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[Rue's paw finds his shoulder, helping to steady Casey and to keep him from flopping right off of the couch.]

Leo is fine. [careful, direct, keeping it short. Rue does not need to ramble into an essay on the state of the teen while Casey is left hanging desperate for information.] He's resting. Peter's with him now.

[Casey slumps back at the reassurance, exhaling shakily, and gives that whole sitting-up thing another try, slower this time. He'd spoken with Peter briefly; thank goodness Leo has him there now. He deserves to see all his loved ones safe and sound.]

Good... that's good. Okay. [Inhale, exhale. Everything is okay. Or... as close to okay as it can get right now. He lifts his head, squinting towards the side window of the apartment living room, where bright light is filtering in through a break in the curtains.] ...It's morning...?

[He looks exhausted.]

It is. I've brought you breakfast. Even if you do not feel very hungry, you must get a little something into you.

[He is exhausted, but he's trying his best. He scrubs at an eye, and looks over at the plate. Last night kind of killed his appetite - Hunter had even brought over some snacks and he'd passed out before he could so much as touch a chip. Rue is right, though, he needs to eat.

He picks up an apple slice, nibbling slowly on one end.]

Thank you... um... are you okay...?

[Things had been kind of frenzied last night, and they'd arrived in a rush. He hadn't had the sense to check in until now.]

[Let it be known that Casey is the one who opened this door.]

I am alright. [Tired, naturally, from the long hours at Leo's side and all of the magic they've used up through the night, but exhaustion has an easy cure.

But then Rue's expression softens, watching Casey nibble on his breakfast, a paw very gently closing the distance to rest on the couch by his leg.]

Are you okay, Casey?

Edited 2023-11-22 17:47 (UTC)

[He's relieved to know they're okay. And the question isn't unexpected, but he still chews his way through another apple slice before he relents with an answer.]

I'm fine.

[At least, he is an acceptable level of not fine, which in the apocalypse is as close as one can get to 'fine'. He doesn't care for the fact that he's thinking that way again, but it's probably for the best, all things considered- the situation calls for a clear head, for proper action, not moping and weeping. And although the peace was nice, while it lasted, back home he'd never have been this shaken for this long. He... might need to rethink some things. He's gotten too comfortable.

The answer feels insufficient, though, so after a moment he adds reluctantly,]

I'm tired, and hungry. This is helping, so... thanks. [He said that already, but it bears repeating.]

I can only imagine.

[That 'fine' feels as if it's buried beneath layers and layers of emotion. Rue hopes he will not push them away when the paw near his leg raises to rest at his back instead, soothing and soft and warm.]

Donatello left so quickly and then you slipped away too before I could ask, but Casey, do you know what happened to Leo?

[Many layers, and no shortage of gloom. He doesn't pull away from their touch this time (there's no one to call or check up on, no Leo or compounded guilt to escape). He does go tense beneath their paw, though.

The question was inevitable... now he has to acknowledge it.]

He came to save me from the hunt. We were trying to escape, he was making a portal... I was too slow. [He lowers his good hand, grasping the elbow of the one the arrow had paralyzed, halfway hugging himself.] One of them took his arm as we fell through. Then I brought him here.

[It's so... clinical. A matter-of-fact mission report in a hushed, carefully restrained tone. Rue doesn't need to know how he'd frozen at the sight, how he'd remembered the forgotten horror of his childhood, how he'd failed to deflect the attack happening right before his eyes, how he hadn't run away, sensei told him to run away-

It's simple. A statement of fact. He needed help. Leo paid the price for his weakness, just like always.]

[They'd had a feeling, but there are times when nothing you could imagine could be as terrible as the real truth of it.

Casey goes tense under their touch and Rue has to pull away, misinterpreting the reaction to mean that their presence near him is not wanted, that he does not want Rue to wrap him up like they so desperately want to. Instead, their paws settle in their lap, talons curling together, needing the feel of warmth and pressure and comfort in touch, even if it's their own.]

I'm so very sorry, Casey, that you were involved in any of it. I can not imagine how that must have felt. [Rue would be inconsolable, too much of a mess to be of any help to anyone.] But even still, I hope you know how grateful I am that you got him here to us. That you knew to call for me. I think my magic was able to save our Leo from a great deal of painful recovery. Thank you for getting me here in time.

[He shrinks in a little as they withdraw, shoulders hunching. O-oh... he did that. When he'd pulled away before, he...

...he doesn't know how to fix this. He swallows hard, quiet for a long moment after receiving that thank you. It feels wrong to accept it, considering.]

