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We are of exactly the same mind then.

[Rue has always prided themself on the natural ease of their patience and cool-headedness. They have so very rarely been baited into fury, and even less times sworn violence against another, but there is no doubt within their mind that they would sooner tear Belos' throat out before allowing him even a glance at their new son.]

I promised him before all of this, it must have been long before the fae ever began their procession, that I would do anything to protect him from that man. I vowed that Belos would never have him again. And I meant every word. Whatever happens, even if he should dare to show his face here, Hunter will remain free of him.

...Yeah. Good.

[He's not surprised that Rue is protective, but it's still nice to hear. He'd assumed from the start, when he found out they were on good terms, that Rue would throw down for Hunter just like he would. Knowing Rue has also taken Hunter in under their wing is deeply comforting. If Belos ever showed up, they could all face him together, and make sure he knows once and for all that he's never allowed to touch Hunter again.]

Things have been, um. Extra rough recently. It's why I don't want to go too far for a while. I promised I wouldn't leave him.

[That's a bit worrisome to hear, but Rue will tuck that particular worry away for a conversation on another day.]

He told me what he discovered. I imagine it has been very difficult for him, even just going by how little he's told me.

But Hunter is strong and he has support on all sides now. There is no doubt in my heart that he will not rise up from this again.

Edited 2023-11-27 08:06 (UTC)

He told you...?

[Maybe he shouldn't be surprised. Hunter had been so anxious about it, gratefully accepting reassurances that nothing had changed, that Casey didn't think differently of him. Maybe he couldn't accept the idea of being part of the family if he wasn't honest about what he was. Or maybe he needed to talk about it with someone who could support him further.]

Yeah, it's been... bad. All he ever had was his uncle. We read his journal together, and it was so much... he was so horrible. He's taking some time to figure out everything before we give it another try. I'm glad he has more than just me or Flapjack, though.

He did, at least the outline of what was discovered. I can not speak to how thorough an explanation he gave. To be quite honest, my focus was more on reassuring him that my feelings for him were unchanged and that he should only tell me if he truly felt like he could.

I did not want him to feel some pressure from within, as if he was keeping a secret from me. But still, he did choose to tell me of that nightmare he discovered. And you are quite right. That man was horrible.

[Understatement, but Casey knows exactly where Rue stands on that. (Murder.)]

And of course, he knows that he can come to me with anything, anytime. That is the difference from before, that he has a whole support system to reach out to. It's only that he's has had to deal with so much on his own before, so it may take some gentle reminding from us that alone is no longer his own option.

[Casey doesn't have any more to contribute to the what than Hunter, so he leaves that part alone. It doesn't matter to either of them, it seems, so the details are only important when it comes to helping Hunter anyway. He wants to read up on grimwalkers from a field medic perspective, but that's about it.

Though this is audio, he nods along with Rue's response, mulling it over. He didn't expect Rue to have pressured him (how could they know, anyway?) but if Hunter offered it up, he must really need to talk about things. Maybe he should broach the topic again, gently.]

I've noticed that. He's so confident about some things, like how he fights, but when it comes to personal stuff it's like he has no idea what it means to have someone care or help him. He asks if I'm sure about stuff when I offer, and... [He trails off briefly, then,] Oh. You were... really patient with me.

[That moment of powerful self awareness.]

Come now, Casey.

[Even through audio only, Rue can read just where this boy's mind is going.]

I hardly had to be patient with you. It was and still is a joy to help you where I can. Besides, you've come such a long way in such a short amount of time.

[And maybe this is a little too honest for most parents, but the one thing that Rue and Casey have always mutually agreed upon is open honesty.]

It has always been easy with you. I do not know why beyond our personalities being a perfect match for one another, but loving you has always been the very simplest thing for me. Even when you were struggling, though I worried, I felt I always knew what to say or how to help. I never once thought I might lose you. Being your parent has always just made sense.

[So put that self awareness away.]

