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Perfect. Lesgo.

[He doesn't waste another second, just popping open a portal to Burrows right there in the hallway.]

[Casey steps through immediately, and once they're on the other side, he leads Leo up the hill roof and down the other side, outside of the residential area and deeper into the trees. It's not an especially long walk, and he fills the space with a bit of idle smalltalk, but mostly he's quiet unless Leo talks. He knows how to keep quiet when on mission mode, and this feels... not quite that? But the vibe is different from usual.

Before too long, the trees break, and he leads them into a quasi-rectangular clearing with scattered stones and boulders, thick trees lining the outside in all directions, and this is where he stops.]

This is where I trained while I lived here. It's great, you can yell a bunch and nobody can hear it for miles.

[He keeps up the small talk easily enough; even if his nerves are jittery and a mess the more he thinks about how things in his life are going, he can still make pleasant conversation while they're walking. He doesn't wanna cause any distress until they're somewhere private.

But once they get to the clearing he looks around. Nods approvingly.]

Perfect. Good eye, this is... really perfect.

[Okay, well. At least he got the venue correct. Casey takes a moment to scan the area for the presence of anyone else around - force of habit, but also Leo indicated he'd wanted a quiet place which means no unwanted guests - before he turns back to Leo.]

What's going on?

[Not even going to give him the chance to lead with BS by asking if he's okay.]

[Smart because Leo would have simply chosen to not answer. Deflect probably, but he doesn't want to lie to Casey. Not after everything that happened. After everything Leo asked Casey to do.

He grabs a sword and flips it in his hand once before throwing it across the field and materializing himself to it. Then back closer to where he started.]

Needed to clear my head.

[Casey watches him quietly for a long moment, trying to scrutinize his expression, the request, their location, even his presence. If Leo wanted a quiet place to teleport around, he surely could have found one on his own. This feels intentional, but his own presence is the question mark he's trying to figure out as much as what Leo needs to clear his head about. (That is, admittedly, a longer list than he would like. Just two of the things that come to mind immediately are substantial.)

He rests a hand on his hip, close to where he stores his chainstick, though he doesn't touch it yet.]

Spar with me?

[An offer as much as a request. He's not sure what Leo needs yet, but he's also not sure he'll be told.]

[Maybe he wanted a witness. Maybe he wanted someone here to pick up the pieces if he couldn't pick himself back together.

But the offer gets his attention. He's... never sparred with Casey. Somehow in all the mayhem that happened, he'd only glimpsed at Casey fighting in the subway. He never got a good read on the guy. Leo knows Casey can keep up with him.

He sheathes his and moves to hold out one hand. A proper handshake before they start anything.]

Sure. Let's spar.

[Casey accepts the hand for a shake; his grip is firm, steady. He can't count the number of times he's sparred with Master Leonardo, and while he has no doubts that the experience will be quite different - they're more even in weight and size, no prosthetic, stronger ninpo - he knows Leo's strength well. He's not here for a serious fight, but he's determined to at least keep up, if it'll help Leo with whatever he's working through.

Once they've shaken, he takes a few steps back, assuming a ready stance, and gestures for Leo to begin when he's prepared.]

[Good firm handshake. What a pogchamp. With that out of the way, he steps back and into a ready stands, hands up and loose and balancing on the balls of his feet.

He tests the waters with a feint or two, like he'll come in with a punch before carefully slowly side stepping around to circle Casey.]

Hey... Did future-me tell you much about Pops?

[Casey's eyes narrow briefly, subtle but present. Pops. Worried about the adoption thing?

He follows Leo's movement, arms up and ready to deflect. Leo's always bouncing, full of energy, lightning-quick with fists, blades, and tongue, always. Casey could never hope to match him for raw speed and strength, so he's learned to deflect that boundless energy and strike between, to plant his feet and only move when he must, because his stamina would run out long before his opponent's.]

He told me a few things. Stuff you'd do together. TV, training. Tea. [He thinks for a moment, searching for the word from his childhood.] Wakoucha.