I... I almost didn't. You're not- you're not supposed to do that kind of thing- call for backup when the danger's too great. You shelter in place, you work with what you have... you wait until it's clear, so the med evac team doesn't die, too. It's- it's not responsible. [There's rules, safety measures. The very basic of dos and donts for surviving the apocalypse, minimizing casualties. They had the supplies, they had it under control. Leo would have lived.

...Leo would have suffered more.] We're not supposed to, [he finishes weakly, noncommittal. Donnie had been so angry. And why shouldn't he be? Casey had refused. He'd caused this. He'd carried Leo here, he'd staunched the blood. He'd put Rue's life at risk by calling for help. And then Donnie and Rue had taken over and he'd done... what? Nothing.

He doesn't deserve to be thanked for doing the bare minimum.]

[Leo needed the help and attention, needed someone there sitting beside him through the night just in case his condition shifted, but even still, Rue can not help but feel a terrible twist of guilt in their belly at the thought Casey had been out here alone, with the weight of all of this perched on his skinny shoulders.

That's enough. They may be overstepping, Casey may be hurt and furious with them later, but he is their son and Rue will not sit here and watch him punish himself like this. Sorry, Casey, but without warning the owlbear is rising to their feet and scooping the teen up to steal him away to the apartment balcony, nudging the door closed behind them. He may protest, but what he needs is the fresh air to clear his head and the warmth of the sun on his skin. The apartment still smells so heavily of Leo's blood, just stepping outside, Rue can already feel themself growing calmer after a whole night trapped in such misery.

But either way, they are not releasing that boy from their arms.]

Breathe with me. Follow the rise and fall of my chest.

[Casey makes a soft noise of protest as he is lifted and carried out, not exactly wrestling to escape but pushing himself upright with one hand rather than nestling properly against them like he normally would. He doesn't need them to fuss or worry about him, he's fine! He's barely hurt at all. They should be focusing on Leo. He's fine. He's.

His breath catches when the fresh, late-autumn air hits him, and he inhales it slowly through the nose. He hadn't realized how sharp the scent of blood had been in the apartment all this time, even with all the attempted cleaning he'd done over the course of the night. Outside it is bright and crisp and fresh, a beautiful day, a deceptive contrast against the horrors of last night. He doesn't resist their grasp, but he has a hard time following their breathing, his own quick and hitching, like he's trying to gulp in as much fresh air as he can in quick succession before they have to go back inside.]

I'm not- I'm not panicking- [he says in a rush.] Please- Rue, I'm okay-

[He's fine. He's fine! They should worry about Leo, or Donnie, or Raph, or literally anyone else. He's the one who screwed up, and now they know that, but they don't know the other time he screwed up, and... and. He's fine.

He's not not fine.

He shudders, slumping forward, and just kind of pants into their feathers for a minute. He's too tired to fight them on this, but it really doesn't feel earned.]

[They know immediately.

And maybe it's unfair of Rue to drag Casey outside into the fresh air against his will, to force him out beneath the sunshine after isolating all night on the couch, but Rue is certainly beginning to learn that being a parent is doing whatever is best for your child, even if they hate you for it.]

Please, Casey.

[Every protest is like arrows through their heart. He just sounds so defeated.

Casey slumps into them, panting and exhausted against their feathers, and Rue's paw reaches up to gently cradle the back of his head.]

You do not have to open up to me if you are not ready. But you can not keep it in either. We all were witness to how frightening things became with Leo. Cry, scream it out - whatever you must do, just please, darling, do not keep it inside.

[Casey falls silent at their plea, trembling, and lies otherwise limp in their arms. He listens to them speak, still breathing too hard, though he at least starts to make an effort towards getting himself under control again. It's true that it was... scary, yeah, but... he's been through worse. He's survived worse. He was caught off guard at the time, but it's over now. They're okay. He's okay. He's tired, that's all. He slept like garbage on the couch. He should have slept on the floor. Nevermind that it was covered in blood-

His breath hitches, and he gasps, like he'd been drowning, coming up for air.]

I screwed up- I screwed up, I didn't- I didn't mean to push you away, I'm sorry-

[It is perhaps not the thing he ought to be talking about, but he's not sure if he's ready for that yet. He's not sure if he can let himself cry, and Leo is sleeping (much, much needed) so screaming is off the table. But this, with Rue's wings around him, like they'd wanted to do last night and he refused. This. He can't stop this stream of anxious thoughts from bubbling up. He did it before. He's doing it now. He doesn't mean to.]

[It may not be the root of all of this, but it is something besides Casey's repeated murmurs that everything was just fine. This is real and Rue can work with that.

They give him a moment to sniffle and gasp for air and work the words he needs to past his tongue, before Rue finally cuts in. Their tone is firmer than normal, commanding attention, but it never reaches above a gentle whisper between the two of them. No one inside will hear a word.]

