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Dear Mom,

You should take time off! Close the shop, delay orders that don't have a time limit. Spend more time on yourself! You don't want to feel overloaded on your wedding, right? And whatever you think you still need to finish, let us help! Instead of having people come in, we can do deliveries, so you don't have to spend so many hours in the shop! I'll do anything to help. If you don't ask, I'll just bully my way in and do it anyway, so you'd better put me to work :)

You're right that it doesn't have to be super fancy. Only as fancy as you want it to be! So if you want to go crazy, then definitely go crazy, even if it's only for a small group. Have a wedding you'll be satisfied with after it's over.

Writing a letter is a really good idea, so thank you for that. It's sure helped me get my thoughts across in all the letters we've written, to the point where sometimes I feel bad about all the info-dumping I've inflicted on you. (I know you don't mind, but I still want to be self-aware enough to say it. Whether or not I'm capable of stopping is another thing.) I started working on some. Or more like, I started, then restarted, then restarted… it's harder to get my thoughts straight. Maybe because I don't know for sure if they'll ever see it or hear it… you'd think that would make it easier. Low pressure, you know? I'll keep working on it, though. It's better than the alternative, whatever that might be.

I think the love of a mother can be different, depending on the mother giving it. From what little I remember of my bio mom, her way of showing love was a lot different from how you show it, but I craved it just as much as I do now with you. You couldn't possibly be more different, but I loved her, and I love you, all the same. Anyway, you've been an official mom for a long time now, so you have SOME experience at least. You've seen what works and what doesn't. We're all learning together, that's okay.

I'm so glad to have you in my life, too. I'm not a perfect son, but I'm happy to be imperfect together. What matters most is that we're happy. And I am, so that's plenty.

It makes SO much more sense for you to be the one giving him a sewing machine! I don't even know where I'd start looking for what's good or not… searching for one together is an amazing idea. I'm all in :)

Love you always,
Casey

[The letter is accompanied by a couple of little sketches, one of Rue solo, one with them and Hob, another with them and a little owlbear cub. Not the most advanced art, but he's clearly been practicing hard the last several months. They come with a little post-it:]

I did these during my day off, Hunter agreed art didn't count as work :) I might try to use them for painting practice later. it's a lot better than leaves glued on paper!

Darling,

You drive a hard bargain. As tempting as it is to keep doing things my own way, I know that would only force you into bullying, so I will graciously accept some help. But even then, only a little. And only on evenings you do not feel overwhelmed with schoolwork. I don't want to interfere with your studies, your schooling is so important to me and I would never forgive myself for ruining that for you.

But thank you for the offer. Truly. I do not know what I would do without you in my life, and I am so very grateful I shall never have to find out.

As difficult as it may be, as you have seen in all of our practicing with letter writing and flower crown making, most things start off hard and get easier with time. It's in the repetitions, the repeated motions of your pen gliding over the paper, soon enough all of your thoughts will spill out like ink across your paper, instead of having to spend the time overthinking every single one. Just continue to give yourself that grace we spoke of. Eventually, writing to them will be as easy as writing a letter to me. :)

(Is that a fair assumption to make? That writing to me is easy? I certainly hope I am not too far off in that belief. For me, there is no one I could write more sincerely with than you.)

I suppose I have been your official mother for some time now, haven't I? It's so strange to me, how it feels as if I've only just met you and that I've been your mother forever all at once. I have been a parent for a mere comma in the life of a fae, but it has been the happiest and proudest months of my long life. I have held acclaimed titles, been the emissary of joy for every fae across Faerie, but none of that has ever compared to the joy of being your mother.

You are my everything,
Mom

Do not dare insult my favorite piece of artwork, Casey Jones. Though I love these beautiful sketches, I will defend your leaf paper until the day I die!

[When Rue opens this letter, a whole pile of rainbow glitter falls out. Just a heap of it. It gets everywhere.]

Dear Mom,

APRIL FOOLS!

Do you know this holiday? I read it on a calendar and had to look into it. It's all about pranks and jokes. It's pretty silly. So here is the prank! This isn't a real letter. It's just glitter. April Fools!

