so many times, it'll be alright, we're here, I've got you, Case. Love you, kiddo. The warmth of being clung to, of having one's pain perceived. It's so important.

So he clings, and he perceives Rue's pain, even if he doesn't understand it. He's not owed a reason. And when they speak up at last, he lifts his head (so his voice won't be muffled, because they deserve to hear it openly) and responds in kind.]

I love you, too.

[He's never hesitated with his family back home. It's just how they are. He told Leo already. Why shouldn't those important to him know? There's no shame in love. Hope might be a ninja's greatest weapon, but love is their greatest shield.]

[Even with the sorrow that sits in their heart, Rue knows their current life is so full of joy and affection and friendship, more than they can ever remember it having been before. No other time in their life have they been hugged and touched so easily, had others speak plainly about how much they care, have had their days so filled with pleasant company and fun. Whatever grief still lingers, it is easier to face now when their life is full of genuine love.

Their composure snaps back together almost immediately, just one last long, shuddering sigh, and Rue is straightening up against Casey, a paw reaching behind them to politely ruffle his hair. (But just barely, they don't want to mess up his hair.)]

How am I looking so far? Do you need a break, Casey? I do not want your hands to cramp.

[Casey hums quietly, accepting the hair ruffle without complaint, and shifts away carefully to give their back feathers one last brushing with the comb. It really looks lovely now, much neater and fluffy, no longer scrunched and showing gaps. It really is just like new.]

No, it's okay. I can do this kind of thing for hours. [And has in fact done so, many times in and out of the workshop back home. There were plenty of little tasks that small dextrous five-fingered hands could do that were more difficult for giant mutant turtle hands, and Uncle Tello was always happy to put him to work. This is nothing.] I think I'm done back here, though... want me to come around and work on the front? Or anywhere else that itches?

[His tone is light and curious; he's clearly having a pretty good time here, even if it might seem like work to some. He likes to keep busy and help out, so this is good for him. And the feathers are quite soft to touch once freed.]

[Not only does it look better, but it feels better. Just having part of their feathers free, Rue feels a million times more relief than they did before his arrival.]

Would you mind very much doing my face?

[Casey seems eager to help, but Rue feels like they should ask, just to be certain. It really is a lot of work, no matter how satisfying it may feel to watch their feathers slowly fluff up again.]

That one is not quite so difficult to reach, it's just much easier to preen them with my beak than my talons. I thought the comb might be a nice in between to help with my face. But if you would not mind, I truly would be happy to take all of the help that I can get.

I don't mind.

[He brushes some stray feather bits out of the comb and tucks it into the elastic of his ponytail, freeing his hands so he can climb around and into their lap. Both hands lift to coax them down to his level, and he'll begin to repeat the process, though with more delicacy and care with where he's touching, not wanting to accidentally poke fingers into tender facial features. His brows are furrowed, deeply focused and back in work-mode. If he were any more cliched he would have his tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth.]

No wonder you're itchy. All those feathers right up in your face must feel really frustrating. You're way more patient with it than I would be!

[They've been dealing with this for as long as they have and kept quiet about it... he'd be rubbing his face against tree bark by now.]

[Well! There he goes! This little feral child crawling right into their lap and getting straight to it!

Having him so close to their face, Rue sucks in a sharp breath and does their very best to go completely still as his fingers work through their feathers, not wanting to twitch or squirm and make this more difficult than it already must be.

But to be truthful, Casey looks like he may be enjoying himself like this, all focused on the work ahead of him, brow cutely furrowed in concentration. And the feel of his hands fluttering over their face, of working their feathers free and gently brushing away the dust off of them, it feels so nice to such a touch starved owlbear.

It takes all they have not to coo again right in his face this time.]

It has been a lot. And what a joke of nature to make my own paws so inefficient at clearing it all away. It seems so strange, but I suppose other owlbears rely on one another for this. For all that I think of my enlightenment as a gift, I sometimes forget that I am the strange one among my kin, separated from my own kind and so totally on my own. Owlbears do not normally set off alone, they stay in pairs.

[Up close they can make this so much harder purely by making funny faces at each other-

Casey plucks away at a few of the caps around their beak as they finish speaking, mindful of unintentionally getting pecked by being in their way. He smoothes the freed feathers down as one might brush down a beard, and with the rest of their face still scrungly, it looks a bit funny. He grins, helplessly.]

Well, I might not be an owlbear, but I am part of your... pack? Clan? Whatever it's called for owlbears. So it makes sense that one of us can do this for you instead.

[The concept of being titled as 'son' still sort of looms on his mental peripheral, yet to be re-addressed, but he'd very much accepted the idea of being family, which is more nebulous and less of a direct commitment. Whether it's a pack or some other name, he's happy to be a part of that.]

Mm, I suppose that it does. And I am grateful for it. It would have taken me at least another week to clean myself up enough to leave the house. And even then, I would have been too fearful of any I'd missed on the back of my head. Having my own, ah, parliament, perhaps? Or maybe it is a sloth? Truth be told, I do not know the term! Either way, having my own kin nearby and so willing to help means a great deal to me.

[But he's right, of course. It is a little too close to that incredibly sensitive subject, so Rue is grateful for a complete change of direction.

Instead, their huge eyes narrow teasingly at the sight of Casey's wide grin.]

What? What is it? Are you trying not to laugh at how silly I look?

N-no.

[Yes. Maybe. He's fighting back a laugh, the situation made more absurd and therefore funnier because of Rue drawing attention to it. He politely smooths the feathers out, setting them into their proper place, then - impulsively - brushes the tips upwards instead. A feathered moustache-

Okay now he loses the battle and ducks his head, trying to muffle his chuckling. It's so stupid, but he can't help finding it funny.]

Am I being made fun of in my own home?

[But Casey is losing it in front of them, his skinny shoulders shaking with the force of how he is trying to hold back his laughter, and Rue can't help but begin to giggle along with him. But! They will not back down!]

Tell me just what is so funny, Casey!

[A set of talons gently tickles at his side, hoping to get him laughing in earnest.]

[Yeah, he's gone. He's not hugely ticklish, but between him already fighting the giggles, and Rue's dexterous talons sneaking about and creating a sensation very different from turtle fingers, his hand comes away from his mouth to try and fend them off, meaning he can no longer hide his open laughter.]

No! N-no way! You'll never break me...!

Ha! Maybe I already have!

[Time to double down on their tickling, though for every laugh Rue manages to drag out of Casey, they are easily matching it themself.]

Surrender or I will have to take extreme measures!

[He writhes and wrestles, indecisively switching between trying to push their paws back and trying to retaliate and tickle them in turn. The fur and feathers make it difficult to do the latter, though, and they clearly have the advantage. Still, he's not deterred.]

Take them! I'm not afraid! I'm- [laughing, he's laughing, he can't talk anymore.]

[Immediately, without any warning, the tickling suddenly stops.

But only so that Rue can pluck up a mossy-green stray feather that had fallen on the couch beside them. They brandish it like a weapon in front of Casey's face.]

Prepare to meet your doom, young one.

[And then they attack! His neck and face gently tickled by owlbear feather! Take that!]

[Oh thank goodness, he can breathe agaiNO OH NO THAT'S WORSE-

He's trying to tuck his head between his shoulders to protect his neck, but that just makes his face more vulnerable. (You're not a turtle, Casey Jones, necks don't work like that.) You'd think a feather would be easy to fend off, but he can't seem to stop squirming.]

Okay, okay! Okay! I surrender! I'll tell you!

[The rare "Casey is crying and it's not because of trauma" has emerged. He's laughing too hard.]

[The very second that he surrenders, Rue drops the feather and throws their wings around him instead, nearly panting after laughing so hard. It's just the same for them, the touch of tears in their eyes from how absolutely ridiculous all of that was. But Rue's whole expression is positively shining with happiness, so much so that it makes the scrungliness of their facial pin feathers not look quite so terrible.

Mostly.]

Oh Casey - I do not think I have ever laughed so hard in my life. Truth be told, I hardly remember what I asked you to say in the first place!

[Casey flops against them, fully leaning into the embrace, and for a long moment just huffs and puffs as he tries to catch his breath again, shoulders shaking from little lingering chuckles. What had they asked him again...

He finally lifts his head to look at them, and- ah. He remembers now. Another couple of seconds to compose himself, inhale, exhale, and no more giggles. He focuses on them with the most serious expression he can muster, very calm, like he's about to share something very important.

And then he has the nerve to say,]

I'll tell you. But first... I moustache you a question.

[The poker face on this kid right now. Off the charts. 10/10.]

[Casey may be able to steel his expression like the pro he is, but the terrible pun falls from his lips and Rue dissolves into immediate laughter, squeezing the boy closer to them as their whole body just trembles from the force of their giggling.

It's going to be awhile at this point. Rue will likely end up giddy and giggling all night long, overwhelmed with fondness for how fun Casey has turned this sullen afternoon.

And now you bring such lazy wordplay into my home! I can hardly believe it. Do not make me get the feather again! I will show no mercy this time.

If you use that feather again I'm gonna eat it.

[IS HE JOKING? IS HE SERIOUS? He's still got the poker face up. ...But then it cracks, and he chuckles again, leaning in to rest his head against them, arms out to hug them back.]

It's nice to see you laughing. [What a stark difference from when he'd first arrived. He's so pleased, for both of them.]

[Young man-!!!

But just as swiftly as the threat (?) falls from his mouth, Casey is collapsing into their arms, resting fully in their embrace, and Rue can not help with wrap him up even tighter, feathery head bumping affectionately against his.]

And you as well. You have such an infectious laugh. It brings me to giggles anytime that I hear it. You're such a menace.

[But Rue says the word like it's a true compliment, like Casey being a terror is the most endearing trait of his. There is no doubt that Rue loves it about him.]

[He just grins up at them again.]

I learned from the best.

[And it... doesn't hurt to say, the way it otherwise might. His heart is so full and joyful that the ache is just a pleasant aftermath. Sensei liked it when he laughed, too, and he's happy for the opportunity to do so again. They deserve this, don't they? Yeah.]

[Rue can assume just who Casey means.]

You certainly did.

[Because Leo's laugh also has a special place in their heart.

Casey grins up at them, looking so youthful and happy, as if for this one moment in time he is completely unburdened and free. Rue presses a quick peck of a kiss to his forehead before finally releasing him, a few more giggles slipping from their beak.]

I was so ready to write this day off and look how it has turned around.

[A correct assumption, albeit one sideways. Leo laughs differently from sensei, but he can see the origins of it. His own laugh just now was a lot closer to the former's than the latter's. Funny how life ends up.

Once freed, he readjusts his position back to where he'd been before, reaching up to smooth down the 'mustache' finally and get back to loosening the rest of the feathers.]

You've done that for me before. It feels good to turn it around and do the same for you.

As I would do again for you. Anytime.

[Sometimes the only cure for a terrible day is a reliable friend kicking in the door and bringing some levity and tender wisdom along. Rue is not too proud to admit that even they need the help at times.]

Oh! Darling, I fear my tickling attack may have messed up your hair. Here.

[It comes so naturally to stretch their neck out and gently preen Casey, using their beak to reposition and smooth his hair back into place.]

[The gentle brushing of Rue's beak through his hair has its own surprising, slightly ticklish aspect, but after a moment he adjusts to the sensation, and it actually feels quite nice. Cue the two of them fussing over each other. Who knew communal grooming could be so satisfying?]

Do you know how to style hair?

[Well, Rue can hardly stop now! Hair, it turns out, isn't quite as easy to adjust and fluff as feathers are, so they may be at this for awhile!

Though the owlbear is polite enough to not talk with their beak full, pulling away only enough to peer down warmly at the boy.]

I must confess, I do not have much actual practice in the styling of hair without magic, though I have watched enough online videos that I feel like an expert.

[Sorry, Rue, he's chatty now. You have activated him.]

Whoa, there's videos for that sort of thing? And you can do hair with magic too?

[He so needs to check that later. (The videos, not the magic, obviously. Can't do that one.) There's still so much he wants to learn, so much he wants to try. A whole world of aesthetics begging to be explored, and here he is with the hair on which to experiment. …Actually.]

You can practice on mine if you want.

[Chatty is always fine with Rue. They thrive off of social activity.

Rue stretches forward preen the teen's hair a little more, adjusting his bangs, smoothing the hair at the top of his head down and into place.]

Oh dearest, you can use magic for just about anything. Back in the Feywild, it would be quite normal to conjure meals, to apply makeup, to levitate anything that you might need to carry, all through magic alone.

[A paw reaches up to pat down one wild lock, talons petting over Casey's hair with all of the tender affection they hold for his teen.]

I'll have to show you the videos later. And truly? I would not mind playing with your hair. Especially after you have so taken care of my feathers.

[He listens, fascinated as ever about magic and mysticism. Changing appearance and levitating is not new to him, but conjuring meals immediately has his eyes wide with wonder. If mystic powers were capable of doing something like that, the resistance would have been in far less dire straits for... pretty much his whole life. Though Uncle Tello's speed-growth science had at least an adjacent effect. What does magic food taste like, anyway...?]

Maybe I can stay for a bit, after I finish? I'd like to see the videos...

[And maybe get his hair played with more. If Rue wants. He's not going to try and push as he doesn't want to impose... still, Rue seems to want company, so it doesn't feel like a burden to make the offer.]

[Casey will not have to guess whether Rue is happy with the suggestion or not.]

You'll stay?

[Their eyes light up immediately at the very idea of getting to keep Casey longer.]

Then you must. Leo has loaded many a tee-vee show and movie onto my device. We should watch a film together, in addition to few of my favorite hair tutorial videos.

[He looks equally pleased at once, sitting up a bit straighter, as if feeling a sudden rush of pride that his company could inspire such joy. He has no one waiting for him at his place or any other priorities demanding his attention, so of course he's free to stay as long as Rue wants him here.]

Okay... I'll stay, then. You can introduce me to TV shows properly.

[He's seen a scattering of old digital movies when they had extra power to spare, sure, but TV definitely did not exist in the apocalypse. (Get that shirt out, it's time for another "didn't have that" moment.)]

[Rue straightens up then, bowing their head for Casey to better reach their feathers, and rights him into place on their lap.]

Then let us finish this task swiftly! I can make us popcorn and hot cocoa. It will be a proper movie night.

[Casey chuckles, eyes bright at the mention of cocoa especially - one of his very favourite new things - and gets back to work on their feathers. He's on what appears to be the final patch now, so it shouldn't take long.]

It's been forever since I had a movie night with anyone. What kind of movie do you want to see?

[So much closer to freedom! Already Rue feels so much relief, like most of the itching and tension is just gone.]

What kind do you like? I admit, I much prefer romances, but I do not know many others who enjoy them. Hob was very fond of documentaries.

[With the last of the caps off and discarded, he retrieves the comb from his hair tie and brushes it through the new feathers, smoothing out the final unruly branches. It's looking like quite a lovely coat of feathers now, a far cry from the scrungly mess they'd started out with. A successful grooming indeed.]

Um... well, we mostly had the archives Donnie saved when they were all teenagers, so it was a lot of action movies, sci-fi, some science and tech films. I liked just about everything we watched... I've never watched a romance before though.

[If he has, he doesn't know it. He is not what one would call genre-savvy.]

[Casey runs the comb through their freshly revealed feathers and there is just no saving Rue from the way almost cat-like way they push up against the comb, hooting out a happy noise at how absolutely wonderful it feels.

There's no doubt about it. Next year, Rue won't hesitate to call upon the young teen for help.

But he just so happens to mention he has never seen a romantic movie and, look, Rue's eyes go wide.]

Would you like to try watching one? If you dislike it, we can watch something else easily.

I'll try anything once.

[It's sort of becoming a common phrase for him here, with so much new to try. Maybe he'll enjoy romance? Not really something he's given much thought to until very recently.

He sets down the comb and smooths the feathers down by hand one last time, indulgently enjoying the soft new layers, before finally smiling up at Rue, looking satisfied.]

I think I'm done. How does it feel? Did I miss anywhere?

I feel like an entirely brand new owlbear! If I find any spare pin feathers or any others come in late, I should be able to handle them just fine. It was simply the bulk of them all at once that was so difficult to manage. One or two I am entirely capable of.

[And once he is finished soothing out of their new feathers, Rue plants two massive paws gently on each side of his face, and tips in to press a kiss to Casey's forehead.]

Again, thank you. I feel wondrous. Now, I think I will go wash my face quickly, just to get a nice look at my beautiful new feathers, and then we can begin with our movie night.

[The kiss elicits a soft giggle on Casey's part, ducking his head a bit, though not to escape their gentle hold. Once they let go he slides backwards off their lap, standing up to stretch his arms out and roll his shoulders a bit. His hands are just fine from the work, but that was a lot of sitting, so a few stretches will do him some good before they settle in for a movie.]

Okay. I'll make the hot chocolate, then! Gonna need help with the popcorn, though.

[He hasn't yet made that one on his own, though at least it doesn't seem that complicated to make. Off he goes to the kitchen, leaving Rue to check themselves out, very excited for an impromptu movie night.]

[Rue disappears into the washroom for a good five or so minutes, but not before magically waving their paw over the dusty remains of their feather caps and making them all disappear. There! At least it was an easy clean up.

When the owlbear emerges, their feathers are fresh and fluffed up around their face and neck. They drop off two fluffy blankets on the couch before joining Casey in the kitchen.]

Well! No fire yet. You are already doing far better than my Hob did the first time I left him alone in the kitchen.

[Casey's sort of learning how to navigate their kitchen without poking around excessively or making a mess, but he does indeed have the hot chocolate well under way, and a bowl set out awaiting popcorn.]

I've... kind of been making it a lot at my place, so it's easy to do it now. But I can't help it! It's so good, and it really fills you up. We- ...well, you know already.

[Insert "we didn't have x y z at home" for the millionth time. None of these ingredients except for water even existed anymore.]

There is no problem with that. As long as you are eating well too, I don't see why you can not enjoy cocoa every day.

[Poor Casey has had to fight for his survival for so long. He absolutely deserves a little extra treat because of it.

As he preps for the cocoa, Rue is pouring a tablespoon of oil into a deep pan and getting it nice and hot on the stove.]

Have you made popcorn on the stovetop before? It's quite fun to do. And we can add any seasonings or toppings you'd like.

[He smiles and nods. He's still learning to cook the basics, but from the way his skinny structure has been filling out and his pallor becoming healthier the longer he stays here, he seems to be eating well enough. He shifts to stand beside them, careful to stay out of the way, and watches them prep to make popcorn with interest.]

I've never seen it like this. I know it's supposed to have butter and salt... what else can you put on it?

[The minute that any of the boys look even a little skinny, Rue is going to be bringing them meals every single day and filling up their fridge. Don't test them!]

I have recently learned that popcorn does not have as specific a formula as I was made to believe! Casey, you can put anything on popcorn.

[Don't worry, Rue, he just started out that way. He's done nothing but improve!]

Anything? [That's so broad. What does anything entail? Like for real anything??] What do you like to put on it, then?

[Look, Rue was very excited about this information too!]

I have made cinnamon sugar, parmesan and garlic powder, cheese, toasted coconut and chocolate, caramel - There are so many delightful combinations and I'm certain there are dozens more I have yet to try. If you are paralyzed at the amount of options, we could do a few bowls with different varieties too.

...Those sound really good...

[Well, there are some flavours he's not tried yet. The idea of multiple bowls sounds very appealing, assuming it isn't too much trouble to put together. He'll start with one pick, at least-]

I haven't had coconut yet. Can we try that one? With the chocolate? And whatever else you like, I'll try any of them.

Then coconut it is.

[Rue is just going to press the jar of popcorn kernels into Casey's hands. Protect it with your life, darling.]

Pour out just enough to loosely cover the bottom of the pan, and right after, you will want to put the lid over it before they begin to pop. I'll get the rest prepared for us.

[He's doing it! He's protecting the popcorn! ...Actually, he's pouring it in as directed, covering the pot at once. And now he's watching it, leaning down to be level with the pot. Something mysterious is going to happen in there, and he's going to witness it. (Sort of. It is still covered. But popcorn is at least a little magical to him, so he's attentive.)]

[No kernel will go unpopped! Not on his watch!

As the oil heats up and the kernels begin their chorus of popping inside of the pan, Rue has already spread some coconut shreds across a baking sheet to pop into the oven for a gentle toast, a tray of various bowls already prepared and ready for when the popcorn finishes.]

There it goes! The trick, I have learned, is to listen to the pops. They should all happen in quick succession. Once there is a lull between them, then we must remove the pan from the heat immediately or risk burning them.

[Casey continues watching the pot with a quiet fascination born of infinite new experiences somehow never getting old. It's such a simple thing, a food that explodes into better food. One more that he'll never take for granted.]

Whoa... it's easier than I thought it would be. Usually food transformation takes some kind of techno-alchemy!

[A little confused but he's got the spirit- and as soon as there's a lull in the popping, Casey hurriedly lifts the pot off the stovetop, setting it down on the next burner.]

[Oh, he certainly has the spirit! Enough that Rue chuckles softly at the phrasing of 'food transformation', a massive paw brushing affectionately at his back as they pass by him.]

Perfect timing! And I do not detect the smell of anything burnt in the air, so I'd say we have a popcorn professional on our hands. Here, would you like to split the popcorn among these three bowls? Just be careful to not touch the pan.

[He nods, cheeks a little pink at the compliment - deserved or otherwise, since he didn't really do much, he'll take it anyway - and carefully distributes the popcorn between the bowls. There's a few loose kernels, but nothing seems to be burned. He might've taken it off a wee too early, thankfully not too late.

Setting aside the pot, he plucks one of the plain popcorn bits from a bowl and tosses it into his mouth, chewing happily. No flavour is no problem for this one.]

This is dangerous. I really could make this all the time.

[POPCORN WITH EVERY MEAL- someone stop him.]

Popcorn and hot cocoa sounds like a lovely evening snack anytime of the year.

[do it do it DO IT]

Here you go, dearest.

[Casey gets the warmed, gooey chocolate bowl pushed gently into his hands next, a whisk nestled in the chocolate. Rue takes it out (carefully) to demonstrate how to drip melted chocolate over the fresh popcorn, while they sprinkle the toasted coconut over the same bowl.]

We will want to go light on the chocolate, just so the flavor does not overwhelm everything else.

[MAYBE HE WILL

And it's a good thing they said that, because after the initial demonstration with the drizzle Casey was fully prepared to upend the entire chocolate bowl onto the popcorn. (Because chocolate is amazing and MORE chocolate can only ever be MORE amazing, right? No? Huh.) Instead he copies the softer drizzling, which admittedly does look very appealing. The coconut flakes look kind of odd to him, but he trusts them not to steer him wrong, flavour-wise.]

It smells really good... [Don't mind him as he (carefully) dips his finger into the leftover chocolate for a taste. Just because the popcorn needs less doesn't mean he's not 15 with limited impulse control around sweets.]

[Even while they are busy beginning to prep the other two bowls, Rue still manages to catch that finger dipped into the chocolate and reaches out to gently swat Casey's hand away - but not before offering him a spoon instead.

Fingers are nasty little guys, at least use silverware to lick up the leftover chocolate.]

Doesn't it though? Alright, tell me what you prefer with this last one, I am stuck between these two. Cheese or cinnamon-sugar?

[THOROUGHLY CHASTISED ;-;

But no he accepts the spoon for scooping, though he doesn't see much of a difference, personally. That might be due to growing up mostly unwashed and perpetually sharing germs with the resistance population his whole life. Oh well, he's learning propriety on top of everything else...]

Um... how about cheese? Since we have this for something sweet already. And cheese is good on anything.

[He says like he knows. He's had it on like ten different things at most by now.]

[Casey, you need to step up your cheese game stat!!

But Rue looks pleased with the response, giving a small nod and immediately complying with some parmesan over the top of the final bowl.]

There! I think we are all set.

[And no need to carry the loaded tray because Rue just has it rise up into the air and float behind them, as they press a paw at Casey's back and lead him back to the living room, chocolate bowl and all.]

I brought us out some blankets so we could get comfortable. Is there anything else I'm missing?

[It's a good thing Rue has their paw at his back guiding him, because he keeps turning his head to watch the floating tray over his shoulder. He'd definitely have walked right into a wall. Magic is so cool...

He almost misses their question, and his answer is a bit belated.]

Oh- no, that sounds perfect! Do you know what movie we're gonna watch?

[Thank goodness that Casey's attention is behind him, because he won't be subjected to the adoring look that crosses the owlbear's face at the way Casey keeps turning back to watch the tray behind him. It's just so darling.]

I was going to show you a few that Donnie has so sweetly loaded onto my relic. Then, if you are up for it, I thought we could choose together.

[It's not much to go off of, a splash screen and a vague title, but Rue wants Casey to have some say if he is already so kindly letting them indulge in a romance.]

Okay, that sounds good. I'm sure whichever we pick will be great.

[He doesn't especially care either way, as he's bound to not know what to expect from any romance movie (or most movies, in truth). A movie is a movie to him, more often than not. The point was always distraction and company, and he's getting plenty of both.

He parks himself back onto the couch, leaving just enough space for Rue (an unspoken expectation of cuddle), setting his bowl down and bundling one of the blankets around like a miniature nest. He keeps watching the tray until it's back on a solid surface, and when he reaches out to fetch his hot chocolate, one hand touches the tray, as if the magic might linger and be felt.]

[It may be wildly unnecessary, but it is just one of those silly considerations that Rue holds so very dear to be able to offer, even if Casey has no point of view to choose from in the first place. Though there is still some power in having the ability to choose, even when one does not fully understand their options.

- Also if the movie ends up being not so great, Rue can tease him about it. Win-win.

Once Casey is settled, Rue takes the space next to him, automatically raising a wing for him to flop in close as they wrap up in their own blanket and move to settle the tray into their lap for easy popcorn access.

If the tray was fun to see fly around like that, next up to magically hover is Rue's relic, which settles mid-air between the two of them. They reach over to flip through a few options on screen before pointing out a handful of different films. There's a few options - a period piece, a modern day rom-com, or romantic musical.

Rue is not at all shy to point out which ones are their favorite.]

The musical is quite breathtaking, though a touch more sad than the rest. And the historical one is a slow-burn, I believe it is called, but the tension is what keeps you invested.

Edited 2023-10-19 06:22 (UTC)

[He appreciates the courtesy! And doesn't hesitate at all to cuddle in close when the space is made for him, closing the gap and practically melting into their side. He's careful not to spill the popcorn as he helps himself to a couple of mouthfuls as they explain - and wow, the chocolate-coconut combination is a big win, turns out - and after a moment's consideration, points towards the musical. The relic-floating is also very cool, but this time he'll try to pay more attention to what's on it.]

That one, I think. If that's okay?

[Not much of that in his movie-watching history, but he's heard of them. And maybe the gala left him with a lingering weakness for music and dance. The big selling point is that Rue seems to like it, and he trusts their judgment. He's also in a good enough mood that the idea of tackling something sad isn't so daunting.]

It is perfectly okay.

[A wing settles over Casey and the movie begins! Many apologies in advance for how sappy and overly dramatic the whole thing is. Think Moulin Rouge level of ridiculousness. What that means for Casey though, is that at any high tension moments, Rue gives him an excited squeeze, trilling above his head, and that whenever that sorrowful music begins in the background, Casey is getting engulfed in feathers to be cuddled and soothed.]

[It is very silly, but Casey seems to appreciate the whimsy of it all, the levity very welcome as a bookend to a pleasant feather-preening afternoon. He's attentive to Rue's reactions about as much as the movie itself, honestly. It's cute, and makes him glad they picked this one. And if he gets a little emotional over the sad parts, well, it's just nice to be doing it for a normal reason like sad fiction instead of the usual 'real life is hard'. It makes it that much easier to switch back to laughing at the silliness.

In short, an excellent call, and he can see why Rue likes it. (Apparently he likes silly movie musicals now, too.)]

[By the end of the movie, after two hours of popcorn and cuddles and fresh refills of hot cocoa, Rue is just a little teary-eyed as the film comes to a close, nuzzling against Casey's head, a touch of emotion choking their voice.]

Ah, I always forget how much the ending touches me! But was it not lovely?

[He's a little sniffly himself, scrubbing knuckles against his eye.]

It was really good! Even though it was sad... it wasn't hopeless... I liked it.

[Very different from your typical action movie. Or Jupiter Jim.]

[Even just sitting beside them, he'd be able to feel the way that Rue preens at the knowledge that Casey enjoyed one of their favorite movies. What a special moment to share together!]

Whew! I think, if you would enjoy it, we should watch something much lower stakes next, just to calm down from that rush of emotion. I could put on hair tutorials or a cooking show or perhaps animal videos? I am happy with any of them.

[He's just happy to be here and enjoying their company. The fact that they can enjoy the same things is a bonus.]

Hmm... [He can't decide. He considers for a moment, lifts a hand, clenching and unclenching it into a fist, then lifts it up towards Rue, two sets of fingers together like a Vulcan salute- or a turtle hand.]

Pick one.

[Rue could not agree more. It is funny how it all worked out. That Casey and Rue can come from such wildly different backgrounds and end up falling into perfect sync with one another.

It is just so easy. Far easier than it had ever been with any of the fey back home.]

Hm, how about this one. [Rue reaches up to gently tap the first finger with a talon.]

[Apocalypse Turtle RNG is a go- he clenches the rest of the fingers and thumb in, leaving the tapped fingers uplifted as he smiles.]

That one's a hair tutorial.

Hair tutorial it is.

[Just give Rue a moment to flip around through menus to drag up a running queue of random hair styling videos. Look, they may not have hair, but Rue is quite fascinated with how hair can be so artfully styled.]

Do you need anything else first? More cocoa? Another blanket?