Casey, you are my son and I need you to know that nothing can ever change that. I do not care if you push me away or if we fight or if one of us says something in the heat of the moment that we deeply regret. You will still be my son.

[They did not adopt him purely because he was a well-behaved child they could coddle and adore. They asked to be his mother because they love him and want to be there with him at every stage in his life.]

I will never stifle your voice or your worries. Or your apologies. But I need you to know that no matter what happens between the two of us, it will always be fixable. You can not push me away. [Their wings squeeze around him, head tipping down to nuzzle at his cheek.] I will always just get extra hugs later to make up for it.

[With a tone like that, there is no refuting it. Casey sniffs, falling into silence again as he allows those words to sink in. That fierce parental tone is... new. With sensei it usually felt like an order (he was a commander of a makeshift army, it made sense) but the sound of Rue's voice is a little familiar nonetheless. A demand for attention, not obedience. It's different. He can push back, but not deny their words.

Silently he hunches his shoulders, his hands pressed to their feathers, and finally, finally, he takes a breath at pace with the rise and fall of Rue's chest, through his nose. One, then two, then three. His heart is still racing uncomfortably, but the smell in the air is... fresh. Clean. There's no blood here. Not on the balcony or on his clothes or on Rue. They're holding him. They're holding him. He didn't... he didn't.

It's fixable.
It's fixable.
It's fixable.

He closes his eyes, shaking like a leaf in the frozen winds of winter, and buries his face against them, nodding wordlessly. He hears them. He understands. He doesn't know what to say, but... he hears them.]

[It's always fixable.

Casey feels smaller than ever in their arms like this, trembling and clinging on like he may slip between their fingers, but Rue just engulfs him fully within their wings, letting the boy bury into their feathers as much as he needs.]

You and I? We are just fine, my darling boy. Please push such fears from your mind. I forgive you and I love you. And I promise that I am not going anywhere. Take all of the time you need. You do not need to say a word.

[And Rue will keep him warm here on the balcony, carrying him as long as Casey needs, content to watch the rising sun as their own son catches his breath in their arms.]

Edited 2023-11-28 04:09 (UTC)

[They're fine... he's forgiven, he's loved. They'll stay. The words are a lifeline that he holds in his heart, dangling off some terrible precipice with an unhealthy familiarity waiting at the bottom. He doesn't want to lose what he's gained, here. What he's been longing to have for so long. Peace. Happiness. A family again, hale and whole. They're a little broken now, but... but.

They're here. They're safe.

Eventually, when his body is warmed, pinned between Rue and the subtle heat of the autumn sun, he turns his head to the side to finally speak, his voice quiet, tired, and unsure, but not frantic.]

I don't... I-I don't want to go back to... fighting a war. I don't want to be that person again.

[It's such a wretched way of thinking. The fear, the paranoia, the anger. The ache of constant loss. Thinking about casualties and minimizing risk. Never leaving shelter without full gear and a sense of caution bordering on terror. Watching the ground for traps, the sky for a bomb to drop. His heart pounding like a hammer-

He doesn't want it. Living like that again.]

[Pressed against them as he is, Casey might feel the way Rue's heartbeat rises at his gentle, tired plea. They wish more than anything they could promise him a life void of all conflict, but that just isn't a possibility in any realm. There will always be something, whether it is protecting their family here from the wild unseelie or fighting off the apocalypse back in Massachusetts or defending the people of New York once again from any new danger.

But facing conflict does not need to mean that he becomes a soldier once again. Casey deserves to just be a young careful teen for the first time in his life.]

I wish that I could promise peace and safety for the rest of your life, darling. But if I can not promise that, I can vow that you will never need to go back to living a life of only survival. Not here, not with me. This - This right here will pass and we will be back to the routine that you and I have made. Cuddling on the couch watching nature documentaries and painting your nails every color under the sun and sending passive aggressive texts to each other when Leo or Peter make our eyes roll.

[Silly? Maybe. But after these last few weeks, don't they deserve a little silliness?]

I am still hopeful that this will be over soon, that we just need to make it there. I am not ready to give up. Are you?

[Those words strike a chord. A promise like that wouldn't be believed; he's young but not so naive. He'd been waiting for the shoe to drop. Peace is temporary, even in a world like the past Earth he'd been sent to. This world, with all its magic rules and looming trials and hidden monsters, is not made to be a peaceful paradise. They're here to grow, find their 'best selves'. His best self is surely not a groomed and healthy youth with painted nails and eternal smiles. One grows through tribulation. He knows this. He knows it.

But Rue is... hopeful. He thinks of sensei, and his heart aches. He thinks of Leo and it aches harder.]