Love,
Casey

PS: I'll send a real letter tomorrow.
PS PS: I think you can just magic the glitter away, but if not, let me know and I'll come over and clean it up.
PS PS PS: If it makes you feel better, I got glitter all over myself putting this together, so I guess I pranked myself at the same time. Also Hunter. Also the couch.

Dear Mom,

Here is a real letter, I promise. Any glitter included in this envelope is purely accidental.

I don't think it'll get in the way of schoolwork. Definitely won't ruin a thing :) I do still have to catch up after spending so much time on the bird bot, but I think that's going well since a lot of it is coding, and I can do that anywhere. If I bring my laptop to your shop, I can let it compile some code while we work together. (If Donnie hasn't filled you with tech terms already, that just means I tell the computer to do some work for me on its own.)

Giving yourself grace is harder than it sounds, turns out. I started a few letters again. I've gotten further than before. I think I'll wait until after the wedding, though. Between that and school and the stuff with Hunter and the guard, I'm thinking about too much to really get my thoughts together. It's okay to let it wait for a while, I think. I know where they are, and it's not as if I know how to get there yet. Or if I ever could.

It's very fair to assume writing to you is easier! And accurate. I think it was hard at first, because I didn't know how to write by hand, or how letters worked, and I didn't know you that well. It definitely got easier over time, the more letters we wrote to each other. Now it's been eight months (wow!) and it feels almost like nothing could be easier. The words come to mind and my hand knows how to write every word. I can't write fancy the way you do, but I think it's more legible than it used to be :)

You've been my mom for 5 months and 10 days! Not that I'm counting. (I am counting a little.) Slightly longer than a comma in a human's life. I'm glad it makes you happy, either way. Looking back, it's amazing how much better everything is, and so much of that is thanks to you.

All my love,
Casey

My very happiness,

It is the night before my wedding and I am surprised by the calmness I feel. I thought I might be more nervous tonight, a flutter of raw nerves and old uncertainties rearing up, but in their place, I feel peaceful. I feel ready. I did not think I would ever be able to face marriage again after what happened, but I trust him. And more than that, I trust you and the other boys. Whatever happens, I will not have to face it alone again. And knowing that gives me a strength I've never had before.

Will you stand with me while Hob and I exchange vows? Just in case I should like to take your hand?

Now, enough of that. Back to the topics of our previous letters.

I'm endlessly proud of you for making so many attempts at writing to your sensei. Please know, darling, that every attempt is a success, simply for trying. Even if you are not able to finish the letters properly, you are still getting those important feelings and thoughts of yours out onto paper.

Every single time will get easier. I promise you that.

Eight months! I imagine we have so many letters written just between the two of us that we could wallpaper one of my living room walls, don't you think? That is so many sentences, so many words, so many letters - and more than anything, so many honest feelings. I would say you're an old pro by now, Casey. No matter my experience in letter writing, neither of us would have gotten anywhere in this endeavor if you had not been courageous enough to open up to me. So give yourself some credit, darling. :) More than just your handwriting has improved!

And I will be your mother for so so SO much longer. :) Please keep counting, that is another anniversary we will be able to celebrate together.

My love for you is endless,
Mom

Dear newly wedded Mom,

I'm sorry it's been so long. I kept looking at your last letter and wanting to respond but after you-know-what I think my heart needed a break from letters. Even good letters. But I miss them and hearing from you, so here I am, wiping the slate clean! I don't want to talk about any of that. At least not here. Still processing a lot.

I know I must've said it a hundred times already, but your wedding was amazing :) Thank you for having one, it made my first one extra special. I'm so glad it went so well, and that you were able to find peace and the happiness you deserve. I'm glad he has your trust, and he'd better love you more than you can ever imagine or else he'll be in big trouble!

And of course you already know the answer, but I'll always stand by you no matter what. In weddings or out.

Now that it's been so long and I know how to write better, do you think I could learn to write curly letters like you? I've tried to copy it a little but it's harder than it looks. I don't think I'll be able to learn it through guesswork. But it does look really fancy, doesn't it? Like a whole other language.

I'm counting and counting! We've got a whole pile of birthdays coming up, party-wise, but after all of that, we can have an anniversary day just for us, maybe :)

Love you love you,
Casey

My darling son,

I know I have given you my thanks a dozen times over, but thank you again, for your support and your love. And simply for being at my side the whole day long. My heart is still aflutter from the love I received from all of you. That day will remain with me in picture perfect clarity for the rest of my life.