[There's a split second of recognition at the specific tea before he dives in. Not his usual too-fast-to-see speed, but still quick to get a light jab at Casey's chest before he's out again whether it landed or not.]

So the important stuff. [He goes in for another quick light punch, the other side and back out.] ....He sound like he had any regrets?

[It connects, but only just; Leo's slowed enough that Casey can shift back a half-step, and the strike is made just slightly softer than it would otherwise have been. The speed difference has Casey somewhat off-balance. He definitely wouldn't have been able to dodge that. Leo's going easy on him, or just off his game enough to count?

He's faster the second time, deflecting the punch and chasing after Leo instead of remaining passive, returning a punch attempt for Leo's arms. A misplaced strike to the shell or plastron could easily break his hand.]

He didn't call it a regret. But I remember he wanted to hear more stories. He wished he'd said he loved him more.

[Not a regret, but a wish. That's Leo talk for 'regret'. What he wouldn't give now to hear Splinter yelling at him or telling some long winded story that he could pretend to not care about while hanging on his every word.

The punch to the arm lands, glancing a bit as he jumps away. Good. Casey's going on the offensive.]

...I kinda get it. Kinda wish I could hear some of his stories now.

[Casey chases him, recognizing and taking advantage of the switch. He knows better than to do it for too long (sensei did this to him once, had him chase all the way around the dojo six times before he about passed out and sensei won without a scratch or a swing) but it's becoming obvious that the point of this is not the spar, and he'll follow his role a while.]

...What would you say, if he was here?

[An old question, maybe, but Leo won't know that.]

I-

[Hold on, he's going to come in low for a leg sweep, try to get Casey off balance. Leo slides past him quick, aiming for that left leg of his to take out. He ends up on Casey's other side, balancing himself with fingertips of both hands on the round to assess his next move.]

I dunno. I miss him? That I'm sorry?

[The leg sweep gets him, but as Casey drops he leans hard into it, catching himself and bracing his weight, kicking the other foot out to try and either knock Leo back or force a retreating dodge while he recovers. He's too vulnerable on the ground. "Get back on your feet, Case, or they swarm you. One more time."

He grits his teeth, rolling. He can do better.]

Sorry for what?

[Leo is at least a good sport and waits for Casey to get back to his feet.

But god. What a question. What isn't he sorry for? So much over the last year. When's the last time he got to hear Splinter drone on about a Lou Jitsu set story? Hear Mikey laugh at his brothers doing something stupid? He wishes he could hear April beg to have a normal day.

He hasn't gotten up from his stands half crouched, instead Leo lowers his head a little.]

Everything.

[Casey is back to his feet quickly, but at Leo's answer, he doesn't close the distance to continue the spar. Suddenly nothing is as important as that kind of confession.]

Leo... [Everything? What does that even mean? He watches Leo, expression pleading for more.] I don't understand.

[He said that out loud, didn't he?

Can't take it back. Not from Casey. He deserves better after everything.]

...Your sensei. Did any of them ever tell you how the invasion started? Not that thing about Metro Tower, I mean how it really happened?

Edited (my punctuation didn't go through... rip) 2023-11-04 15:26 (UTC)

[Casey's brows furrow. It was never sensei who told that story. He was hardly ever around when the adults began their dramatic retelling. Either they didn't talk about it around him or he made himself scarce. He never thought twice about it- decades into the apocalypse, who would need to hear the story over and over? (Besides the next generation, apparently. They really did tell that to kids.) Anyway, he already knew how it happened. How else could he have told Casey what to look for?

(Even though he didn't. He said to find it, not the where or the when or the how. They hadn't exactly had time for specifics, with a Titan looming over them and Krang hounds converging. He handed him a sketch and a blank canvas, thrust into a world he'd known nothing about. It was the turtles who knew where it was. The turtles who'd all been angry at Leo-

"This time we do it together-")]

He didn't. I knew he- he blamed himself. He didn't tell me why.

["I had it."]

You were right. Back in the subway. I was arrogant, and I didn't listen. Because it was my fault. Because of me, all of it happened.

