[ Casey is just baby. He is just little. A sweet boy who must be protected at all costs. ]
If there's one thing you gotta know about Raph, it's that he always worries about all of it anyway. [ Sometimes only in vague, anxious ways that his much more detail-oriented brothers make the most actual steps towards fixing. He's a planner, not a strategist. Still though.
Points at! Gently! ] But everyone bein' safe is always the biggest one. And you're part of that, so you get taken care of. This is the Hamato ecosystem.
[ Only kinda sorta knows what "ecosystem" actually means. But Donnie's not in here to correct him. That means he's right until he decides he's wrong. ]
[He does remember that part, Raph always worrying. Even in the robotic body he'd existed in for the years Casey remembers clearly, his expressions had been distinct enough to tell. Sensei made jokes about needing to draw on the worry lines the way Uncle Tello drew his eyebrows. It's because he cared, everyone knew that. He worried for his family because he loved so deeply. Worried harder when Michelangelo aged too fast, when sensei struggled with the weight of leadership, when Donatello died and they were drowning in grief. Raph was there, holding them together, until he wasn't.
The Hamato ecosystem, he says, and Casey's a part of it. It's similar to what Leo said before - a Jones, but also a Hamato - and it makes his chest ache, warmth filling another section of the void he'd been enduring since leaving the future, the only world has ever known. Such a stark difference from the interrogation in the lair, when the only family he'd ever known looked at him and demanded to know who he was. Part of it.
He gazes at Raph for a handful of seconds as the words sink their way through his exhausted mind, until he slides the pan off eggs off of the active element to avoid burning and asks in a voice that feels too small,]
[ No-negotiation establishing of care: success. Casey isn't trying to negotiate it at all, which is good because Raph's skull is thicker than any of that.
Loving is easy. It's the traumatic life events that are hard.
He looks very touched to be getting this hug request, for the record. ]
Yeah. Anytime.
[ Raph abandons egg duties in favor of looping an arm around Casey's shoulder to pull him in. Promises were made and he will deliver. A premium (slightly rumbly) Raph Hug. ]
Thanks for makin' it back too, huh?
[ The years of lifespan retained by that alone... phew. At least Leo is here. At least Casey is here. ]
[Casey is moved and sinks into it quietly, winding the arm that works as far around Raph as he can reach. His head thunks gently against the plastron, and he just kind of lives in this moment for a bit, eyes closed, breathing deep. Experiencing the Raph Hug. It feels familiar. He'd expected that - with their size difference, it's a bit like hugging sensei, even if only one arm is the right shape for it - but there's another, quieter nostalgia attached that he can't name. Some secret sense-memory that loves to elude him. It forms a lump in his throat that he has to swallow back, not trusting his voice to answer, merely nodding. He's glad they made it back. They're bloody and broken but they're here, they're alive. Like after the last invasion, picking up the pieces of what's left.
Eventually he mumbles,]
...You do give great hugs.
[He's never been so glad to have confirmed rumours as true.]
Then you got nothin' to apologize for 'cause it's not your fault. Ipso facto. I'm savin' my blame for the creep that actually did it.
[ His relationship to the concept of Donnie doing a premeditated murder of revenge is going to be complicated at best, on that front. ]
I know that probably don't make you not feel bad. [ Raph is, among his talents, familiar with feeling guilty and responsible for bad things that happen to his family even when logic doesn't support it. Kinda just happens. ] But the truth's the truth, Casey. This whole situation's as much on you as it is on Leo.
[ Wait, does that sound bad? That needs context. ]
So not on you. None amount. And you can't even arm wrestle me about it 'cause you got hurt too!
[ He needs to send Mind Raph to do a tour of duty aggressively supporting Junior, clearly. Throw some papers in the air. Tell him the whole court's out of order. ]
[Casey looks for a moment like he wants to argue, but if blaming himself means also blaming Leo, then he'll absolutely keep his mouth shut. There's no way it's Leo's fault.]