It may have been the first wedding you attended but hardly the last! You will be able to experience weddings and so much more, I have no doubt.

Oh! Cursive? Casey, I would be so utterly delighted to teach you to write as I do. Can we make plans this week? I will set up a lesson plan immediately! We will need parchment and pens and plenty of scratch paper. Perhaps a notebook even, for practice! Or a chalkboard...

Soon. :) Let us get through these next few birthdays first and then we will celebrate.

I love you, my Casey. And I am endlessly proud of you. Always.

Forever and Always,
Mom

Dear Mom,

A wedding should be memorable, right? Something so good you never forget! But if you really want picture perfect clarity, I have lots of photos :) I'll be printing them out, so if you know anyone who has photos as well, send them to me! I want to put them all together.

I wonder who else would get married. I bet Leo and Peter will one day, but they're probably a few years off from that. I don't know other adults well enough for more, I don't think. But I'd love to see more! Weddings are nice. Everyone looked so happy that day.

Cursive is the word! Thank you. I'm a little late, but I think I can get everything except scratch paper (because I don't know what that is) and a chalkboard (because I don't know if I can get one that is travel sized??). Maybe we could meet up on a non-school day before you open the shop? We can go shopping, have a first lesson, and I can practice in the corner while you work. :) How about Monday?

Love you, love you,
Casey

My darling,

Oh please, my Casey. I would be so grateful to see all of your photos! Though I adore the photographs I have of our previous wedding, for Knickolas' sake, I would like to put the past behind us, and focus instead of our present. And our future. Which means a lot of reorganizing my current photo albums. :) So your help would be much appreciated.

Peter and Leo have some time to wait, but there are quite a few couples in Folkmore who are either planning for their weddings or are quite close to being engaged. I hope that we won't have to wait very long for the next one. :) Truthfully, as fun as my own was, it will be a relief to simply attend and party!

Forgive me, dear, I only mean some extra paper for practicing on, normally one of lesser quality than the paper we write these letters with. As for the chalkboard, leave it to me. I will find us something we can use! As for Monday, I accept. :) I won't go as easy as I do during our owlbear lessons though, so you better come prepared!

I love you endlessly, my son,
Mom

[This letter is written in... cursive! A very clumsy, careful, and slow cursive, which probably makes it easier to read but also weirdly mechanical-looking. He's still practicing.]

Dear Mom,

I needed a new project! (Not really but I'm doing it anyway. Bumped to the top of the list! Only the best for the best mom.) If you need help reorganizing the rest, just let me know. For now, leave the wedding photos to me. <3

More weddings would be amazing, yes! If you hear about one that's kind of open like yours, I'd love to see it. We sure have a lot of parties in this world, huh? Between our own and Thirteen's. It's amazing we still have energy for dancing and stuff. My closet is getting stuffed full of fancy clothes.

We should plan a party for you, just to get a feel for how much work it is, and how much you do for everyone. I know it wouldn't be a match for your work, but I'm curious to see if we could pull it off. Between all of us, I'm sure we could make something fun for you!

...This is hard :( but it's good to learn :) I'll keep practicing.

Love you,
Casey

Casey, my son,

Well! What an eventful weekend it has been! I will not lie, Peter's disappearance, no matter how brief it may have been, shook me to the very core for those awful few days he was gone. But I am so beyond grateful he's returned, even with the new terrible hurt he carries.

I don't know what we might have done if he hadn't come back to us... Or what we might do if one of you other boys ends up leaving without a word.

But I did not begin writing this letter just to air my lingering worries.

Thank you, Casey. For thinking of me in the midst of that mess. For wanting to celebrate such an important piece of me. It does not matter that we found one another so late into our lives, being your mother is the very best thing I've ever done with my life. So thank you. Always. I will continue to do my very best for you and the other boys.

I will admit, the idea of you boys throwing a party without my assistant tickles me greatly! But knowing myself, I doubt I could just sit by and simply watch. Perhaps some time, one day in the future.

Also my darling, please look back at the first few pages of your cursive training notebook and see how much improvement you've made already! I think you may be surprised!