As for Hunter, he will get there. I've experienced about the same with him - the uncertainty, the need for reassurances that he has friends who like him dearly - but those fears do not go away overnight. We must keep being patient with him, or at the very least, learn to redirect those questions. It is important to keep good boundaries, even with those you love.

Edited 2023-11-27 17:45 (UTC)

[....o-oh. And he hadn't actually been fishing for compliments. More like he'd been a breath away from apologizing, because he knows during his period of indecision about the adoption (and other times, besides) they'd had to reassure him multiple times that he was wanted and loved despite... well, everything. All he saw in himself that they did not. But instead it was all they saw in him that he did not. It's very humbling. He is quiet for a while after, slowly pacing the length of his bedroom, the relic held away from his face so he can sniff his way through this without crying. Again. It has always been easy with you.

...Okay, maybe he cries a little.

And then he coughs, he swallows, and he responds in perhaps a stronger tone than expected,]

That's... that's good. That's good! The feeling's mutual. Loving you has always been easy, too. I'm glad we can be, um. Like that. It means a lot, to be able to talk with you that easily.

[God but they are so much more eloquent than he is. That was. So much.]

What do you mean by... good boundaries?

[Rue doesn't say a word but Casey can no doubt feel the owlbear's smile through the device at that strong response. He is adorable.]

Sometimes the people we love ask more of us than we can possibly give. And even if their requests do feel possible, sometimes it puts you at a great inconvenience. It is kind to support your friends when possible, but it is also perfectly fine to say there are things outside of your comfort level or that you do not feel properly equipped to handle a particular scenario.

You could come see me today, but it makes more sense to put the trip off until later in the week when it does not interfere with your other plans, right? It is like that. Putting yourself first is not selfish. Relationships are about compromise on all levels.

[Casey is quiet again, thinking about that. It seems sensible. A part of him feels weird about agreeing, but it doesn't seem like the wrong thing to do, either. To be asked for more than what he can offer... is it not always a good thing, to sacrifice whatever it takes to help a loved one? It's kind of what they've always done.

....

Hm. It is kind of what they've always done. The whole, "it's not about me" practically carved into their hearts. That's... probably a sometimes lesson, not an always rule. And while venturing out of his comfort zone isn't necessarily a bad thing - he's had to do that plenty of times here - he's had to reach out for help because of not knowing how to handle something alone. From little things like needing school supply advice with Peter, to major issues like asking Rue for help with Leo, both the talk before and calling for their aid when he was wounded. He didn't necessarily like being unable to handle things alone, but it made the whole experience more palatable for him, when he lacks the knowledge or skills to handle it.

Still, it... feels like a lot, to be putting on Rue especially. They say they can handle it, and he doesn't doubt that, but...]

You'd... tell me, if it was really important, right? Even if I said I was busy? If you needed me there?

[Rue will be spending the next decade working the 'it's not about me' out of each one of these boys, they know it.

It is a tricky situation to handle at any age, though especially as a teen. Sometimes it feels utterly impossible to say no to the people you care the most for, but at the same time, not saying no can lead to unintentionally self-destructive behavior or that other person relies too much on them, which is just as unhealthy for everyone involved.]

Casey, it was only an example. I did not mean to make you worry. It just felt like a very recent comparison I could make. [And then because they realize they have not answered him, after a brief pause, Rue adds on,] I would.

Edited 2023-11-27 22:58 (UTC)

Okay... okay, good. I understand. I think.

[He'll work on it a bit. Boundaries... compromise. He doesn't think he's come up with that issue yet with Hunter, and examples with anyone else don't immediately come to memory, but maybe it'll be something he has to feel out in the moment. He'll try to keep that in mind, especially for the next time they poke at the bear that is Belos and his research. And especially when there's a chance it could get worse before things get better. There's still probably a lot they don't know. He doesn't want to screw things up, but he also doesn't want to push himself and end up making things worse in the long run.]

Is... there a good way to redirect? If he asks if we're sure, um... I guess if he keeps asking, then it's not as simple as saying yes... is there anything else I should do?