Oh, I can get more cocoa! You stay here, you've got the relic all set up. There's lots of blankets, though. Do you want anything?

[He starts trying to untangle himself from the blanket nest, he's like three or four layers deep. It's very cozy, but he could probably do for a stretch anyway.]

[It's so silly, but Rue is so used to taking care of everyone else, that even the little offer for them to relax while he retrieves something from the kitchen leaves them watching after Casey so warmly. It's just so sweet. Not since Hob was around have they felt so cared for.]

Perhaps just some water to wash down all of this popcorn with. Besides that, I am in need of nothing. Thank you, Casey.

Okay, water and cocoa. Got it.

[Wow he really tangled himself up good with these blankets, it turns out. Very un-ninja like. In the end he just rolls right off the edge, transitioning smoothly back to his feet once they're free. Aw yeah, blankets defeated.

To the kitchen! He'll be back in a minute with fresh drinks. Look, he's even taking the dirty dishes with him. A very trained lad.]

[Casey rolls and Rue makes the very standard parent gasp when any of their children do something that might injure them, but that noise quickly turns into gentle delight as the boy catches himself as smoothly as anything. Accept Rue's soft applause as the boy picks up the dirty dishes and returns to the kitchen.

It is just not possible for Rue to adore him anymore than they already do.]

Darling - [They call from the couch, burrowed in blankets and content to not leave.] If you are still feeling peckish, there's some cookies in a tin on the countertop, if you'd like them.

[From the kitchen, as the kettle starts boiling-]

The popcorn's pretty filling, I don't want to take too much. [....] Maybe just one. Want me to bring you some?

[When your "food is limited you're not allowed to eat more than your rations" brain is at war with your "MOM MADE COOKIES" brain.]

Why don't you bring the whole tin? That way, if you change your mind, you won't have to battle your way out of the blankets to get up again.

[And then Rue can snack at their own discretion too. :>]

[There's a pause and a brief clunking noise, and Casey appears with one glass of water and a cookie tin, the lid ajar and one cookie between his teeth while is hands are full.]

'elivery! [Since the kettle is still heating up, once his hands are free he grabs his cookie from his mouth and leans on the arm of the couch to see the relic, his arm bumping against Rue's.] Did you find something good?

[It's all on instinct how Casey brushes up against their arm and Rue's head tips affectionately back into his.]

I did! [They angle the relic just so, so Casey can catch a glimpse of some beautiful feathered 80's hair.]

I think we shall get plenty of inspiration on how I can do your hair later.

[He leans into the headbump as he checks out the preview image for the first video, brows lifting.]

Whoa... it looks so fluffy. You really think my hair could do that?

[It's always been so flat. Volume-building isn't really a thing where he's from, except for those like April who had natural poof or curl. It's a whole new world for this kid. Though being able to keep it clean on the regular here has admittedly done wonders for him the last several months, so... he can see some potential.]

[Casey is a true friend for immediately being interested and not just making a face at the very idea.]

I do. Though we shall have to watch together and see just what the full process looks like, won't we? I imagine it will be a lot of backcombing and hairspray.

[He'll probably hate it but he keeps saying he'll try anything once, so may as well go the distance.]

What's hairspray?

[Like- the name implies spray for hair but that is as far as context will take him.]

[Once is all Rue needs to fulfill their dream of 80's hair Casey!

As for the question, the owlbear is absolutely prepared for it, reaching over to brush the hair from Casey's eyes with their claws, smiling warmly at him.]

It is a type of spray that adds texture to the hair, that helps it add volume or keep certain hairstyles locked in place. It helps for more elaborate hairstyles.

[The hair petting coaxes a quiet, pleased noise from him as he ponders the answer. It's so hard to imagine... all the things people make just to do something like style one's hair.]

There's way too much to remember for this stuff... how does anyone keep track?

[He's only learned about five things for aesthetics, boy has no idea what's coming.]

[Forgive Rue, for running their talons through his hair and giving it a gentle shake, just to fluff up his hair up and help them imagine just what Casey's hair might look like bigger and fluffier.]

I imagine that most humans do not need to memorize all of the different varieties, they simply adapt what works best for them into their daily routine, so they hardly have to think of it. And hair stylists are educated for some years on how to work with all types of hair, so I'm sure that helps them memorize most of them.

[They chuckle softly, watching his quiet amazement at this whole new world that has just opened up to him.]

And the rest? That is what video tutorials are for.

[Immediately forgiven, because that feels quite nice, actually. Even if it musses up his hair a little, he's fully expecting it to get fixed before too long, considering the tutorials they're about to get into.]

I guess that makes sense... I can learn as I go, then.

[At least the basics don't seem so difficult to learn.]

I know they're not very long, but do you ever get to do anything with your feathers or fur?

[The question gets a delighted hoot out of the owlbear. They are touched that Casey would even ask.]

No, there is not much that I can do with either that would not look more foolish than anything. Though when I wore the glamour of an elf, I very much enjoyed getting to play with hairstyles on myself.

It's hard to imagine you being anyone but yourself. What does an elf look like, anyway?

[Someone give this kid a fantasy novel.]

[It has been long enough since Rue had to last slip on their glamour that the very idea does not fill them with immediate dread, so without even a warning, the owlbear is there one moment, and the next, a green-skinned elf is in their place.

And it must a cognitive nightmare, being able to feel Rue and their soft feathers at his side, but to see a much slimmer and shorter figure some distance away. It's likely even stranger to hear Rue's familiar, gentle voice coming out of someone else entirely.]

Like this.

[Casey flails a bit, startled first at the change and then at the tickle of feathers against his arm where there appears to be no contact. He ducks out of sight below the couch arm for a second or two before lifting back up again, peering at the illusion with a hushed fascination. More magic! Even fancier magic! So cool...]

O-oh, wow... you're really pretty like that, too.

[Rue is certainly more used to compliments like that in this form, but coming from Casey, they know it isn't just mere flattery.

Knowing the owlbear as he does, Casey would be able to hear the fond smile and warmth in their voice, but it does not necessarily translate as well to their elven expression, which only pinches a little at the cheek.]

You are always so sweet, dear. Most elves are.

[And because Rue is all too happy to turn this too into a learning experience, they turn their head to give the teen a better view of their pointy ears.]

Most elves are fairly dainty and graceful, with pointed, elongated ears.

[Casey takes advantage of the offer to peer more closely at the illusion, climbing up to sit backwards on the couch arm and lean in. The ears are definitely something he'd noticed right away.]

You look kind of like a witch yokai. Most of them had ears like that, and different coloured skin. And magic, of course.

[The expression looks so weird, though. Even with an owlbear's face, it's so easy to recognize Rue's moods, how kind and friendly they are. With a more humanoid face, he'd expect that to continue, but not so much, it seems.]

I wonder if there are other similarities there. The term elf could only apply to the realms I am used to. It wouldn't be so unheard of to have certain races overlap across different worlds just under different names.

[Rue has heard of giant owl yokais before. Who is to say that a giant owlbear yokai does not exist somewhere too?

But after Casey get his fill examining them, Rue's elven glamour gives a little shoulder shake and the spell dissipates downwards in a sparkle of soft, magical glitter, leaving Rue just as they always are, giant and feathery and ready for hugs.

And just in time as the kettle whistles from the kitchen.]

Maybe! Witches are yokai but they can also be animal yokai at the same time... overlaps already exist.

[He gives their arm a light pat as he slides off the couch, reassuring himself of their proper return to normal. Feel feathers, see feathers. The world is back to how it should be.]

I like you better this way. Your smile looks happier.

[And off he goes to the kitchen to finish making cocoa-]

[casey you cant just SAY things like that!!

And how lucky they are that he frolics off because Rue needs a moment to just breathe after that incredibly sweet, entirely unexpected comment. Considering they do not have a true smile, to be told their smile looks happier as they are, even if Rue knows it is true, to have that truth acknowledged is healing in a way they didn't know they needed.

Whew. They'll be fine, Rue's just full of emotions right now.]

[he CAN and he SHOULD and he WILL-

but okay, he'll be back in a minute with his cocoa, setting the mug on the tray for a moment before crawling back into the blanket nest and returning to his burrowed position, fetching his drink and looking comfortable once more. Completely heedless of the Emotions he just evoked.]

All set!

[Rue's just going to bring Casey in for more cuddles by the time they hit play, all too content to just nuzzle close and watch some mindless, if not utterly fascinating videos. It's part of a playlist, so when this one finishes, another will automatically play after, and so on and so forth, so they can just sip their drinks, nibble on cookies, and enjoy the soothing hair videos for the rest of the evening together.]

hey cj lets go somewhere

[SO FAST-]

Of course. Anywhere in mind?

somewhere off the radar ig
need some space and i dont wanna be walked in on yk?

Yeah I know.

[Hmm. Give him a second.]

You remember where I used to live in Burrows? If you portal us there I know a spot, it's a quick walk.

[He's just gonna gear up in the meantime, just in case.]

lit ill be there in 2

[He's there in one minute, actually. Something obviously got him going and he's not putting his sword away. Instead he just knocks on Casey's door.]

Yo.

[Thankfully Casey could subconsciously feel the urgency vibe, and he's used to gearing up quickly. When the door opens he's dressed for the outdoors, mask on his head and gloves on.]

Hey. I'm all set.

Perfect. Lesgo.

[He doesn't waste another second, just popping open a portal to Burrows right there in the hallway.]

[Casey steps through immediately, and once they're on the other side, he leads Leo up the hill roof and down the other side, outside of the residential area and deeper into the trees. It's not an especially long walk, and he fills the space with a bit of idle smalltalk, but mostly he's quiet unless Leo talks. He knows how to keep quiet when on mission mode, and this feels... not quite that? But the vibe is different from usual.

Before too long, the trees break, and he leads them into a quasi-rectangular clearing with scattered stones and boulders, thick trees lining the outside in all directions, and this is where he stops.]

This is where I trained while I lived here. It's great, you can yell a bunch and nobody can hear it for miles.

[He keeps up the small talk easily enough; even if his nerves are jittery and a mess the more he thinks about how things in his life are going, he can still make pleasant conversation while they're walking. He doesn't wanna cause any distress until they're somewhere private.

But once they get to the clearing he looks around. Nods approvingly.]

Perfect. Good eye, this is... really perfect.

[Okay, well. At least he got the venue correct. Casey takes a moment to scan the area for the presence of anyone else around - force of habit, but also Leo indicated he'd wanted a quiet place which means no unwanted guests - before he turns back to Leo.]

What's going on?

[Not even going to give him the chance to lead with BS by asking if he's okay.]

[Smart because Leo would have simply chosen to not answer. Deflect probably, but he doesn't want to lie to Casey. Not after everything that happened. After everything Leo asked Casey to do.

He grabs a sword and flips it in his hand once before throwing it across the field and materializing himself to it. Then back closer to where he started.]

Needed to clear my head.

[Casey watches him quietly for a long moment, trying to scrutinize his expression, the request, their location, even his presence. If Leo wanted a quiet place to teleport around, he surely could have found one on his own. This feels intentional, but his own presence is the question mark he's trying to figure out as much as what Leo needs to clear his head about. (That is, admittedly, a longer list than he would like. Just two of the things that come to mind immediately are substantial.)

He rests a hand on his hip, close to where he stores his chainstick, though he doesn't touch it yet.]

Spar with me?

[An offer as much as a request. He's not sure what Leo needs yet, but he's also not sure he'll be told.]

[Maybe he wanted a witness. Maybe he wanted someone here to pick up the pieces if he couldn't pick himself back together.

But the offer gets his attention. He's... never sparred with Casey. Somehow in all the mayhem that happened, he'd only glimpsed at Casey fighting in the subway. He never got a good read on the guy. Leo knows Casey can keep up with him.

He sheathes his and moves to hold out one hand. A proper handshake before they start anything.]

Sure. Let's spar.

[Casey accepts the hand for a shake; his grip is firm, steady. He can't count the number of times he's sparred with Master Leonardo, and while he has no doubts that the experience will be quite different - they're more even in weight and size, no prosthetic, stronger ninpo - he knows Leo's strength well. He's not here for a serious fight, but he's determined to at least keep up, if it'll help Leo with whatever he's working through.

Once they've shaken, he takes a few steps back, assuming a ready stance, and gestures for Leo to begin when he's prepared.]

[Good firm handshake. What a pogchamp. With that out of the way, he steps back and into a ready stands, hands up and loose and balancing on the balls of his feet.

He tests the waters with a feint or two, like he'll come in with a punch before carefully slowly side stepping around to circle Casey.]

Hey... Did future-me tell you much about Pops?

[Casey's eyes narrow briefly, subtle but present. Pops. Worried about the adoption thing?

He follows Leo's movement, arms up and ready to deflect. Leo's always bouncing, full of energy, lightning-quick with fists, blades, and tongue, always. Casey could never hope to match him for raw speed and strength, so he's learned to deflect that boundless energy and strike between, to plant his feet and only move when he must, because his stamina would run out long before his opponent's.]

He told me a few things. Stuff you'd do together. TV, training. Tea. [He thinks for a moment, searching for the word from his childhood.] Wakoucha.

[There's a split second of recognition at the specific tea before he dives in. Not his usual too-fast-to-see speed, but still quick to get a light jab at Casey's chest before he's out again whether it landed or not.]

So the important stuff. [He goes in for another quick light punch, the other side and back out.] ....He sound like he had any regrets?

[It connects, but only just; Leo's slowed enough that Casey can shift back a half-step, and the strike is made just slightly softer than it would otherwise have been. The speed difference has Casey somewhat off-balance. He definitely wouldn't have been able to dodge that. Leo's going easy on him, or just off his game enough to count?

He's faster the second time, deflecting the punch and chasing after Leo instead of remaining passive, returning a punch attempt for Leo's arms. A misplaced strike to the shell or plastron could easily break his hand.]

He didn't call it a regret. But I remember he wanted to hear more stories. He wished he'd said he loved him more.

[Not a regret, but a wish. That's Leo talk for 'regret'. What he wouldn't give now to hear Splinter yelling at him or telling some long winded story that he could pretend to not care about while hanging on his every word.

The punch to the arm lands, glancing a bit as he jumps away. Good. Casey's going on the offensive.]

...I kinda get it. Kinda wish I could hear some of his stories now.

[Casey chases him, recognizing and taking advantage of the switch. He knows better than to do it for too long (sensei did this to him once, had him chase all the way around the dojo six times before he about passed out and sensei won without a scratch or a swing) but it's becoming obvious that the point of this is not the spar, and he'll follow his role a while.]

...What would you say, if he was here?

[An old question, maybe, but Leo won't know that.]

I-

[Hold on, he's going to come in low for a leg sweep, try to get Casey off balance. Leo slides past him quick, aiming for that left leg of his to take out. He ends up on Casey's other side, balancing himself with fingertips of both hands on the round to assess his next move.]

I dunno. I miss him? That I'm sorry?

[The leg sweep gets him, but as Casey drops he leans hard into it, catching himself and bracing his weight, kicking the other foot out to try and either knock Leo back or force a retreating dodge while he recovers. He's too vulnerable on the ground. "Get back on your feet, Case, or they swarm you. One more time."

He grits his teeth, rolling. He can do better.]

Sorry for what?

[Leo is at least a good sport and waits for Casey to get back to his feet.

But god. What a question. What isn't he sorry for? So much over the last year. When's the last time he got to hear Splinter drone on about a Lou Jitsu set story? Hear Mikey laugh at his brothers doing something stupid? He wishes he could hear April beg to have a normal day.

He hasn't gotten up from his stands half crouched, instead Leo lowers his head a little.]

Everything.

[Casey is back to his feet quickly, but at Leo's answer, he doesn't close the distance to continue the spar. Suddenly nothing is as important as that kind of confession.]

Leo... [Everything? What does that even mean? He watches Leo, expression pleading for more.] I don't understand.

[He said that out loud, didn't he?

Can't take it back. Not from Casey. He deserves better after everything.]

...Your sensei. Did any of them ever tell you how the invasion started? Not that thing about Metro Tower, I mean how it really happened?

Edited (my punctuation didn't go through... rip) 2023-11-04 15:26 (UTC)

[Casey's brows furrow. It was never sensei who told that story. He was hardly ever around when the adults began their dramatic retelling. Either they didn't talk about it around him or he made himself scarce. He never thought twice about it- decades into the apocalypse, who would need to hear the story over and over? (Besides the next generation, apparently. They really did tell that to kids.) Anyway, he already knew how it happened. How else could he have told Casey what to look for?

(Even though he didn't. He said to find it, not the where or the when or the how. They hadn't exactly had time for specifics, with a Titan looming over them and Krang hounds converging. He handed him a sketch and a blank canvas, thrust into a world he'd known nothing about. It was the turtles who knew where it was. The turtles who'd all been angry at Leo-

"This time we do it together-")]

He didn't. I knew he- he blamed himself. He didn't tell me why.

["I had it."]

You were right. Back in the subway. I was arrogant, and I didn't listen. Because it was my fault. Because of me, all of it happened.

[That was the crux of it. If he'd stopped trying to goad Raph into taking leadership back, if he hadn't kept trying to be a show off and prove something, maybe he would've listened better. He did hear Raph say he had the key. He just chose to ignore it and then play dumb later.]

[Casey opens his mouth. Closes it. Takes a hesitant step forward, as the wheels are spinning.

"Because of me."]

You lost the Key, [he whispers, and it's like dozens of puzzle pieces are slamming into place. Sensei's self-blaming. How much responsibility he'd shouldered. How weary he looked all the time. How sometimes he'd look at Casey and seem guilty, how often he'd say how he'd win the world back for him, as if that world hadn't been sensei's first, as if he hadn't been the one who lost everything.

No one else blamed him. But he-]

You lost it, [he says again, quieter, and drops to his knees. He needs a moment. His whole life's perspective has been shaken to the core. Everything- he shouldered everything- that empty world full of bones and ghosts and people living half-lives underground, he-]

[Unfortunately, the truth is bad. The truth is his sensei is a colossal fuckup that cost the entire world. And Leo here, half-sprawled on the grass, is well aware of it. It was his fault from the start. And maybe there was some tiny whispered part of him (guilt) that rationed that his life for the world maybe was worth it. Leo doesn't know if his brothers really made that big picture connection with Casey's apocalypse and his single selfish action yet like he had. But Leo couldn't stop thinking about it.]

...I haven't seen dad, or Mikey or April in a year now. And- And I dunno if I can face them. We saved our timeline but...

[Casey is quiet for a little bit, parsing this new information, still struggling to slot it into the story he'd always known. His sensei was larger than life, always, both in figure and presence. He'd been grown since Casey's earliest memory, and he'd had difficulty at times reconciling the sensei he knew with the much smaller, immature, reckless teenager from the past. How could this ever be sensei, he'd thought in the subway tunnel, infuriated by Leo's complete failure to lead the team effectively. "This is not about you," Master Splinter had told him, and he'd ignored it entirely. A lesson he should have heeded.

"This isn't about me," sensei had told him, twenty-four years later, right before he died sending Casey into the past. "It's our only chance."

"This is the only way," Leo told him, right before pleading with him to lock him away in another dimension with a mass-murdering monster.

Something twists inside Casey, like a torn muscle, sharp and aching. He wasn't always sensei. When the apocalypse started in Casey's timeline he was this age, young and inexperienced and arrogant and wild. Sensei had carried this weight for decades, learned to manage it. Understood his role but worked to make things better. He could still find the strength to fight, to smile, to love. Even until the end. It didn't... define who he was.

Casey takes a slow, shuddering breath.]

Haven't you done enough? [he manages to choke out, his voice tremulous.] You... you saved your timeline. You stopped the Krang. You destroyed their ship. You led us the way sensei would. You almost died... [He swallows hard.] Isn't that enough?

[His sensei had twenty-four years to sort it out. Twenty-four years to deal with the reality, compartmentalize the guilt and turn it to something productive. Twenty-four years to talk with his brothers and learn what was more important: placing blame or helping everyone survive and fight.

Leo, here and now, is so small. And still so young and inexperienced, but he's still dealing with the reality of his decisions nearly getting everyone killed in a single day. So many humans died in those twelve hours. Human lives that Leo could have prevented if he hadn't been so far up his own ass to prove something.

His fists grip at the grass in his hand, nearly pulling it up but stops and lets it go.]

...Is it? [If it was enough, then he'd stop having nightmares about it. Of being in that dimension stuck, or of watching his family be overtaken by pink pulsating flesh, or that he's the one being taken over and brought back by him family only to rip them and the world apart by his own pink clawed hands-

He shudders a breath and looks up at Casey. This boy they all laughed at when he brought them a warning and tried to help. How long had he been wandering the city looking for them? Had he gotten there before the Key was stolen and could have stopped it from ever getting to the Foot? How much time had been wasted?]

...I haven't done enough.

[Casey winces under his scrutiny, meeting Leo's gaze as long as he can before shifting his eyes away, uncomfortably aware of how important his next words could be. He came from the worst timeline. He grew up in the hellscape that Leo, that sensei must have thought that he created. A world where millions, billions had died. If sensei had been carrying that the whole time, he was even stronger a person than Casey had ever known.

At the same time...]

It's not your fault, [is finally what he settles on. A weak answer, perhaps, at first, but his voice grows stronger as he speaks, more resolute.] Just because you didn't stop it doesn't mean you caused it. The Foot Clan opened the portal. The Krang killed people. That's how sensei saw it. That's... how I see it.

[It might have taken him a long time, but that was the explanation Casey had been given. It hadn't been, find me in the past and stop me from losing the Key, it hadn't been tell past-me I destroy the world and kick my ass back in line, it was a group of other people opened the door and brought in the apocalypse. He may have blamed himself, but he didn't take responsibility for the entire end of the world. And perhaps as a kindness he'd tried to spare his past self the weight of all he'd been carrying.

Tried, being the keyword. But Casey wants to believe. That's not a weight that someone should ever have to carry. Not when he didn't open that door. Not when he gave everything to close it.]

[So many people died. Leo can't stop thinking about it. He wonders if there was a Peter Parker in their own version of Manhattan that never became Spider-Man. Had he died too? Peter's dead in his own timeline and it's all Leo can think about now.

He almost lost Raph. Dad got hurt and could have died. According to Casey everyone was going to die in the fight anyway. It was all his fault.

Y̴͎̌o̵̼̽û̷͙'̶͍̃v̸̦̿ẹ̶̆ ̴̙̆r̵̩̓ủ̴͖ì̶͍n̶̫͆ẹ̶͛ḓ̴͊ ̴͚̈́È̸̹V̷̜̋E̵̤̋R̸̙̊Ỷ̷̟T̵̕͜H̵̙͠Ȋ̴̻N̶͇͛G̶͉̿.̸͇͐

Metal and bone crushing in his ears, the angry roar of a warlord bending all his focus to one small turtle who'd stopped his reign of terror. Krang Prime may have been an asshole, but he was right about one thing. Leo did ruin everything. And he keeps doing it here too.

"Best version of himself". That's what Thirteen had said. What a joke. Still can't give Rue an answer because he doesn't want to ruin them. Scared to be more honest with Peter because Peter wouldn't want to stay with such a horrific fuckup that caused so many deaths. Scared to have a serious conversation with Raph about what happened because they have this tenuous peace between them now. He'd fought with Donnie for months since the situation at ADI blew up in their faces and now they're figuring things out again.

How can Casey be this positive? How can Casey have this much faith?]

Your sensei was a better turtle than I'll ever be.

[Casey had been staying where he is in part because it's where he fell, but also in part because he'd wondered if Leo wanted space to sort through his feelings, if it wasn't his place to reach out. He's not sure why he's here, why Leo had chosen him. He's not one of the brothers. He barely feels like he could be called family. They hardly know him, surely he's not earned the right.

Except... for all the times that Leo had reached out. For all the times Leo had draped an arm around him and welcomed his presence. For all the times Leo had helped him navigate a world completely alien from the realm of empty death he'd always known. When he was no one, a newcomer, almost an unknown. Some random kid who fell into their laps and shoved them face-first into the worst day of their lives. Who closed the portal, leaving him to die. And Leo still seems to like him. Still cares about him like he deserves it, despite... that.

"I'm... Hamato," he'd told Rue. Finally mustered the strength to believe it, to believe in sensei's words all those years ago. "You're one of us."

u may be a jones but ur a hamato too

Pushing against the ground, he rises to his feet. Takes a few strides to close the distance, and drops back down in front of Leo, close enough for their knees to touch. Contact is grounding, he remembers well. That part's important. The brothers are so touchy. They'd never have hesitated to reach out.

His voice is quiet, coaxing.]

Why do you think that?

[Maybe it's the year long build up. Maybe it's the lack of sleep for the entire year up til now, maybe it's just seeing more of his family and the pressure to be on point instead of it just being him and Donnie alone. He presses his hands to his face trying to breathe. Why wasn't he breathing? Dying, he was dying, his chest hurts, he can't breathe, everything HURTS, he wants his dad-

The world stops existing and it's just this clearing, him, and Casey Jones Junior staring at him, trying to talk to him like he's a normal fucking person and not the almost-harbinger of the apocalypse. Like he didn't get countless people killed. Like he didn't almost lose his family.

"Casey, I dunno if u know this but Im kinda a huge jerk most of the time."]

He raised a good guy like you.

[Casey goes still as a statue, staring at Leo with wide eyes. His heart is pounding so fast now. His hand lifts, drops. Curls tightly in the fabric of his pants.]

...You... knew?

[And here he thought he'd been so careful.]

[Casey was careful. Leo's just too good at reading people. And he'd be blind to miss his own influence on Casey.]

For a while, yeah. But you didn't say anything, so I figured you didn't wanna talk about it.

[....

Casey bows his head, feeling foolish, suddenly. Of course Leo would know. He's more intelligent and observant than anyone gives him credit for, mostly because he's so good at hiding it.

He lifts his hand again, this time to tug the mask off his head, drawing it down to rest in his lap. Of course it was Leo. Of course he'd have recognized it. He's covered in the clues: the slider marks, the blue motif, the way he practically worships the ground sensei might've walked on. The childhood stories he'd shared. The fact that he became a slider with a brooch didn't help.

He's an idiot.]

...I didn't want to tell you, [he admits at last.] It... didn't feel right. You were already dealing with so much, and... what would be the point? What if I made things worse? You're almost my age. You didn't live his life. You couldn't be my- [He falters, still wrestling with it, the word feeling like an imposter in his vocabulary. But Rue's support gives him courage. He is your-] ...my dad.

Casey, I promise you couldn't make things any worse than I do.

[Breathe. Casey needs this. It isn't about me. Leo takes a steadying breath and looks up at him; Casey was a few inches taller.]

But I meant what I said. I know he'd be real proud of you. And I still am too. You did everything right.

[The words feel so viscerally wrong to Casey, he's left reeling for a moment. "Worse than I do"? "Everything right"? It feels like a joke. If this conversation wasn't so uncomfortably serious he'd have said as much.]

How can you say that? I closed the portal. I locked you in there with him. Why... how is that anything to be proud of...? How could that ever be right...?

[It was an act that helped save the world and he feels nothing but monstrous for doing it. His own family.]

You helped save our world, Casey. You-

[If it was any other situation, if it had been Leo looking from the outside at it happening to someone else, maybe he wouldn't have the same thoughts. Maybe he wouldn't think, "Of course this had to happen this way, it's the only way it can work". Maybe he'd think it was a monstrous thing to do as well.]

Your sensei asked you to help save us. You did.

[Casey looks down at his hands, feeling- a lot, actually. Miserable. Numb. Anxious. Very, very worried. This still feels too wrong. Leo didn't even acknowledge the part about him- like it didn't even register. Like it wasn't a horrible thing to have done to him.]

...Leo... did you... [no. not past.] Do you think it was your punishment? For how it all started?

[That may be, by far, the most unfair question yet. No one is supposed to read him that well. He's been trying to compartmentalize and handle his trauma on his own, not freak everyone out around him with how sometimes the sound of metal clanging against metal sets his nerves on edge, how he chose Satori Hills to live in instead of close to Rue because the sound of wild animals growling has his blood run cold.

It didn't register because the minute Leo saw his brothers be punched out of the sky, he did the cost-benefit analysis in a matter of seconds. He'd had back up plans and contingencies and having to send Raph to save them was the only way that could happen and still leave one of them capable of stopping Krang. He'd known that very moment what was going to happen. He'd made peace with it.]

Donnie kept saying... I should have left. Ignored the world and gone with Raph to save them from that. That I should've ignored what was going to happen if I hadn't stayed. And all I could think about was how we wouldn't have gotten any other chance to get that close. That was the only chance we'd ever get.

[If they'd left Krang up there, then he would have built his forces more. Killed more people, turned more of them into a hivemind of mindless flesh and death. No, when it was just him alone, that was the only chance they had to avoid more casualties.]

So I.. i don't know. I don't know if the last year was punishment.

[That does sound like something Donnie would say. It wouldn't have worked, of course. Or maybe it would have for a while, until the Krang created more Technodromes, until they filled the skies, until the infection spread from city to city and the entire world became a wasteland. Until there was nowhere left to hide. He doesn't need to say all of that, though. Leo must know, to some extent. Everybody dies fighting the Krang. He'd said that to force Leo to face reality: that this isn't a joke, this isn't some guaranteed victory lap with a few setbacks in the way. The world had needed Master Leonardo, someone who understood the stakes. And in the end Master Leonardo is what they'd gotten.]

Sensei would have done it too, [he says quietly.] He did do it, in a way. [He remembers it too well. A portal, the fate of the world. A sacrifice required. That voice, so urgent, calling his name in the eleventh hour. If sensei had been here and the opportunity arose, he'd have done what Leo did in a heartbeat, without apology. He'd have made the same demand of Casey, and like a true soldier he'd have followed that order.