A ninja's greatest weapon, [he whispers, in a watery voice. He's going to cry. He knew he would. He's going to cry and the war's back on again, but Rue is... hopeful.

He sniffs.] I won't give up. I'll wear the mask again for a while, and... when it's over... I can... I can go back.

[Put it aside, until next time. Until next time. Until next time. There'll always be one. But if it's not... constant... he can endure that, can't he? He's endured so much worse. It'll pass. That's not... so bad.]

[Rue will not patronize him, won't lie just to soothe Casey's rising fear. His terror is all too valid considering his past experiences, the life that he fought to survive in all those years before he ever met Rue.

But they are hopeful and that is the truth.

As distressing as this moment is, it still pales in comparison to Rue's time in ADI, the difference between the two realms like night to day. For all of the hurt of these last few weeks, even that does not stand up to the bright radiance of the months prior. The fae will move on as autumn shifts to winter and everything will go back to how it had been. They just need to keep hope in their hearts.

Casey is so tiny in their wings, it's easy enough to untangle themself from him and move to sit the boy on the balcony railing, facing the rising the sun, the owlbear themself right behind him, his body still tucked safely into their wings. Their feathery head rests atop of his, looking out into the quiet of morning of this world Rue has come to treasure, sitting with a boy who has stolen their heart.]

One day you will be able to put it away completely. But for now, I feel that this world is worth protecting, don't you think?

[He allows himself to be moved to the railing - between his arm and their size difference he's very much at their mercy, but thankfully he does trust them well - and slumps back against them, gazing wearily at the sunrise. It's still early enough that the sun is low in the sky, soft shades of red, orange, and pink mingling with the blue sky to form a beautiful gradient in the center, streaks of colour breaking through the soft clouds. It's so different from home, where the sun could never be seen through the decimated atmosphere, where the sky was forever lit with the fire-red of terraforming and distant explosions. He's been here for months and woken up early most mornings, but he's spent too little time appreciating the beauty of what he'd never seen before. Just a simple sunrise, perfectly normal here.

A part of him wants to reach out, but he's old enough to recognize the futility of it, and settles for resting his good hand on one of the wings holding him, keeping him from falling.]

It is, [he whispers. His tears fall steady but silent, no broken weeping.] It hurts to lose peace more because I never had it. I want it back... I'll keep fighting.

[For peace, for their family, maybe even a little for himself. He's shaken, but this won't break him.]

[It is more than any child his age should have to deal with ever, but even then, Rue knows Casey's strength and determination are unfaltering. Now that he knows exactly what the future he could have why, it makes returning to the fight more bittersweet, but the reward of the after so much greater.

And as long as they are together, Rue will be there to offer their strength to continue, anytime that he needs it. No matter what, he will always find safety in their wings.]

I hope you know how proud I am of you. It takes great courage to open up like that. But you spoke honestly with me and I am so very thankful that you did.

You've grown so much, even in the few short months I've known you.

[Those words choke at his throat, and he swallows hard, blinking rapidly. As kind and encouraging as ever. Even when he feels like absolute trash and utterly weak, they have nothing but good things to say about him. He'll do his best to remember all of this, so that maybe later or tomorrow, when the wounds aren't so fresh, he might start to believe them.]

...Thank you...

[He slumps further against them, already exhausted from a long, restless night, such a brief nap, and a burst of weary tears. He's fading fast, but he has to murmur,]

Thank you.

[For listening, for being with him, for holding him and promising a better future, even if it's not a perfect one. He's never asked for a perfect future, he's only ever wanted to live and be with his family. He's lost one, gained another. Life goes on.

And... for forgiving him, after he pushed them away in his fear. For loving him anyway. He's so lucky. The world is terrible right now but he's lucky.]

[The owlbear's only response to Casey's sleepy thanks is to hum in return, a soft noise that slowly morphs into a gentle lullaby.

It's the same tune that they remember from their childhood, before they were ever taken by the fae, the musical rumbles and chirps of their parent, the only piece of their former life that's remained intact in their memory all of these millennia later. So Rue hums while Casey slumps against them, perfectly safe in their arms, holding the boy until his head tips back into their feathers and his breathing softens with sleep.

Only when Casey is asleep does Rue scoop him up from the balcony railing completely and return inside. His room is still occupied, but it only takes them a moment to gather an extra pillow and a few comfortable blankets before they are loosely burritoing Casey on the couch, tucking him in and pecking a kiss to his forehead. And Rue will just plant themself on the floor next to Casey, keeping close in case he suddenly wakes and needs them.

They've already survived through the darkest night of their lives here in Folkmore so far, so the arrival of the morning sun brings back a touch of hope within Rue that they will all be fine.]

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