[Rue hums gently on the other end of the call.]

It is a process, do not feel bad if it takes some time to figure out. I only ask that you come to me when you need the help, especially with this turn in how things are going with Hunter. It is not that I doubt your capability, but there are some things that will go beyond what you and I can do. It is better for Hunter if we communicate and stay on the same page.

[They are still boys, no matter what they've been through. Sometimes the best thing to do is just get the parent involved. They will make it work, somehow.]

It may feel cruel to turn his question into another question, but when Hunter asks either of us if we mean what we say, we need to remember that it is not a reflection of his opinion on us. It is his own self-doubt taking voice. And self-doubt can only be truly soothed with self-reflection.

Turn his eyes inward. Ask him 'what can I do to make you feel more secure in our friendship?' or perhaps 'what do I say or do that makes you think I am only humoring you?'. Giving Hunter the power to look inside of himself and see why he is asking these questions can help empower him even more in the future.

Edited 2023-11-27 23:36 (UTC)

Oh... oh, that's really good.

[Yes he is WRITING THIS SHIT DOWN.]

So it's good if he answers the question himself... if we make it more about his feelings, how he views things. It's not that we did something wrong, it's that he's getting used to us doing something right. Or he needs to figure out what 'right' is for him, so we can do that instead. Less, "are you sure" and more, "why am I unsure."

[A pause, and then, with a somewhat disbelieving chuckle,]

Like- "it's not about me", but in a good way.

[For once!]

Exactly! That's right, Casey.

[Rue is going to smother him in love when he visits.]

Hunter is so used to the awful way he was treated by his uncle, that anything nice that we do must be a total shock to him. His feelings are completely valid, no one can blame him for how he is reacting to our kindness, but at the same, we are just stifling his growth if we do not give him the space he needs for it. We can be supportive and loving and still help him grow, all at the same time.

[It is validating to have his thoughts confirmed, thank goodness. He's trying to follow their lead, but he still only has halfway of an idea of what he's doing. To know that not approaching this problem in the right way could make it harder for Hunter helps a lot to make the concept sink in, though. That's the last thing he wants. If it creates a boundary for him (which is good) and helps Hunter to grow (which is also good) then it can only be a net gain. Right?]

I... hope we can do it. I really hope we can do okay. It's- [High pressure.] ...I'm worried. About screwing it up. It's been easy to say yes to everything because we like the same stuff so far, but... I don't want to...

[Ugh. He's probably worrying over nothing, but he can't take it back now. And it's new territory for him. Something about it feels different, like he wants to get it right every time, or he'll lose something precious he can't get back.]

What if I say no to the wrong thing, or disappoint him, and make him think about his uncle?

[Saying no to him is refusing him something he wants. And he deserves everything he wants now because he's had nothing. It really has been easy, so far. He's wanted to give and give. Is there ever going to be a moment where he can't? Where he doesn't want to?]

Hear my voice, Casey.

[A gentle pause, giving their boy a chance to focus on their words instead of his own spiraling thoughts.]

It is not a matter of if we can. It is only a matter of when. Neither you nor I plan on giving up on Hunter, so all three of us will make it through together. I promise you. It may take time, but that is time I know you and I are willing to give.

[There is always room for hope. This may be a pretty intense conversation for a young teen, but there is always hope at the end of it. Rue knows they will all be fine. Hunter is their son now and they will never leave him behind.]

Nothing you do will ever be on the same level of what his uncle did to him. That is not a fear you should even consider. However, there is always the possibility that we may get push back from Hunter. The best thing you can do is be honest with why you are saying no. The same way that we are asking Hunter to not frame his worries around us, we can not frame our boundaries around him.

Telling him 'you are too much' or 'your problems are stressing me out' would come off very cruel. Instead, you can simply say, 'I value our friendship and I know you need reassurance, but there are times when I’m unable to provide it immediately'. Or 'I care about you, but there are times I need some space. Why don't you talk to Rue?'