See you soon, my wonderful son,
Mom

Dear Mom,

I think Peter is going to need a lot of reassurance for a while. I'm sure you've got it covered, but I didn't want to miss saying something just in case… are there other ways to create bonds between people? Like the fae bond, something that could get in the way of people vanishing. I don't know. Maybe it's stupid to think we'd find anything stronger than Thirteen, but it's worth trying, right?

You can air your worries though! Any time. I have the same ones… I don't know what I'd do if Thirteen sent you away from us. We'd try to get you back of course! But I don't have any kind of power for that. Maybe Donnie would figure out dimension portals after all. I'd try to help him with that.

I know it wasn't the same as a full party but I'm glad we could share that moment. It meant so much to me, to help you feel seen the way you helped me. I'll always be happy that you're my mom. Don't ever stop! (I know you won't. But don't!)

One day we'll throw you a surprise party and you won't have a choice >:) You'll just have to be pampered and partied at with no interference.

Looking forward to Hunter's first birthday with us! I'll come early to help wrap our gift <3

Love you always,
Casey

My little cub,

Sometimes I find myself stuck between protecting you as your mother and the honesty of the bond we've built together. But I will be truthful with you, Casey. I may not know the full extent of Thirteen's power, but from what we have experienced ourselves, I don't believe there's anything in this realm more powerful than her.

But I wouldn't want my hesitance to stop us from looking. You're right. When it comes to you boys, it is always worth it, a hundred times over.

As much as I don't like to think of us being separated, I do believe that our Donnie would fix it in the end. I can not even begin to understand how, but I know he would.

And for what it is worth, I will never stop being your mother. :) Always. No matter what.

The day that you boys throw me a party, I can already say will be another one of the best days of my life. Just another perfect memory to hold to my heart forever.

I love you, my darling. I hope that you never doubt just how deep that love for you goes.

Yours forever,
Mom

[This letter arrives crumpled, with the first half smudged and legible but rough.]

Dear Mom,

This trial sucks :( I'm so tired of being soggy. I got the rain to stop for now but I have to keep banishing myself to the balcony to avoid getting all the electronics wet. At least the actual weather isn't bad.

Anyway you're probably right about Thirteen being stronger. But I still want to search, too. Maybe I'll talk to Master Draxum. (Later, though. He really needs to rest, he's been non-stop since he got here.)

I hope we can remember this world if we end up going home early. I don't ever want to forget you're my mom. But we'll still be connected forever, right? That's how we can find each other someday. I'll keep hoping for that, no matter what.

I have a question for you! I'm thinking of asking on the network too, but your opinion is the most important. What colouration is the best for a cat? I'm done programming my school project so_______

[There's a streak of fuzzy ink across the page, like he was startled out of the last word. Then, a little more clear:]

stupid cloud! ruined my letter!

I love you goodbye :(
-Casey

[This letter comes attached with a bundle of waterproof paper, just in case of rain. ;)]

My sweetest, soggiest son,

I hope you have been feeling better since our adventure in letting off steam! Please, you know that if you ever feel that raincloud coming on, just come over and we can sit in my garden. Watering the plants will be soothing and I never mind the rain if I get to spend time with my most darling boy.

Pray, is Master Draxum well? I know he has been quite busy since his arrival to Folkmore, but the way you phrase it makes me worry. Truth be told, I never expected that the two of us would get along so well, but I can hardly imagine a time where he wasn't a part of our family. It warms my heart that you and Hunter like him as well. :)

You both are the most wonderful sons.

Anyway, to speak to your next worry, I will only say this: No matter what happens, I will always be your mother, Casey Jones, no matter the distance or dimension that separate us. And more than that, I will find you again. You have my word. Nothing will keep me from finding you, as many times as I must.

Oh! The best cat colouration? Well, I believe every feline is beautiful it their own way! But if I must pick, I quite enjoy orange cats with white bellies or the gray striped ones with spotted bellies. Both are so very darling, don't you think? What's your favorite, dear?

Don't you dare, Casey Jones! A little rainfall hasn't ruined a thing. I will cherish this letter just as much as I have every single one that you've ever sent. I love you endlessly, my little cub.

Always with love,
Mom

Dear Mom,

I love you endlessly too :) I hope you liked your surprise. And hopefully better late than never. Our love isn't late, just... not as timely as we'd like sometimes.