"This isn't about me."
"I can't lose you again."]

You... really are a lot like him, after all.

[And just like that he's crying, though he hadn't meant to. He'd wanted to be strong for Leo, to carry some of this weight, because he deserves that much, doesn't he? He's so useless, though. He cries too easily. His vision blurs and an ugly choking noise escapes his lips, and there's no stopping it now. Instead of trying he reaches out and - if Leo doesn't pull away - he'll drag him into a hug, clinging, desperate.]

I-I don't want you to be like him. I don't want you to think he's- better. I don't want you to sacrifice or punish yourself, I don't want you die alone. I want you to live... [His voice is so shaky, the words stumbling out of his mouth, but he won't stop. He needs to say it. It needs to be heard.] I don't care what you or anyone else says. You did enough. You did enough. Sensei... would be proud of you, too.

[He'd come out here to clear his head. To use the physical exertion to exhaust himself so he'd s top thinking about all of it for a while. And now it's all he can think about.

He'd asked Casey to come with him because he was the perfect distance to be manageable. Close enough to have context so Leo didn't have to explain everything from the ground up, but not so close that he'd hurt every time from now on looking him in the face after.

He'd been wrong on that last part, apparently. And now he's gone and made Casey cry. Fucked up. Fucked it up again. Fucked this whole afternoon up. They're supposed to be sparring and goofing off. Not breaking down.

Leo doesn't pull away from the hug; he clings to Casey like his life depends on it. Maybe that month and a half alone at Gloucester was punishment enough. Maybe Donnie forgetting who he was, and only Leo, was punishment enough. Maybe being completely cut off from the family ninpo for months on end was punishment enough.

Maybe it'll never be enough.]

...More stuff keeps happening. And- I ...I don't know if the universe thinks it's enough. [Casey's crying. Casey's crying and all Leo can think about his is own misery. Casey needs him. He's got to get it handled. Peter's dead and struggling, Rue is missing Hob and struggling, Casey is missing his entire family and everything he's known and struggling, Raph is still playing catch up to what he and Donnie went through and probably struggling. Leo swallows hard, rubbing Casey's back in that hug and not pulling away.]

But. A ninja's greatest weapon, right? So. [He swallows hard, blinking the tears back out of his own eyes. He's got this. He can do this.] So let's have some hope.

Edited 2023-11-05 06:47 (UTC)

Fuck the universe.

[He doesn't swear often. There's a lot less to swear about, post-apocalypse. But he hugs Leo tighter and he means every word, right to his bones. Right to his soul. If he'd been blessed with ninpo it would be pulsing, but all he's got is his heart, and by god he will give it.

He takes several slow, unsteady breaths afterwards, inhale, exhale. Stop snivelling, he's stronger than this. He can be the one who's strong for Leo, for once in his damned life. He blinks through his tears, and when he thinks at last he might speak without gasping, he tries again.]

Leo... you already know my world was horrible. It was the bad end nobody wanted. And yeah, we lost. But it was my home. That was my family. I'm- I'm glad it existed. [He lowers his head, resting it against Leo's shoulder. Left side. It was his spot.] If sensei never lost the Key, he wouldn't have raised me. And- I'm happy we saved your timeline, but I'm- I'm also glad it didn't... erase mine.

[His life was hard. It was full of heartbreak and death and misery. He is a soldier at 15, scarred and stunted and clueless to the modern world. Probably someone to be pitied, in the here and now.

And he would do it all again. Just to be with his family, he'd do it again.]

What happened... wasn't a good thing. But it wasn't- it wasn't all bad, either. Not for me. I'm- I'm grateful. And maybe I deserve punishment for that, but I refuse to take it.

[He reaches back, dragging Leo's arms away (stop comforting him, this isn't about me) and holds his shoulders instead, needing to look him in the eye. His own eyes are red, cheeks wet, but he won't cry again.]

The universe doesn't get to punish you anymore. You don't deserve it. I wanna protect you, this time.

[That's his hope.]

[When Casey rests his head on Leo's shoulder, Leo accepts it. He's the cuddler, he let his brothers hug on him and drape and be touchy when they needed it as much as he did. But when Casey takes his arms away, Leo's fingers are left trying to grab at air before he realizes what Casey's doing. Leaving Leo staring at that face and he can't hide how ugly his own face is with tears.

This isn't how this is supposed to go.

He's supposed to be comforting Casey. He started this, this is his mess he created, so he should be cleaning it up. Casey did and suffered so much to help them.]

The worst of it's over. I think.

[Casey looks at him for a long moment. Sizes him up, body language, expression. The tears he's trying to block.

Looks through him.]

That means it's time to talk about it.

[It doesn't even have to be with him. Rue, Peter, one of his brothers. Some willing stranger qualified to do that therapy thing or whatever it's called. But he knows how this works. Sensei finds a quiet corner to vent to himself or he trains until his hands bleed or he buries, he buries, he buries. And everyone else looks on because he won't let them help. He's the leader, inscrutable, invincible. Carrying a proud legacy of duty, sacrifice. Sometimes the sacrifice is physical. Sometimes it's something else entirely. It's not about me.

He leans in, bumping his head against Leo's.]

Anata wa hitori ja nai. ...Don't carry it alone, either.

[He's right here. Right now, it is about him.]

Talk about it, huh? [He asks it more casually, wiping at his eye but then Casey bumps his head to Leo's. It's such a familiar, familial thing. Leo can't help but laugh a little, a nervous little chuckle.

But those words are a shot in the dark.]

So he told you about that too?

[Casey nods, not breaking contact. The memory is fleeting, but the words, he will never forget. One hand drops, brushing lightly over the red markings on the mask in his lap.]

After my mom died. When I painted these for the first time. I thought I'd die alone, and he set me straight.

[He's not alone. Even when he lost them, even when he forgot, he's never been alone. He can't connect to them the same way, but he can still reach out to the ones who are alive. He can be here for Leo.]

[He'd said the words to Rue too not that long ago. Thinking more about Hob, about the rest of them. He'd meant it, of course. It isn't a phrase he touts around lightly.

Leo looks down at the markings watching Casey's hand trace along the red. Makeshift slider markings. The first real clue of his relation to future him that Leo caught on to. Everything else just solidified the notion.]

...He wouldn't want you to think you're dying alone. And he's right. None of us do. Not in this family.

...Yeah. [Not in this family. He looks up again, focusing back on Leo. He'd lived through Casey's worst fear, ever since he was a little boy. Death, all alone, the Krang with a knife to his throat. He's had so many nightmares, with those awful, gleaming eyes front and center. He can only imagine how hard it's been since that day.

His hand shifts again, this time to grasp Leo's, squeezing gently.]

Leo, please.

[Casey takes his hand. Leo just sort of stares at it. So many others in his life now that are as touchy feely tactile as him now. It's odd. But not unwelcome.

But the request...

Casey isn't going to let it go.]

....After the invasion. I ended up being pulled to some... other other version of earth. Some town in Massachusetts. [Does Casey even know Massachusetts? Probably not.] It's a tiny little state not far from us, it's- stupid. But. It was some secret government agency that was trying to stop an apocalypse on their world. A bunch of us got summoned there to help stop it. But any of us that had mystic abilities or magic couldn't use it. Said whatever we used would feed the ...'Entities' that were closing in.

[He lets that sit, lets Casey think about the implications of what that meant.]

[He doesn't know Massachusetts, but the rest he understands plenty.]

I heard a little about it... ADI. You couldn't use your ninpo.

[He's never had mystic powers, he can't even fathom how that would feel. But for it to come so soon after the Krang stole it from him, after he'd only just regained it, makes it so much worse. Another apocalypse? More invaders of Earth? Makes him shudder to imagine it. One was bad enough.]

[Leo nods, getting up to his feet. He isn't shying away from talking about it now. It's been a year for him since it started, and six months in this place to start mentally sorting out the feelings about it. He picks up his sword from where he dropped it, just examining the ito and the tsuba.]

Cut off from the ninpo entirely. I didn't trust anyone there the first month and a half. Almost entirely humans. Any non-human I met disappeared pretty quickly, so I couldn't trust them until I met Rue. [He turns the katana to make sure the blade didn't chip when he dropped it.] Donnie showed up about a month and a half later. Peter around the same time.

[Casey watches him, shifting his position to sit cross-legged in the grass. He re-fits his mask on his head, never taking his eyes off Leo's movements. The explanation is quick and vague, but he can read between the lines. More than a month of isolation, so soon after the prison dimension. Had he been safe? Healthy? Was he wounded and trapped in a new world after almost dying? It couldn't have felt safe, separated from his family and the ninpo. Then months until only Donnie arrived. Post-invasion had been a lot for him, but he'd been here, not even remotely alone. He can't imagine.]

That's... horrible. [Understatement for Leo especially, he knows, but the gravity of it is clear in his voice.]

[Stuck. Couldn't portal home; would his family even be in that version of Manhattan if he could?]

It was. [No sugarcoating that. Rue, Peter, and Donnie know his utter disdain for ADI. He wouldn't hide that from Casey either. He swipes at the air once with the blade, easy and familiar. Then starts idly making small portals to nowhere with it. Like reminding himself he can while he talks.] They gave us places to sleep, food to eat. Gave us a curfew. But for us non-humans, that we couldn't leave unless we were disguised. And expected us to try and stop these entities of 'fear' or whatever. Sometimes random bits would get loose and we'd have to track them down, bring them back.

Donnie ended up going to pick up these glass or something shards that had fallen everywhere. It... messed with him. Like- made him super lethargic, slow. Not like him at all. The guy he was rooming with [Not Leo. Hadn't wanted to stay with Leo, but they've sorted that out. They talked about it and Donnie understands how much that hurt now.] contacted me making it sound like he'd died. He- He was fine. We, um. Got him back to normal.

[Casey listens quietly, trying to focus on the big picture without losing important details. It's so strange. In another context, parts of that would be normal. Curfew, assigned residency and rations, just typical aspects of an apocalypse life. The smallest slip-up, the wrong person, wrong place, wrong time combination could have destroyed the entire base. (Had, in the past. Multiple times.) But they lived that way mostly by choice, for self-preservation and to protect each other. To be abducted, captured, depowered and then treated like that... there's no agency in that. He hates the idea of his family othered that way, too. Non-humans. As if humans are better.

(He thinks of Hunter. Maybe he's right to hate humans. There are so many, apparently, who are just terrible to the core.)]

I'm sorry... that must've been so scary for the both of you.

[So slow and lethargic he seemed dead? And for that to be the message Leo received? His thoughts immediately turn to sensei, the day Uncle Tello died. He'd never witnessed such pain before, never felt it resonate so powerfully with his own. Twins. They should never be separated...]

[Haha well about that.

Leo stops to look back at Casey for a second. Then at the ground. Casey had asked him. So simply, so heartfelt. Please. He wanted to know. He lowers the blade, the portals disappearing. Dr McKay was... just an asshole, really. Similar breed as Donnie. He hadn't thought about how the message was received, just stating facts as he saw them with no context provided. Leo had misread the situation.

Leo should sit. But he can't, he's got the anxious energy thinking about the last couple of months in that place.]

Wasn't the worst.

The worst was- [He takes a sharp breath.

"I only know who you are through process of elimination and a discussion with Rue."

It still is ice in his veins to remember. Standing on those steps, staring at his brother who was bewildered staring back at a stranger.] A little later.

I don't... I don't know what happened or how, but. Donnie.. forgot me. He remembered everyone, everything else. But not me. That place made him forget me. [His grip on the hilt of his katana is shaky with how tightly he holds it.]

Got that fixed too. It took a while. [Donnie had read that book, he'd seen and felt and heard everything Leo experienced alone with Krang Prime. But the important part was Donnie remembered him again.]

But by then, there was some crap about other people trying to take over ADI and everyone trying to leave. But ADI helped keep us non-humans disguised. And none of the humans there thought about what we were supposed to do if we couldn't leave.

...And next thing I know, I'm here.

[In contrast to Leo's restlessness, Casey tries to remain where he is; a fixed point for Leo to orbit, so he'll know where Casey is, where not to throw a blade. Where to return to, if he's needed. At that admission, however, his hands brace against the dirt and he very nearly rises and rushes over. He wants to. His heart is aching for it. He hears the rest of what Leo says but it pales, it pales in comparison to that.

Forgot him. Only him. It brushes up against something Casey knows and has experienced so intimately. To wake in the past, surrounded by his family, his dead family, only to find himself bound and interrogated. "Who are you," from one who'd carried him so carefully as a child. "Why are you wearing that," from the one who gave him all the gear he wore. "Why didn't you tell me," the wrathful accusation from one who in another world had raised him, hands reaching to harm, not to care.

It's not the same. But it's close enough that he feels the ache, recognizes at once how wretched Leo must have felt when it happened.]

How long? [His voice sounds too hushed, too fragile. He tries again.] How long was he like that?

[How long was Donnie Leo-specific-amnesiac.

He shrugs.]

A few weeks? A month? [It had felt like ages to him. The only family he'd had there didn't know him at all. Had outright told Leo to leave him alone in no uncertain terms. It lasted ages too long. Rue and Peter had been balms to the ache at the time.]

...Hunter here doesn't remember me either. I'd met him there, him and Flapjack. But the one here .... [He sighs before finally sitting back down behind Casey, back to back. He'd never just laid everything out before. In his head, sure, but not to anyone else and not out loud. Leo's bones ache with exhaustion from it now.] This place is nice and all but... I. I miss dad.

[Me too, he wants to say. Opens his mouth, closes it. Tilts his head back to bump against Leo's, quietly relieved that he's close again. He's not sure how to address the Hunter comment, and perhaps it's not very relevant right now. (Weeks. A month. That's so long, even in the grand scheme of things. Every day would be suffering. He knows this.)]

You'll see him again. [He squashes that pang of jealousy. He's here for Leo.] I know it doesn't count for much now, but you will. And he'd be proud of you for making it through all that.

[What he'd heard from sensei, what he'd witnessed in those handful of hours in the past- family meant everything to Master Splinter, as much as any of them. Leo's well-being would be his top priority.]

[He shifts carefully, hugging his knees and burying his face into them. He misses home. He misses his subway care they'd barely moved into, misses dad's recliner, misses the sound and whir of Donnie's machines, hearing Raph working out in the early morning hours when Leo hadn't actually slept.

Casey can probably feel the way his whole body shudders. Rue and Peter don't know the full story of what happened back home, just the cliff notes when they had pushed Leo to hear anything. Raph didn't know any of what happened unless Donnie told him. And Casey here is the only one to know the full story.

I wanna go home. It's his thoughts, and it feels so juvenile in the grand scheme of everything they've been through. A year. A year without his family.]

I miss dad, and Mikey, and April. I wanna see them again.

[The shudder is more than enough. Casey shifts, turning around and pulling Leo against him for a proper hug, warm and encompassing, one hand rubbing up and down his shell. He doesn't say anything this time. What can he say? He can't make it better, can't make them magically appear. He can't send them home. He most definitely can't replace them.

It's all he can do. He hopes that even for a moment, it might help. To just be, to sit with him and hold him and understand what it is to miss your family, and long for a home far out of your reach.]

[He'd only let himself be emotional like this partially in front of Peter, and even then Leo had been careful about it. Not fully, not completely. He feels ashamed not keeping it together. But Casey hugging him he can't help it. He sort of half-rolls into the hug, burying his face against the boy some future him had raised in some other timeline.

He'd gone through so much. Leo would never really, completely feel like he's done enough to make up for the pain and death he'd brought to Manhattan. He's only glad they managed to stop the Krang from spreading further.

But somewhere buried in the hug and clothes, Casey can hear him muttering.] Sorry. I'm sorry, Casey. [What for? He couldn't say. Too many things. Everything.]

[He hears it, and he winces, holding on more tightly, wishing it could wash away all of Leo's regrets. He seems so... small, like this. So much more like the young teenager he is than the sensei he'll become. It doesn't make him any less, but it's... easier to recognize it, now. Trembling, apologetic.

But sensei cried, too. He let himself feel loss.]

You don't have to apologize. [What was it that Rue had said?] Feel what you feel. It's not weakness, it's- it's a gift.

[He's allowed to cry. He's allowed to need comfort. He's allowed to seek it out, to ask for it, from the people who love him. Casey's learned that lesson well.

He swallows hard, and musters a small smile.]

And it doesn't make you any less cool. I promise, I'm not going anywhere.

[Wrong- It's...

He's screwing this up too. He hadn't brought Casey out here to start sobbing on him or tell him of what might be the worst year of his life.

Leo sniffles, pulling back to wipe at his eyes.]

Sorry - this isn't what I asked you to come out here for. I-i really meant to train some with you.

[Casey doesn't exactly force it - he couldn't, supermutant and all - but he is reluctant to let go, recognizing a door trying to close in his face.]

Leo... that isn't what you said.

[He thinks back to them trying to unlock their ninpo together on the tree tops. Watching Raph break down, desperate to hold everything together alone. Losing his composure because he thought he had to do it himself. April's words ringing back. He has to trust them like they trust him.

He should trust them. He knows he does. But do they trust him? He's not the same as he was at the end of all of that, he know she hurt his family with that decision to lock himself away.]

Clear my head with training.

How's your head?

[Did it help? This is hard. He knows so many of Leo's tells, but the context makes it harder to navigate. Sensei never broke down and shared his traumas. They'd shattered and cried together, when Raph died, when Uncle Tello died, when Raph died again. The three of them, together with Master Michelangelo. But this wasn't it. He doesn't have this cheat sheet. He is at once unqualified and one of the most qualified. It's a little infuriating.

He wants to help so badly, the hard part is getting Leo to accept it. It doesn't... feel like enough.]

...Could probably use another round of trying to get a hit on you.

[He needs to pull it together.]

[Casey looks immediately reluctant.]

You can if you want. I don't think it's what you need, though.

[Leo sits quietly for a long minute. Just thinking. Feeling his own ninpo out. Feeling the bouncing electric static of his soul and heart coursing wildly through his veins trying to reach conduits not available to him - his father, Mikey, April - that go nowhere.

Doing it his way nearly got them all killed. Doing it his way caused so much death and pain.

Leo thinks back to the rooftop, how brighter everything seemed in that moment of epiphany he'd had.]

Okay... [He starts it unsure. Like he isn't sure he's doing the right thing, but wants to try.] Then... what do you think?

[Some of the tension leaves Casey's shoulders, though not all, as the question itself remains. If Leo had asked for another spar, he'd have done it; at this point he'd do just about anything Leo asked of him, bar one. His heart wouldn't be in it, though, and he doubts it would have satisfied either of them.

What does he think. That is a darn good question. He feels so far out of his league, a flag drifting wildly through an storm with no visible beginning or end. He doesn't feel equipped for this, but no amount of doubts could drag him from Leo's side right now. If they stop now to find someone else more capable, he's not sure when (or if) Leo could be coaxed to open up again. Especially if this has taken a year already.

Rather than answering directly, he holds both of his hands out to Leo, palms up, an invitation and a request, both.]

[Leo wipes at any lingering wetness on his face and cheeks, ignoring the damp edge of his mask. But with no response, he turns to look at Casey and sees the offer. His eyes focus on Casey's hands, then back up to his face before turning to fully face Casey and sit seiza.]

You... wanna dance? [He has no idea really. So smart and yet. Still, Leo rests his hands in Casey's for now, not sure what to expect.]

You're such an ass, [is Casey's retort, without an ounce of venom (maybe a slice of exasperation, affection-tinged). Leo's unlocked something in him, a feral cat that won't return to its cage now. The sensei scales are gone from his eyes.

His fingers curl around Leo's, and he closes his eyes, thinking. Thinking what.]

...You know... in the future, Master Michelangelo became a real philosopher. Sensei would go to Raph for strategy, he'd go to Donnie for making the plan happen, and he went to Mikey to make peace with his decisions. They'd sit like this, talk, and breathe together. And Master Michelangelo would remind him it was worth it. He was the only one that sensei could sit still for.

[He opens his eyes, brows furrowed, and focuses on Leo.]

We both know you're going to keep missing them. Until they're here or you're home, that's how it is. And nothing can undo what happened, not even time travel. [His continued existence alone proves that.] I think... you need to make peace with your decisions.

[He has to stop himself from saying out loud: "Did your sensei teach you language like that too? I bet he did." No, focus on what he's saying now. This is important to Casey, which means probably important to everyone around him too.

And he does listen. And all of that makes sense. Especially knowing that... probably they all started falling one by one. Casey had said Master Michelangelo had sent Casey back in time, which meant Michelangelo was last man standing besides Leonardo. His future self probably sat with Michelangelo a lot in those last ...months? Years? He doesn't know. He's not going to ask Casey those kinds of details. His heart aches enough.

Leo stares down at their hands held between them.]

Yeah. You're probably right. [But how does a sixteen- No. Seventeen. He'd been away from home long enough to pass his birthday. How had they missed that? - year old make peace with a childish mistake costing thousands their lives?] How would I even start?

[It's not a question easily answered, though Casey wishes it was. He wishes his Mikey was here. He'd be able to tell Leo exactly what to do, surely. After all, he'd helped sensei manage his own guilt. How many times had a plan gone wrong? How many times had he ordered entire groups of people out to die? So often it had been pointless. So often they gained no ground, or even lost some. To make peace with it was to know that giving up would be worse, that everyone was trying their best, that you can only mourn the dead and learn from the loss and keep fighting. He pulled his circle closer to him, and he never gave up. Even after losing everything.]

This is the start. [To share it. To speak it aloud. He's no counsellor or philosopher but he knows that much. He's felt it, the peace that settled over him after sharing his secret with Rue weeks ago.] Why did you ask me here?

[That's the part that confused him. He wants to know Leo's thoughts on their purpose here- it's an aspect of the starting place. It feels important.]

[Leo wasn't really sure what he'd ultimately planned coming out here. Maybe sparring, maybe just... feeling his ninpo and relaxing knowing he can use his powers again. Having a breakdown wasn't exactly in his game plan for this, but he'd accounted for it given how important and integral the family ninpo is.]

...I wanted someone familiar enough to understand but not so close it'd hurt in case anything happened. ['Anything like this', he doesn't say.]

[Kind of ouch, but also, very fair. That's pretty much an accurate description of where they stand.]

Hurt you, or them? [Him, technically. Since it was him here and now. But the specifics of it doesn't actually matter.]

[He's trying to take his time. Time to really, really think about all of this instead of his kneejerk response answers. He adores Casey, thinks he's cool as hell. But he's also still new, and that history isn't quite there yet. Give it time, but for right now? That's what he has.]

...I don't know. Yes? Both?

[He'll take it, whatever Leo is willing to offer. It's plenty.

Casey looks down at their hands briefly, then back to Leo's face. He looks miserable, and it's a strange sight to see, but he knows it's a good thing. He's not hiding it. Or maybe right now he can't anymore.]

You didn't hurt me. [And he means it; he'd cried for Leo, not because of anything he'd done.] How do you feel?

[Not yet, he thinks. Didn't hurt you yet. But he doesn't say it. Instead he just still stares down at their hands.]

... I don't know. Tired.

Tired?

[That could mean a lot of things, he knows, and his voice is quietly coaxing. Tired of what?]

Emotionally, mentally? All of it.

Which is kinda what I wanted coming out here. So good job.

[He sure doesn't feel like he's done a very good job, but it doesn't... sound sarcastic, so he's hoping it helped a little.]

...I'm glad you opened up. I know you'd rather, um. Protect us. [And himself, he suspects, but for all his selfish bravado and confidence, Leo thinks a great deal about those around him, far more than he lets on. And he ends up suffering for it.] Sensei never let me help him like this. Thank you... for trusting me. If you ever need to talk about stuff, I promise I'll listen.

...Yeah. I'll keep it in mind.

Seriously, um. [He rubs at the back of his neck, back of his head. It's a little nervous and he hopes Casey doesn't change his dynamic too much because of this. (Hypocrite. He knows he's a hypocrite, he did the same thing to Peter after finding out Peter died.)]

Thanks.

Of course... any time.

[Feels weird to say 'you're welcome' to that for some reason. This wasn't an act of service, it was... well, it was something. Something else. But he won't pry further, as this was already a lot. Leo wanted to clear his head, so...

Casey shifts back a bit and pushes himself to his feet, offering his hand out to help Leo up if he wants. There's a small smile on his face, some worry lingering, but hopeful that something good will come of this.]

You want to head back? Or go for round 2.

[Either answer would be perfectly understandable, after what just happened.]

[He takes the hand, pulls himself up to his feet but holds that hand a second or two longer.]

I mean, gotta be round two, we barely finished round one.

[Casey smiles again, warmer this time, and he doesn't let go until Leo does. If Leo was worried about a changed dynamic between them, all signs point to the contrary so far.]

That's true. I haven't gotten to kick your butt yet.

Ohoho, you can try. Don't know if you'll succeed, young one.

We'll see.

[He shifts back into a fighting stance, rocking on his heels for a few seconds to shake the stiffness from his legs after kneeling for their talk, and lunges in to take the first strike this time. He'll be sure to give Leo a run for his money- and hopefully a good tussle will take both of their minds off of everything.]

[It's gonna be SUCH a good tussle! Leo's aiming to do more grappling and wrestling this time around.

He takes step to one side, letting Casey lunge forward into empty air and laughs a little. Oh this'll be good.]

[Casey's ready for Leo to be wiley, dropping down from his initial lunge and twisting himself around, trying to catch Leo's bouncing feet with a leg sweep from the side.]

Oho- so he's got tricks!

[He sounds impressed more than anything. He sees the leg, backflipping away from it and landing a good five feet away in a crouch.]

Not bad.

Just a few.

[Casey rolls back to his feet, continuing the offensive by chasing after where Leo had crouched. He's low to the ground, so let's try a few kicks next. He may not be as quick or strong as Leo, but his form is solid; he's obviously well-trained. Sensei did good with this one.]

[Whenever Casey - or Hunter - leaves the apartment for the day, they'll find a wrapped box left at their doorstep. The box is addressed to the both of them, with two separately wrapped gifts inside.

For Casey, he'll find a sweater knit in the most softest teal color, with a matching scarf and mittens. And just a very simple note card inside:]

Enjoy!
-Rue ♥

Donnie said yes. ♡

Edited 2023-11-10 07:30 (UTC)

[??

!!!

!!!!]

That's amazing! Congrats on getting 2 official sons :)

I am so happy, Casey!

Thank you for being my very first. :)

Thank you for asking me to be <3

[sobbing]

You should bring Hunter over for dinner on Friday. :) I saw a very fun idea with potatoes to try!

Oh, sure! I'll let him know.

[Less fussed about asking him first, for once. It seems they've settled in together to the point that the invitation being offered is enough for Casey.]

Do we get a hint?

It involves cheese.

:)

[G A S P]

I love cheese...

[hehehe]

Then trust me, you both will love it.

I do!

And we'll bring

[UHHHH]

dessert!

[FUCK WHY DID HE SAY DESSERT, DESSERT IS SO HARD]

Perfect! Then I shall expect the most lovely of desserts. :)

[they are teasing but also panic, casey]

Okay, quick question-

Are you at home now, or at school? I have something for you.

[!!! Something for him?]

I just got home! Want me to come upstairs?

Oh, yeah!

I'll unlock the door, so you can come in.

[He might also clean up a little so the apartment is mildly less of a disaster. Last month has been hard enough Peter hasn't kept things as nice.]

OK, be right there!

[You've got maybe ten minutes to tornado-clean before the door knocks as a warning and Casey lets himself in a moment later, a little tentative.]

Peter?

Hey, Casey! [Peter calls out from out of sight. The apartment is much cleaner than it was before, even if a few blankets are still tossed on furniture and takeout bags shoved into a garbage can near the open kitchen area.]

Come in- hey! no!

[And there comes a little robotscuttling across the floor towards the entryway. Its eyes flash blue and red respectively.

Peter comes sliding across the floor, leaping forward to grab it. It jumps, directly at Casey.]

Surprise, that's your gift, it's got a mind of its own!

Whoa-!!

[So here's the downside of growing up in the apocalypse: surprises are a bad idea, generally. Mostly when little creatures try to jump at you. As soon as it lunges for him, Casey leaps back from the doorway and stretches a hand out to defend, and his grapple kicks in, firing the claw out to catch the little bot mid-jump around the midsection. The grapple retracts just enough to leave it hanging, all limbs wiggling, from his outstretched arm. Very spider-like, actually.

Casey looks at it. Then Peter. Then it. Then-]

Um. What?

[Is his gift a killer robot?? Because if so he has some questions for you, buddy.]

[Peter manages to skid to a stop in the entryway. Openly relieved Casey managed to grapple the bot.]

Uh, surprise? [He walks over to gently grab the spider pot from the grappling hook if he can.

Once freed, the bot beeps repeatedly, wiggling in offense before Peter sets it on his shoulder.] Its supposed to be like for helping around the house, but it has a mind of its own.

[The grapple releases and winds itself back up into Casey's wrist, but you can believe he's keeping that on standby...

He tilts his head, leaning in to peer at the spiderbot, still confused.]

Whoa... did you build that?

Oh yeah! [Peter pats its little head earning some more mellow beeps in kind. The spider bot tries to lean into the touch, but its very Round.] I was in a robotics club before- and I felt like making something.

So I made like a few of these.

Huh... that's really neat.

[Casey leans in closer, reaching out to - maybe? - try and give it a pat as well.]

So was it trying to escape, or was it just really excited?

[Does it jump people like an over-eager dog or should he brace himself for home ambushes.]

[The spiderbot accepts the pets with a beep. Its eyes flash blue and red, before settling on blue.]

I'm not sure yet? I don't know what it's going to be like. The one I gave Rue is really friendly.

