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[Peter isn't sure what he feels about that. Is he jealous? Maybe. Sad? Yeah, okay, that's there too. Its a tangled mess of feelings clashing against one another.

It just confirms he really shouldn't do it. He shouldn't crowd Rue and everyone else. He's frustrated with himself because he can't just say yes.]

Oh cool. I'm glad you said yes.

I know it probably makes Rue really happy :)

It did. But more importantly it made us both happy, because it's what we both wanted.

Are you worried about saying no?

[He's guessing, and Peter can dodge or deflect if he likes, but it's been a while now. Based on how openly and happily they'd brought up Donnie saying yes, and how worried they'd been with the radio silence on Leo and Peter's ends, it's a given that the answer hasn't changed yet. And maybe it won't ever.]

[Wow, he hates this. Thanks, Casey!]

I don't know what I'm going to say. I don't really know what I want.

[you opened the door, don't get mad he walked in!!]

That's okay. It's complicated, right? I gave myself a long time to think about it, too. Rue knows there's no wrong answer. Just whatever answer's right for each of us.

[The door was ajar Owlbear Jr, don't you push your way in, get back here!]

Yeah, its... definitely complicated. I just want to be sure of my answer before I say anything.

[Asking Mister Open-With-Feelings to keep his mouth shut, you absolute Spider-Fool.]

That's better than answering too fast and taking it back later. Rue said there's no time limit, right? They'll wait until you're ready. And whatever answer you give is okay.

[He knows Rue. Whatever conditions (or lack thereof) they'd laid out for his adoption would of course be in play for the others as well.]

Yeah, I don't wanna hurt Rue or anything. I love them, I just feel like

Yeah, I'll figure it out.

[He aborted that sentiment half way through, just ignore that. No need to worry Casey.]

[buddy. buddy no. he worry.]

Can I be blunt with you?

[One fear? This conversation.]

Oh, sure.

There's stuff you need to say, and you're holding back from saying it. I get that it's an awkward subject. It's okay if you don't want to talk about it with me.

Just make sure you're holding back for the right reasons, or you're going the same path Leo did. Talk to SOMEONE.

[Thanks, he hates this. He didn't ask to be called out like this.]

Right.

I'll keep that in mind, Casey.

[He will now talk to no one, since it's his problem to deal with.]

Sure, Peter. Anytime.

[does not believe him for a goddamn second, but okay. they're all playing this game.]

[Aggressively redirecting, don't worry about it.]

I plan on talking to Rue about this. I'm just thinking about it.

Asking about it helps.

I'm glad if it helped. I know I'm not like

[...

mrgh. how does he phrase this.]

I don't know what I'm doing either. But I went from having no one to having um

so many people

sometimes I got overwhelmed by it. like Rue kept saying they or all of you loved me and I thought, really? already? no one even knows me, I'm just some kid who brought a lot of grief to their lives and cries a lot over nothing, how could they love me

but they do
and I do

I don't know. It just helped me a lot, to trust them and how they felt, when I couldn't trust myself.

idk what I'm saying I always talk too much, sorry. trust them to love you, I guess is what I really want to say. whatever your answer is.

[Peter has to think about his response, turning it over in his mind. He wants to be mad at Casey for calling him out, but it doesn't last. It never really does with his friends and family.]

You deserve all the kindness, Casey. You've always deserved it. You don't talk too much, or cry too much, promise.

It is overwhelming, yeah, I just...

It's always been just May and me, and now I'll never see her again. I'll never have that life again. Never see those people again. I'm dead, I can't fix that. Even if I did, I can't. I don't...

I probably got my friends killed, and it's my fault and I can't fix that. I can't fix anything.

I love Rue, and I love everyone here, but I don't know what I want. I don't wanna put Rue in danger or anyone else here in danger, I just..

I'm just some dumb kid whose only good for one thing, and I don't even do that anymore. I don't want to, but I'm supposed to.

Okay, sorry, word vomit happened. That was way too much.

I can deal with it. Don't worry.

[Casey reads all of that once, twice. Stares at it for a while. Too much? Maybe. But not really, not for Casey. It just feels like home. Someone is dead. Someone has dead family. Someone got people killed, or at least they think they did. (Usually it's not the case. Even he's guilty of doing that, assuming responsibility for something he ought to blame the Krang for, blame the war for. Being told he's wrong about that doesn't make it any easier to carry.)

Then he gets to the end, and... ugh. How familiar that is, too.]

you shouldn't have to 'deal with it'. none of us would call it 'dealing with it' either. it's helping you. we're here to help you. and you're not dumb.

I'm sorry for

I'm sorry for everything. you've had to carry so much. I hate that life's not fair for any of us. No matter how good a person we are or the good we try to do in the world or how hard we fight

life is hard and mean and we deserve better. it sucks.

i don't think it's right to let fear of losing someone someday stop you from having them in your life now. we both know it's too short for that. say no if you want to say no, but don't let the reason be fear.

I wish I could make a choice.

I'm tired and just wish things were simpler. They're never going to be simple.

Thanks, Casey. Sorry again.

[That feels so... conclusive, but he's said all he feels like he can say. Still.]

It's okay.

We're here for you.

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1/2- SORRY HE JUST LIKE THIS

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