I do feel a lot better, mostly because that weather is gone now! But you helped a lot at the time, just like always. Thanks for always being there. You're the best ever!

About Draxum, if he hasn't told you already, he'd better tell you soon. I'm gonna text him a bunch of grumpy emoji until he caves. If he HAS told you, though, try not to judge him too harshly. He was a villain not that long ago, but he's a good guy deep down. Sorry, this is vague. I hate being stuck in the middle, but I'm also glad to be someone thought of as trustworthy, for confiding and stuff... I don't like that this keeps happening, though, and I end up being the one to prod someone into sharing with the people who ought to know. Are you angry? I'll understand if you're angry. I'm really sorry.

I'm really happy you'll always find me, though. It's reassuring. The idea of being from different worlds is less scary, when I think about that.

Orange or grey stripes are cute too. I got a lot of suggestions for cat colours. Lots of black, lots of calico. Master Draxum recommended tie-dye, do you know how to do that? The results look really cool. I kind of want to try it. Barring that, I like the look of a torbie cat.

I'm glad you cherish my letters but I'm MORE glad that this one isn't rained on. Hopefully the next trial is less damp. But at least I can kind of talk as your little cub now :P

Love you forever,
Casey

Casey my darling boy,

I can not believe that you boys went behind my back and planned the most wondrous, beautiful party for me! It means the world that you and Peter and darling Hunter went out of your way just to bring so much joy into my heart. Thank you, endlessly. I have never once had a party in my honor outside of the two weddings that I both coordinated and hosted myself. So for this special event in particular, I will never forget how much that day meant to me.

And please, you never have to thank me for helping you weather any storm, my darling. Big or small, I am right here for you through it all. Just as I trust you will be there for me in return. Such a thing might have been impossible for me to pen once upon a time, but now it comes so simply. Our relationship has grown so much and I could not be happier.

As for the matter of Draxum, we have spoken, yes, and of his own volition. I did not approach him first or bully him on this matter in the slightest. He only came to me when he was ready and I'm so very grateful for it, though it does trouble this old heart of mine to hear how he's suffered. I worry for him deeply, for this and the rest of what he's been through. I can only hope that him coming to me with this means he will trust me easier in the future. He should feel safe reaching out, not terrified of getting his hands slapped.

As for you, my Casey, I am not angry with you. Now or ever. I feel as if that would be utterly impossible. It does make me sad, to hear you've been trapped in the middle of so many secrets as of late, but I know that is only because of the trust built up between you and everyone else. Just please. I only ask that you don't carry the rest of the world's burdens along with your own. Not alone.

Since the weather is beginning to turn, we should play with tie-dye this weekend. Plan to come over and I'll have everything prepared for us. Bring along whoever you think might have fun. The more, the merrier.

You are always my little cursing cub ♥
Mom

Dear Mama-san :)

I'm so glad the party went well. It really taught us how much work you put into it, and how good at them you are! You make it look so effortless, but it took longer and required way more steps than we thought going in. It must be the mark of a true professional, for you to host so many and make them go off without a single hitch. I really admire you more than ever!

(It wasn't TOO much work, to clarify. It was so worth it to celebrate you!)

I'm glad things worked out with Draxum. And I really will try not to carry too much, going forward... try being the key word. Sometimes I get kinda in over my head. But it's because I love my family! So I don't entirely feel guilty for it. Just a little bit... I think what bothers me more is other people having to support me when I struggle by taking on too much. Even if I probably shouldn't worry about that either, because family helps me the way I want to help family...

Ah, whatever! Everyone speak up if you need help. Including me. Life would be so much easier if we stopped hiding things. And if we stopped being kind of hypocritical about it.

I still have a million complicated thoughts in my head right now, with everything going on. New people coming, others going... I'm so glad you're still here. If I'm around more than usual, it's because seeing your face calms me down more than I know how to say.

Love you always,
Casey

[Today's letter is enclosed in an envelope with a few cat punny stickers all over.]

Casey!

Every single time you call me Mama-san, I fear my heart will go out! It is just so very darling and I can hear it in your sweet voice so perfectly in my head!