[That's... reassuring? Maybe? He's gonna go with yes and hope for the best. And aww, it's kind of cute, in its own way.]

O-oh, well. That's good! [He'd rather not have an attack robot at Mom's, much as he appreciates Peter's efforts.] Maybe it just needs training. How is it for maintenance? And power, does it need charging or does it self-regulate?

[Nerd-to-nerd communication, activate.]

[The spiderbot raises a leg trying to keep Casey's hand there. Peter snorts a little in amusement.] I built them to assist, so, once they get used to you, I think it'll work out pretty well.

For maintenance, its pretty easy- [This is sure vague specific nerd talk being done in narration.

As spiderbot 'blinks' at Casey.

Peter fishes a remote out of his pocket.] This is the main control for it, hard reset and power off. It usually self regulates, but I have a charger too. You place it on the station and it'll be good.

[Casey nods along... obediently patting the demanding spider. Just who is training who?]

Sure, sure... okay, I got it. [This sounds well within his range of experience, thank goodness. It means he doesn't have to bother anyone else with it.] How come you decided to give one to me? Not that I'm ungrateful! It's really cool, thank you. [But why tho.]

Oh, I thought you'd like one-? [Peter offers, now wondering if this was weird.

The spider bots eyes flash, it beeps audibly, moving to try and anchor itself onto Casey's arm to skitter over.] I know you like tech a lot, and I thought it'd be cool if you had a bot you could work on occasionally or just hang out with.

I programmed them to help collect small items, follow basic commands and be friendly more or less.

Ah- I do! I just, uh. [Casey lifts his arm to let the bot scuttle over and perch wherever it pleases. He'll give it another pet, because that is what you do with nice robots. He knew SHELLDON after all.] This is going to sound ungrateful, but I never really got gifts for no reason back home. I'm still getting used to it here.

[Giving, and receiving, both. Actually, it does sound ungrateful. Let's try again.]

But- thank you, really! It's super cute. And it is cool. Maybe it'll be like- my almost-pet, like Flapjack.

[Spiderbot nestles on Casey's shoulder, front legs fussing at any strands of hair it can find hanging within range.]

Oh, well- I hope you adjust to it, since whenever your birthday hits, I think everyone is going to go a little crazy. [Peter says easily back.] Or whenever Rue feels like doing random gifts, you can't really stop them when they set their mind on something.

You're welcome, feel free to name Spider-bot whatever you want, or modify it. Its here for you, Casey.

[...ahaha... birthday...]

I don't know what Rue had planned for my birthday... they haven't told me when it's going to be moved to yet. You're right about the random gifts, though. They do that already.

[He'd gotten the jacket well before he was officially family after all. Like a premonition. He gives the Spider-bot another pat.]

I'll come up with something. It should have its own name too.

Wait- [The implication hits and Peter has to ask. He hopes he's wrong about that and Rue is just gung-ho about a party.] Did we seriously miss your birthday?

[Casey is suspiciously silent for a long moment, ducking his head and focusing on the robot.]

Not... on purpose. It was right after Leo got hurt, so...

[No one was ready for a party when the day rolled around.]

[The small spider bot reaches out to try and hold onto his hand.]

Oh. [Pops out of Peter's mouth before his expression softens to something sad, a bit regretful. He steps forward wondering if this is too much but- opts to just pull Casey into a hug. It's quick, wary of making the other teenager somehow more uncomfortable.] god, Casey, I'm sorry the timing sucked on that.

[Oop, he is hugged. One arm is sort of pinned by the hug and the spider bot handhold, so after a moment, his free arm lifts to hold Peter back until he withdraws again. Definitely not too much.]

I... it's okay! Something terrible always happens around my birthday, I should be apologizing for not warning everyone.

[Kind of hoped this year would be different, in a world where terrible things don't always happen, but fate had other plans.]

Casey, if you try to say your birthday is cursed or anything, I'm going to throw you out a window. [Peter warns with a wrinkle of his nose.]

None of us knew that would happen, and its definitely not because of your birthday.

Okay but if you did, I'd be fine.

[Look, he's trying to be funny! Sheepishly. Awkwardly.]

I don't think it's cursed, just... I'm used to things going south. I think I got too comfortable with this place.

[Peter can't help but snort at that.] Not the point, and you know it.

Casey, things just happen, it's not your fault. Sometimes bad things happen, and it's out of our hands. We're going to celebrate your birthday, and its going to be really fun.

[He's just gonna silently laser focus on that "it's not your fault" for a few seconds and go back to compartmentalizing it. Nope, nope, noooope.]

I know... I said I'm used to it, not that it's my fault. [Every other time it hasn't been. And maybe the timing would still have been bad, especially if Peter... died. Like Leo thinks. (Thought? He doesn't know if they've talked about it since then.) Maybe something else would have ruined it. But this one was at least in part on him.] Anyway, it's fine. Rue gave me a cupcake.

You felt like you needed to apologize for not warning us, kind of veering close. [Peter bats back, but seems like he's going to let it be for now.]

Okay, I'm glad you have a cupcake. Gimme like a few days and I can get something together too. Wouldn't hurt to make something fun, right? [He's giving Casey an out. Take it if you dare, Jones.]

[Wow he can't even make a joke (that was also kind of not a joke and he was then called out for so now he has to pretend it was a joke-)]

You don't have to do anything else. Look, you just gave me this! [Pointing to the spider bot.] Give it a party hat, now it's a birthday present.

[Peter is dating the King Of Not Coping With Comedy, he sees you, Casey.] I want to, Casey. Spider-Bot was genuinely me having fun and probably getting carried away, I figured you'd want one of my first ones to play with.

For your birthday, I want to do something more. I mean, making you a meal isn't the biggest thing I could do, but, at least humor me and maybe some latkes.

[Lover, meet son. Since Leo raised him it tracks that he'd pick up on some of the same bad coping methods. ...At least it's not usually a habit with Casey, though.]

What're latkes?

[He doesn't mind saying yes to food. That's a smaller commitment than a present.]

[Teenager to teenager communication; Food. Peter isn't surprised Casey is taking the out, and readily settles into the different topic as Spider Bot plays with Casey's hair.]

Latkes are a traditionally Jewish food. They're like deep fried potato discs. My uncle loved making them around Hanukkah, but I feel like they're an anytime food.

Oh! They sound good... I'd love to try it, then!

[He's. Pretty sure he's heard of Hanukkah? Never experienced it though, obviously. Not his wheelhouse and no supplies for it.

He doesn't seem to mind the spider bot doing its thing. He does like having his hair played with, actually.]

I'll make a lot of latkes, so everyone can have some. Most of them are for you though. [Peter says easily back.]

When its actually closer to whenever Hanukkah lands on this places calendar, maybe I'll make some other stuff too. Though, I haven't celebrated since I was really young.

[He'll be looking forward to these mysterious potato snacks.]

I don't really know anything about Hanukkah... but it usually lands around winter holidays, right?

[He vaguely recalls any mention of it coming up around when people started talking about Christmas, anyway.]

Somewhere in there, yeah. Hanukkah always starts on the 25th day of Kislev, which is like the ninth month on the Hebrew calendar. Its- [He barely remembers anything about any of that. It wasn't like he had a bar mitzvah as a kid.] a lot. I didn't learn a lot about it to be honest. I'm a bad source of information.

I remember the food though, Ben liked me helping him cook. So, I can at least do that much.

Can I help? I'd like to learn.

[He's still learning to cook, so complex recipes are a little shaky for him, but this sounds like something fun to make.]

Sure! Lemme just do like, a test batch or two first. Just so I know what I'm doing first. It involves a lot of hot oil, which can be kinda scary to cook with at times.

Oh- yeah, I haven't done that much yet with oil. Bacon is great but it's a little nerve-wracking, the way it pops.

[He's had little droplet burns a few times already. Dangerous work, when food attacks you.]

I'll see if I can do an oven only version too. See if that would work better. [He loves a good science, and Casey is giving him that chance.] If it is, we can make it way faster with less popping.

I'll follow your lead, since I have no idea what I'm doing.

[He's in your hands and at your mercy, Parker. Be gentle.]

I'm going by memory, so, I think we're both in for fun time. [Peter muses with a snort and shake of his head.

Spider bot just beeps helpfully from its spot upon Casey's shoulder, still attempting to slowly play with the teenager's hair.]

Could there be a recipe somewhere? Like at the library, or...

[He trails off, losing steam in his claim. He's still new to libraries, so he doesn't know if cookbooks count as valid reading material.

He gives the spider bot an idle pat again, amused that it's so fascinated with his hair. Better that than tackling him at least?]

Maybe? [He hadn't thought to really look at the library since its such a niche feeling thing for a place flush with magic.] It's... a cultural food. Like, you'd make it at a certain time of year. I don't know how many books about Jewish food would be here.

It is worth a shot though at least.

Well, yeah. Asking's free.

[Worst case scenario, they'll just tell him no.]

...Think I've won over the robot yet?

[ lol ]

You say that, but I can promise I'll probably get lost in the library wanting to read everything. [Peter jokes idly back.

He does laugh a little at the question. His gaze lands on the spiderbot who is trying to wiggle under Casey's hair to look like it has hair.]

Oh, just maybe.

[Casey lifts a section of his hair, then drops it back down on the bot, teasing playfully.]

That's what keeps happening when I visit the library. I have to force myself to go home or I'd try to sleep there. I never knew so many books could even exist.

[Spider bot beeps in a tone that can be read as happy as it tries to hold the hair in place.]

If you think about it, there should almost be infinite book here, right? This is a hub world, so many people from so many different worlds and time periods end up here. So you never know what's actually there

[He might die for this goddamn robot now.]

I've kind of wondered where all the books come from. But if Thirteen can summon people from all over, no reason why she can't summon books too.

[Spider bot remains oblivious to Casey's dedication, just trying to wiggle deeper into his hair and beep boops a song it vaguely knows.]

It makes hub worlds exciting, because unlimited possibilities apply to what you can learn too.

[Bless you, spider bot.]

It really does... do you have any book recommendations? Stuff you liked from Earth, or anything else you've found.

I dunno if you can find these books but- [Unfortunate news, Casey Jones Jr, Peter is rattling off a list of very nerdy niche scifi novels. He has a lot of suggestions when it comes to that genre.]

[Casey nods along, fishing out his relic so he can take note of some of those titles. At the mention of them being sci-fi, he perks up.]

Oh, Hunter and I have been reading some of those! We're working through a series he found, we just hit book 2. They're really good.

[The spider bot on Casey's shoulder is reaching out to try and peek at the relic.]

Oh! That's cool, what is the book series like so far? I'm glad you guys are reading something really fun.

[Once Casey notices, he tilts his relic towards the bot. Sure, buddy, you can stalk his Notes app.]

It's pretty cool. It's about a group of explorers that go from planet to planet, discovering what's never been seen before, meeting new aliens, getting into trouble. The characters are fun.

[It's basically rebranded Star Trek, not that he knows what that is.]

[Spider bot is reading everything very intently, and by reading its just taking in words with no idea what anything means! It boops softly, eyes blinking red and blue.

That explanation sure sounds like Star Trek, but, Peter errs on not mentioning that.] Oh, I love that kind of story, it means so many cool things can happen and it doesn't really ever get dull.

Do you guys have any favorite characters so far?

I really like Captain Hezal. She's super heroic and charismatic, but she's always getting herself into trouble.

[Unsurprisingly, very sensei-esque.]

And I won't speak for Hunter, but I think he's rooting for the head engineer, Teve Walker. He's very mysterious. And yeah, the story's so interesting! Every planet is different, so it's unpredictable.

That's always a really fun kind of character to follow in a story. They make every new adventure really exciting. [Given Peter is dating someone like this, its equally unsurprising he's compelled by this kind of personality.] Hopefully the books dig deeper into Teve Walker's backstory soon. Depends honestly on how many books there are in the series.

Did you guys have a favorite planet they visited-?

I should probably check out that book series too, give me something else to do when I'm not working or patrolling.

Well... we're only on book 2, but I really liked Vinci. It's covered in coral flowers, and the life forms are sentient bioluminescents. The cover alone is gorgeous, really makes me wish I could paint better.

[It's inspiring some beautiful landscapes in his mind, mostly because he's never seen anything that could compare in real life.]

Oh, but anything else I could say would be spoilers. Since we finished the first book, I'll ask if Hunter minds if I can pass it over to you.

Oh wow, that does sound really pretty. [Peter perks up a little, his own imagination running wild with even the slight description Casey has given him.]

Yeah, only if you guys wanna lend it. I can probably find my own copies too, especially if its like a long running series.

It's not really ours to lend, it's from the library. As long as it goes back in time I don't think it matters who has it.

[Libraries are a new-ish concept for him, but this doesn't seem like a big deal. It's not like they don't know where Peter lives.]

I haven't checked how many books there are... I hope lots, though. It's really good.

Yeah, I'll definitely hit up a bookstore or see if the library has any other copies available. Better to not see what library fines are like here. Probably involves some curses or something.

If its like any other book series, its probably like Warrior Cats level of way too many books.

We haven't been cursed yet, but it's up to you. Offer's on the table.

[He shrugs. Not like he can force Peter to take it. Who knows, maybe they would be in a bookstore somewhere.]

What's Warrior Cats?

I'll keep it in mind.

[He has something else in mind to say before Casey asks that. Peter pauses debating with himself.

Oh boy, he got himself into this conversation.] Its like, a book series about these feral cats having different colonies and living their lives. Ned was like really into them back in middle school.

They're written super melodramatically, but in a fun way.

Huh... okay, I'll add that series to my list. We can at least check them out.

[If it's melodramatic that means the silly voices will be doubly effective when he reads them out loud and Hunter seems to love that, so. That's what makes it appealing to him.]

The series gets progressively weird and weirder for a book series about feral cats. So, you'll definitely have fun. [Peter muses with a nostalgic edge to his smile.]

I'll keep that in mind, hah.

[Warrior Cats is officially on his list of book series to look for. Once they get around to it, at least. Still lots of space adventures to be had. In the meantime, Casey tucks away his relic gives the spider-bot another pat.]

Maybe the thus-far unnamed spider-bot will like the live readings of silly novels too.

[Spider-Bot beeps, wiggling to try and grab a hold of Casey's hand. If it can it will hold onto one of his fingers with a set of tiny legs.]

Spider-Bot will probably start being dramatic if you read it warrior cats. [Peter jokes idly back, amused at the little bot deciding it loves Casey so immediately.] Hopefully you and Hunter find a name for it.

[His finger is held! Casey doesn't seem to mind. It is in fact a very cute little bot.]

I'm sure we will. I should get out of your hair, though, and get my homework done. Thank you for this, seriously. I appreciate your thinking of me.

Oh yeah, if you slack on the homework it'll pile up super fast. [He knows from experience.] No problem, Casey. I hope you and Hunter enjoy Spider-Bot, and you guys modify it as you see fit.

Thanks for coming over.

Hey, it was a net gain for me. [He grins. He almost said thanks for the millionth time, too.] I'll be sure to send you an update once we figure out what we're doing with the little guy.

[And off he goes!]

[It has been a long, harrowing night, but the promise of morning brings at least a hint of lightness back into Rue's tired expression. In the end, after all of the tears and the fear and the unrelenting uncertainty through the night, Rue can finally confidently say that Leo will be fine. The loss of his arm will be a hardship to navigate, but where they could have lost him completely, the owlbear must find peace in the fact that Leo is alive and steady and growing stronger by the minute.

They stay there at his side through the night, doting on him at every moment they get, only giving themself the chance for a break when a frazzled Peter finally arrives in the morning. Rue is only stepping out of Casey's bedroom when they've begun to make a list of everything they need to do and gather before they come straight back to Leo's side, when they spy Casey curled up on the couch, quietly sleeping there all on his own.

Well, that marks the very first thing off of their list.

It's another twenty minutes or so later that the owlbear is coming to settle at Casey's side, not quite brushing against him - they remember the way he turned away from their hug last night - but close enough that them sitting next to him would send the boy raising up into the air from their weight hitting that same cushion. There's a plate in their lap - Casey is getting a proper serving tray for his birthday, this just won't stand - with freshly sliced apples and some buttered toast. Maybe not the most extravagant of breakfasts, but it's about all Rue has in them after last night.]

Casey, dear, it's time to wake up.

[Casey is not even close to being well-rested, having at last passed out only a few hours ago and woken up twice since, but there's no way he'd be entering a deep sleep with everything that had happened the night before. It only takes a moment for him to stir, eyes fluttering as he struggles to open them. Eventually he's able to focus in on Rue.]

....Mm...?

[Wait. Rue was- Rue came here for-]

Leo? [He tries to sit up quickly, but his paralyzed arm is still giving him trouble, so he just sort of flops sideways at first. Not helpful.] Is- is Leo okay?

[Last night, he-]

[Rue's paw finds his shoulder, helping to steady Casey and to keep him from flopping right off of the couch.]

Leo is fine. [careful, direct, keeping it short. Rue does not need to ramble into an essay on the state of the teen while Casey is left hanging desperate for information.] He's resting. Peter's with him now.

[Casey slumps back at the reassurance, exhaling shakily, and gives that whole sitting-up thing another try, slower this time. He'd spoken with Peter briefly; thank goodness Leo has him there now. He deserves to see all his loved ones safe and sound.]

Good... that's good. Okay. [Inhale, exhale. Everything is okay. Or... as close to okay as it can get right now. He lifts his head, squinting towards the side window of the apartment living room, where bright light is filtering in through a break in the curtains.] ...It's morning...?

[He looks exhausted.]

It is. I've brought you breakfast. Even if you do not feel very hungry, you must get a little something into you.

[He is exhausted, but he's trying his best. He scrubs at an eye, and looks over at the plate. Last night kind of killed his appetite - Hunter had even brought over some snacks and he'd passed out before he could so much as touch a chip. Rue is right, though, he needs to eat.

He picks up an apple slice, nibbling slowly on one end.]

Thank you... um... are you okay...?

[Things had been kind of frenzied last night, and they'd arrived in a rush. He hadn't had the sense to check in until now.]

[Let it be known that Casey is the one who opened this door.]

I am alright. [Tired, naturally, from the long hours at Leo's side and all of the magic they've used up through the night, but exhaustion has an easy cure.

But then Rue's expression softens, watching Casey nibble on his breakfast, a paw very gently closing the distance to rest on the couch by his leg.]

Are you okay, Casey?

Edited 2023-11-22 17:47 (UTC)

[He's relieved to know they're okay. And the question isn't unexpected, but he still chews his way through another apple slice before he relents with an answer.]

I'm fine.

[At least, he is an acceptable level of not fine, which in the apocalypse is as close as one can get to 'fine'. He doesn't care for the fact that he's thinking that way again, but it's probably for the best, all things considered- the situation calls for a clear head, for proper action, not moping and weeping. And although the peace was nice, while it lasted, back home he'd never have been this shaken for this long. He... might need to rethink some things. He's gotten too comfortable.

The answer feels insufficient, though, so after a moment he adds reluctantly,]

I'm tired, and hungry. This is helping, so... thanks. [He said that already, but it bears repeating.]

I can only imagine.

[That 'fine' feels as if it's buried beneath layers and layers of emotion. Rue hopes he will not push them away when the paw near his leg raises to rest at his back instead, soothing and soft and warm.]

Donatello left so quickly and then you slipped away too before I could ask, but Casey, do you know what happened to Leo?

[Many layers, and no shortage of gloom. He doesn't pull away from their touch this time (there's no one to call or check up on, no Leo or compounded guilt to escape). He does go tense beneath their paw, though.

The question was inevitable... now he has to acknowledge it.]

He came to save me from the hunt. We were trying to escape, he was making a portal... I was too slow. [He lowers his good hand, grasping the elbow of the one the arrow had paralyzed, halfway hugging himself.] One of them took his arm as we fell through. Then I brought him here.

[It's so... clinical. A matter-of-fact mission report in a hushed, carefully restrained tone. Rue doesn't need to know how he'd frozen at the sight, how he'd remembered the forgotten horror of his childhood, how he'd failed to deflect the attack happening right before his eyes, how he hadn't run away, sensei told him to run away-

It's simple. A statement of fact. He needed help. Leo paid the price for his weakness, just like always.]

[They'd had a feeling, but there are times when nothing you could imagine could be as terrible as the real truth of it.

Casey goes tense under their touch and Rue has to pull away, misinterpreting the reaction to mean that their presence near him is not wanted, that he does not want Rue to wrap him up like they so desperately want to. Instead, their paws settle in their lap, talons curling together, needing the feel of warmth and pressure and comfort in touch, even if it's their own.]

I'm so very sorry, Casey, that you were involved in any of it. I can not imagine how that must have felt. [Rue would be inconsolable, too much of a mess to be of any help to anyone.] But even still, I hope you know how grateful I am that you got him here to us. That you knew to call for me. I think my magic was able to save our Leo from a great deal of painful recovery. Thank you for getting me here in time.

[He shrinks in a little as they withdraw, shoulders hunching. O-oh... he did that. When he'd pulled away before, he...

...he doesn't know how to fix this. He swallows hard, quiet for a long moment after receiving that thank you. It feels wrong to accept it, considering.]

I... I almost didn't. You're not- you're not supposed to do that kind of thing- call for backup when the danger's too great. You shelter in place, you work with what you have... you wait until it's clear, so the med evac team doesn't die, too. It's- it's not responsible. [There's rules, safety measures. The very basic of dos and donts for surviving the apocalypse, minimizing casualties. They had the supplies, they had it under control. Leo would have lived.

...Leo would have suffered more.] We're not supposed to, [he finishes weakly, noncommittal. Donnie had been so angry. And why shouldn't he be? Casey had refused. He'd caused this. He'd carried Leo here, he'd staunched the blood. He'd put Rue's life at risk by calling for help. And then Donnie and Rue had taken over and he'd done... what? Nothing.

He doesn't deserve to be thanked for doing the bare minimum.]

[Leo needed the help and attention, needed someone there sitting beside him through the night just in case his condition shifted, but even still, Rue can not help but feel a terrible twist of guilt in their belly at the thought Casey had been out here alone, with the weight of all of this perched on his skinny shoulders.

That's enough. They may be overstepping, Casey may be hurt and furious with them later, but he is their son and Rue will not sit here and watch him punish himself like this. Sorry, Casey, but without warning the owlbear is rising to their feet and scooping the teen up to steal him away to the apartment balcony, nudging the door closed behind them. He may protest, but what he needs is the fresh air to clear his head and the warmth of the sun on his skin. The apartment still smells so heavily of Leo's blood, just stepping outside, Rue can already feel themself growing calmer after a whole night trapped in such misery.

But either way, they are not releasing that boy from their arms.]

Breathe with me. Follow the rise and fall of my chest.

[Casey makes a soft noise of protest as he is lifted and carried out, not exactly wrestling to escape but pushing himself upright with one hand rather than nestling properly against them like he normally would. He doesn't need them to fuss or worry about him, he's fine! He's barely hurt at all. They should be focusing on Leo. He's fine. He's.

His breath catches when the fresh, late-autumn air hits him, and he inhales it slowly through the nose. He hadn't realized how sharp the scent of blood had been in the apartment all this time, even with all the attempted cleaning he'd done over the course of the night. Outside it is bright and crisp and fresh, a beautiful day, a deceptive contrast against the horrors of last night. He doesn't resist their grasp, but he has a hard time following their breathing, his own quick and hitching, like he's trying to gulp in as much fresh air as he can in quick succession before they have to go back inside.]

I'm not- I'm not panicking- [he says in a rush.] Please- Rue, I'm okay-

[He's fine. He's fine! They should worry about Leo, or Donnie, or Raph, or literally anyone else. He's the one who screwed up, and now they know that, but they don't know the other time he screwed up, and... and. He's fine.

He's not not fine.

He shudders, slumping forward, and just kind of pants into their feathers for a minute. He's too tired to fight them on this, but it really doesn't feel earned.]

[They know immediately.

And maybe it's unfair of Rue to drag Casey outside into the fresh air against his will, to force him out beneath the sunshine after isolating all night on the couch, but Rue is certainly beginning to learn that being a parent is doing whatever is best for your child, even if they hate you for it.]

Please, Casey.

[Every protest is like arrows through their heart. He just sounds so defeated.

Casey slumps into them, panting and exhausted against their feathers, and Rue's paw reaches up to gently cradle the back of his head.]

You do not have to open up to me if you are not ready. But you can not keep it in either. We all were witness to how frightening things became with Leo. Cry, scream it out - whatever you must do, just please, darling, do not keep it inside.

[Casey falls silent at their plea, trembling, and lies otherwise limp in their arms. He listens to them speak, still breathing too hard, though he at least starts to make an effort towards getting himself under control again. It's true that it was... scary, yeah, but... he's been through worse. He's survived worse. He was caught off guard at the time, but it's over now. They're okay. He's okay. He's tired, that's all. He slept like garbage on the couch. He should have slept on the floor. Nevermind that it was covered in blood-

His breath hitches, and he gasps, like he'd been drowning, coming up for air.]

I screwed up- I screwed up, I didn't- I didn't mean to push you away, I'm sorry-

[It is perhaps not the thing he ought to be talking about, but he's not sure if he's ready for that yet. He's not sure if he can let himself cry, and Leo is sleeping (much, much needed) so screaming is off the table. But this, with Rue's wings around him, like they'd wanted to do last night and he refused. This. He can't stop this stream of anxious thoughts from bubbling up. He did it before. He's doing it now. He doesn't mean to.]

[It may not be the root of all of this, but it is something besides Casey's repeated murmurs that everything was just fine. This is real and Rue can work with that.

They give him a moment to sniffle and gasp for air and work the words he needs to past his tongue, before Rue finally cuts in. Their tone is firmer than normal, commanding attention, but it never reaches above a gentle whisper between the two of them. No one inside will hear a word.]

Casey, you are my son and I need you to know that nothing can ever change that. I do not care if you push me away or if we fight or if one of us says something in the heat of the moment that we deeply regret. You will still be my son.

[They did not adopt him purely because he was a well-behaved child they could coddle and adore. They asked to be his mother because they love him and want to be there with him at every stage in his life.]

I will never stifle your voice or your worries. Or your apologies. But I need you to know that no matter what happens between the two of us, it will always be fixable. You can not push me away. [Their wings squeeze around him, head tipping down to nuzzle at his cheek.] I will always just get extra hugs later to make up for it.

[With a tone like that, there is no refuting it. Casey sniffs, falling into silence again as he allows those words to sink in. That fierce parental tone is... new. With sensei it usually felt like an order (he was a commander of a makeshift army, it made sense) but the sound of Rue's voice is a little familiar nonetheless. A demand for attention, not obedience. It's different. He can push back, but not deny their words.

Silently he hunches his shoulders, his hands pressed to their feathers, and finally, finally, he takes a breath at pace with the rise and fall of Rue's chest, through his nose. One, then two, then three. His heart is still racing uncomfortably, but the smell in the air is... fresh. Clean. There's no blood here. Not on the balcony or on his clothes or on Rue. They're holding him. They're holding him. He didn't... he didn't.

It's fixable.
It's fixable.
It's fixable.

He closes his eyes, shaking like a leaf in the frozen winds of winter, and buries his face against them, nodding wordlessly. He hears them. He understands. He doesn't know what to say, but... he hears them.]

[It's always fixable.

Casey feels smaller than ever in their arms like this, trembling and clinging on like he may slip between their fingers, but Rue just engulfs him fully within their wings, letting the boy bury into their feathers as much as he needs.]

You and I? We are just fine, my darling boy. Please push such fears from your mind. I forgive you and I love you. And I promise that I am not going anywhere. Take all of the time you need. You do not need to say a word.

[And Rue will keep him warm here on the balcony, carrying him as long as Casey needs, content to watch the rising sun as their own son catches his breath in their arms.]

Edited 2023-11-28 04:09 (UTC)

[They're fine... he's forgiven, he's loved. They'll stay. The words are a lifeline that he holds in his heart, dangling off some terrible precipice with an unhealthy familiarity waiting at the bottom. He doesn't want to lose what he's gained, here. What he's been longing to have for so long. Peace. Happiness. A family again, hale and whole. They're a little broken now, but... but.

They're here. They're safe.

Eventually, when his body is warmed, pinned between Rue and the subtle heat of the autumn sun, he turns his head to the side to finally speak, his voice quiet, tired, and unsure, but not frantic.]

I don't... I-I don't want to go back to... fighting a war. I don't want to be that person again.

[It's such a wretched way of thinking. The fear, the paranoia, the anger. The ache of constant loss. Thinking about casualties and minimizing risk. Never leaving shelter without full gear and a sense of caution bordering on terror. Watching the ground for traps, the sky for a bomb to drop. His heart pounding like a hammer-

He doesn't want it. Living like that again.]

[Pressed against them as he is, Casey might feel the way Rue's heartbeat rises at his gentle, tired plea. They wish more than anything they could promise him a life void of all conflict, but that just isn't a possibility in any realm. There will always be something, whether it is protecting their family here from the wild unseelie or fighting off the apocalypse back in Massachusetts or defending the people of New York once again from any new danger.

But facing conflict does not need to mean that he becomes a soldier once again. Casey deserves to just be a young careful teen for the first time in his life.]

I wish that I could promise peace and safety for the rest of your life, darling. But if I can not promise that, I can vow that you will never need to go back to living a life of only survival. Not here, not with me. This - This right here will pass and we will be back to the routine that you and I have made. Cuddling on the couch watching nature documentaries and painting your nails every color under the sun and sending passive aggressive texts to each other when Leo or Peter make our eyes roll.

[Silly? Maybe. But after these last few weeks, don't they deserve a little silliness?]

I am still hopeful that this will be over soon, that we just need to make it there. I am not ready to give up. Are you?