[Good call, and Casey does give himself a handful of seconds to breathe deeply and gather his thoughts. He's not trying to freak out about it, just...

...no, okay. No more spiralling in what-ifs. Rue is right- they'll manage it. Sooner, later, somehow. They're going to help Hunter believe in himself like they do. How is the hard part, but they're working on it.

He knows he'd never hurt Hunter the way Belos did... definitely not on purpose. Accidental hurts are more difficult to navigate, and he can only hope they've built enough trust between them that an accident like that would not be misinterpreted.]

That's not too dismissive? I think he'd understand, but... I don't want to disappoint him, either. It feels like he's been disappointed a lot in his life already.

[And he's felt disappointed in his life enough times to know it can be absolutely crushing, a slow drip of pain over time, like a chronic condition brought about by the world itself or those around you. At least for him, he was still loved, even during the times he'd felt let down by life. It was situational, not intentional.]

That's a very good question, little one.

[Casey is so thorough, so caring and attentive to those he loves.]

He may feel disappointed, yes, but there is nothing wrong or selfish about creating boundaries. They are not just to keep you safe, but to help him grow as well.

[There is a pause on Rue's end, a quill running over paper, before they continue.]

There's something else to.

Okay...

[He'll just... trust the process. See how it goes. Try his best and hope. (A ninja's greatest weapon. It's important to remember. He always needs to hope.)]

What is it?

Put some faith in Hunter.

[They let the words sink in before continuing.]

It's true that he may be in a very delicate position right now, so wounded and frightened after all he has been put through. But not too long ago, so were you and so was I. Hunter is stronger than I think you give him credit for. And that is no slight on you, Casey, you just care with your full heart and want to protect so fiercely. That's something else we have in common

[Like mother, like son.]

But Hunter is going to be just fine. What he needs most is not defending or coddling, he needs family. Family who will hold his hand and dry his tears when he needs us, but also encourage him to stand up for himself too. [a soft chuckle] Not that he won't have all of us behind him supporting him the whole time, but Hunter deserves that self-confidence to take the first step.

[Okay yeah he needs a second for that one. Intended slight or not, it does force him to rethink a few things. He genuinely doesn't want to be treating Hunter unfairly, or underestimating him. Is he coddling? Is he doing it too much? Or maybe he needs to rebalance one with the other so it isn't too much? Challenge him, but not push him too much, create comfortable boundaries without shutting him out, don't coddle but encourage him, believe in him without being unreasonable...

...This conversation is giving him so much to think about. Oh boy.]

He... he does deserve that. And I really don't want to make things harder for him. I don't want him to think that I think he's weak or anything. Um... [He's quiet for a long moment, then exhales.] I-I'll try to keep that in mind. Thank you.

[More than anything, he wants to be the best friend he can be. If his behaviour is anything less, then he'll adapt. He'll do better. Hunter deserves a chance to thrive, and under his own two feet. ]

These are some big concepts, Casey, things that I still struggle with, even in my old age. So I'm proud of you for working through them with me and asking questions when you needed to.

[It's a lot to put on anyone, but Rue knows that Casey has been getting so wrapped up in this nasty Belos plot, they want to help protect both boys as much as possible. This is a friendship that should continue to thrive, and with a little mindfulness, it will for years to come.]

I am only bringing them up because I know you want to be there to help Hunter heal from his past just as much as I do. So these are my suggestions on how we can help one another and him, all at once.

You've done nothing wrong so far, I should add. And none of this might even be necessary. But you are both my sons now and that means I will arm you with everything I have ever learned. Anything to make your lives better.

[He hesitates again. Then, very quietly,]

You don't think... I've done anything wrong?

[Rue. Rue, please, he's so worried. The feedback has been good but he's not peer-reviewed. And also he's 90% sure a small bird threatened to cut him.]

[!!!]

Well, not that I have seen, dearest. I think you have been an excellent friend thus far.

Are you fearful of something else I do not know?

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