None amount... [It sounds ridiculous to say, but it drags a wary and very nervous smile to Casey's lips. It sounds nice, in theory. To not be at fault.] So if I can't arm-wrestle for it, I can't argue?
Nope. Ask anyone, that's how I do. [ When he's totally sure he's right and therefore refuses to allow a contest that he can't win. ] Whatever went down happened to you guys.
That feels like an unfair standard. I couldn't beat you even if both arms were working.
[But okay, he'll concede that that one at least is a very fair point. It was done to them... to him, to Leo. He didn't cut anyone's arm off personally, he didn't ask for or organize it to happen.
...This one's easier to relent on than the portal issue (that he is not going to bring up) so with a quiet exhale, he finally just... nods. Okay. He won't bring up blaming himself with Raph again.]
[Casey laughs, the sound quiet and brief, but it exists in that space, so that's something, surely. Sadness not defeated forever (is it ever?) but this round goes to Raph. As it should.]
So... you're not blaming yourself either, right?
[Because same logic applies. He knows how this works. He may not have experienced Raph hugs but he has been around the Big Brother Guilt.]
[ Words. Thoughts. What's it like to be good with those? He wants to return the honesty for honesty because that's a respect thing and a trust thing, which he's theoretically been working on since the Shredder stuff. And Casey's kind of a straight shooter with a real talk, which Raph just appreciates a lot in general.
But it's also not, like. A whole thing. He doesn't think it is. He worries about stuff and he feels guilty about stuff. Grass is green. The sky is blue. Even for this, right? ]
A "I don't think it's my fault for not bein' there, but I wish I coulda been there to help you guys." Normal level stuff.
Normal level... yeah, that sounds right. [It's reassuring enough that he's okay to drop it. He trusts Raph.] Um, thank you for being here now, though. Knowing you were here and safe made a big difference for the rest of us.
[He'd spent half the night trying to reach Peter and Hunter, and it'd raised his stress levels something awful. But Raph, Leo, and Rue were right here the whole time. That meant so much.]
[The shiniest of gold stars for the champ of communication here. And the elbow nudge, gentle as it is, helps Casey's smile return. Guy could've bodied him through the wall with those guns, but he barely felt the impact. Raph really knows his strength.]
Me too. Let's, um. Let's get back to breakfast, we don't wanna keep everyone waiting.
Yeah, we don't wanna get hangry in the mix right now.
[ Things have been rough enough. They're two responsible young men who will cook for their beloved family. Even though Leo will probably complain about his terrible broth when he has the strength to complain again. RIP. ]
[Genuinely such a relief- for the help, for the reassurances (mutually, he hopes), for the hug too. And yes, for the talking. Casey smiles and returns to cooking breakfast feeling slightly less weight on his shoulders.]
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If there's one thing you gotta know about Raph, it's that he always worries about all of it anyway. [ Sometimes only in vague, anxious ways that his much more detail-oriented brothers make the most actual steps towards fixing. He's a planner, not a strategist. Still though.
Points at! Gently! ] But everyone bein' safe is always the biggest one. And you're part of that, so you get taken care of. This is the Hamato ecosystem.
[ Only kinda sorta knows what "ecosystem" actually means. But Donnie's not in here to correct him. That means he's right until he decides he's wrong. ]
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The Hamato ecosystem, he says, and Casey's a part of it. It's similar to what Leo said before - a Jones, but also a Hamato - and it makes his chest ache, warmth filling another section of the void he'd been enduring since leaving the future, the only world has ever known. Such a stark difference from the interrogation in the lair, when the only family he'd ever known looked at him and demanded to know who he was. Part of it.
He gazes at Raph for a handful of seconds as the words sink their way through his exhausted mind, until he slides the pan off eggs off of the active element to avoid burning and asks in a voice that feels too small,]
Can I cash in that hug?
[He would very much like it, right now.]
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Loving is easy. It's the traumatic life events that are hard.
He looks very touched to be getting this hug request, for the record. ]
Yeah. Anytime.
[ Raph abandons egg duties in favor of looping an arm around Casey's shoulder to pull him in. Promises were made and he will deliver. A premium (slightly rumbly) Raph Hug. ]
Thanks for makin' it back too, huh?