[Those words strike a chord. A promise like that wouldn't be believed; he's young but not so naive. He'd been waiting for the shoe to drop. Peace is temporary, even in a world like the past Earth he'd been sent to. This world, with all its magic rules and looming trials and hidden monsters, is not made to be a peaceful paradise. They're here to grow, find their 'best selves'. His best self is surely not a groomed and healthy youth with painted nails and eternal smiles. One grows through tribulation. He knows this. He knows it.

But Rue is... hopeful. He thinks of sensei, and his heart aches. He thinks of Leo and it aches harder.]

A ninja's greatest weapon, [he whispers, in a watery voice. He's going to cry. He knew he would. He's going to cry and the war's back on again, but Rue is... hopeful.

He sniffs.] I won't give up. I'll wear the mask again for a while, and... when it's over... I can... I can go back.

[Put it aside, until next time. Until next time. Until next time. There'll always be one. But if it's not... constant... he can endure that, can't he? He's endured so much worse. It'll pass. That's not... so bad.]

[Rue will not patronize him, won't lie just to soothe Casey's rising fear. His terror is all too valid considering his past experiences, the life that he fought to survive in all those years before he ever met Rue.

But they are hopeful and that is the truth.

As distressing as this moment is, it still pales in comparison to Rue's time in ADI, the difference between the two realms like night to day. For all of the hurt of these last few weeks, even that does not stand up to the bright radiance of the months prior. The fae will move on as autumn shifts to winter and everything will go back to how it had been. They just need to keep hope in their hearts.

Casey is so tiny in their wings, it's easy enough to untangle themself from him and move to sit the boy on the balcony railing, facing the rising the sun, the owlbear themself right behind him, his body still tucked safely into their wings. Their feathery head rests atop of his, looking out into the quiet of morning of this world Rue has come to treasure, sitting with a boy who has stolen their heart.]

One day you will be able to put it away completely. But for now, I feel that this world is worth protecting, don't you think?

[He allows himself to be moved to the railing - between his arm and their size difference he's very much at their mercy, but thankfully he does trust them well - and slumps back against them, gazing wearily at the sunrise. It's still early enough that the sun is low in the sky, soft shades of red, orange, and pink mingling with the blue sky to form a beautiful gradient in the center, streaks of colour breaking through the soft clouds. It's so different from home, where the sun could never be seen through the decimated atmosphere, where the sky was forever lit with the fire-red of terraforming and distant explosions. He's been here for months and woken up early most mornings, but he's spent too little time appreciating the beauty of what he'd never seen before. Just a simple sunrise, perfectly normal here.

A part of him wants to reach out, but he's old enough to recognize the futility of it, and settles for resting his good hand on one of the wings holding him, keeping him from falling.]

It is, [he whispers. His tears fall steady but silent, no broken weeping.] It hurts to lose peace more because I never had it. I want it back... I'll keep fighting.

[For peace, for their family, maybe even a little for himself. He's shaken, but this won't break him.]

[It is more than any child his age should have to deal with ever, but even then, Rue knows Casey's strength and determination are unfaltering. Now that he knows exactly what the future he could have why, it makes returning to the fight more bittersweet, but the reward of the after so much greater.

And as long as they are together, Rue will be there to offer their strength to continue, anytime that he needs it. No matter what, he will always find safety in their wings.]

I hope you know how proud I am of you. It takes great courage to open up like that. But you spoke honestly with me and I am so very thankful that you did.

You've grown so much, even in the few short months I've known you.

[Those words choke at his throat, and he swallows hard, blinking rapidly. As kind and encouraging as ever. Even when he feels like absolute trash and utterly weak, they have nothing but good things to say about him. He'll do his best to remember all of this, so that maybe later or tomorrow, when the wounds aren't so fresh, he might start to believe them.]

...Thank you...

[He slumps further against them, already exhausted from a long, restless night, such a brief nap, and a burst of weary tears. He's fading fast, but he has to murmur,]

Thank you.

[For listening, for being with him, for holding him and promising a better future, even if it's not a perfect one. He's never asked for a perfect future, he's only ever wanted to live and be with his family. He's lost one, gained another. Life goes on.

And... for forgiving him, after he pushed them away in his fear. For loving him anyway. He's so lucky. The world is terrible right now but he's lucky.]

[The owlbear's only response to Casey's sleepy thanks is to hum in return, a soft noise that slowly morphs into a gentle lullaby.

It's the same tune that they remember from their childhood, before they were ever taken by the fae, the musical rumbles and chirps of their parent, the only piece of their former life that's remained intact in their memory all of these millennia later. So Rue hums while Casey slumps against them, perfectly safe in their arms, holding the boy until his head tips back into their feathers and his breathing softens with sleep.

Only when Casey is asleep does Rue scoop him up from the balcony railing completely and return inside. His room is still occupied, but it only takes them a moment to gather an extra pillow and a few comfortable blankets before they are loosely burritoing Casey on the couch, tucking him in and pecking a kiss to his forehead. And Rue will just plant themself on the floor next to Casey, keeping close in case he suddenly wakes and needs them.

They've already survived through the darkest night of their lives here in Folkmore so far, so the arrival of the morning sun brings back a touch of hope within Rue that they will all be fine.]

[The first day Leo only sleeps. The second day, he talks to Rue and Raph a bit. The third day is Casey's turn to watch. And it's... quiet. It isn't bad. But gradually eventually, consciousness comes in a slow easy wave coming to shore. His eyes crawl open but Leo doesn't make a sound just yet.

Instead, he looks over to see who's with him.]

[He'd been kind of a coward, the first two days. He knows that. Unable or unwilling to face Leo after what happened, afraid of the conversation that might occur, afraid of his own memories, now that one so grim had come to light. What else has he forgotten that is in fact terribly important? What else will looking at Leo and the damage he'd caused through his own failure in battle bring to light? What if Leo remembers it was his fault and hates him for this?

(Sensei never seemed to hate him, despite causing- so much more damage. But he doesn't remember the days that followed, either.)

It's not about me echoes in his head far too often, much as he tries to stamp it down. It's not a healthy mantra, but in many ways it's part of being Hamato, too. So. The third day he commits to contributing properly again, shoves his guilt to the wayside, and takes a shift to watch over Leo. It isn't about him, it's about Leo and helping his recovery.

Casey's actually on the floor beside the bed, leaning against the frame, so Leo gets a front-row view of the back of his hair. He has some fabric bundled up in his lap- he'd been mending a tear in his old cloak, but his hands are still so he's evidently dozed off or is drifting.]

[He sees the back of the head. He doesn't quite register or understand it yet. Why is a ball of hair sitting beside me?

He gets it though once he leans his head to look and sees Casey. His eyes widen with worry for a split second before remembering Rue said he's okay. He doesn't know how many days it's been now, but Casey helped him. He remembers that. Casey got him inside and safe and called his family.

Their family.

Leo still doesn't say anything, instead reaching to rest his hand on Casey's head. Reassuring himself for now, but. Also maybe Casey too.]

[Casey startles a little beneath his hand, his head lifting at the feel of it. The hand is smaller, but he's felt it many times before. No mistaking that three-fingered ruffle.

He doesn't turn yet, not wanting to dislodge the touch, but he can't pretend he's not aware of it now, so. His hands twist together in his lap, voice quiet.]

Leo...?

[It works because as soon as Casey stirs, Leo immediately lifts his hand up and away, hovering instead. Should he have done that? He couldn't reach anywhere else to reassure himself Casey was here and okay, maybe that was weird and he should've just lay here instead.

Wait he has a voice. What the fuck is he doing.]

Casey? [Oh god why does he sound so out of it, like a baby bird turtle learning to chirp for the first ti-oh water, right he needs that. He tries to refocus, keep his eyes on Casey.] Hey...

[When Leo lifts his hand, Casey turns his head to look, peering over the edge of the bed. He still looks kind of terrible, but the improvements of the last several days are more noteworthy now. He's getting better. He doesn't look like he's... dying.

He musters a small smile.]

Thirsty? I've got some water.

[He sets aside his cloak and sits up enough to offer up a bottle. He'll help Leo drink if he needs.]

[It's better seeing him. It's so, so much better to see Casey and hear him and know he's fine.

He shifts a little to sit up more. Reaches his hand up.]

C'mere first.

[Casey blinks, unsure of what Leo means, but obliges and lifts himself up enough to lean closer, his hand out to help Leo move if he needs support.]

[As soon as Casey's within reach, Leo's arm moves to wrap around and pull him in close.

A hug. Nothing but relief and and surety that Casey is really safe is in his arm as he hugs Casey close. His voice is muffled but who cares.] I'm so glad you're safe.

[Casey goes still and stiff against him for a moment, just the span of Leo saying those words. Then, like a restraint has been cut off of him, he exhales a held breath, shudders, and lifts his arms to hug Leo back, as tight as he dares while still trying to be careful.]

I-I am, too... I was so worried about you...

[Feeling Casey hug him back, Leo's even more sure this is real and Casey is safe. Unharmed, thank goodness. His grip isn't that strong but it doesn't stop him from keeping Casey tucked against him.]

Rue told me you were safe, but I-i needed to see myself.

[Casey feels another wave of guilt, and he buries his face against Leo's shoulder, eyes clenching tightly. He should've come sooner.]

I... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I was- I couldn't face you. I was scared you wouldn't want to see me, after what happened...

Case- no, it's. I was worried and wanted to see you were safe.

None of that was your fault. [He doesn't let up from the hug - partly for himself, and partly because Casey seems like he needs it too.]

[Casey doesn't want to let go, either. He holds fast and shudders, fingers curling against Leo's shell, drawing strength from the feel of it. Even out and wounded and hurting, feeling the loss of his arm, he's still so strong. Still helping people.]

I called you there, though... I didn't get to you in time. If you hadn't come for me this wouldn't have happened to you.

[How can it not be his fault?]

And I could've said no, I could've chosen not to help.

You got me inside, you got me upstairs, and you called for help. That's huge. You- saved my life, Casey.

[He swallows hard.]

You saved my life. I-I could never just- leave you.

...Then let's call it even and focus on now. You're safe, I'm safe. Our family's safe.

...Yeah. Yeah, okay.

[He could fight over this - it's still a struggle to believe, he still blames himself plenty - but Leo deserves more than a fight just as he's waking up. What he says is true. They're safe. Everyone is safe. That's always the most important part.

Reluctantly he draws back, just enough to retrieve the water bottle and offer it up again.]

You sound terrible...

[Casey pulls back, so Leo leans back into the pillows to watch him. And to take the water bottle carefully, ignore his hand shaking.]

I, uh. I'm not gonna argue that. I do sound terrible.

[Casey's watching him closely, so it's hard to miss the trembling. He reaches out again to help steady the bottle and let him drink. Between the bloodloss and the shock, he isn't surprised that Leo's going to have a tough time doing things solo for a while.]

Can I get you anything else? Something to eat? More blankets? An unseelie doll and some nails?

[He really hates it. He doesn't want to be looked after like a broken bird or something, he just ... wants to be himself again. Just missing a little extra real estate. But after a couple sips he leans his head back to breathe.]

No, uh. This- plenty. ...Thanks.

[Casey's doing his best not to hover too much- it hadn't been great during the whole... intervention thing... and he suspects it isn't doing Leo any favours here, either. But they are supposed to be keeping watch... and he's supposed to be resting...

He chews idly at his lip for a handful of seconds, debating, before jerking a thumb towards the door.]

You want to get out of here? It must be getting stuffy in this room every day. The couch at least has the TV, and the window's way bigger. Balcony door, too. Some fresh air would do you some good.

[Leo closed his eyes, content to almost drift off again.

But they snap open at the question. He looks at Casey, then at the door.]

I absolutely say yes. Just gotta be back in bed before Donnie comes back or he'll try to kill us.

I think we can manage that.

[He can just carry Leo back in before dawn, it's fine. And Donnie surely has his trackers anyway, he'll know Leo hasn't left the apartment.

Casey shuffles closer, half on the bed to tug Leo onto his back so he can carry him out to the living room.]

Might not want to tell Rue either, just in case.

Oof. Yeah, I love them, but they're kinda... Weak to us.

[He makes it easier for Casey as much as he can climbing on to his back. And... Look it'll probably be good to change sheets too. A lot of good this little break from the bed will do for everyone involved.]

Just a little late night secret for ourselves.

Wouldn't be the first time.

[And hopefully not the last, either. He carries Leo through the bedroom and into the hall beyond, keeping his footsteps as light as possible in case Raph or Rue are lurking around the corner or Hunter's up for a late night (early morning?) snack, but it seems that for the moment they've been left to their own devices. He also tries not to think about how light Leo is. Some of that's the missing limb, he knows, but... most of it is not.

Regardless, it only takes a minute or so for him to gently deposit him onto the couch, on the far side, closest to the big living room window.]

There! Any better?

[He focuses on just keeping himself anchored to Casey's back while they walk. Had he known Casey was this strong? Not that Leo's anywhere near comparable to Raph's size, but he knows he isn't that light either. Stands to reason. Grew up around them, grew up under A Leo, he'd have to be strong.

The couch is at least soft and the light from the window is good.]

...Yeah... Yeah, lots. Um. Thanks, Casey.

[Casey sits down next to him, a heartbeat away from leaning against him before realizing it's the severed side. He may have gotten healing from Rue but mmmmaybe not just yet. Instead he shrugs, hands folding together in his lap.]

It's fine. You get restless, right? It's good if you can keep moving. Few more days and I bet you won't need us all circling around you like this.

[He keeps his eyes glued to the window, seeing the skyline and the clouds.]

...I'm gonna be real with you, CJ, I don't... know. This is, um. It's new territory? So I don't know what I'll need.

[Casey is quiet for a little bit, internally debating how he'd like to respond to that one. Sympathy, duh. But he has a unique perspective on this particular problem.]

...I, um. I can send Donnie some future stuff that might... help you. With recovery, and...

[The prosthetic? Donnie's definitely making him a prosthetic.]

[When Casey doesn't immediately respond, Leo focuses out the window. Just... taking it in. It's so different in the day time after all that the last few nights.]

Future stuff? Like... What? You're saying you have a bunch of Future Donnie's schematics and plans saved in some hidden harddrive in your mask or something?

[Casey's eyes widen, staring at him like a deer in headlights.]

Um. [sensei that was remarkably accurate.] Yes?

[Leo's not even looking at him to see what he's done.]

Oh. Then... Don might want that, yeah.

[Not sure if he should be relieved or worried.]

I could send it to you too, but it'd be a lot of reading.

[So he figures Leo won't want it.]

[It's not you, Casey, he's just... tired and seeing something new for the first time in days.]

Yeah, Donnie would make more sense of it than I could.

[Read: I would never understand any of that science stuff.]

[He's getting that vibe. And it doesn't seem like he has to explain himself further, so he'll gratefully leave it be. Leo doesn't need more drama in his life right now. No need to offer up why he'd have that information unprompted.]

Okay... I'll send it over, after he gets back.

[He tries not to sound as wary as he feels about it. He and Donnie haven't... really talked. He's not sure how to approach him right now. It's better to let him focus on Leo and the... fae. That he's still hunting, probably.]

[Probably definitely still hunting. Donnie's going to be single minded focused on that one task until he finishes, Leo guesses. Leo doesn't know exactly what his brother's doing, but he can feel the anger and murderous rage sometimes when he's coherent enough to notice before Donnie shoves it out of their link.

He finally leans his head back, heavy and not at all casual or easy like normal. This is... still exhausted Leo.]

He'll appreciate it. Might not show it up front at first, but... give him some time to look at it and he'll be happy about it.

Sure...

[ (x) doubt. But Leo had been out of it that moment Donnie had sounded so... angry. And Casey can't blame him, but it also means he'd very much like to stay out of the other's way. Handing over more of future-him's files feels less of a thank you moment and more "okay cool I hate you less now".

But all that is his problem, not Leo's. And Leo looks exhausted.]

Sorry... I don't mean to talk your ear off. I'm just- really happy to see you. Up. [His fault too, for avoiding the room. Still.] You should rest.

[Leo leans his head to look at Casey again, a little longer this time. Kid looks worried and he doesn't know how to alleviate that.]

...Honestly feels good to be up. But if I go back to that bed right now I might go insane, so I'll rest out here until we're at risk of being yelled at.

[He's an anxiety machine, Leo, just let him ride it out.]

Yeah, I wasn't gonna say I should carry you back. We just got here. I've been sleeping here the last few nights, and it's actually not bad! Here-

[He starts rearranging the blankets, bundling Leo up the way he was in the bedroom. Gotta stay warm, conserve that energy. Have an extra pillow while he's at it.]

Wha- Huh?

[Turtle pile without the other turtles! It's happening. He's caught off guard and too tired to really react even once he's bundled up with only his face visible from the pile.]

Um. I-i guess? I guess this is happening?

Uh-huh.

[It is happening. It has happened. Congrats on your successful bundling, Leo. Casey leans back, like it's a job well done.]

Yeah, that looks about right. [Nice and toasty.]

[And impossible to move in. Now he can't feel any limbs! Job well done.]

...Right for what?

[It's easier when there's one less of them!]

For when you pass out in the next five minutes. So you'll stay warm.

Why would I pass out in the next five minutes...

[1.....

2.....]

[Casey tilts his head, watching thoughtfully, recognizing the signs. Makes a quiet humming sound. Yes?]

Casey?

[3.....]

Kinda freakin me out here.

[Hm. Too early then, okay. This Leo has more youthful energy than sensei.]

I mean, it's just a guess. You're welcome to prove me wrong.

[2....]

I dunno how I'd prove you wro- [Oh biiiiig yawn. Okay it is kinda warm and cozy.] Wrong here. But if I knew how I would.

[1... Oh he's out.]

[Yep, mission accomplished. Casey's just gonna take care of some bed clean-up, sheet changing, and then sit quietly with Leo until it's time to move him again. Donnie will find him back in bed, safe and sound, before dawn.

...He feels lighter, somehow. That's weird.]

[Lighter is good. Even though Casey's things are. Definitely being drooled on. Did he mind? Did he want for that? Too bad, it's happening. He lives in the cocoon now.]

[Drool is better than blood, he'll gladly accept this development. Though maybe he won't tell Hunter what's been done to their couch blankets until he does the laundry.]

[Eventually. It's still quiet and no one's come back, but eventually Leo is laying there with eyes still closed but awake.]

...Hey.... Case. Future me. What... ever happened to that Miyamoto guy?

[Casey's gone back to fussing over the cloak as he returns to his vigil; his hands go still against the fabric when Leo asks. He's quiet at first, making no sound beyond a hesitant, exhaled breath. He hadn't known Leo was awake again.]

Are... you sure you want to know?

[Everybody dies, he'd said. There were no exceptions.]

[Casey had only talked about Miyamoto in the past tense. Ergo, he definitely died. But... he's tired and out of it, and thinking about Peter has him thinking about this.]

He died, right? But.. what happened?

Edited (MY P KEY...) 2023-11-26 07:54 (UTC)

[Another pause, but... only to give himself the strength to say it. He respects Leo and his right to know the truth, so lying and sugarcoating it wouldn't feel right. Still, it's... it's hard. In many ways Miyamoto had become family, too.]

They had a plan, to... take down Krang Prime. They went in together, but got separated. It was a trap. [He tugs idly on a loose string, needing to keep his hands busy.] When sensei found him, he'd- he was already infected. We never knew people could come back... all we could ever do was- was free them.

['Free them'. As bone tired as he is, as drained and out of it as he feels, Leo gets it. Raph may have been a special case of fighting back from the moment it started for all they knew. But that sounds... really final.

I- stop it, stop whatever this is-

Watching Peter get shot in the throat, be controlled by the Unseelie-]

...That, uh. Sorry to hear.

Future me probably... didn't take it well. Did he?

...N... not really. He forced himself a lot... tried to act like he was okay. Uh- Donnie and Master Michelangelo noticed. They talked sometimes, when they thought I wasn't listening. I was still kind of young, but even I knew he was... different. For a while.

[Sounds familiar.]

[It does. It's so familiar, actually. He hates it.

Leo falls silent again, resting his eyes and his thoughts. Trying to think more clearly than he has the last few days. Casey might even think he'd fallen back asleep.]

...I think Peter died.

[Casey's eyes widen at that, staring over in stunned silence for a moment.]

Wh... what? But he's... he's here. He's fine.

[How could he have died if he was just here?]

It's-

Before, before I got to you. He called me for help. And I [Why is it hard to breathe?] watched-

[Breathe.] Watched the. The, um. Fae. Guy. Attack Peter, and then take him. I was... looking everywhere while I was helping you guys. I never found him.

But.. he told me he woke up in our room the next morning. [No injuries. No real strong memory of what happened that he could (or would) tell Leo.]

[Casey stares down at his lap for a long moment, shaken, trying to let those words sink in. After so many nights trying to survive their attempts, it'd become evident that the hunt didn't... really do anything like a catch and release. Their goal is to wound and kill. If Peter was taken...]

...I... tried to reach him, so many times. After you got hurt. I tried all night. I worried that something happened to him, and there was nothing any of us could do...

[All that time, he could've been dead? And he didn't say anything?]

[That just lends more proof to the theory. Peter died that night. He was killed by the Hunt. What's visible of Leo's face scrunches unattractively as he tries not to start crying. He can't, not right now.]

Then- th-then it definitely happened.

[....

Yeah, to hell with being careful or leaving space. Not with... this. Casey shifts closer, tugging the Leo-burrito against himself and winding both arms around him, lightly bumping his head against Leo's.]

He's probably hiding it... he doesn't want to distract from all this.

[An educated guess based on... well, him kind of doing the exact same thing. Their situations aren't comparable, but it is a matter of priority. Injury always trumps trauma.]

[It isn't like he can say no or get away from the hug. Instead, he leans into it, wishing he could hug back.]

Probably. Probably thinking he's not as important, but- H-he... [Leo had swore to him, promised Peter that he wouldn't let anything happen to Peter.]

He probably won't tell me either.

...Maybe... maybe he'll be able to talk about it later? It hasn't been that long. Anyone would have trouble talking about it so soon after.

[Even as he says it, it feels like wishful thinking, and there isn't much conviction in his tone. He could, maybe. But will he...? It seems unlikely.]

I don't know.

[If he could go into his shell, he would. But everything is still sore, and he's wrapped up and Casey is holding him and-

Slow down, Brain. Breathe.]

...I'm glad you guys are all okay. I... I don't wanna force him to tell me.

[It... is admittedly better if it can be shared in its own time. He feels a lot better about the conversation they'd had mid-spar than the... intervention. The problem is when it becomes so overwhelming that it's obvious that person is suffering alone. He doesn't want that for Peter, either.]

Do... you think it's that he's hiding it, or that he doesn't remember...?

[The mid-spar conversation did feel better. Felt less pressure, less like he'd done something wrong and more like just. A conversation between family. So he'll do the same for Peter. Wait until he's ready and comfortable to say so.]

I don't know. ...It's- hard to say. Give him some time first.

[Casey makes a thoughtful noise, nodding slowly. They can keep it in mind and leave the door open in case Peter wants to reach out. And... hopefully he will. ...Unless he actually doesn't know.]

I was, um. I was stolen by the fae.

You what.

D-don't look at me like that!

Oh I'm looking at you in this tone of voice. You were taken by the fae? When?

[Uuuugh he really should have kept his dumb mouth shut. He was trying to be helpful.]

Early on, during the day- when the parade was around Gram. One of them tricked me, and pulled me out of my body, sent me to their realm. Then they just... took over what was left. Rue called it a changeling.

...And Rue got you back, right?

You're you, that I'm talking to? Right now?

[Casey sighs. Okay, yeah, he should have expected, but-]

Hunter asked that, too... you know Rue would've thrown me out the window by now if it wasn't me.

[He definitely would not be on solo Leo watch duty.]

[In his defense he's still recovering. He has an excuse!!]

No, you're- Right. Yeah. They would have.

[Everyone has valid excuses, it's true. Been a rough go. It's just sort of a bummer to get questioned right after sharing it.]

A-anyway. I said that because I don't... remember it all that well. Not much of the fae realm, and definitely not what happened with my body. It's like it was a weird dream.

[He's still leaning against Casey in this embrace, starting to relax again.]

So he may not remember either... Ugh. Hate that.

[He can feel that; it's good. He should be able to relax and rest, he deserves it. He's worried about everyone else so much already.]

...Sometimes it's a blessing to forget. It'd be better if he wasn't suffering, just... confused.

...Really hope that's the case and I'm wrong.

I... hope so, too. If we ask and he says he doesn't remember, and we're giving him time to think about it, then... we have to trust him on that.

[And he might not be lying. It might just be gone, and... waiting for something to make him remember. He'll need their support if that happens, too.]

Yeah. So... [He doesn't know where he was going with that. Exhaustion pulls at him again leaning more of his weight against Casey.

God. Whatever powers out there, let him be wrong for once.]

So let's trust him.

[Casey supports his weight with the same level of ease as he'd carried him with, tucking the burrito turtle against his shoulder.]

We can do that. [It's easier said than done, but they can.]

...We can do that. [It's easier said than done, but they can.

Even as he starts to drift again now comfortable against Casey in his turtlerrito form.]

...Thanks, Case.

Mm... [Casey's voice is so quiet, recognizing the signs of Leo's exhaustion taking over again, attempting to wind him down.] Any time, Leo. We're with you.

[Now go the fuck to sleep.]

[This is definitely a late night text, don't worry about it.]

Okay, so, I have a question for you. Its kind of weird maybe? idk.

I can't sleep, and realized I could ask you this.

[It takes a minute - unlike Leo Casey is not constantly glued to his relic - but what are normal sleep schedules, anyway. Especially this month. Especially after what happened with Leo.]

What is it?

[He's having instant regret, but he's committed.]

Did Rue ask you about adoption? I was... curious.

Oh.

[One of those talks at early o'clock, huh.]

They did, yeah. I said yes.

[Should he mention Rue brought up that they'd also asked Leo and Peter? Maybe not... best to let him decide. It's not like it was an agreed upon secret, but he'd been told in confidence, so...]

[Peter isn't sure what he feels about that. Is he jealous? Maybe. Sad? Yeah, okay, that's there too. Its a tangled mess of feelings clashing against one another.

It just confirms he really shouldn't do it. He shouldn't crowd Rue and everyone else. He's frustrated with himself because he can't just say yes.]

Oh cool. I'm glad you said yes.

I know it probably makes Rue really happy :)

It did. But more importantly it made us both happy, because it's what we both wanted.

Are you worried about saying no?

[He's guessing, and Peter can dodge or deflect if he likes, but it's been a while now. Based on how openly and happily they'd brought up Donnie saying yes, and how worried they'd been with the radio silence on Leo and Peter's ends, it's a given that the answer hasn't changed yet. And maybe it won't ever.]

[Wow, he hates this. Thanks, Casey!]

I don't know what I'm going to say. I don't really know what I want.

[you opened the door, don't get mad he walked in!!]

That's okay. It's complicated, right? I gave myself a long time to think about it, too. Rue knows there's no wrong answer. Just whatever answer's right for each of us.

[The door was ajar Owlbear Jr, don't you push your way in, get back here!]

Yeah, its... definitely complicated. I just want to be sure of my answer before I say anything.

[Asking Mister Open-With-Feelings to keep his mouth shut, you absolute Spider-Fool.]

That's better than answering too fast and taking it back later. Rue said there's no time limit, right? They'll wait until you're ready. And whatever answer you give is okay.

[He knows Rue. Whatever conditions (or lack thereof) they'd laid out for his adoption would of course be in play for the others as well.]

Yeah, I don't wanna hurt Rue or anything. I love them, I just feel like

Yeah, I'll figure it out.

[He aborted that sentiment half way through, just ignore that. No need to worry Casey.]

[buddy. buddy no. he worry.]

Can I be blunt with you?

[One fear? This conversation.]

Oh, sure.

There's stuff you need to say, and you're holding back from saying it. I get that it's an awkward subject. It's okay if you don't want to talk about it with me.

Just make sure you're holding back for the right reasons, or you're going the same path Leo did. Talk to SOMEONE.

[Thanks, he hates this. He didn't ask to be called out like this.]

Right.

I'll keep that in mind, Casey.

[He will now talk to no one, since it's his problem to deal with.]

Sure, Peter. Anytime.

[does not believe him for a goddamn second, but okay. they're all playing this game.]

[Aggressively redirecting, don't worry about it.]

I plan on talking to Rue about this. I'm just thinking about it.

Asking about it helps.

I'm glad if it helped. I know I'm not like

[...

mrgh. how does he phrase this.]

I don't know what I'm doing either. But I went from having no one to having um

so many people

sometimes I got overwhelmed by it. like Rue kept saying they or all of you loved me and I thought, really? already? no one even knows me, I'm just some kid who brought a lot of grief to their lives and cries a lot over nothing, how could they love me

but they do
and I do

I don't know. It just helped me a lot, to trust them and how they felt, when I couldn't trust myself.

idk what I'm saying I always talk too much, sorry. trust them to love you, I guess is what I really want to say. whatever your answer is.

[Peter has to think about his response, turning it over in his mind. He wants to be mad at Casey for calling him out, but it doesn't last. It never really does with his friends and family.]

You deserve all the kindness, Casey. You've always deserved it. You don't talk too much, or cry too much, promise.

It is overwhelming, yeah, I just...

It's always been just May and me, and now I'll never see her again. I'll never have that life again. Never see those people again. I'm dead, I can't fix that. Even if I did, I can't. I don't...

I probably got my friends killed, and it's my fault and I can't fix that. I can't fix anything.

I love Rue, and I love everyone here, but I don't know what I want. I don't wanna put Rue in danger or anyone else here in danger, I just..

I'm just some dumb kid whose only good for one thing, and I don't even do that anymore. I don't want to, but I'm supposed to.