You flatter me so much, my love. Don't forget that I've done hundreds if not thousands of parties over the course of my life. Of course the first one would seem like much more work, but you all did such an amazing job, do not sell yourself short. My effortlessness is simply due to excess practice. If I put you in charge of every party from here on out, I imagine you would become a master in no time.

(I will not, haha! I only meant it as a hypothetical. :) )

I find myself agreeing most ardently! How many problems would be so easily resolved by simply speaking up?!

That includes you, my darling, but I'm not saying that to shame you, simply as a reminder. I am all too aware of how strange things are for you right now, and we all want to be there for you, though maybe I would like it just a touch more than the others. :) I'm proud of you, Casey Jones. You are the brave beyond your young years. Things are going to turn out alright, whatever happens we will be right there with you. I will be right there with you. And you will always be my little cub.

My darling boy, I love you endlessly, forever and ever,
Rue (Your mama-san)

Edited 2024-07-10 04:28 (UTC)

Dear Mom,

Sorry this one's so delayed. I don't even have a good excuse, this trial isn't that bad. Just weird. I've got no complaints, but I kind of want to throw some cards in Thoth's office that are covered in a million question marks when I go back to school.

Do you have a favourite party you've organized? (Besides your wedding, I think that's too easy an answer!) You definitely shouldn't put me in charge of them (unless you want to celebrate a small disaster) but if you need help going forward, I'd like to learn more.

Speaking of celebrating! We're not that far away from the day we met :) It may not be as exciting as the anniversary of the adoption, but if you're free, I'd love to go out and do something with you. Or even stay in and have an "us" day.

It's kind of funny, looking back at how worried I was about everything when this month started. Family stuff, like with Cassandra, it all kind of blurred together and I kept wondering what I'm supposed to do, how I'm supposed to say what needs saying. Now, things are so much better, I'm excited about the future. Just like always, I did feel safer knowing I always had somewhere to go. If she didn't want me or didn't like the idea of being a mom, or even knowing me once she learned of that connection, I'd always have you. I'm glad you think I'm brave, and I don't disagree, but I'm so grateful that I can take my time and hide a little when I need to, with your support. I'm so glad to be your little cub, always!

I was wondering. If she wants me to call her as a mother, not her name, would you share it with her? Should we find some other version for her to use? Or would you want to be Mama-san for real? I'm cool with whatever. We're making it up as we go anyway. But how you feel is important to me!

Love you, love you, love you,
Casey (Junior!)

Dear Casey,

It is no worries at all, little one. These letters are never an obligation. I'm happy enough to be written at all, you never need to fret over getting them done. Not ever.

If you are quite serious in learning, my darling, I would be so happy to teach you, but only if you are truly interested! I won't want to waste your precious time with my silly talk of party planning otherwise. As for a favorite event outside of my own Wedding, it will always be the Bloom. More than anything I wish I could share the magic of it and the Feywild with you and the other boys. Truly, it would be unlike anything you've ever experienced. What I can do is just a mere fraction of the Feywild's beauty. I feel the true Bloom at it's peak would blow all of you away.

I miss it, of course, but never enough to return.

And of course, my darling. As if I ever need any excuse to celebrate the two of us. What would make you most happy to do? I'm up for either a day on the town or a day in, whichever you prefer. I'll make either as special as you deserve.

And as long as you wish to be, you'll always remain my little cub, no matter how old you get or how tall you grow. That will never change. But I'm so grateful it has been easier than all of us expected and that you are feeling more confident in building your relationship with her. You ARE brave, and that doesn't change just because you need time to reassess your feelings or to think things through. That only goes back to that message of giving ourselves grace that we are both attempting this year. Take your time always. Relationships worth making won't pressure you for more than you're ready to give.

Ah, I don't want to be selfish, so please do whatever would make you most happy. But I fear I would be quite hurt to not be called your mom anymore. You were the first to ever call me mom and that is so deeply special to me. However, if that is what would make you both happy, I would take whatever name you would give me. I won't stand in the way of your mother, of course. That wouldn't be at all fair of me.

I love you always and forever my darling son,
Mom

Edited 2024-07-31 07:59 (UTC)

Dear Mom,

I don't think it's a waste! It's important to you, and you always seem so happy doing it. It might be a good thing for me to learn. It might not end up being MY big passion, but that doesn't mean it can't be fun for me too. I'd like to try at least once, and I can tell you how I feel after, how about that? :)

Maybe we should do a Bloom, or something like it, one day. It might not be exactly like the Feywild, but we could do our own version. A Folkmore Bloom. It's still a very pretty place, right?