[ The years of lifespan retained by that alone... phew. At least Leo is here. At least Casey is here. ]
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Eventually he mumbles,]
...You do give great hugs.
[He's never been so glad to have confirmed rumours as true.]
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I get a lotta practice in.
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[Practice? Hugs? Both good. He'll cling as long as he thinks he can get away with. Only then does he dare to voice what he feels compelled to say.]
...I'm sorry... he got hurt because of me. [Again.]
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Nah, that don't hold water.
[ Eloquence, thy name is Raph. ]
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What...? You don't even know what happened.
[Unless Leo was coherent enough to explain, but he's doubtful of that. It was an awfully severe bloodloss.]
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No!
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[ His relationship to the concept of Donnie doing a premeditated murder of revenge is going to be complicated at best, on that front. ]
I know that probably don't make you not feel bad. [ Raph is, among his talents, familiar with feeling guilty and responsible for bad things that happen to his family even when logic doesn't support it. Kinda just happens. ] But the truth's the truth, Casey. This whole situation's as much on you as it is on Leo.
[ Wait, does that sound bad? That needs context. ]
So not on you. None amount. And you can't even arm wrestle me about it 'cause you got hurt too!
[ He needs to send Mind Raph to do a tour of duty aggressively supporting Junior, clearly. Throw some papers in the air. Tell him the whole court's out of order. ]
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None amount... [It sounds ridiculous to say, but it drags a wary and very nervous smile to Casey's lips. It sounds nice, in theory. To not be at fault.] So if I can't arm-wrestle for it, I can't argue?
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Nope. Ask anyone, that's how I do. [ When he's totally sure he's right and therefore refuses to allow a contest that he can't win. ] Whatever went down happened to you guys.
[ You're literally kids end of statement. ]
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[But okay, he'll concede that that one at least is a very fair point. It was done to them... to him, to Leo. He didn't cut anyone's arm off personally, he didn't ask for or organize it to happen.
...This one's easier to relent on than the portal issue (that he is not going to bring up) so with a quiet exhale, he finally just... nods. Okay. He won't bring up blaming himself with Raph again.]
...Thank you.
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[ He's full of shit about arm-wrestling specifically. But not about his rightness right now, in which Raph is very confident. ]
Anytime. I got conviction enough for both of us.
[ Because conviction, like hope or optimism, can also be stubbornness wearing a fancy hat. Maybe even more than those other things. ]
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So... you're not blaming yourself either, right?
[Because same logic applies. He knows how this works. He may not have experienced Raph hugs but he has been around the Big Brother Guilt.]
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I wasn't even there. This ain't about me by definition.
[ Or whether or not he feels guilty for not being there. Obviously. ]
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[He knows a few of these work-arounds.]
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[ Words. Thoughts. What's it like to be good with those? He wants to return the honesty for honesty because that's a respect thing and a trust thing, which he's theoretically been working on since the Shredder stuff. And Casey's kind of a straight shooter with a real talk, which Raph just appreciates a lot in general.
But it's also not, like. A whole thing. He doesn't think it is. He worries about stuff and he feels guilty about stuff. Grass is green. The sky is blue. Even for this, right? ]
A "I don't think it's my fault for not bein' there, but I wish I coulda been there to help you guys." Normal level stuff.
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[He'd spent half the night trying to reach Peter and Hunter, and it'd raised his stress levels something awful. But Raph, Leo, and Rue were right here the whole time. That meant so much.]
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I get that. [ Giving Casey the gentlest of elbow nudges. ] Glad I can help hold the fort down some for you guys.
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Me too. Let's, um. Let's get back to breakfast, we don't wanna keep everyone waiting.
[Sensei will need his terrible broth soon.]
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[ Things have been rough enough. They're two responsible young men who will cook for their beloved family. Even though Leo will probably complain about his terrible broth when he has the strength to complain again. RIP. ]
Thanks for the talk, though.
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You too. Any time, Raph.