Okay, sorry, word vomit happened. That was way too much.

I can deal with it. Don't worry.

[Casey reads all of that once, twice. Stares at it for a while. Too much? Maybe. But not really, not for Casey. It just feels like home. Someone is dead. Someone has dead family. Someone got people killed, or at least they think they did. (Usually it's not the case. Even he's guilty of doing that, assuming responsibility for something he ought to blame the Krang for, blame the war for. Being told he's wrong about that doesn't make it any easier to carry.)

Then he gets to the end, and... ugh. How familiar that is, too.]

you shouldn't have to 'deal with it'. none of us would call it 'dealing with it' either. it's helping you. we're here to help you. and you're not dumb.

I'm sorry for

I'm sorry for everything. you've had to carry so much. I hate that life's not fair for any of us. No matter how good a person we are or the good we try to do in the world or how hard we fight

life is hard and mean and we deserve better. it sucks.

i don't think it's right to let fear of losing someone someday stop you from having them in your life now. we both know it's too short for that. say no if you want to say no, but don't let the reason be fear.

I wish I could make a choice.

I'm tired and just wish things were simpler. They're never going to be simple.

Thanks, Casey. Sorry again.

[That feels so... conclusive, but he's said all he feels like he can say. Still.]

It's okay.

We're here for you.

[Because Casey has been so dutifully supporting them through their nervous wait-]

Leo said yes :)

[!!!]

Your patience is rewarded :)

I can not believe I have the three most handsome, wonderful sons in the world.

[mom said they were handsome........]

What are you going to do with us :)

Spoil and love you and hide you all within my wings. :)

At this rate we won't all fit.

Do not doubt the power of a mother's wingspan, little cub!

[Every time they say that, he gets a little tickle of glee. Secretly.]

Please forgive me for this grievous error!

[but is it really secret? is it really?]

Besides, no matter how big our family grows, you shall always have a special place in my wings and in my heart. My very first son. The honorary oldest.

[About as secret as anything ever is with Casey Junior.]

Can you be the oldest while still being the youngest?

[Gosh he's never been the oldest anything.]

I decree it so. :)

My oldest, youngest son. ♥

:) <3

Is it OK that you're my second mom?

[oh. a shift that rue was not entirely prepared for, but not upset by.]

Does that bother you, darling?

Not really. She

[Hm.]

She was mostly my mom in name only, so I just wondered.

[For all they've talked of Leo, it occurs to Rue that they haven't spoken much of Casey's real mother.]

Has she been much on your mind since you began calling me mom?

Not since then, but...

[Hmm, hmm.]

Can I ask a weird question?

You may.

Do you know anything about buried memories?

Only through passing alone. It's nothing I've ever gone through myself, but the fae have notoriously sharp memories.

Is that something you've experienced?

Yeah.

[...He did it to himself again, didn't he.]

When that fae hurt Leo, I remembered something. The day my other mom died.

[The way Rue sucks in a sharp breath without even realizing it. Of course it makes sense that if Casey was there, he would bury that kind of memory away. What child should have to carry such a terrible thing along with them?]

Tell me everything, darling. How does that realization make you feel? Is that the only memory you have of her?

Does calling me your mother feel different now? Is it too much?

No, it's not like that. It's

hang on.

[....Ring, ring.]

[Not to be a boomer but Rue looks relived at the call. Rue is happy to text all of their kids but important conversations take a lot more concentration to type them out with their talons. These phones are just not made for them!]

My love, hello. Thank you for calling me. This is so much more convenient.

I figured it would be.

[He's not entirely convinced it'll be easier to say than type, but his tone isn't exactly tearful. It's quiet, a little guarded. But he's had several weeks to shelf and compartmentalize a lot of these feelings, so. There is that.]

I just- I wanted to say. I wasn't there, I didn't see it. I just know that's the day it happened.

[Of course Rue picks up on that particular tone. They wish they could hold Casey's hand while he works through this, but they can continue sharing their warmth and support from their cottage straight to his heart.]

Tell me what parts you remember now. Anything at all that is weighing on you.

[He's quiet for a long moment, mulling over the invitation and how he ought to respond.]

I remember... she used to come back from missions and see me right away. She called me 'little fireball'? I don't know why. Your nickname reminded me of that. [A beat, and then,] I don't want you to stop! And I don't want to stop calling you mom, either. So don't worry about that.

I do not want to stop either, as long as you are comfortable and happy. You know how deeply I care for you, how impossible it is for me to look at you and not be reminded that you are my son.

[and then more gently,]

But I do not wish to cross any boundaries. It is the same as before, I do not wish to take your mother's place or push her out. So anytime that you want to speak about her, I would be so happy to hear. Including now.

[Little fireball is darling, even if Rue is missing the context.]

I imagine you must have been on her mind while she was out. Seeing you after would be the highlight of her day.

Edited 2023-11-24 07:58 (UTC)

A mother's intuition?

[There's a sliver of humour in his tone. He's seen how Rue lights up when they see him. He knows the truth.]

I do remember that, though. A little bit. When she came back, she'd carry me to the mess hall and we'd eat together. She was supposed to come back around then, but... when our door opened it wasn't her. The Krang had found our base, they were- people were-

[He halts again, a slow inhale. It was a long time ago... he's not afraid of them anymore. (Maybe a little. Maybe Krang Prime, a little. Maybe the Technodrome, a lot.)]

...She was scouting that day. Outside the base. She never came home.

[They've been caught red-pawed.

But Rue does not even have a chance to settle in the fluttery-sweet feeling of that moment, because what Casey says next leaves their blood running cold immediately.]

They found you there?

...Yeah. [It's such a strange thing to worry about, or be hesitant in saying - he obviously lived to tell the tale - but here it is. He tries to keep his voice level.] She was going to kill me, but Master Leonardo stopped her, fought her off. He told me to run, and I... couldn't. I just sat there.

[He hesitates again. Once he says it... it's out there, forever. No takebacks. But isn't it only right? Only fair? They should have full disclosure. They'd accepted him, mess and all, but Leo's their son now too. And he's the one who keeps getting hurt because of Casey's choices.]

...I was... in the way. I didn't move fast enough. That's how sensei lost his arm. That's... why I remembered. I did it again.

[Rue would give anything to be there with him for this, but maybe that is why Casey has chosen such a distant method to speak. To not give himself the chance to press his face into feathers and hide, to put more distance between him and the comfort he knows Rue would swaddle him in.

They tease about him being the eldest by virtue of adoption order, but Casey is still so young. To have something so heavy and dark weighing down upon him... How is it that all of these boys carry such demons on their backs?]

I know it seems like such an easy trail to follow, Casey, but your inaction is not the true cause for what happened to either Leo. You must not forget the ones who did it to him. To take any of the blame away from them and put it back onto yourself is far credit more than any of them deserve. Truly dear, one mistake does not redefine an entire person.

Besides, you did not hesitate when I was in danger. I would not have lived if you had.

[Casey takes a slow, shaky breath at that, quiet for almost too long. A part of him knows that they're right. Logically, circumstances are what caused everything to happen. He was a kid, he was ambushed, he was doing his best in a world gone mad. His expectations of himself are far too high. He can't shake the feeling, though. Sensei was the greatest ninja in the world. How much stronger could he have been with two arms, without the prosthetic weighing him down? Without the chronic or ghost pains, without the mechanical issues. If sensei hadn't been carrying him to safety, could Master Raphael have survived the fight that fatally wounded him that day? Saving sensei and Casey?

There's at least a dozen ways he could respond to that with, but the one that sneaks out, ultimately, is,]

He keeps getting hurt... because of me. I don't know why he doesn't...

[Resent him? Hate him? Stop saving him? Want to not be around him anymore? Change anything about how he acts around Casey? He's happy, of course - he doesn't ever want to be disliked by Leo - but the apparent lack of it feels so unearned.]

[A gentle, thoughtful hum on the other end of the relic. On some level, Rue understands where Casey's fears and hurts are coming from. His feelings are not completely unfounded, after all. To hurt someone he so dearly loves, not just once, but twice, even indirectly, the guilt must be so immense.]

I can not speak for Leo, of course, but in my experience of knowing him, I believe he would not only forgive you, but that he'd say you are putting undo pressure upon yourself. Mistakes happen - even ones as terrible as the one Leo has been through - but your intention was never to hurt him. You have only ever tried to do your very best. And both Leo and I know that.

[And because it should be asked,]

Have you spoken to him since, dearest?

[There's a third time that Rue isn't thinking of- all the damage done to Leo in the prison dimension was because of Casey's decision. And still, there's no blame, no resentment. Leo had dismissed it when he'd tried to take the blame. Said he helped save the world. And here...]

...We talked. He said we were even... he saved me, and I saved him. That he's glad I was safe. He never blamed me.

[In other words, exactly what Rue might have imagined Leo would say. It's what he'd have expected Leo to say. So why doesn't this feeling go away?]

[Rue would blame Casey for what happened to Leo in that hellish place as much as they would blame Leo for feeling the need to make the decision he did. Those were not normal decisions that had to be made. They were terrible circumstances where the literal fate of the world rested upon their young shoulders.

In the end, the decisions saved so many, so they must have been as correct as they could have been.]

But you do not feel any relief?

[He exhales a heavy breath.]

Sort of? Maybe. Not really. [This is hard.] Even if it was one-hundred-percent definitely my fault, I don't think he'd... hate me.

[Leo isn't generally a hateful person. He can hold a hell of a grudge, but that's different.]

No one else blames me. But I blame myself.

[It's a very mature way of thinking for his age, honestly, to not mistake his own feelings for anyone else's. It would be so easy to feel that guilt inside of him and assume it's true source was from Leo or one of the others, but Casey can handle that it is his own perceived wrongdoing that is bothering him.]

My next question is not meant to be condescending, I truly mean it with all sincerity.

How would you have done things differently, now that you are able to look back now?

[Oof. Asking the real questions.]

I... don't know. I'd have tried harder not to get separated from Hunter- if I hadn't been alone, Leo wouldn't have had to save me. Or if I was stronger, or faster, or had trained harder, I might not have gotten myself shot. What if I'm slacking off too much here? Caring about things that shouldn't matter...

[Time spent fussing over his hair or doing his nails or watching movies when he could have been training. Could that added skill save a life? Or a limb? What if all his playing around is screwing up the futures of him and people he cares about?]

[Rue hums above him, thoughtful as they take in Casey's answer. There are just simply too many 'what-ifs' to consider, so many ways Leo or Casey might have been able to circumvent the horror they were subjected to.

But above all, the true culprit remains unchanged, and as bad as the outcome was, Rue can think of some that could have been even worse.]

I think the one thing we can take away from this is that there will always be facets of the future we are unable to predict or plan for. But darling, there is still a way to stay safe while allowing yourself the space to live in this wonderful world we've been given. I would never ask that you stop training, I've learned that sparring can be a good tool to keep your body and mind sharp, but we can find the balance to train and still paint our nails, don't you think?

And though I know you and Leo are very physically capable young men, there are still limits to what mortal bodies can do. It is neither of your faults when going against opponents with a millennia of combat experience, when their senses are just sharper naturally due to the magic that fuels them. You should give yourself some grace.

[Another heavy silence, as Casey swallows hard around the lump in his throat, tries to suck back the tears he knows are coming again. His conflict is undeniable: he loves this new life, the peace and quiet and freedom that comes with it. He wants that balance, to go back to how things were. And he's trying, he really is. There's just no helping that feeling of selfishness, when he does things for himself again. School he can excuse as being useful for his training. New understanding of tech means better gear and faster repairs. Learning tidbits of magic with Hunter (what little he's capable of) means gaining power. Training means getting stronger and tougher. Even learning how to be an owlbear with Rue would be helpful in the future, knowing how to utilize this new weapon.

Nails and hair are just... aesthetic, though. That won't save anyone.]

....Sometimes bad things happen, huh...? [It's a similar sentiment, and one he's heard before. It's a hard pill to swallow.] I hate that. It's so- helpless. At least if it's my fault, it's something I can try to fix...

[Sometimes it's easier to take the blame onto his shoulders than accept that the cruelty of life is inevitable.]

[Nails and hair and birthday parties and Halloween costumes and movie marathons late into the night... None of them bring any value to survival, but there is something to be said about how they strengthen the heart and the bonds between each of them. There's still power to be found in the quiet moments, and sometimes you need to be reminded how beautiful and peaceful the world can be, to find the strength to fight for it in the darker moments.]

I know, darling. It feels helpless and senseless and wildly unfair. But I have no doubt that we will all make it through today, just as we have every single day that passed before it. And I vow to you, that anytime you need my strength to push through, it is yours.

[None of it is fair. But at least none of them must face this alone. Never again.]

The best thing we can do for Leo is to support him through these next few months. Blaming ourselves or wondering what we could have done differently will just keep us pulling him back into the past.

Yeah... I... I'll work on it. I know it isn't something I should bring up with him again. He'd probably scold me anyway.

[He'd still been awfully out of it last time, but the conversation attempt had only caused him distress. Casey has zero desire to let his own guilt complex hurt those around him, especially not Leo, who'd suffered enough. It's fine, he can carry this on his own. The memory is new, and it burns in his heart, too much awful regained in too short a span of time, with too much else happening at the same time. It's... a lot of too much, which sounds silly, but that's still how it feels.

Burying it isn't... great, either, but... if this is something he needs to actively work on, there's no sense in spreading it around, either. He's being childish, this is stupid, and Rue's advice makes a lot of sense. He should let it go.]

...I'm sorry. You came here with good news. Um- so, he was able to decide finally? Did something change his mind, or did he just need some time?

My celebrations can come at any time, little one. I do not mind putting them aside just to speak with you about this instead. Your feelings are just as important to me.

[And the very last thing Rue needs to worry about is any of their kids closing up again after this trauma. They've all made such progress.]

Knowing Leo, he might playfully scold you, but Casey, if you feel that you need to speak with him further on the subject, I have no doubt in my heart that Leo will listen to your every worry.

[a gentle emphasizing pause, before Rue adds,]

But we need to allow him space to grieve what he has been through first. Leo has been deeply hurt, and we both know I do not mean the wound that I sealed up for him. He will come out of this stronger than before, but right now, we need to give him the grace to be as furious and upset as he has every right to be.

Until we feel that he is ready to talk more deeply on what happened, you can speak to me about it as much as you need. I may not have an answer for every question, but I will hear every word you speak and every concern that grips your heart. You do not need to face this alone. I am always here and willing.

[rue noooo he was trying to move things along and derail this disaster of a conversation, he's falling down the metaphorical stairs here-

He's silent for a while on the other end, mulling over their words, since that was... a lot... literally and figuratively. He understands what they're saying, and their concerns are valid. He's seen what happens when terrible things are buried for too long, and he has no desire to be on the receiving end of an intervention like Leo. It hadn't gone great. He's not sure if he'd be any better.]

I wasn't gonna ask him.

[He already hadn't planned to, but it feels worth reiterating. Rue's right, Leo doesn't need to be dealing with his personal problems right now. It's the same with Hunter- he's dealing with so much on his own already. But isn't Rue the same? They were hurt terribly, wounded by another Star Child, someone who should be a neighbour or a friend. Hunted by fae, their own distant kind. Peter might have died. Donnie killed someone. Raph's weighed down by not being there to protect everyone when it's all he ever wants to do. Everyone's endured so much. They're not obligated to listen to him whine or gripe or cry about something that happened a decade ago, nor what happened last month.

He's doing okay. He can work through it, compartmentalize and take it apart piece by piece gradually if the need arises later. Do what he's always done. It's not so hard, and he's gotten very good at it over the years. He can wait.]

It's... not that I'm hiding it, or trying to deal with it alone. [Not exactly. Not forever.] I just... don't know what else to say.

[Just as always, even if it's a touch harder from a distance, Rue gives Casey all of the space and time he needs to process out all that's been said. Their patience is the very smallest thing they can give him right now in this moment, but the owlbear has patience in spades.

And honestly, the answer that they get is about what they expected. It's fair, and more importantly, it's honest. That's all they could ever ask from him.]

That is alright, Casey. You know that the moment those words do come to you, your family is here to listen. You need only say the word and I would be there.

...I know. I'm-

[Sorry, but Rue probably doesn't want to hear more apologies. Like they said, now and before, his feelings are important. He should feel them, and share them, as much as he needs. He just wishes that right now he didn't have so many, and that they weren't so much.]

...I'm glad I called you.

[Better, and still truthful. He's not sure if this conversation has helped right now, but he thinks it might later. He just has to mull over it for a while, see if it makes a real dent in what he's been feeling. At the very least he does feel better, having spoken with Rue. They always make him feel better in some way.]

[Even under these circumstances, there's no hiding the happiness that curls at Rue's tone on the other end of the line.]

I am so glad you did too. I love you.

[They aren't worried for Casey in the same way they are for Peter or Leo. Rue knows he will reach out if he needs them without the fear of being a bother.]

I love you, too. Congrats again about Leo, um... goodnight, Mom.

[Then he'll let them go. He has some thinking to do- or at least, avoiding for a while, until the time for thinking comes later.]

[Rue lets him go, but about five minutes later, Casey does get one last quick text.]

🎷🐢
🎷🦉
🎷🧍

We are all so talented. :)

[After a few minutes, they get a reply.]

🎹🧍

shake the band up a little

[Casey can probably imagine Rue's delighted expression after reading that.]

[ Jaws theme but instead of the Jaws theme it's just Raph walking around like a normal person.

He gives Casey some time before he circles back with him. Breathing room time, getting cleaned up time, that kinda thing. Because respectfully, it really seemed like the kid needed the breathing room. Raph was never not gonna circle around, though.

So he leaves Leo to Rue and/or Peter's capable watching eyes for a while at some point and just goes ahead and sits down next to Casey. Or stands next to him. idk what Casey is doing, Raph's just gonna match it. ]

How you holdin' up, bud?

[ No one has ever walked such a precision line of soft big brother voices without going directly into babytalk. Incredible. ]

[Casey's in the kitchen, trying to wrestle his way through making a big breakfast to feed his very full apartment, with 1.5 functioning arms while being as quiet as possible. He has some movement back in his hand (yay!) but his arm's still in the sling (boo) and the clothes he's in now, while clean at last, are obviously borrowed and too big for him. Fair to say he's having some difficulties.

He hears Raph's approach (when the full ninja mode's not on he is kind of impossible to miss) but he still feels unprepared for the soft kindness in Raph's voice. I got you killed, though, is his first uncomfortable thought.

Don't say that. They're not the same. It's just still too fresh in his memory.]

Hi, Raph, [he goes for instead.] I'm- I'm doing okay. [He is not not fine. It's adjacent to okay.] You hungry?

[ Some Difficulties: a Casey Jones tale.

He is literally so small and trying so hard. Raph loves him. "Doing okay" is better than saying he's doing great and p...robably better than bursting into tears? Unsure. Raph ruffles his hair just to be safe. ]

Yeah, sure. Lemme give you an extra set of hands? Raph could use somethin' to do. [ Ultimate chef team of 1.5 functioning arms and Raph's giant hands. It's foolproof. ]

[That sure is his life for some reason (the reason is aliens). At Raph's offer, though, his responding smile is equal parts gratefulness and guilt, because Raph probably has a hundred different things that are higher priority but oh god, he really needs help.]

Um- yeah. Yes. Thank you. Can you crack some eggs into a bowl? I kept getting shells in it.

[So many things are harder to do delicately with only one hand, who knew. ...Oh. That's Leo's life now, though.]

-There's meat slices in the fridge... maybe we can toast some bread and make breakfast sandwiches. We'll need something light for when sensei wakes up, so I was thinking a broth... um...

[Food distraction, food distraction...!]

Egg duty, no problem. [ He will heroically eat any with shells in it and enjoy a free crunch. Other issue solved.

In the meantime, Raph's grateful to have a job to channel energy towards. Like, literally anything that feels adjacent to actually helping or taking care of something right now. Poor Leo... thinking he escaped the broth mines after the invasion only to wind up in this situation. Tragic. ]

Sounds like a solid game plan to me. Whenever we roll back out, we'll leave your place at least as clean and stocked up as it was before, alright? Scout's honor. [ He has technically been some kind of scout so it's doubly legally binding.

Raph about to be like thank you for everything, here is all the stuff I could physically carry out of a store please let me know what else is on the list. ]

[Casey is literally the last person to criticize anyone about weird food choices. He's been fully prepared to choke down his terrible eggshell omelette and not even complain once.]

You don't have to worry about any of that... what's mine is yours, you know? I'm just glad everyone's... safe.

[Not- not okay. Not yet, that's asking for a lot, with Leo still in the state he's in. Anyway, they don't need to give him back anything for all of this. It's his fault that-]

[ Casey is just baby. He is just little. A sweet boy who must be protected at all costs. ]

If there's one thing you gotta know about Raph, it's that he always worries about all of it anyway. [ Sometimes only in vague, anxious ways that his much more detail-oriented brothers make the most actual steps towards fixing. He's a planner, not a strategist. Still though.

Points at! Gently! ] But everyone bein' safe is always the biggest one. And you're part of that, so you get taken care of. This is the Hamato ecosystem.

[ Only kinda sorta knows what "ecosystem" actually means. But Donnie's not in here to correct him. That means he's right until he decides he's wrong. ]

[He does remember that part, Raph always worrying. Even in the robotic body he'd existed in for the years Casey remembers clearly, his expressions had been distinct enough to tell. Sensei made jokes about needing to draw on the worry lines the way Uncle Tello drew his eyebrows. It's because he cared, everyone knew that. He worried for his family because he loved so deeply. Worried harder when Michelangelo aged too fast, when sensei struggled with the weight of leadership, when Donatello died and they were drowning in grief. Raph was there, holding them together, until he wasn't.

The Hamato ecosystem, he says, and Casey's a part of it. It's similar to what Leo said before - a Jones, but also a Hamato - and it makes his chest ache, warmth filling another section of the void he'd been enduring since leaving the future, the only world has ever known. Such a stark difference from the interrogation in the lair, when the only family he'd ever known looked at him and demanded to know who he was. Part of it.

He gazes at Raph for a handful of seconds as the words sink their way through his exhausted mind, until he slides the pan off eggs off of the active element to avoid burning and asks in a voice that feels too small,]

Can I cash in that hug?

[He would very much like it, right now.]

[ No-negotiation establishing of care: success. Casey isn't trying to negotiate it at all, which is good because Raph's skull is thicker than any of that.

Loving is easy. It's the traumatic life events that are hard.

He looks very touched to be getting this hug request, for the record. ]

Yeah. Anytime.

[ Raph abandons egg duties in favor of looping an arm around Casey's shoulder to pull him in. Promises were made and he will deliver. A premium (slightly rumbly) Raph Hug. ]

Thanks for makin' it back too, huh?

[ The years of lifespan retained by that alone... phew. At least Leo is here. At least Casey is here. ]

[Casey is moved and sinks into it quietly, winding the arm that works as far around Raph as he can reach. His head thunks gently against the plastron, and he just kind of lives in this moment for a bit, eyes closed, breathing deep. Experiencing the Raph Hug. It feels familiar. He'd expected that - with their size difference, it's a bit like hugging sensei, even if only one arm is the right shape for it - but there's another, quieter nostalgia attached that he can't name. Some secret sense-memory that loves to elude him. It forms a lump in his throat that he has to swallow back, not trusting his voice to answer, merely nodding. He's glad they made it back. They're bloody and broken but they're here, they're alive. Like after the last invasion, picking up the pieces of what's left.

Eventually he mumbles,]

...You do give great hugs.

[He's never been so glad to have confirmed rumours as true.]

[ The audacity to go into this comfort hug and then make him snortlaugh after a while. How dare. ]

I get a lotta practice in.

I could stand to have a little more of that.

[Practice? Hugs? Both good. He'll cling as long as he thinks he can get away with. Only then does he dare to voice what he feels compelled to say.]

...I'm sorry... he got hurt because of me. [Again.]

[ So there's been load-bearing guilt energy. This poor kid. ]

Nah, that don't hold water.

[ Eloquence, thy name is Raph. ]

[Eloquence, meet confusion.]

What...? You don't even know what happened.

[Unless Leo was coherent enough to explain, but he's doubtful of that. It was an awfully severe bloodloss.]

Yes or no: did you personally chop his arm off yourself, with evil intent?

[Mortifying, but super effective.]

No!

Then you got nothin' to apologize for 'cause it's not your fault. Ipso facto. I'm savin' my blame for the creep that actually did it.

[ His relationship to the concept of Donnie doing a premeditated murder of revenge is going to be complicated at best, on that front. ]

I know that probably don't make you not feel bad. [ Raph is, among his talents, familiar with feeling guilty and responsible for bad things that happen to his family even when logic doesn't support it. Kinda just happens. ] But the truth's the truth, Casey. This whole situation's as much on you as it is on Leo.

[ Wait, does that sound bad? That needs context. ]

So not on you. None amount. And you can't even arm wrestle me about it 'cause you got hurt too!

[ He needs to send Mind Raph to do a tour of duty aggressively supporting Junior, clearly. Throw some papers in the air. Tell him the whole court's out of order. ]

[Casey looks for a moment like he wants to argue, but if blaming himself means also blaming Leo, then he'll absolutely keep his mouth shut. There's no way it's Leo's fault.]

None amount... [It sounds ridiculous to say, but it drags a wary and very nervous smile to Casey's lips. It sounds nice, in theory. To not be at fault.] So if I can't arm-wrestle for it, I can't argue?

[ None amount. The math is clear. ]

Nope. Ask anyone, that's how I do. [ When he's totally sure he's right and therefore refuses to allow a contest that he can't win. ] Whatever went down happened to you guys.

[ You're literally kids end of statement. ]

That feels like an unfair standard. I couldn't beat you even if both arms were working.

[But okay, he'll concede that that one at least is a very fair point. It was done to them... to him, to Leo. He didn't cut anyone's arm off personally, he didn't ask for or organize it to happen.

...This one's easier to relent on than the portal issue (that he is not going to bring up) so with a quiet exhale, he finally just... nods. Okay. He won't bring up blaming himself with Raph again.]

...Thank you.

Yeah, 'cause of the power of my rightness.

[ He's full of shit about arm-wrestling specifically. But not about his rightness right now, in which Raph is very confident. ]

Anytime. I got conviction enough for both of us.

[ Because conviction, like hope or optimism, can also be stubbornness wearing a fancy hat. Maybe even more than those other things. ]

[Casey laughs, the sound quiet and brief, but it exists in that space, so that's something, surely. Sadness not defeated forever (is it ever?) but this round goes to Raph. As it should.]

So... you're not blaming yourself either, right?

[Because same logic applies. He knows how this works. He may not have experienced Raph hugs but he has been around the Big Brother Guilt.]

[ sacre bleu- ]

I wasn't even there. This ain't about me by definition.

[ Or whether or not he feels guilty for not being there. Obviously. ]

That's not a yes, though.

[He knows a few of these work-arounds.]

It's a, uh.

[ Words. Thoughts. What's it like to be good with those? He wants to return the honesty for honesty because that's a respect thing and a trust thing, which he's theoretically been working on since the Shredder stuff. And Casey's kind of a straight shooter with a real talk, which Raph just appreciates a lot in general.

But it's also not, like. A whole thing. He doesn't think it is. He worries about stuff and he feels guilty about stuff. Grass is green. The sky is blue. Even for this, right? ]

A "I don't think it's my fault for not bein' there, but I wish I coulda been there to help you guys." Normal level stuff.

Normal level... yeah, that sounds right. [It's reassuring enough that he's okay to drop it. He trusts Raph.] Um, thank you for being here now, though. Knowing you were here and safe made a big difference for the rest of us.

[He'd spent half the night trying to reach Peter and Hunter, and it'd raised his stress levels something awful. But Raph, Leo, and Rue were right here the whole time. That meant so much.]

[ He did it... he communicated his feelings level accurately. This is a banner day for Raphs everywhere. ]

I get that. [ Giving Casey the gentlest of elbow nudges. ] Glad I can help hold the fort down some for you guys.

[The shiniest of gold stars for the champ of communication here. And the elbow nudge, gentle as it is, helps Casey's smile return. Guy could've bodied him through the wall with those guns, but he barely felt the impact. Raph really knows his strength.]

Me too. Let's, um. Let's get back to breakfast, we don't wanna keep everyone waiting.

[Sensei will need his terrible broth soon.]

Yeah, we don't wanna get hangry in the mix right now.

[ Things have been rough enough. They're two responsible young men who will cook for their beloved family. Even though Leo will probably complain about his terrible broth when he has the strength to complain again. RIP. ]

Thanks for the talk, though.

[Genuinely such a relief- for the help, for the reassurances (mutually, he hopes), for the hug too. And yes, for the talking. Casey smiles and returns to cooking breakfast feeling slightly less weight on his shoulders.]

You too. Any time, Raph.

[Things are still not so great here in the middle of this trial, but Leo is finally on the mend and some other hurts have been soothed over, so it only makes sense to Rue to take a few of these blessed quiet moments to celebrate.

So they find Casey somewhere in one of those moments and take his hand without warning, before gently pulling him to the main room of his apartment. It is not much, not even close to the full party he deserves, but there is a cupcake heaped with swirling chocolate frosting and sprinkles and a single balloon tied to a chair. As soon as they walk into the room, the candle in the cupcake lights up on it's own.]

We will have a true party after all of this mess, but I did not want to miss out on the chance to celebrate you today.

[Casey's eyes widen at the display, and he stares for a long moment, brows furrowing, like it's a puzzle he's trying to decipher. It's been months since Peter's party, and balloons and a birthday cake are still very much a foreign concept to him, but as the moment passes and it clicks, his eyes widen. Oh. Oh. This is-]

I forgot, [he murmurs, fingers squeezing Rue's paw a little. So much has happened.] For me?