I like the idea of going out, but also staying in and relaxing. Maybe I can come over and we'll decide on the spot? I think that suits us best. Or we could go out and do something in the evening, maybe. As long as your husband doesn't mind if I steal you all day :P (I know he won't.)

Please don't ever think I want you to be anything less than my mom! That isn't what I meant at all. The word is just a word, you'll always be Mom as long as you want to be. I was asking because you seemed to like Mama-san, I didn't know if it was better or easier or what. If you want to stay as Mom then you're Mom forever. It's okay to be selfish about that sort of thing! (Or, don't call it selfish. It's 100% fine to want what you want, especially when it's something you already have. I would never dream of taking it away from you.)

I haven't actually called Cassandra Mom yet, either. I don't know how she'd feel about it. Just one more thing I can't figure out how to ask yet. There's still so much I haven't said. It doesn't matter in the end, though. If I can have two moms, I can have two Moms, you know?

Love you forever,
Casey

My Casey,

It is so strange to see our previous conversation from Before and to realize that such simpler times were but a week earlier. All of it is precious to me, of course, everything we discuss means such a great deal to me, but I find myself struggling with just how to address it.

Maybe a fresh start would be best.

Tell me about how things have been with your mother. I'm so grateful they are going well - and I will not tease you to say I said as much - but I would love to hear just what you've both been up to together. How are you feeling about things with her? Is everything better than you imagined?

My apologies that this letter is so short in comparison to the rest. Since Knickolas left, I find the words just haven't come as easy. I hardly know what else to say. Come over soon, please? We'll watch something fun and drink cocoa together.

I love you more than anything,
Mom

Dear Mom,

Being home again and writing a letter after staying at your place for so long feels a little strange. It's nice to be here, but I miss you too! I'll be visiting more going forward, so don't worry. There's still a few weeks before the next year of school starts, I have lots of free time.

Things are going really well with my other mom! Did I tell you, she took me flying when I had that kid-version illusion going on? We went right up to the clouds. It was amazing. I don't know how to describe how it felt, believing she was the one who raised me, and having her back from the dead for those few hours. I don't think my kid self could have been happier than that. Even if it was brief and I know the truth now, I really can't see it as anything but a gift. I'm a little sad, but I'm glad for it. And April told her about my timeline, that she died. I didn't have to. You were right about all of it. I was kind of guilty at first, but April wasn't angry. And I feel lighter for it.

Besides our anniversary (which was awesome), writing this made me realize, we've now been writing back and forth like this for over a year! Your first letter to me was dated August 13th. Every single one of these letters is a treasure to me. Thank you for always writing me back, seeing one of your fancy envelopes in my mailbox makes the whole day better.

Always yours,
Casey

My most handsome son,

(Please don't tell Leo! Or Donnie!)

I know I only just saw you yesterday, but after so much time spent together, I find that I am missing your company as well. What a blessing that I have BINX and Ciel to keep me company, so that I don't have to keep dragging you poor boys all of the way out into Willow every single day. I'll miss the lazy days of summer, but I'm excited for you to get back into school and have fun learning with other teenagers.

I'm so grateful for April, but there was no doubt in my heart that someone in the family would take that weight off of your shoulders. I'm glad things have been so well for the two of you, it's what you both deserve, a second chance. Together. My heart is so joyful for both of you.

Oh! It has been over a year now! I can hardly believe it. It feels both shorter and longer at the same time, doesn't it? But a full year of letters! You hardly need the practice anymore, but I would be so happy to keep writing to you for the rest of our lives, even when we are back in New York and living under the same roof. This is a tradition we must keep up always.

Thank you for everything, my Casey.

I love you endlessly, my little cub,
Mom

March 25

March 29th

April 1

April 2

April 8th

April 26th

April 29th

May 3rd

May 6th

May 10th

May 15th

May 22nd

May 26th

June 3rd

June 6th

June 13th

June 24th

July 1

July 9th

July 25th

no subject

Aug 5th

Aug 17th

Aug 22

Aug 27