[That was the crux of it. If he'd stopped trying to goad Raph into taking leadership back, if he hadn't kept trying to be a show off and prove something, maybe he would've listened better. He did hear Raph say he had the key. He just chose to ignore it and then play dumb later.]

[Casey opens his mouth. Closes it. Takes a hesitant step forward, as the wheels are spinning.

"Because of me."]

You lost the Key, [he whispers, and it's like dozens of puzzle pieces are slamming into place. Sensei's self-blaming. How much responsibility he'd shouldered. How weary he looked all the time. How sometimes he'd look at Casey and seem guilty, how often he'd say how he'd win the world back for him, as if that world hadn't been sensei's first, as if he hadn't been the one who lost everything.

No one else blamed him. But he-]

You lost it, [he says again, quieter, and drops to his knees. He needs a moment. His whole life's perspective has been shaken to the core. Everything- he shouldered everything- that empty world full of bones and ghosts and people living half-lives underground, he-]

[Unfortunately, the truth is bad. The truth is his sensei is a colossal fuckup that cost the entire world. And Leo here, half-sprawled on the grass, is well aware of it. It was his fault from the start. And maybe there was some tiny whispered part of him (guilt) that rationed that his life for the world maybe was worth it. Leo doesn't know if his brothers really made that big picture connection with Casey's apocalypse and his single selfish action yet like he had. But Leo couldn't stop thinking about it.]

...I haven't seen dad, or Mikey or April in a year now. And- And I dunno if I can face them. We saved our timeline but...

[Casey is quiet for a little bit, parsing this new information, still struggling to slot it into the story he'd always known. His sensei was larger than life, always, both in figure and presence. He'd been grown since Casey's earliest memory, and he'd had difficulty at times reconciling the sensei he knew with the much smaller, immature, reckless teenager from the past. How could this ever be sensei, he'd thought in the subway tunnel, infuriated by Leo's complete failure to lead the team effectively. "This is not about you," Master Splinter had told him, and he'd ignored it entirely. A lesson he should have heeded.

"This isn't about me," sensei had told him, twenty-four years later, right before he died sending Casey into the past. "It's our only chance."

"This is the only way," Leo told him, right before pleading with him to lock him away in another dimension with a mass-murdering monster.

Something twists inside Casey, like a torn muscle, sharp and aching. He wasn't always sensei. When the apocalypse started in Casey's timeline he was this age, young and inexperienced and arrogant and wild. Sensei had carried this weight for decades, learned to manage it. Understood his role but worked to make things better. He could still find the strength to fight, to smile, to love. Even until the end. It didn't... define who he was.

Casey takes a slow, shuddering breath.]

Haven't you done enough? [he manages to choke out, his voice tremulous.] You... you saved your timeline. You stopped the Krang. You destroyed their ship. You led us the way sensei would. You almost died... [He swallows hard.] Isn't that enough?

[His sensei had twenty-four years to sort it out. Twenty-four years to deal with the reality, compartmentalize the guilt and turn it to something productive. Twenty-four years to talk with his brothers and learn what was more important: placing blame or helping everyone survive and fight.

Leo, here and now, is so small. And still so young and inexperienced, but he's still dealing with the reality of his decisions nearly getting everyone killed in a single day. So many humans died in those twelve hours. Human lives that Leo could have prevented if he hadn't been so far up his own ass to prove something.

His fists grip at the grass in his hand, nearly pulling it up but stops and lets it go.]

...Is it? [If it was enough, then he'd stop having nightmares about it. Of being in that dimension stuck, or of watching his family be overtaken by pink pulsating flesh, or that he's the one being taken over and brought back by him family only to rip them and the world apart by his own pink clawed hands-

He shudders a breath and looks up at Casey. This boy they all laughed at when he brought them a warning and tried to help. How long had he been wandering the city looking for them? Had he gotten there before the Key was stolen and could have stopped it from ever getting to the Foot? How much time had been wasted?]

...I haven't done enough.

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