[He blinks rapidly. Even a cupcake and a candle is- it's so much.]

[Somehow, in the chaos of these last few weeks, Rue is not surprised Casey forgot. They are only glad that they did not.]

For you, [comes their gentle response, Rue giving Casey's hand a squeeze before leading him closer to the table.]

I hope it is alright it is just the two of us. I thought we would save the true thing for your real party, but I wanted to get you a small treat either way. And a candle to blow out, so you could make a wish.

[...

Yeah, you knew it was coming. He's tearing up. This kid is gonna cry. He slides into the chair and kind of stares at the cupcake like he'd just been handed the greatest, richest gift in the universe.]

N-no... it's fine. It's perfect. Thank you...

[He has to blow it out?? This perfect candle in his perfect cupcake? He needs a minute. He just wants to watch it for a bit.]

[It's expected on normal days, so Rue was doubly expecting it today.

They don't trust these flimsy dining room chairs, so they'll just drop into a kneel at Casey's side, a paw at his back as the flickering flame dances along for them. The wax at the very top of the candle is just beginning to start dripping.]

Take your time, dear, there is no rush. [a little wax never hurt anyone. probably.]

I saw online that humans celebrate their day of birth with a song. Would you like me to sing it?

[You know he'd eat wax if it was covered in chocolate-]

I remember the song... we had that much, at least. It's been a few years.

[His head lifts, curious, though his eyes are still drawn to the candle-lit cupcake. There was no chocolate, or icing, or cake mix, or sugar, but they had voices, and memories. Songs are free. It wasn't a party, and life was always so busy, but for a handful of years when he was young enough for it to feel important, selfish enough to want more attention, he had the song.]

[Rue knows their son will eat almost anything. It is a habit they might never be able to break him out of.

There are moments when Casey is looking out and focusing on something beyond the physical world where he looks so much older than his young years. He has been through so much for such a short life, more than Rue fully understands still, even after all of their talks together. Their paw slips upwards to gently play with the ends of his hair instead, giving Casey his moment to simply think.]

Would you like me to sing it? Or is it rather childish? I do not fully understand all of the birthday traditions. We do not celebrate anything like that back home.

[But they are trying their best!]

[He's watching for ghosts, in truth. They appear so often, without warning or fanfare, there and gone again. Moments when he talks with the turtles, when he's reminded of something, a sense memory, an echo. The weight of a casual arm around his shoulder, the way sensei used to.

"What's the matter, Case? Getting too old for the song now?"]

You- [Good grief, his voice cracked. He swallows and tries again. Over a birthday... honestly...] You can sing it... if you want.

[He wouldn't mind hearing it again. Not at all.]

[Oh, their boy. Rue notices, of course they do, but they try to not point it out and make Casey more stressed than he already is.

So Rue gives him a little look and a hum of understanding before beginning. It's maybe more musical and trilling than a simple Happy Birthday song is supposed to be, but they are a bard and Casey deserves every comfort they can provide in these difficult times.]

[Casey listens quietly, not at all bothered by it being music and trilling; his expression is nostalgic, a little conflicted but not sad. His hands rest on the table, fingers idly scraping.

Once the song finishes, he at last leans forward to blow out the candle. As the thin trail of smoke drifts upwards, he turns back to Rue, eyes teary but his smile bright.]

Thank you...!

[Maybe it's childish. But he did like the song. And he did make a wish.]

[Rue bumps their forehead to his, cooing happily at his response. It's just fine to be a little tearful and nostalgic, especially around such a special day. But seeing him smile means Rue knows they made the right choice to do a private celebration the day of.]

Happy birthday, little one. Keep your wish close to your heart and it should come true.

[He exhales a quiet laugh, bumping his head back against theirs, and picks the candle out of the cupcake, licking the frosting off the end. (He doesn't even eat the wax. Celebrate his restraint.)]

You're not supposed to share it?

[Their boy is growing up!]

No! You must keep it a secret between yourself and the magic of this world. Speaking the words aloud will break the magic of this birthday spell.

Oh! [His eyes widen.] Then- I won't say anything.

[Very important information. He'd never want that wish to risk not coming true...

He plucks up the cupcake, tugging the paper off the base. It's a little haphazard, but he splits the cake in two pieces with his hands and offers one half out to Rue.]

[It shouldn't surprise them as much as it does. Casey has always been one of the most generous people Rue has ever known.

Even if they'd rather he enjoy the whole thing, they know he'll be happier sharing, so Rue accepts, tipping their half of cupcake against his in a faux cheer like tipping glasses together.

And then they tip their head back and swallow it whole like any owl would.]

Along with your party, I would like to spend a whole day just the two of us doing something of your choosing. Whatever you like. It is fully up to you.

[He nibbles away at his cupcake, one slow nibble at a time. Usually he would be the one stuffing it into his face in a few bites, but today he's taking their previous words to heart; he is savouring it, this first birthday cake ever.]

Oh, like that day we had in Tides? We could do something like that again...

[He's not sure if that's what he'd want specifically, but it had been a fun day out with Rue.]

We could!

[Instead of licking their talons, Rue politely wipes them clean on a napkin.]

We could visit the salon again and have another self-care day. Or we could craft together in the morning and then do your hair and our nails after. Or we could go holiday shopping together for everyone else. You do not have to decide just yet. But whatever you'd like, I will be delighted to enjoy it with you.

I'm not sure if I want to go back there again. For this, I mean.

[He's still kind of iffy on the sub journey. Even with the kraken issue resolved, he still gets terribly antsy in small enclosed spaces when he has no control. He can put up with it, but it's not a great start to a fun day out.]

There's gotta be fun places around here. Something similar, or... maybe something new. [He sits back in his chair, quietly pleased at the prospect. Life has been terribly hard lately, but things are... sort of looking up? A little?] I'll think about it. But- definitely, yes.

Why don't you look into it later?

[Normally, Rue would take up the lead for any activity planning, easily drafting up a list of places they could go to, rating them one through five on a scale of what they assume Casey's opinion of them would be.

But Casey is sixteen now. Maybe giving him a touch more responsibility - within reason - might be good for him.

(It is also, though no one could blame Casey for missing it, a clear sign of their unwavering trust in him. Rue would never let just anyone take this planning out of their paws. So it's incredibly significant, like they are passing the torch down onto their son, knowing he will do right by them.)]

If you have any questions on places or activities along the way, I would be happy to answer. But then you and I can take a peek at your completed list and go from there.

[He's a perceptive kid, though certainly not a mind-reader. Something about this feels especially significant, though he might need some time to parse it. He sucks a bit of icing off the side of his thumb, mulling over it. Feels sort of like his own project to work on, something outside of school- something specifically for them. Almost like he gets to plan a little party for Rue the way they're planning one for him. Even if it is technically a day meant for him to indulge in, since it's associated with his birthday, he'd like to make it a day for them anyway. Both of them.

Yeah, he has some thinking to do.]

Are you giving me homework on my birthday?

[The deal has been made.

Rue reaches up to gently ruffle Casey's hair before pulling away to give him back his space. He's a big kid now, he doesn't need to be crowded by his mom every five seconds.]

I think that feels very parental of me, don't you?

[Okay but what if he likes the hair ruffles and the crowding-

He grins anyway, lifting the last few bites of the cupcake in salute.]

I'll take your word for it.

[Alright, he's getting a gentle tickle of talons up his side at that.]

You had better!

[He laughs, squirming away a bit- though he can't go far on the chair, so instead he scoots it sideways a little, stuffing the cupcake in his mouth before he drops it.

As he chews (slowly) though, he reaches down to catch their paw, just holding on quietly until he swallows and can offer up a softer, grateful smile.]

Seriously... thank you. Thanks for remembering... for always thinking of me. This is a really great birthday.

[It might seem like nothing to someone like Rue who has seen and hosted incredibly lavish and intricate parties for centuries, but for a kid who grew up with nothing at the end of the world, it's everything. Their nights have been chaos, there's been so much loss and pain with more to come, but that's been his whole life, birthdays included. This moment, just a little cupcake and a balloon and a song and a mom who loves him, makes it great.]

The first of many.

[Casey had better be prepared for the future because Rue is going to make each and every birthday bigger and better than the last. Forget the Bloom, this is the most important event they'll ever plan.]

Now, you are not too old for cuddles, are you? I should like to wrap the birthday boy up in my wings. For as long as he'll allow me.

I don't think I'll ever be too old for that.

[He may be sixteen now, but he can be young at heart forever. Especially with so much of his childhood stolen away by the war against Krang. Becoming a child soldier at 12 until very recently means he has at least 4 years of extra cuddles before it becomes weird, right?

Either way, he's still young enough. He scoots his chair sideways and lifts his arms, the universal request for uppies. (He knows they love to sweep him up.)]

[How funny that there were fae that Rue interacted with frequently for many a millennia who they knew less than Casey knows them now after only a few short months. Because yes, it is Rue's absolute favorite thing to sweep him up into their wings.

So they do, right off of his feet with a little twirl in the air before Rue is wrapping the teen up and showering him in nuzzles and owl kisses. Time to get fussed at, birthday boy, they are going to preen his hair clean before redoing it nicely for his special day.]

Please call me when you have a moment. :)

It is nothing bad, just unexpected!

Edited 2023-11-27 04:18 (UTC)

[Huh. Not bad, but unexpected? He's grateful for the distinction, admittedly, since he doesn't get around to responding right away. As soon as he has a moment to check, though, he's calling.]

Hello, darling! How is your day?

[sorry, but small talk with mom comes first]

[Mom sus.]

Hi, Mom. Today was good... nothing really happened, though. What about you?

[What is going on......]

I had a very lovely day, besides missing you and the boys. Some of my snowdrops have just begun to blossom out in the yard! I can not wait for you to see them.

[sus who]

[Aww they miss everybody. (Move closer!!)]

That sounds nice. Want me to come over?

[They'd said it wasn't anything bad, but.]

[But their garden....!]

Casey, you know I would never turn you away. But I also do not want to eat up all of your free time that should be spent with your friends. If you already have plans or simply want a day free to do nothing, you deserve it.

[....

Mmmmmmmmwanting to be there for Mom but also wanting space and sensible amounts of free time. There is a war in his heart.

It really does not sound urgent, though, and he does technically have some things that need doing today. Not urgently, but he definitely couldn't do them and also commute all the way back and forth to Gram and still get home before nightfall. That's asking for trouble.]

How about later in the week, then?

[Rue is more than happy to wait for when it fits Casey's schedule better. The last thing they ever want to do is add inconvenience to his day or put him in any danger returning home late.]

That would be wonderful. Thank you, Casey. Whenever works best for you.

[His schedule is a little more full than it used to be, now that he has school, but he still likes to make time for Rue, of course. And he has 4 days of the week where his schedule can be whatever he wants it to be.]

It's on my calendar! That I have. Definitely. [It's on the relic somewhere.] Are you going to tell me what's going on?

[rue is so very grateful for any time that their boys will spare for them. that is one thing they shall never take for granted.]

I do not know if he's spoken to you yet, but Hunter and I have decided that he would very much like to be a part of our growing family. So I will be adopting him.

[The surprise in his voice makes it evident that he did not get told about this, actually.]

Oh... oh, wow! That's- amazing. I'm really glad... if anybody deserves a new family, it's Hunter.

[He doesn't know what Rue knows, but after certain recent revelations, this is even better news than it would have been before learning Belos' true nature. (And he already knew enough to want to ruin that guy's whole life, so. That's saying something.)]

[They weren't too worried over Casey being anything but supportive over the news, but there is, perhaps, just the slightest exhale of relief on Rue's end of the line.]

I hope you are not too cross that I've stolen your roommate and turned him into another son, but you did say no one would be surprised if I showed up with another.

[He laughs, followed up by feigned offense.]

Just because he's your son doesn't mean he won't be my roommate. You're not allowed to steal him! I'd get so lonely you'd never hear the end of it. [A little dramatic, but also weirdly honest.] You'll have to deal with sharing instead.

[He's joking... but also!! It would so very much bum him out if he didn't get to see Hunter every day. He loves the routine, the company... but most of all his friend.]

[Rue will just pretend they aren't offended that Casey is more concerned about sharing Hunter than sharing Rue!]

Of course, we know he would not want to live here with me anyway. You have nothing to worry about. My stealing is all figurative.

[~~please, he knows he's the favourite~~

He might think of that later. Right now he's really just happy for them.]

Good. Anyway it goes without saying, I'm not cross and I don't mind. I wonder if I should have seen it coming, actually! Any time we talked about you, he kind of cheered up.

[A soft, thoughtful pause, before Rue's voice comes out just a touch quieter.]

Truly?

Uh-huh. I wouldn't lie about that.

[He knows better. Rue takes their opinions of them seriously.]

[They can not help but hold that knowledge close to their heart.

Hunter is so open with them, yes, but he is also very young and so desperate for that parental approval and love that it worries Rue that they might not be exactly what he needs. They want to do their best for him, to give him the support he needs to grow past this trauma and hurt he's been through, to see him become someone confident and mature and happy.

So there has maybe been a tiny tingle of worry that Rue might not be enough.

But if Hunter has spoken about them positively, if the very topic of them has managed to cheer him up in anyway, then maybe their fears were for nothing.]

I know you would not lie, you are right. What a silly thing to ask. Thank you for telling me. I'm... [a delicate pause] It warms me to know that he feels that way with me already. I want to do well with him. To keep making him happy like that.

[Their words are heard, felt, and processed, and met initially with a quiet exhale, almost a sigh. That delicate pause is echoed on Casey's end, then doubled, before he quietly asks,]

Has he told you much about his uncle?

[He doesn't want to break Hunter's confidence, because this has been such a delicate subject to tackle since they met, but. He has so, so many worried thoughts, Rue. He's been keeping his mouth shut for two months now and it's been very difficult.]

[Rue understands completely, Casey. Like always, they are already on the same page.]

He has. Almost every time that we've spoken, his uncle eventually comes up. And it has only gotten worse with every conversation.

[A gradual decrease of Rue's opinion of the man until it just hit a point where it could go no lower.]

Though it has been a point we could bond over, as much as I wish that wasn't the case for him.

[There's another pause and some shuffling around, and the solid click of a door closing. Finally, Casey's tone is relieved when he speaks next, the worry of before still lingering.]

He's awful, right? He's awful. I never want to see him near Hunter again. I'd...

[Rip him apart, probably. Even if he's a powerful wizard. Powerful wizards still have throats. The owlbear part is new, but Casey's carried a violent streak for years back home, not afraid to show his teeth for his family. There's not been much reason to show it here before, and it's usually been unleashed against monsters.

...Belos is... a different kind of monster.]

I've- ...I've never hated someone I've never met before.

We are of exactly the same mind then.

[Rue has always prided themself on the natural ease of their patience and cool-headedness. They have so very rarely been baited into fury, and even less times sworn violence against another, but there is no doubt within their mind that they would sooner tear Belos' throat out before allowing him even a glance at their new son.]

I promised him before all of this, it must have been long before the fae ever began their procession, that I would do anything to protect him from that man. I vowed that Belos would never have him again. And I meant every word. Whatever happens, even if he should dare to show his face here, Hunter will remain free of him.

...Yeah. Good.

[He's not surprised that Rue is protective, but it's still nice to hear. He'd assumed from the start, when he found out they were on good terms, that Rue would throw down for Hunter just like he would. Knowing Rue has also taken Hunter in under their wing is deeply comforting. If Belos ever showed up, they could all face him together, and make sure he knows once and for all that he's never allowed to touch Hunter again.]

Things have been, um. Extra rough recently. It's why I don't want to go too far for a while. I promised I wouldn't leave him.

[That's a bit worrisome to hear, but Rue will tuck that particular worry away for a conversation on another day.]

He told me what he discovered. I imagine it has been very difficult for him, even just going by how little he's told me.

But Hunter is strong and he has support on all sides now. There is no doubt in my heart that he will not rise up from this again.

Edited 2023-11-27 08:06 (UTC)

He told you...?

[Maybe he shouldn't be surprised. Hunter had been so anxious about it, gratefully accepting reassurances that nothing had changed, that Casey didn't think differently of him. Maybe he couldn't accept the idea of being part of the family if he wasn't honest about what he was. Or maybe he needed to talk about it with someone who could support him further.]

Yeah, it's been... bad. All he ever had was his uncle. We read his journal together, and it was so much... he was so horrible. He's taking some time to figure out everything before we give it another try. I'm glad he has more than just me or Flapjack, though.

He did, at least the outline of what was discovered. I can not speak to how thorough an explanation he gave. To be quite honest, my focus was more on reassuring him that my feelings for him were unchanged and that he should only tell me if he truly felt like he could.

I did not want him to feel some pressure from within, as if he was keeping a secret from me. But still, he did choose to tell me of that nightmare he discovered. And you are quite right. That man was horrible.

[Understatement, but Casey knows exactly where Rue stands on that. (Murder.)]

And of course, he knows that he can come to me with anything, anytime. That is the difference from before, that he has a whole support system to reach out to. It's only that he's has had to deal with so much on his own before, so it may take some gentle reminding from us that alone is no longer his own option.

[Casey doesn't have any more to contribute to the what than Hunter, so he leaves that part alone. It doesn't matter to either of them, it seems, so the details are only important when it comes to helping Hunter anyway. He wants to read up on grimwalkers from a field medic perspective, but that's about it.

Though this is audio, he nods along with Rue's response, mulling it over. He didn't expect Rue to have pressured him (how could they know, anyway?) but if Hunter offered it up, he must really need to talk about things. Maybe he should broach the topic again, gently.]

I've noticed that. He's so confident about some things, like how he fights, but when it comes to personal stuff it's like he has no idea what it means to have someone care or help him. He asks if I'm sure about stuff when I offer, and... [He trails off briefly, then,] Oh. You were... really patient with me.

[That moment of powerful self awareness.]

Come now, Casey.

[Even through audio only, Rue can read just where this boy's mind is going.]

I hardly had to be patient with you. It was and still is a joy to help you where I can. Besides, you've come such a long way in such a short amount of time.

[And maybe this is a little too honest for most parents, but the one thing that Rue and Casey have always mutually agreed upon is open honesty.]

It has always been easy with you. I do not know why beyond our personalities being a perfect match for one another, but loving you has always been the very simplest thing for me. Even when you were struggling, though I worried, I felt I always knew what to say or how to help. I never once thought I might lose you. Being your parent has always just made sense.

[So put that self awareness away.]

As for Hunter, he will get there. I've experienced about the same with him - the uncertainty, the need for reassurances that he has friends who like him dearly - but those fears do not go away overnight. We must keep being patient with him, or at the very least, learn to redirect those questions. It is important to keep good boundaries, even with those you love.

Edited 2023-11-27 17:45 (UTC)

[....o-oh. And he hadn't actually been fishing for compliments. More like he'd been a breath away from apologizing, because he knows during his period of indecision about the adoption (and other times, besides) they'd had to reassure him multiple times that he was wanted and loved despite... well, everything. All he saw in himself that they did not. But instead it was all they saw in him that he did not. It's very humbling. He is quiet for a while after, slowly pacing the length of his bedroom, the relic held away from his face so he can sniff his way through this without crying. Again. It has always been easy with you.

...Okay, maybe he cries a little.

And then he coughs, he swallows, and he responds in perhaps a stronger tone than expected,]

That's... that's good. That's good! The feeling's mutual. Loving you has always been easy, too. I'm glad we can be, um. Like that. It means a lot, to be able to talk with you that easily.

[God but they are so much more eloquent than he is. That was. So much.]

What do you mean by... good boundaries?

[Rue doesn't say a word but Casey can no doubt feel the owlbear's smile through the device at that strong response. He is adorable.]

Sometimes the people we love ask more of us than we can possibly give. And even if their requests do feel possible, sometimes it puts you at a great inconvenience. It is kind to support your friends when possible, but it is also perfectly fine to say there are things outside of your comfort level or that you do not feel properly equipped to handle a particular scenario.

You could come see me today, but it makes more sense to put the trip off until later in the week when it does not interfere with your other plans, right? It is like that. Putting yourself first is not selfish. Relationships are about compromise on all levels.

[Casey is quiet again, thinking about that. It seems sensible. A part of him feels weird about agreeing, but it doesn't seem like the wrong thing to do, either. To be asked for more than what he can offer... is it not always a good thing, to sacrifice whatever it takes to help a loved one? It's kind of what they've always done.

....

Hm. It is kind of what they've always done. The whole, "it's not about me" practically carved into their hearts. That's... probably a sometimes lesson, not an always rule. And while venturing out of his comfort zone isn't necessarily a bad thing - he's had to do that plenty of times here - he's had to reach out for help because of not knowing how to handle something alone. From little things like needing school supply advice with Peter, to major issues like asking Rue for help with Leo, both the talk before and calling for their aid when he was wounded. He didn't necessarily like being unable to handle things alone, but it made the whole experience more palatable for him, when he lacks the knowledge or skills to handle it.

Still, it... feels like a lot, to be putting on Rue especially. They say they can handle it, and he doesn't doubt that, but...]

You'd... tell me, if it was really important, right? Even if I said I was busy? If you needed me there?

[Rue will be spending the next decade working the 'it's not about me' out of each one of these boys, they know it.

It is a tricky situation to handle at any age, though especially as a teen. Sometimes it feels utterly impossible to say no to the people you care the most for, but at the same time, not saying no can lead to unintentionally self-destructive behavior or that other person relies too much on them, which is just as unhealthy for everyone involved.]

Casey, it was only an example. I did not mean to make you worry. It just felt like a very recent comparison I could make. [And then because they realize they have not answered him, after a brief pause, Rue adds on,] I would.

Edited 2023-11-27 22:58 (UTC)

Okay... okay, good. I understand. I think.

[He'll work on it a bit. Boundaries... compromise. He doesn't think he's come up with that issue yet with Hunter, and examples with anyone else don't immediately come to memory, but maybe it'll be something he has to feel out in the moment. He'll try to keep that in mind, especially for the next time they poke at the bear that is Belos and his research. And especially when there's a chance it could get worse before things get better. There's still probably a lot they don't know. He doesn't want to screw things up, but he also doesn't want to push himself and end up making things worse in the long run.]

Is... there a good way to redirect? If he asks if we're sure, um... I guess if he keeps asking, then it's not as simple as saying yes... is there anything else I should do?

[Rue hums gently on the other end of the call.]

It is a process, do not feel bad if it takes some time to figure out. I only ask that you come to me when you need the help, especially with this turn in how things are going with Hunter. It is not that I doubt your capability, but there are some things that will go beyond what you and I can do. It is better for Hunter if we communicate and stay on the same page.

[They are still boys, no matter what they've been through. Sometimes the best thing to do is just get the parent involved. They will make it work, somehow.]

It may feel cruel to turn his question into another question, but when Hunter asks either of us if we mean what we say, we need to remember that it is not a reflection of his opinion on us. It is his own self-doubt taking voice. And self-doubt can only be truly soothed with self-reflection.

Turn his eyes inward. Ask him 'what can I do to make you feel more secure in our friendship?' or perhaps 'what do I say or do that makes you think I am only humoring you?'. Giving Hunter the power to look inside of himself and see why he is asking these questions can help empower him even more in the future.

Edited 2023-11-27 23:36 (UTC)

Oh... oh, that's really good.

[Yes he is WRITING THIS SHIT DOWN.]

So it's good if he answers the question himself... if we make it more about his feelings, how he views things. It's not that we did something wrong, it's that he's getting used to us doing something right. Or he needs to figure out what 'right' is for him, so we can do that instead. Less, "are you sure" and more, "why am I unsure."

[A pause, and then, with a somewhat disbelieving chuckle,]

Like- "it's not about me", but in a good way.

[For once!]

Exactly! That's right, Casey.

[Rue is going to smother him in love when he visits.]

Hunter is so used to the awful way he was treated by his uncle, that anything nice that we do must be a total shock to him. His feelings are completely valid, no one can blame him for how he is reacting to our kindness, but at the same, we are just stifling his growth if we do not give him the space he needs for it. We can be supportive and loving and still help him grow, all at the same time.

[It is validating to have his thoughts confirmed, thank goodness. He's trying to follow their lead, but he still only has halfway of an idea of what he's doing. To know that not approaching this problem in the right way could make it harder for Hunter helps a lot to make the concept sink in, though. That's the last thing he wants. If it creates a boundary for him (which is good) and helps Hunter to grow (which is also good) then it can only be a net gain. Right?]

I... hope we can do it. I really hope we can do okay. It's- [High pressure.] ...I'm worried. About screwing it up. It's been easy to say yes to everything because we like the same stuff so far, but... I don't want to...

[Ugh. He's probably worrying over nothing, but he can't take it back now. And it's new territory for him. Something about it feels different, like he wants to get it right every time, or he'll lose something precious he can't get back.]

What if I say no to the wrong thing, or disappoint him, and make him think about his uncle?

[Saying no to him is refusing him something he wants. And he deserves everything he wants now because he's had nothing. It really has been easy, so far. He's wanted to give and give. Is there ever going to be a moment where he can't? Where he doesn't want to?]

Hear my voice, Casey.

[A gentle pause, giving their boy a chance to focus on their words instead of his own spiraling thoughts.]

It is not a matter of if we can. It is only a matter of when. Neither you nor I plan on giving up on Hunter, so all three of us will make it through together. I promise you. It may take time, but that is time I know you and I are willing to give.

[There is always room for hope. This may be a pretty intense conversation for a young teen, but there is always hope at the end of it. Rue knows they will all be fine. Hunter is their son now and they will never leave him behind.]

Nothing you do will ever be on the same level of what his uncle did to him. That is not a fear you should even consider. However, there is always the possibility that we may get push back from Hunter. The best thing you can do is be honest with why you are saying no. The same way that we are asking Hunter to not frame his worries around us, we can not frame our boundaries around him.

Telling him 'you are too much' or 'your problems are stressing me out' would come off very cruel. Instead, you can simply say, 'I value our friendship and I know you need reassurance, but there are times when I’m unable to provide it immediately'. Or 'I care about you, but there are times I need some space. Why don't you talk to Rue?'

[Good call, and Casey does give himself a handful of seconds to breathe deeply and gather his thoughts. He's not trying to freak out about it, just...

...no, okay. No more spiralling in what-ifs. Rue is right- they'll manage it. Sooner, later, somehow. They're going to help Hunter believe in himself like they do. How is the hard part, but they're working on it.

He knows he'd never hurt Hunter the way Belos did... definitely not on purpose. Accidental hurts are more difficult to navigate, and he can only hope they've built enough trust between them that an accident like that would not be misinterpreted.]

That's not too dismissive? I think he'd understand, but... I don't want to disappoint him, either. It feels like he's been disappointed a lot in his life already.

[And he's felt disappointed in his life enough times to know it can be absolutely crushing, a slow drip of pain over time, like a chronic condition brought about by the world itself or those around you. At least for him, he was still loved, even during the times he'd felt let down by life. It was situational, not intentional.]

That's a very good question, little one.

[Casey is so thorough, so caring and attentive to those he loves.]

He may feel disappointed, yes, but there is nothing wrong or selfish about creating boundaries. They are not just to keep you safe, but to help him grow as well.

[There is a pause on Rue's end, a quill running over paper, before they continue.]

There's something else to.

Okay...

[He'll just... trust the process. See how it goes. Try his best and hope. (A ninja's greatest weapon. It's important to remember. He always needs to hope.)]

What is it?

Put some faith in Hunter.

[They let the words sink in before continuing.]

It's true that he may be in a very delicate position right now, so wounded and frightened after all he has been put through. But not too long ago, so were you and so was I. Hunter is stronger than I think you give him credit for. And that is no slight on you, Casey, you just care with your full heart and want to protect so fiercely. That's something else we have in common

[Like mother, like son.]

But Hunter is going to be just fine. What he needs most is not defending or coddling, he needs family. Family who will hold his hand and dry his tears when he needs us, but also encourage him to stand up for himself too. [a soft chuckle] Not that he won't have all of us behind him supporting him the whole time, but Hunter deserves that self-confidence to take the first step.

[Okay yeah he needs a second for that one. Intended slight or not, it does force him to rethink a few things. He genuinely doesn't want to be treating Hunter unfairly, or underestimating him. Is he coddling? Is he doing it too much? Or maybe he needs to rebalance one with the other so it isn't too much? Challenge him, but not push him too much, create comfortable boundaries without shutting him out, don't coddle but encourage him, believe in him without being unreasonable...

...This conversation is giving him so much to think about. Oh boy.]

He... he does deserve that. And I really don't want to make things harder for him. I don't want him to think that I think he's weak or anything. Um... [He's quiet for a long moment, then exhales.] I-I'll try to keep that in mind. Thank you.

[More than anything, he wants to be the best friend he can be. If his behaviour is anything less, then he'll adapt. He'll do better. Hunter deserves a chance to thrive, and under his own two feet. ]

These are some big concepts, Casey, things that I still struggle with, even in my old age. So I'm proud of you for working through them with me and asking questions when you needed to.

[It's a lot to put on anyone, but Rue knows that Casey has been getting so wrapped up in this nasty Belos plot, they want to help protect both boys as much as possible. This is a friendship that should continue to thrive, and with a little mindfulness, it will for years to come.]

I am only bringing them up because I know you want to be there to help Hunter heal from his past just as much as I do. So these are my suggestions on how we can help one another and him, all at once.

You've done nothing wrong so far, I should add. And none of this might even be necessary. But you are both my sons now and that means I will arm you with everything I have ever learned. Anything to make your lives better.

[He hesitates again. Then, very quietly,]

You don't think... I've done anything wrong?

[Rue. Rue, please, he's so worried. The feedback has been good but he's not peer-reviewed. And also he's 90% sure a small bird threatened to cut him.]

[!!!]

Well, not that I have seen, dearest. I think you have been an excellent friend thus far.

Are you fearful of something else I do not know?

...No... yes? Maybe... fearful isn't really...

[Give him a minute he needs to hem and haw over this one. The question isn't quite right but he knows that isn't all.]

Take your time to gather your thoughts. I am not going anywhere.

[Yeah, okay. He's going to do just that.

....

....

....

THIS IS HARD-]

Well- you know how in our family we're really touchy? Like, it's how we show love. So I'm like that with Hunter. But he's really antsy about it, and it's pretty obvious no one did that before, and Belos hurt him, so I've tried to slow down or let him decide if it's okay or not. I think he likes it? But he's so jumpy, and I don't want to freak him out, and sometimes he freaks out if I do touch him even when he says he likes it and- [DEEP BREATH] I don't really know what I'm doing, I think Flapjack might kill me if I screw this up?

[oh no. those were too many thoughts.]

[Casey!!! How are you so completely darling? Rue loves this boy so much.]

May I offer a suggestion, little cub?

...please do...

[He regrets so much.]

I know it may feel like an extra step when all of us are so very touch-focused, but the very simplest thing you can do is ask him every single time. Or simply hold your hand out and wait to see if he decides to take it.

Giving Hunter the power to choose and the time to prepare himself is the kindest thing you can give him. And then it may be all the more obvious if he begins reaching out for you instead.

Oh. Yeah, I've been... doing that.

[He'll just have to get better about it. Yes. He'll get much better at it. That's the new goal. Be the best ever at Hunter hugs.]

Then you have nothing to worry about, love. Just keep asking, every single time. I will continue to do the same, then he'll never feel too startled with either of us.

Which will only make it easier as he continues to make more friends.

Okay... okay.

[Bless his clueless heart, he has no idea why this relationship makes him extra anxious, but he trusts Rue's advice and instincts on this, so his tone is able to settle a little bit as their words sink in.]

Thank you for listening. -And for everything else.

You know I always have time for you.

[Nothing and no one matters as much as their kids.]

Is there anything else on your mind? Any other minor fires I can put out?

[Little tease.]

N-no! No fires... um...

[The tease works like a charm, getting him flustered, though not enough for him to seek an escape. He kind of deserved that.]

...Can I come over tomorrow? After school?

This is your home, you never need to ask.

But didn't later in the week work better for you? Are you certain everything is well?

Nothing's wrong! Tomorrow's later in the week...

[In fairness he doesn't sound like he's lying. And he is a very bad liar.]

[mmm mom senses are lighting up]

Then I'd be so happy to see you! You will likely be hungry after your long day of learning, so I will have an after school snack waiting for you. :)

Okay, sounds good. I'll bring something from Thoth, too.

[Maybe some new cocoa mix or spices from the residential area around the school...]

Thanks, Mom. See you tomorrow.

See you then, dearest.

[a special gift and a visit!! rue could not be happier]

Hob is here.

[ !!!!!!!!!! ]

OMG

congrats!!!

thats amazing!!

<3 <3 <3

[wait

that was a disturbing lack of excitement in their first message.]

IS it good?

does he remember

tell me if you're happy

I am. :) I promise you that I am very happy.

He does not remember, but I will hardly complain if that means he is here with us.

oh. well I'm glad you're happy!

by not remember do you mean at all? or ADI, or getting married?

[Look he'll support them for everything else but that option in particular is one he has a vested interest in, because being forgotten entirely is really awful and not something one should have to endure alone-]

He remembers me from the Feywild and our engagement there, and then even further from that, he knows of the life that we supposedly lived past when I arrived to ADI.

But he does not remember that place.

[or the wedding]

oh. that's still a lot, I'm sorry

I'm glad he's here though, and that he knows and loves you

maybe we can have a huge wedding here instead!

just marry him a dozen times

[only casey could get them laughing like this]

That WOULD be very fae of us.

Thank you, my heart. I imagine there may be some obstacles ahead of us still, but I will not forget the gift that I have been given of even seeing him again. We will be just fine.

I only need you and the other boys to meet him and then my heart will be settled!

[Eat that Donnie WHO'S THE FUNNY ONE NOW]

I know. but just say the word if you ever want to talk about this stuff

and tell me when you're done monopolizing him, you know I'll be there in a heartbeat :)

How dare you! I would never!

He is simply getting used to this realm. There's much I'm teaching him, he does not even know about texting!

:P

maybe don't let him text with Leo for a while then lol

We are of the same mind! He must learn to speak Leo first before they ever text. :)

Hope he adapts to the prospect of unexpected fatherhood too. Of, uh. Many.

Now that shall be the true test!

But my darling, just because I am your mother does not mean you must accept Hob without knowing him as a parent of your own. I know you already know this, you hardly need my nagging reminder, but there is no pressure on my end. Not ever.

Yeah, I know.

I said it halfway as a joke, but also kind of a ??? thought. Like it's complicated. I don't remember my mom, and no one else had one that they know of. So you being Mom isn't as dramatic I think. But besides Hunter we all have dads. Had. Even if it's not replacing them, it might still be a hard title to share.

So we'll see, I guess! That's where I'm at.

Do not fret over it at all, little cub. If one day you feel the title fits, then we can discuss it then. But there is no expectation from either me that you see him as a father or a step-father at all.

Though I do hope, one day, you may think of him as family. :)

Family's easy. It doesn't take long to consider someone family.

Case in point I guess.

[2 month speedrun for him to call them family at the lake. He's not even the fastest now. Rue really is just so loving and welcoming it's hard to resist the pull.]

[okay but consider rue said yes to hob's proposal after knowing him a week. Two months is almost a marathon in comparison!]

I hope you will like him.

Edited 2023-12-03 04:02 (UTC)

If you like him, he must be great. So I'm sure I'll like him too.

I hope he likes me!

If he does not, he will need a new spouse.

Edited 2023-12-03 04:09 (UTC)

uh-oh. better give him some time before you jump right to that step :P

No one shall disrespect my son like that.

:) :) :)

[RIP hob, you better love him immediately]

is it disrespectful to not like someone, or is it just terrible taste

Yes.

lol okay okay

I'll be on my best behaviour then and give him the best chance of not getting dumped

Thank you, darling. ♡

I'll make sure you both have time together soon.

I'll look forward to it.

Until then, have fun :) love you

And I love you!

[time to go gush about how wonderful casey is to hob]

Casey, hey!

Do you still want to make latkes together? We can make enough for everyone to share too. I kind of went overboard in getting potatoes and onions.

[!!!]

Yes, I'd love to!

Do you want me to haul what I have down to you, or do you want to come up here?

Trust me, if I bring it down your place will smell like potatoes for a while.

I don't see a downside to that, I like potatoes.

[It's food, and it isn't leaves or rats or wasabi, so of course he likes it.]

I'll come to you, though, if you don't mind doing it at your place. No sense in dragging it around if we're just going to cook it.

Hopefully when you take all the latkes home, it'll make everything smell like potatoes, lol.

Works for me. I'll leave the door unlocked, so come on in. I'll try to get everything prepped.

OK! be there in a few.

[Sure enough a few minutes later there's a knock to the door before it opens and Casey wanders in.]

I'm here! -Whoa, I can smell them already.

[At the sound of Casey walking in, and his voice carrying, Peter peeks out of the kitchen. The teenager has rolled up his sleeves, and donned the apron Rue had given him in preparation for cooking.]

Oh yeah! I made a few test batches, to be sure I knew what I was doing. I figured that was way more reassuring than me blindly hoping it'd work.

[Casey joins him in the kitchen, brows lifted as he takes in the sight. How very official...]

You happy with how they turned out, then?

[Unfortunately for Casey, he's stuck with another scientist.]

Yeah, but, I know together we'll make even better ones. Mine is missing just a little something, I think.

[Unfortunate, as if Casey isn't all-in.]

Did you figure out what it was?

Not yet, that is where you come in! [This cooking session is definitely turning a little bit into mad science.]

Okay, lets- grab you an apron real quick.

[Somehow not at all disturbed by the idea of getting into mad science.]

Oh, I need that?

[Hi he's never used one before. That sure was an apocalypse luxury.]

Yeah! The oil is going to pop, so you'll need the protection. [Peter is already moving to grab a spare apron he has on hand, its less personalized than the one Rue gave him, but it definitely has a very silly looking spatula pattern across it. He walks back over to Casey to hold it out to the other teen.]

Oh, that makes sense. Like a welding cape.

[He'll go ahead and put that on the way Peter's wearing his. All set to not get burned!]

Not sure what you're expecting me to add to it, though. I've never made them before.

I mean, I did a lot of guess work, so, its pretty much free real estate. [The meme quote pops out of him casually.] We could try a seasoning if you wanted or add more onion, that kinda thing.

Real estate...?

[wtf is that]

You'll probably have to guide me a little bit there. I'm still learning what seasoning even is.

[His palate is sensitive and he's... adjusting, and getting better each time. But he doesn't know what all the spices are yet, so it's a slow process.]

Oh, I was quoting a meme. [How does he even explain this] I need to actually find that gif, if it even exists here to show you, otherwise it sounds like gibberish? But, uh, real estate is like buildings and stuff, but houses people buy.

Yeah, of course. Lemme just- [He's going to move back to what he's been doing. There are already some blended potato and onion.] I did the harder part since I figured you'd wanna jump in with shaping the latkes.

[Well at least he knows memes. (As a concept, anyway. He doesn't know a lot of them.)]

How do you shape them?

[He has yet to see an actual latke, so he's not sure how to start, though he follows Peter over, eager to learn.]

They're like little pancakes, or pucks, essentially. We want them to be flat, but still have substance to them.

[Peter gestures over at a bowl of potatoes, eggs and onions he's already put together.] Just grab like a handful for each one and make a few pancakes. I'll get the oil pan hot.

Oh! I can do pancakes.

[He has not seen pucks yet. Or cat food tins, as Power described them. But he can totally get to work carefully shaping the mixture into potato pancake slices.]

Just let me know if I need to redo any.

[Peter drifts over to the pan, starting to pour oil into it and get a fire going under it.]

That's kind of one of the best parts of latkes, they don't need to be perfect. So, don't worry about it. You just kind of have to get your hands in there and make it happen.

Whenever we run out of this batch, we can see if you want to tackle like the rest of making the latkes, this is the more fun part honestly.

[The cheesecloth nearby is a reminder of where a lot of this started.]

[He has no idea what a cheesecloth even is. He's in for it now.]

If they don't need to be perfect, why did you make so many ahead of time?

[His expression is very obviously playful. Also it's a good thing perfection isn't required, because he's making very imperfect pancakes.]

[Peter snorts a little at the tease.]

In my defense, I was working off really vague memories of how to make it. Since the last time I made this, it was with my uncle when I was like... thirteen.

Wow, ancient history.

[Still playful, but this time with an air of understanding. Five years ago feels like a huge gap of time for him, too. That was before he'd even met Raph (that he remembers, at least, the previous meeting being way too long back).]

How come it was so long ago?

[Peter's attention is on the oil, so his words are absent.] My uncle died in an accident. After that, it kind of just stopped.

[His attention flicks back to Casey.]

Tell me when you're ready, and I'll pitch these on here. We can do a test one, eat it if its not perfect, then put the rest in as we go.

O-oh. I'm sorry.

[Trying... not to be awkward. He'd stepped in it, and dead uncles are kind of a sore spot for him. Peter's taking it in stride, though, so Casey tries to focus on the latkes, sliding a collection of pancake shapes towards him.]

Are these okay? I'll keep making more.

[Peter is sparing both of them the discomfort of this kind of conversation. Peter isn't unaware both of them might have some emotional baggage here.]

Keep making some and we'll put these in. [Peter accepts the plate, moving to pick up the first one with some tongs, carefully placing the latke into the oil.

Predictably it begins popping.]

[Casey has the sense to keep far enough to avoid getting burned, but that doesn't stop him from peering over and watching it sizzle away.]

Whoa. That's some high-speed boiling...

Honestly, it's always a little weirdly fast. It makes me wonder how this place works. Does magic amplify everything or do standard laws of reality apply to this space? [Uh-oh, nerd time.]

The latkes will pop a lot because of the oil, but when its a certain color I'll get them out of the pan. [Taking the proverbial oil bullet for Casey.]

This world exists kind of outside of time and space, right? So it makes sense that the time and space within it would be atypical.

[Oh no, there's two of them.]

Careful not to burn yourself! We're cooking latkes, not spider people.

But, it brings all of us in, and in theory we're all effecting its internal workings. Thirteen also relies on us to essentially add to the magic as far as I can tell with our full potential... So, I genuinely wonder if its atypical or our presences and perspectives like alter that any.

[Nerding intensifies.]

I've burnt myself before, so, wouldn't be the first or last time.

["I've burnt myself before" going on the list of less-than-reassuring responses, thanks Peter.]

Is that why they give us some kind of role that makes us, like, inherently magic you think? Because if we're supposed to add to the magic, bringing in people like me would be kind of pointless otherwise.

[On account of literally never having magic before.]

[To cook, one must be burned at least a few times.]

Maybe? Its a really good theory honestly. We're changed when we come here into us, but slightly more magically inclined. It makes me wonder if we're just using Thirteen's own magic to propel things forward, or if she gave us a part of her magic to create our own as we get stronger?

[The latkes are definitely popping in the oil, but Peter is keeping an eye on the pan.]

[Casey tilts his head curiously at that.]

I just realized I don't usually see you with any kind of role traits. You don't use them?

Mine just kind of... happen when they happen-? [Peter admits with an embarrassed shrug. He really should figure out more specifics about his role and their traits.] When I'm really happy about something I know my wings and halo show up.

Huh... I guess it really is different for everybody.

[Probably good? It would suck if they all showed up and were stripped of their individuality or something.]

Every person is different, so, I would kind of guess magic would manifest differently for them. [Peter muses idly back, his halo slowly taking shape behind his head as he lets his mind wander of it. Curiosity is strong enough emotion to make the magic flourish.

His attention flicks from the latkes to find a utensil to flip them over.]

[Casey watches that halo appear in his peripheral, trying not to stare lest he accidentally startle it away or something. Besides Rue's, he hasn't seen many, so call him curious.]

The same kind of goes for familiars, too. Like, why did I get a pangolin? Why did Leo get a weasel thing? There's probably a reason, but it isn't like we get a manual when it happens.

Thirteen really just wants us to figure things out, I guess? Which, sure can be freeing, but, it's just as confusing. Maybe even scary for some people. [Indulging his scientific curiosity just makes the wite web pattern pulse and ripple.

Peter finds a pair of tongs, giving the latke a flip. The color is just right, a golden brown.]

[Trying...! not...! to stare....!]

No kidding. Um. I kind of freaked out the first time I changed, I had no idea what to do, and I couldn't change back for like an hour. I couldn't even walk!

[Peter gets oil popped at him. It splashes against his hand and he can't help but make a face.

His halo dims slightly. The web pattern stops moving as large black lined eyes similar to those Casey has seen on Peter's mask appear, narrowing in seeming displeasure before disappearing again. He wipes his hand on his apron.

Peter is wholly unaware of the sightless eyes appearing in his halo, just fixated on talking with Casey.]

Honestly, I feel like Thirteen should give a little more advice to Familiar's. Turning into a whole new shape is so jarring. Until you talk to another familiar, you have no idea why or how it's happening.

[That's so trippy. Does Peter even know? He's acting no different. He doesn't know, does he.

Fascinating tbh-]

I think it'd be nice if we at least got a memo on the animal. I didn't even know what I was for three weeks.

[Peter snorts a little at that, his halo dimming slightly.]

To be fair, you do turn into kind of an obscure animal? Most people just turn into cats or dogs around here, or some variation of that shape. I think it depends on the person.

[Casey makes a noise at that, finally shifting his gaze back to forming latkes.]

Me and Rue watched some documentaries on them. They're obscure because they're hunted... in the past, they were endangered, and in my time definitely all gone. It reminded me of one time as a kid, I asked Master Michelangelo if we were going extinct.

[The latke he'd been forming breaks in his hand, and he frowns, trying again.]

Maybe I'm a pangolin because I'm the last one... from my world.

[But that's a little cruel, isn't it?]

[Peter carefully uses the tongs to fish out the test latkes, moving to set them on a metal cooling rack. So far the potatoes are holding shape pretty well.]

Maybe...? [The eyes blink back on his halo as Peter looks back at Casey. Peter's brows pinch together. The large Spider-Man mask like eyes seem to stare through Casey.]

Or, it might be because you're a survivor. There aren't many left, yeah, but, there are still some pangolin's. They're still here. They'll survive with help.

The Krang wanted you gone, but you out lasted them. With help you survived.

[Peter rubs the back of his neck with a free hand, suddenly a little embarrassed. His halo blinks out entirely.] Sorry, that... probably was dumb.

Isn't that kind of the same thing?

[It isn't, and he knows it. There's a cynicism to what he said. Peter's version sounds more hopeful.

A ninja's greatest weapon. He was the hope that sensei sent into the past. He'd needed help to survive there, to save the world. It does fit.

He exhales quietly, setting down the last poorly shaped latke. Maybe he needs a little break from that, his hands are untrustworthy right now.]

...It's not dumb. It's a nicer way of thinking about it. I'm sorry for being such a downer.

No, you're allowed to feel however you want, Casey. [Peter says simply back, moving to click the fire off under the oil. He can reheat it easily enough.

He can guess Casey maybe wants a bit of a break for a moment given the exhale and squashed latke.]

Do you want like a drink or something? I went overboard in making snacks for the party too, if you want to test run one of those.

Oh, ah... sure, yeah. Throw whatever you want at me, I can take it.

[-That sounds like he thinks Peter's about to poison him. Not the plan.]

...Or, you know. Anything's fine.

I promise you, Casey, nothing is poisonous. Just very Jewish. [Peter jokes very lightly back in an attempt to help Casey relax.] Wash up real quick, it's mostly finger food.

[Peter gives Casey an out to wash up and maybe cool down a little as Peter himself moves towards the fridge.

He grabs a small plate on the way over from the rack of dry dishes. Peter deposits at least two apricot triangles and one smaller sufganiyot. He brings the plate back over.] I guess you get to tell me if these are alright or if I should just stick to latkes.

Edited (WOW WTF HAPPENED TO MY SPACING) 2023-12-31 22:05 (UTC)

I don't expect poison-!

[But okay, okay, he deserved that joke. He quickly washes his hands, then peers over at the plate. They look kinda... dusty? (Has he had icing sugar yet? Today's the day.) Still, he'll never not try something, so he wastes no time eating one, and then the other. ...Yeah that third one isn't staying on the plate for long.]

Delicious!

[Which is what he'd say even if they were mediocre because he doesn't really know any better, so maybe know your audience, Pete. But they're probably fine.]

[At worst, both treats are a little too sweet at the moment, but still competently made. Obviously first tries at both recipes.]

Thank you, I'm- really glad you like them. [He's relieved since he's still figuring things out.]

Are you bringing these to the party, too?

[Because he should, they're tasty as heck. Casey's licking his fingers now.]

Yeah, I figured they'd be fun to have alongside the rest of the food. [Peter answers back easily, maybe doling out another dessert for Casey.] It's like, traditional cultural family recipes for me anyway.

[That dessert also disappears in record time.]

This makes me want to look up Japanese desserts.

[Casey Jones, dessert eater extraordinaire.]

You should, cause that'd definitely be cool. The only Japanese dessert I've ever had was like ice cream mochi from the grocery store. I don't know if that even counts.

[Given enough practice he will become a pro.

Also he's licking that sugar off his fingers so he can fish out his relic and take some notes. Mochi...]

Feels like, if you're going for fancy desserts, homemade is the way to do it. Cookies from the store don't taste the same as fresh baked.

[Check out this fool, 5 months out of the apocalypse and he's some kind of connoisseur.]

Only counter argument I have for that is if its a specialty store or something. Outside of that, most store bought stuff is mass produced and not as good. [Peter is really up here just encouraging Casey's hot takes. Connoisseur Jones In The House.]

[Oh no, a new category has entered his awareness.]

What counts as specialty...?

Like... the person went to culinary school and only makes this kind of specialized food? Like macarons or a special kind of pie? May and I used to see a lot of those shops, but never went in since they were super expensive back in New York.

[....

Adds 'macaron' alongside mochi to his notes. That one's a new word.]

We can probably afford just about anything here, if we find any specialty stores.

[Time for Casey to become dessert connoisseur. New arc unlocked.]

True, I just got used to thinking of them as 'Boujee', y'know? [Peter pauses, realizing Casey probably has no idea what that means.] It's slang, for like- when someone buys something they can't afford to look rich. It's a whole thing.

[....

Also adds "boo-gee??" to his list.]

That's weird. Aren't people allowed to treat themselves?

They are, it's just... more a commentary on people wanting to seem really rich for status, even though they had no money for what they really need? It's very New York.

...How long do you think it's gonna take for me to get used to real society...

[There is so much he doesn't understaaaaand.]

Probably a while. Like... a good while. [He seems apologetic about Casey needing to deal with any of it at all.] I'm sure being here will help make it a lot less jarring?

I guess this is a lot gentler of an intro to normal life than jumping right into New York City.

Yeah, you're probably going to get your bearings a lot faster here. More control, less- New York. [He has no idea how to describe New York in a way that isn't a tangent about how much he loves the chaotic messy place it is.]

I don't know what that means, but it worries me.

[New York please have mercy.]

[Peter can't help but laugh a little at that.] It's a lot, but you'll get it. New York is so diverse and all over the place, you'll just need to be you and pick up things along the way.

You should lead with that next time!

[He's nervous, but he's not too worried at least.]

Hey, I didn't know I needed to lead in with anything. [He protests with another laugh.]

Consider yourself informed.

hey cj got a q

sure what's up?

prob not smth u thot about b4 so no shame if u dont have answer
when it comes to dating / 💘 whats ur prefs
guy girl both neither ?

[Leo's shortform is not always second nature to him, but even for Casey that one is pretty straightforward. Hmm.]

no I didn't think about it much

I guess no preference? people were really fast and loose with that kind of thing so that was normal

ok but thats other ppl
think about it some and get back 2 me

no no I mean

not just other people but also me? I'm in that group. I didn't notice much back home bc there weren't that many kids my age. there's lots here so its kind of new, but I understand that feeling better now

does that make sense

oooo
yyyyy got it
whats ur type anyway
didnt kno u were fast & loose too lookit u

[wait

ABORT ABORT]

I meant I was no preference not uhhh

not fast & loose that's like. god, phrasing

its just all that stuff matters way less when the world is ending, right? societys been trashed, just love whoever you want. or sleep with whoever.

actually forget i said anything

idk what my type is. cute nerds who dont care if I'm a disaster of a human being

[That is so so specific and he is sus on that, but good news for Hunter.]

it frightens me sometimes how alike u and i are

what

oh

you too?

[Peter is indeed a cute nerd who doesn't seem to care about Leo's disaster tendencies.]

vague gesture at peter
y me too

how do you know if it's a type you like a lot or that just happens to be what you like at the time?

[Master Miyamoto was definitely tolerant of disaster but he's not what Casey would describe as a nerd. Maybe a samurai nerd? Depends on how sensei defined nerd, maybe.]

idk
u just kinda get used to a vibe u like
what does or doesnt annoy you
what u enjoy bein around more
what makes u happy
what calms u down
i dont kno nerd stuff but hearing petes talk about stuff he cares about brings me down sometimes
u just kinda figure it out as u go

ohhh. ok. not just them but how they mesh with you. yeah ok

[Feels kind of like he's going down a list and checking things off. All of those... definitely fit.]

thank you, that helps a lot

can I ask you kind of a sensitive q

absolutely
hit me

in the future there were so few of us left it didnt matter, but things could be different here

what do you do if there are issues with you not being the same? either bc hes human or youre a mutant. does that make it harder or is it ok?

gonna b real w u
im still figuring that out myself
i mean if anyone cares but the 2 of u fuck em
but i kno feelings are stupid weird sometimes

feelings ARE stupid weird, yeah
everything seems so much more complicated in the past
that's a very leo answer though :) thank you, that helps.
& if anyone gives you grief the rest of us can say fuck u too

yeah i mean
995 of humans dont kno we exist
so learning curve is p high on that front
but
ur both good kids ull figure it out

[....both good kids...

...both good...

....]

we're talking about me again?

yeah who else ?

I thought you!

we started this talking ab u
lets not get sidetracked
sounds like u got smth on ur mind about it

[sensei is doing that thing, he can smell it]

ok well
i'll go first and if it's relevant circle back

are you asking for hunter?

his whole face goes red when he talks about u its cute

[SWEATS]

he does that when he talks WITH me

its incredibly cute

unbelievably
if i didnt have peter id say competition
but ur gucci
and i only have 1 hand now so jajajaja
was the him bein a witch what ur worried ab?

[Thank god, Leo could absolutely have swept anybody he wanted off their feet, there'd be no competition-]

actually it was more me being human
he said mutants and witches get together all the time so the human part is the weird part
so I wasn't sure

[Maybe in some other universe with life or death game scenarios and cults, love can bloom on the battlefield-]

o
dont even sweat it then
hed be stupid to think thats weird

I don't even mind if it's weird I just don't want to make things hard for him
stuff's hard enough already
anyway he walked it back w/ regards to me right away so

walked it back
well
w/e
im here to help

[Leo you haven't even ASKED if Casey's interested let alone wants to date him-]

[just accepting of his fate at this point.]

isn't it a good thing that he did?

did u want him 2 walk it back ?

like I said I don't want it to be hard for him
if it's not weird if it's me he's spending time with, that's better, right
even tho i'm human

ur thinkin 2 hard ab it
if u like each other
and wanna figure it out
figure it out 2gether

also thats a good song lyric and im keeping it donut steal

lol because I'm such a songwriter
you're right tho
I just want to do this right. he deserves good things

how do I be a good boyfriend??

be considerate
look after each other
idk
i dont kno him that well so i cant give the personalized plan of action here
but
make sure he knos hes valued and cared about

that's kind of how to be a good friend
I guess its right there in the name tho
so keep doing that, ok

exactly y
u get it

Anything boyfriend specific I should know?

find out what he likes to eat and keep it handy

really? thats so simple

theres a lot of lil things
but just
paying attention
finding out what they like is important
doesnt have to be food
could be anything

little things, important things
ok. ok I think I understand, thank you

hey uh 1 more question
any suggestions on a really cool way to ask someone out

[Definitely not the way he and Peter did it back at ADI.]

ok so 1 time i was watching this romcom dont remember the name dont care but the guy had been thirsting after this girl for like months and he didnt know the girl had been thirsting for him for months too theyd both just moved to town and lived in the same building so they were discovering the city together for the first time and had a really great friendship and anyway so he decided at xmas to decorate their favorite place they found while exploring the city together and had her fav snack and flowers and asked her out there and it was real soft and i cried a bajillion tears because he didnt kno it was the anniversary of her dads death so it was extra sentimental and she was glad to not b alone and admitted shed bee ncrushing on him for ages so they started dating and lived happy ever after

[....

....

....]

please try to remember the name!!

o did u wanna watch itand cry 2 ?
i get it its cathardick

[...cathardick...]

i dont know how to decorate for xmas ive never done it before!

& i cry enough as it is tbh

but yes i would like to watch it

well figure it out
and decorate for xmas promise
its fun ull ♥ it

ok
thank you
I mean it i really appreciate you so much
thanks for looking after me

ofc
ur hamato ur fam
we look out for each other

that's twice now
you really mean it don't you?
that im hamato

[you're gonna make this kid cry again and you don't even know it.]

wouldnt say it if i didnt mean it

idk if you know what that means to me
thank you!

ofc
and
idk if i ever said it
but thanks for saving my life the other week

you don't have to thank me for that
but you're welcome, and thank you for saving me too

then were even stevens
lit

whos stevens

no idea but i kno theyre even

just gonna add that to the list of english stuff I don't understand and probably never will

theres a lot dont worry too much about it

I won't. my head is too full of slang

and it'll stay that way

You have [1] grouptext invitation.

[Christmas Eve, Casey has a package delivered (and one for Hunter as well). Inside is: a polaroid camera with about 100count film included. There is also one (1) nicely framed photo of him and Hunter from the holiday party, dressed up at the son corner decked out and looking at each other smiling. It's a nice shot and one Leo clearly took a lot of thought to get for them.]

Edited 2023-12-23 03:34 (UTC)

[You can't see it through the text but of course he is crying.]

Leo!! thank you!!! you were watching!? I'm so embarrassed but also thank you thank you what a great photo

yw yw no problem
had to keep an eye on u kids saw a great shot

[Oh CJ's def crying huh.]

[crying SO much.]

what's your verdict so far, we doing ok

cute af
great start

ty ty ty

My darling Casey,
Happy holidays to the most compassionate and generous young man I know.
What a wild five months it has been. To think we've only know one another for a mere blink of my lifetime, and yet no one has ever left a mark as indelible as you have upon me.
Of all the things my paws have ever held, the best by far has been you. You may outgrow my lap, but you will never outgrow my heart. Please believe in yourself as much as I believe in you. I can not wait to see the kind of man you grow up to be. I promise to be right there at your side the entire time.
Here's to the first year of many together. I love you endlessly.
Affectionately yours,
Mom

Edited 2023-12-25 07:10 (UTC)

[ There's a box on Casey's doorstep. Inside that box, is another box. And another box is inside that box. And so on and so forth, until he reaches the smallest box in this nesting situation. Inside that box is a mask, designed to look like Casey's usual mask. But, it's been upgraded to have shielding tech that will protect the wearer's entire head and neck area. "For one of the bravest kid I know. ~TS" ]

folkmore IC contact

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text, same day

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